Welcome to Gaia! ::

daydreamer_girl's avatar

Fluffy Wolf

13,400 Points
  • Team Jacob 100
  • Jack-pot 100
  • Team Edward 100
Hi guys, I had a thought about some of the topics that I see pop up in the GCD along the lines of "Why do people hide their equipped items list?" and that a lot people suggest that the polite thing to do would be to just pm the person in question to ask what the item is.

Another example would be to not flaunt your age as to prove your point, because implying your experience as more valuable than people that have joined the site later is rude. Other forums, if you hang out in them long enough have their own, slightly different suggestions of how to interact and behave in the forum so that it runs more smoothly.

Now what interests me in this is that these types of etiquette rules (or guidelines) are not any official rules. And what I find interesting is that we form these unspoken rules by interactions with other users. There's more that I can think of at least in the GCD, but right now these are the only ones I can think of.

So I guess if I wanted to include spoons would be your thoughts on this or along these lines:
-What unspoken rules do you hear about, or try to follow in the GCD or other forums? (why would you follow them?)
-What do you think about community formed etiquette?
-What else do you have to say about it?
J 4 C K's avatar

Timid Receiver

I generally don't follow unspoken rules. If it isn't written I can do it.
Crinis's avatar

Beloved Conversationalist

9,950 Points
  • Marathon 300
  • The Perfect Setup 150
  • Conventioneer 300
Very interesting thing to observe online and to ask about! I'll try to answer to the best of my ability before I have to zip off here.

So I guess if I wanted to include spoons would be your thoughts on this or along these lines:

.... Edit: So after re-reading my own response, I felt I could address this top line. It seems that my perspective of etiquette has branched to ''social courtesy'' and is more revolved around empathy and analyzing how to make the most of it in general. I'm hoping this is an acceptable response and not too off to the side. surprised

But anyway, I enjoyed making this post. Hope to check back in a bit later!


-What unspoken rules do you hear about, or try to follow in the GCD or other forums? (why would you follow them?)


I guess I'd have to say that the most I hear about is people's choice of wording. Sometimes because of a lack of seeing a person's expression or hearing their tone, it can be easier to misconstrue one's intention behind their words. More often than not, I see people that don't really seem to mind which way it goes, but sometimes people will work it out if say one misunderstands and the next one elaborates their point with some sort of formality. It's usually hidden behind light-hearted joking words at that point, so there is something that I see of a social concern of keeping it ''Chill'' in the forums for the most part, when you're not seeing that occasional figure that is just trolling just to get a reaction out of people anyway

Every few years or so, I notice a different word to ease as much tension as possible with the playful words but that underlying concern is still there. If this makes sense. But for the most part, there is this feeling I see of ''We're all here just chilling in our freetime from one thing or another, let's try not to have a hard time on our site.'' (This usually witnessed in GD and the such forums, really though.)



-What do you think about community formed etiquette?




Whether on text on a screen or say waiting in line for a ride at the fair, people have the opportunity to make an impression through their own interpretation of etiquette.

I've come to understand different people's take on etiquette, and it's formed usually by trial and error as you grow and socialize and kind of find a comfortable ''nitch'' as it were on how to treat others and how you want to be treated. So, depending on if a person is looking for particular conversation to engage in or if they say want to look for a more meaningful relationship with the outside world, they are given a security online of not worrying about being seen face to face or their identity revealed at first and have the chance to make an impression purely by their choice of words. It can be a bit less stressful in that sense so I think that it IS there in consideration, even if unspoken or with a majority of talk on a very free form, social base in language and words.

I try to keep in mind to treat people as I would face to face, keeping in mind that there are people with different situations and perspectives like me. If there is something that I think is uncouth or not my area of conversation, I can always leave the page and move on.





-What else do you have to say about it?


It's for sure as important online as it is in person to me, personally. I mean, my mother is a very social person and at a young age taught me importance of manners, being careful of your wording, and how to say treat people like celebrities. So, it's given me a perspective of the skills of acquiring relationships through social interaction. My perspective is that different people have different ways of relating. This can include interests, moods, age, common goals/trials, hobbies/religion. And everyone will have their own way of going about presenting themselves.

It's through trial and error how we grow in etiquette but communication is in our system, regardless of how Asocial a person can be. I feel it's something that we are always growing in because when we socialize with people, we learn from them and when we learn, we grow.

Acceptance is important to us as human beings, and it's only a matter of time before we one by one find those people, that ''nitch'' or ''social groove'' where we feel accepted and belonging. Etiquette is the strife to make that best first impression to work towards it. So I think we all have the potential to have some level of it, it just depends on our motives, what we want, and what we are willing to say and do to obtain it.
Insanity Check's avatar

Tipsy Noob

Short answer. Don't be a d**k.
Unspoken rules are everywhere, including (and especially) in real life. It would be strange if we didn't have them on Gaia.

