Welcome to Barto-Mart, We Love You. (O/A/Walk-In/Waffles)

[BlackWind1.1]

Dennis smirked when Radix spoke of acquiring some more items down by the sports section. It would seem as though his work would never be done. That's Black Friday for ya. "Kill two birds with one stone." As he was saying this, the employee brought his hands to the strings that secured his apron, tightening them even more so. He needed some sort of mobility, but he knew that if his getup was compromised, he'd hear it from the management. That's the last thing he needed today. "Just be ready for a long run. This section is pretty massive."

Looking at the sprawl of real estate, Fabrics was something different. It was one of the neatest areas in the store; there wasn't much you could do with yards of cloth. Not only that, but it would seem that the section's keeper, Angela, did not care less. No wonder it could look rather plain, though this did have an advantage. Looking higher up, there was the cargo transit system from above. A series of tracks that held suspended freight from above. Yeah, this place was huge. The only problem was the reach. Both Dennis and Radix would have to reach higher ground before even attempting to catch a ride. However, Denny knew that all ends of that highway were to the stock room. It was a sure shot.

"Alright, first let's g-" That train of thought he had went off track when he saw the disguise that Radix made up. The look he had was a mixture of confusion, ridicule and a bit of amazement. So much for being the only sane one left. "...Right." With that, he would start his run down the fabrics department.

For a while, he would dodge random failed flyers, be tangled up by certain cloth draped from above, all the way until he saw one way to get up: a shelf of rolled fabrics that were laid out like a ladder. It'd be messy, but it was the sure way to move. "Here."

Meanwhile...

Lester arched his eyebrow at Angela, his grin as smug as ever. Of course she would take any offer from the kindness of his heart and twist it into something negative. She was the girl with the storm cloud over her head, no wonder she worked somewhere close to some material that could make rain coats. "Oh Angie, have you ever thought that my products were simply the best of the best? Feeding your body the proper amount of nutrients is important you know?" The apple did look like it would be the kind of fruit that would refresh any sort of soul by the bite. The honeycrisp was a unique creature, a hybrid of two apples that was complex as it was simple. Naturally, it'd have the sweetness of a red delicious but a sobering tartness from a granny smith. Thanks to Lester's obsession and connection of his product, it would've been refreshing on many levels. Hydrating, nourishing, and...almost obsessive. She almost had a point.

"You know what's wrong with you? You're like the rest of these meat eaters. You simply don't know how it feels to be healthy. That's probably why your serotonin deficient." Though his words were slightly condescending, he did have the apple still near her. Even the scent was nearly tempting, but was Angie one of those people?


Back at the Toys Station, the sounds of yelping animals reverberated through the aisles. The neckbeards had more than a couple of powers, they also had some toys as well. Not those overly embellished salon equipment they call weapons, these were a little bit bigger. But if only they knew how to fit these things.

The giant mecha was almost done, but the assembly was a bit off. Even the somewhat humanoid form had its upper half partially done, sans having an arm. Imagine trying to put on your leg like a shoe and a stocking. It was rather difficult.

"I think this is it." Red stated, inside the central control.

"You've tried this before, let me do it!" Pink yelled, already getting impatient. His mech was still the other leg to be mounted so he was still in his suit. "We need to hurry, that android is getting away!"

"Relax, Pinky. She won't go far. Besides, she sticks out like a sore thumb." Green declared, onboard with Red.

"Yeah, Pink. Calm down. I have this, okay?" The zord picked the other leg with no pilot and slowly pushed it towards one metal nub. The fit was obviously wrong, not only did it not connect, but the action pushed another scream from the automatomic animal. It was almost enough to catch some attention, but you had people still fighting over smartphones. So, it had to wait.

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela, Radix
Feeling: What is he doing?!

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[notmuch_23]

BlackWind1.1

Angela Beherent
Fabric desk

'Now why the hell would I wanna be healthy? To live longer? Life already sucks disgusting balls, so why would I wanna experience more of it?" Angie asks Lester, acutely aware of the smell of the apple, but still not taking it, "I don't even think I was born with serotonin receptors anyways."

That, and Angie actually enjoys being in a sour mood; she isn't content unless she's miserable, and she isn't content being happy.

