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Dapper Humorist

My fellow Gaians, I bring you terrible news. This news is nothing good and will most likely ruin your day if it has not already been ruined. Please stop right here if you do not wish to have your day be ruined. For those of you who don't care/already have a crappy day, thank you for listening in. I have just got word that an army of mutant pink squirrels is advancing towards Barton from the south. The road is closed which means that there is no way of making a treaty with them. Because of the mutant blood that flows through them, every person they bite will get AIDs, and if they already have it, their case of AIDs will worsen. If you question my source of information, then you must have the answers, do you not? Because of insurance reasons, I cannot release a name, but yet resort to calling this person "Y".

Now Y has been my bud since the good ol' collage days, but I bet you don't want to hear anything about that. Anyways, Y is used to work for Gambino and was a Labtech before being kicked out for screwing with nature. Even though he created some of the technology that they used before the nuke hit them, all data of him working there was erased meaning that as of right now, he doesn't exist. Due to the process of becoming a Labtech (not the way of making the fake name, adding a random number to it, and putting some cheep knock offs of the Labtech uniform to make yourself look like a real Labtech) any trace of his existance was wiped out.

His home was destroyed, all of his friends and anyone that knew anything about him previously were killed (me being the exception because I was in Canada and you know how they can't do crap in Canada). The only means that he was known was though his fellow Labtech. The outside world would never know of him. The experiment that got him kicked out of the Labtech community, which you know it as G Corp, was one on squirrels and a cure for AIDs. Somehow by making a cure, he would then put it into squirrels and make them bite people there by curing them. Why he didn't just make a cure and give it to the person with AIDs by hand is because he was a little on the crazy side. Something went terribly wrong when Labtech247 tampered with the squirrel.

He injected it with the same liquid that he did to all of the other Labtechs (he didn't put this into his journal) and that caused a reaction between the two chemicals that were in them. The cure and the other liquid combined and created a premature zombie that is not very deadly unless it is killed. Of course, it died because of lack of calcium which caused his bone structure to collaps. Once dead, the squirrel started to bite some of the other animals and a few days later, all of those animals died. When G Corp lost those animals Y also lost his job and was sent out into Gaia where no one would believe him. He was flamed and put down. Eventually he "quit" Gaia because the Admins walked in on him experimenting on squirrels again.

They released the squirrel outside of Barton because it was showing no signs of being abnormal. I don't have the answer to how or when they started to multiply, but once the squirrel got a male, it started (by my best guess) breeding with the other squirrels which spread the chemical that caused the premature zombifacation. Once those squirrels died of age or of being road kill, they came back as mutant pink squirrels. We haven't much time to figure out a weakness of these science failures, but we have to learn soon. If we don't, all of our avatars will die which means all this will become is just a normal boring forum. I have warned you, now you must help me find the weakness!

Dangerous Genius

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ugh that block of text is unreadable. some paragraph formatting would be wonderful.
OH NOES! WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO! I KNOW! ITS THE PERFECT SOLUTION!

*cowers under hat* Tell me when the squirles are all gone!

Dapper Humorist

shyembrace
ugh that block of text is unreadable. some paragraph formatting would be wonderful.
Just break it into parts yourself or don't read it at all.

Dapper Humorist

DecayingThorn
OH NOES! WHAT EVER SHALL WE DO! I KNOW! ITS THE PERFECT SOLUTION!

*cowers under hat* Tell me when the squirles are all gone!
Help my find a weakness! Don't try killing them because it's kinda hard killing something that is already dead.
Collage days? whee
Too many words.

OOG sad.

OOG SMASH UNPARAGRAPHED POST!
I agree with shyembrace, I can read it, but for other's it would be nice to break it into some paragraphs.

Thank you. 3nodding

Dapper Humorist

FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"
Sorith
FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

...Well you're parents much LOVE the fact they're spending 10k for you to do that...Hm...Hey, wonder if I did that on Gaia if I'd get 10k...

Dapper Humorist

DecayingThorn
Sorith
FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

...Well you're parents much LOVE the fact they're spending 10k for you to do that...Hm...Hey, wonder if I did that on Gaia if I'd get 10k...
Actually I never went to collage. xd
Sorith
DecayingThorn
Sorith
FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

...Well you're parents much LOVE the fact they're spending 10k for you to do that...Hm...Hey, wonder if I did that on Gaia if I'd get 10k...
Actually I never went to collage. xd

SCREW EDUCATION I WANT MY 10K OF GOLD! Little gold and no Kill Locke outfit make DecayingThorn a dull boy...

Dapper Humorist

DecayingThorn
Sorith
DecayingThorn
Sorith
FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

...Well you're parents much LOVE the fact they're spending 10k for you to do that...Hm...Hey, wonder if I did that on Gaia if I'd get 10k...
Actually I never went to collage. xd

SCREW EDUCATION I WANT MY 10K OF GOLD! Little gold and no Kill Locke outfit make DecayingThorn a dull boy...
SCREW MONEY! You don't get it do you? I went to his collage and did that. Sad thing is...I got arrested for doing it.
That must have been one horny squirrel....

And the cure?! I don't know it, but I think I know where to find it. In Barton East, there is a patch of grass...
You follow?
And under this patch of grass, is a grasshopper. You must find out the secret password and give it to the grasshopper.
Following?
Once this grasshopper has recieved the password, he gives you a vanilla NOT CHOCOLATE cupcake. If the cupcake is chocolate, throw it and duck for cover. Anyways, once you recieve the vanilla cupcake, eat it.
Are you following me?
Then you'll get very small, tiny blue spot under your eye. Go to the Durem Reclamation Factory, and meet a green frog with blue spots, NOT RED! If this frog has red spots, I suggest you dive for cover. Anyways, if the frog has blue spots, show him your proof of being a member of the grasshopper society, AKA, the blue spot under your eye.
Yes, follow, yes?
This frog will give you a pink gun. Take this gun to Old Man Logan and have him give you about a million more. Then you must for an army and take out the pink squirrels with the pink guns.

Okay? That may be the only hope...
Sorith
DecayingThorn
Sorith
DecayingThorn
Sorith
FF Fana
Collage days? whee
Oh you know, just the usual running across the campus naked screaming, "I AM THE OTHER WHITE MEAT!"

...Well you're parents much LOVE the fact they're spending 10k for you to do that...Hm...Hey, wonder if I did that on Gaia if I'd get 10k...
Actually I never went to collage. xd

SCREW EDUCATION I WANT MY 10K OF GOLD! Little gold and no Kill Locke outfit make DecayingThorn a dull boy...
SCREW MONEY! You don't get it do you? I went to his collage and did that. Sad thing is...I got arrested for doing it.

Gee? Really? I can't imagine why...[/sarcastic]

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