And just like in real life, these rules differ from group to group, from individual to individual. Which is why we have misunderstandings and ruffled feathers even when both parties mean well.
Sayuri-senpai's avatar

Magical Rogue

12,500 Points
  • Magical Girl 50
  • Hero 100
  • Battle: Rogue 100
I have a personal etiqeutte standards that I hold absolutely no one else to aside from myself:

If you're a forum regular or pretty darn popular, I most likely will not contact you first. Aside from being shy, I'm generally concerned that those said popular people will think I'm sucking up to them or I'll be one of the many annoying people that comments them just to say hi.

If you do not comment me back or suddenly drop a conversation in the middle ( not one that was pettering out anyway ), I will automatically assume this is because you don't want to talk to me. And it may be the case that people just get busy, but I don't want to send another message and potentially annoy the s**t out of you.

Even if I talk to you on a regular basis, if you draw art, I will NEVER ask you for art even if I REALLY like it. I know art is a popular thing on Gaia, and I always feel like if anyone I know wants to draw for me, they will.
Penn Almasy's avatar

Fashionable Girl

11,000 Points
  • Full closet 200
  • Hotblooded Hero 50
  • Conventioneer 300
I don't follow (most) unspoken rules because, by their nature, they can be changed at any time, sometimes without any warning at all. They're also annoying to deal with in general.
Dref Dur's avatar

Original Gaian

9,950 Points
  • Forum Regular 100
  • Lavish Tipper 200
  • Somebody Likes You 100
THIS IS GAIA!!!!

Seriously though, aside from the word of god ToS there are no rules.

It's one big chaotic free-for-all! biggrin

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!!!!!

rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl

ninja
Caerthakatha's avatar

Dangerous Loiterer


          While this unfortunately may not be the case for most areas of the site, in the GCD there's always
          an unspoken expectation to type in standard English; nobody is going to go mad at somebody for
          typing la1k d1s, but they certainly won't get many replies to any topics they make like that. This is,
          after all, a discussion forum; it stands to reason that it would value easy-to-read communication.

          I'm always one for trying to stay low and act like everybody else, but most of the unspoken rules
          have never really occurred to me before.

Dref Dur's avatar

Original Gaian

9,950 Points
  • Forum Regular 100
  • Lavish Tipper 200
  • Somebody Likes You 100
Caerthakatha

          While this unfortunately may not be the case for most areas of the site, in the GCD there's always
          an unspoken expectation to type in standard English; nobody is going to go mad at somebody for
          typing la1k d1s, but they certainly won't get many replies to any topics they make like that. This is,
          after all, a discussion forum; it stands to reason that it would value easy-to-read communication.

          I'm always one for trying to stay low and act like everybody else, but most of the unspoken rules
          have never really occurred to me before.


Monochromatic color schemed avatars are IN. ;D
Existential Existence's avatar

Scholarly Storyteller

28,550 Points
  • Partygoer 500
  • Battle: Level 10 250
  • Alchemy Level 10 100
If you end all your posts with these: talk2hand rolleyes neutral lol stare
People are going to take your post as hostile. wahmbulance
So don't. Unless you want to be perceived as hostile. twisted

rolleyes

lol

or should i sayclick...
lol

ahhhh facial expression, how you emoticons work your magic when facial cues are absent in online social interaction...
Pumpkinfrost's avatar

Omnipresent Genius

12,000 Points
  • Partygoer 500
  • Perfect Attendance 400
  • Conversationalist 100
I don't think Gaia has any specific unspoken etiquette that's different from other social groups. Basically, don't send hate or insult people. That's basic etiquette everywhere.
AKB0048's avatar

Handsome Shounen

17,050 Points
  • Alchemy Level 10 100
  • Battle Hardened 150
  • Hotblooded Hero 50
Insanity Check
Short answer. Don't be a d**k.

I can agree with this.
Labtech Soosh's avatar

Militant Bunny

16,000 Points
  • Millionaire 200
  • Marathon 300
  • Jack-pot 100
I don't pay heed, follow, or acknowledge unspoken rules. I will admit though, they add a level of civil discussion among the forum goers and sets everyone onto an even playing field... but the moment you break that taboo, they flip s**t.

Like if someone in an argument about (well lets just say) the corruption of Gaia, and one person says they were on Gaia since 2003 and thus since they've been around longer, they understand what's happening better because they've lived through the entire chain of events. Someone else interjects with the stance "OH MY GOD YOU CAN'T USE THAT" in the argument.
And thus the taboo of Gaian age.
Halna's avatar

Dapper Gaian

1,000 Points
  • Gaian 50
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Member 100
Ghost Tamer
I have a personal etiqeutte standards that I hold absolutely no one else to aside from myself:

If you're a forum regular or pretty darn popular, I most likely will not contact you first. Aside from being shy, I'm generally concerned that those said popular people will think I'm sucking up to them or I'll be one of the many annoying people that comments them just to say hi.


I don't think you should really concern yourself with what other 'popular users' might think of you. They're people just like you and me. The reason they're popular is because they spend more time on this site than more users, just remember that. mrgreen

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games