[BlackWind1.1]

For most, dealing with Angela's constant pessismism would repel those away from her. Lester had a thought that for a while, it was a tactic to push those away from her, seeing she chose the one section with the least amount of action to settle in. But over the times they've met, it was clear to see that she was the type of person to not have low self-esteem, but rather low esteem for others. If Lester would give one thing to Angie, it was that she was consistent.

It seemed useless to push the idea of the apple further, so instead, the vine would open enough for it to ingest it inside its own gullet. The growth would smack its lips after making a triumphant gulp. Its skin began to emit light from its translucent patches, her loss.

"You know, I think they installed one of those suicide booths down by the electronics section. Maybe you can try it out for yourself?" Lester chuckled to himself more than anything. Of course she wouldn't give it a shot, she hated life, but there was a something that kept her in it. As with most creatures in this infested rock.

But as they were talking, there was a small rumbling drawing near. One that came form a source that was rather huge. If only the pattern was not as sporadic. Customers were kicked from all angles, even a couple non flying patrons met their way towards the Fabrics department. In the midst of the conversation, one had the honor of landing head first into Angie's desk.

"....My head." It would mutter before the rest of his words devolved into a series of gurgles.

The crew needed no real introduction. Any 90s baby would see the resemblance, but it wasn't as pathetic as this sight. This excuse of a zord had the stride of a girl walking in heels for the first time. Knees inverted, balance compromised, the occasional jolt of gravity pulling it towards the ground.

"Guys, we need to focus!" Red's harried voice would be heard from some intercom in the zord.

"I still think you put the legs on the wrong way!" Pink stammered.

"Put one foot right in the other!" Green was more singing than anything, almost like it was a Christmas carol.

Yes, just like the pilots, this giant mechanized being was pretty colorful. Before the assembly, the zords looked like a couple of reject concepts from Beast Wars. Now, they were a combination of Voltron meeting a bad tiki pole design. It was kind of a mess. But what mattered more was the fact that this zord was arriving towards the Fabrics department. The arrival wasn't the cleanest, with the footprints of multi-colored blood and the bit of patronage in between the zord's "toes". It stopped right next to one end of Fabrics, steppin on one of Lester's vines in the process.

The Produce guy responded, immediately, yelping with an embarrassing octave. "YIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAH!!" The vine lurched by the pain, whipping about helplessly, its lights from within glowing even brighter than ever.

The zord on the other hand would not give this any mind. Perhaps the glasses on some of the rangers were out of wack. Unfortunately, their voices worked perfectly.

"H-Hello..." Pink would start talking. Oh God, they had to be social of all things. But for a while, all that was heard was some strange, mouth breathing.

"Pink? ...Are you okay?" Green would ask.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I...I just need to breathe."

"Anyway." Red decided to take the reins. "We are looking for an anime android. Green hair, trucker hat. Very realistic. Have you seen her?"

Lester was more contorting his body in pain than anything else. He was feeling all sorts of discomforting shooting everywhere in his body. His face was even worse as it morphed into caricature expressions. This was not good. "I....FRRRAAHHH....HEENNNN.....GAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela
Feeling: Maybe you can- WHAT THE ******** IS THA....AAAAAAAAH!!

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[notmuch_23]

BlackWind1.1

Angela Beherent
Fabric desk

"Yeah, I think she's in the sock you furiously grease your pole with every night," Angie tells the nerdlinger, "Go check the infant boy's section; there might be a sock small enough for your wang there."

Current medical advise says to pour warm water onto a sick burn like that.

[BlackWind1.1]

"Well, that's not a nice lady." Pink would murur.

"But she's so pretty. She doesn't look like she aged a day." Green sighed out of his gob.

It was actually an occasional statement that out of all of the harried and stressed out individuals in this store, Angie looked the youngest. Even if she was in her thirties. Some thought she had some massive assortment of beauty products, some even thought it was a tremendous diet. However, there was one theory that would probably pan out as the most accurate. It was all about facial relaxation.

You see, some people laugh, cry, become frustrated, pulling and contorting their skin to look like blinds and draped curtains. After all that mess, you'd see people with faces that look stretched, too long for the head. Angie on the other hand, was incredibly indifferent. Being bitchy only needed the mouth, and she didn't even need to be expressive.

The zord was a bit bashful at this rate. It's shifted to touch each other, hands in front of its mouth, nervous fingertips tapping one another. It would seem that this search would be harder than they thought.

Lester on the other hand, was strictly confused. He was here for a while, and thanks to the mouthy bunch of both employees and neighbors, the guy had a decent idea of what was in stock. Never had he heard of an anime android. Hell, he even knew of the real time Power Rangers replica, the one that these basement dwellers obviously used. Surely they were talking about something else. Or...or was it someone?

Then, memories started to reel back from only moments ago. That girl, the girl that was running with Dennis because... Yeah, that had to be it. It's amazing that some people were so lost, they could mistaken a real living woman for some automoton. That was like thinking a wax fruit was a real thing, and that was sickening for the produce worker. Maybe he could clear this us, but first, Lester had to make sure. He wanted to talk to these guys face to face, so he had to gain some higher ground. But first, there was still one teeny tiny problem. They were still stepping on his vine. "AAHHHHHHHHHH!" He was yelling on the top of his lungs at this point. The pain was too much for him, so he had to do the one plausible thing. Bite the leg off. Lester slipped off his vine, staring at the snared growth intently. The bucking vine would stop for a moment, only for its actions to grow sharper. At first, Lester was going to force it to rip itself apart but the more the vine moved, the more it was able to lift from the zord's grip. But as a consequence, the leg from the mechanized being was lifted off the ground, the balance compromised. Just like a sweeping the crutches away from a cripple, its fall was biased and just as awkward. It fell on its side, a sound similar to crushed watermelons was heard from below. Some customers must've been too late or blind to see the metric tons of metal and magic on a crash course to the ground. Dust hopped from the ground, winged guests would fly around the zord with frustration immediately stricken in their faces.

Lester was angry, looking at its vine in disgust. It wasn't its/his fault, but it just looked terrible. Its shape was deformed, skin broken as it seeped water from its wounds. It would take a while for this to heal, but at least it can still move. The vine slinked towards Lester slowly, like a dog with a broken leg, it was almost like a limp if anything. But, he would still board this growth, raising off the ground and slithering towards the zord's face.

"Ow..." Red muttered.

"Is everyone alright?" Pink asked both of his teammates?

"Yep! You know, I like my uniform." Green smiled, tapping his shoulder guards triumphantly.

The zord rubbed its head, as if it hit its head and trying to soothe the impact. You can rub a wound if you feel like it, but you can't fix a dent. Lester finally stopped between the mecha's eyes with a scowl. He set his hand towards his head for support as he tilted his noggin. "Let's see if I get this right. Are you guys talking about a green haired girl with a trucker hat and an infectious cheery mood?"

The mecha would sit up immediately, with hands close to it chest. "Yes! Yes, that's her!" Red exclaimed.

Lester looked from above, already annoyed with the glint in the eyes of these neckbeards. He would start to lie back, with the vine arching like a lounge chair. As soon as he made contact, Lester sighed. "You do realize that's a girl, right?"

"Well, yeah. A female model." Pink replied.

These guys were pretty slow. "No, I mean a female person. With hair, pores, emotions, everything that would make a woman a woman."

"Wait." Green interjected. "Are you saying that...she's anatomically correct?!"

The zord would be quiet for a moment, but then the contemplating snickers from the rangers would surface like a creeper sneaking from behind. How convenient.

Lester only shook his head. Were these guys even listening?

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela
Feeling: Trying to knock some sense into you.

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[Minerva_Mortis]

Leaving Fabrics! Now!
Status: Bail!!!

Snapping out of the longest daze of her life, Radix came around to the sound of Lester addressing the mechazoid-thingy. Blinking hard a few times she looked to Dennis and then back to the power enhanced geeks, that was something she'd not been expecting. It was now or never, maybe she was better off making for the exit? In any case she'd follow the vested one anywhere if it meant she could get away intact.

((I am so very sorry for being afk so long. My landlord has been messing with my net. ))

[BlackWind1.1]

"It looks like they haven't seen you yet. Maybe that getup actually worked." A lilt gave some sort of humanity to Dennis's monotone. With Lester talking to the zord, they had some time to make way for the stock room. They would have to do it quicker now, since they just found out that Radix was, ahem, woman all over.

"We have to climb up these. It'll give us some higher ground." That, and a route that was not in the clutches of the zord's feet. Hearing that collective squeal and squish from that squeeze was not pleasant in the slightest. Dennis preferred being his normal, self. Not a mass of minced flesh. Dennis would take one side, trying his hardest not to be a victim to the loose nature of these "steps". Sure, he stumbled a couple of times, and it took a while. After a couple of huffs, there he was. On top of the shelf and waiting for Radix to follow suit. What he saw in front of him was the typical rush. The customers scattered since seeing the zord, so the aisle that would normally filled to the brim had some pockets to see the disorder they left in their wake. This would cause Dennis to shake his head, placing his palm on his face rather hard. Black Friday be damned.

But he had to focus, start his search for the best path towards the stock room. The roars from the rolling cargo caused him to look up to see his goal at hand. But it seemed so far, and judging by some of the flying, prying customers that were zapped down, dangerous. A fail-safe for people that tried to play that type of game for this day. There had to be a way for them to use that safely, but how...?

Right when he was looking around once more, Dennis saw a decent start from the trek. A series of aisle that were close to them and had gaps narrow enough to be cleared. "We can start over there, just be sure to- Duck!"

Dennis was one to heed his own advice, as a premium brand couch was tossed towards them, almost instantaneously. Okay, now he was annoyed, "Seriously, what the-"

"See that? Now we both can't have it." A cyclops shouted triumphantly, right in front of an incubus that simply rolled his eyes.

"Are you happy now? You tossed a perfectly good piece of furniture. One, I might add, that was too small for you." That was going to be the incubus' final piece of his bachelor pad. It had cup holders and a station for remote controls. Who wouldn't want that?

"That was for my sis- did you just call me fat?" The cyclops snapped his head towards the demon, snarling at the 'snide' comment.

"Well, if it's for your sister then it'd be fine...regarding the fact that she wasn't as large as you." The incubus merely gave something similiar to a Kanye shrug. His tone did have a tiny bit of condescension, but he was upset. Now the guy would have to stand up to watch a movie. Who wants to do that?

Dennis looked at Radix with a bit of warning, "Seems like we're going to have a bit of trouble while crossing these aisles. You up for this?"

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela from afar, Radix
Feeling: ******** Black Friday...

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[notmuch_23]

BlackWind1.1

Angela Beherent
Fabric desk

Angela doesn't even bother to say another word. Instead she opens the drawer of the desk, takes out the wire cutters she uses to free the bundles of home decor fabric, comes out from behind the desk, nips, then tears open one of the rubber joint boots of the zord that she can reach, and starts clipping any wire and/or hose she can reach, taking a spray of hydraulic oil in the process. If the neckbeards want to fight, she's got a sharp pair of scissors, and isn't afraid to use them, as any other employee here knows.

[BlackWind1.1]

"Uh, boss?" Pink tapped Red's shoulder.

The crimson ranger snapped his head towards the pink guy asking what was going on. The subordinate redirected Red's attention to the notice about certain functions beomcing compromised out of nowhere. "Huh?" Confused, the ranger would deploy one feature from this massive zord, a small bot with a camera for a head as it slipped out of the mecha's ear. Like a spider, the tiny little tracker made its trek all the way down. All the way until it found the culprit at hand. It was as passive as it can look, a woman with scissors snipping away at some cables. Minor damage at most, yet the spring of oil almost made the bot jump back. At least it was a bit startled, as if it shared the pain from its giant father. Nevertheless, the arachnoid went on, its pace faster than before. When it reached the top of the foot, it would leap on the desk, a small thud would alert anyone of its presence.

It even made Lester look back. The vine curled towards the small encounter; the produce employee was surprised. Just what was that thing?

The bot's neck, enlongated, moved its lens around the woman. Almost like a curious puppy, wondering what it was doing, why, even?

"That...." At this point, Red didn't need the helmet to hide his true colors. He was infuriated. Even Green looked at the leader with a bit of shock. But, the leader didn't waste time, he grabbed the controls and made his move.

"Just what on earth is sh-" Before Lester could finished a thought, he was knocked back towards the ground. The zord swung its legs towards his chest; leaving a trail of destroyed lights, hapless sparks and rattled cargo not exactly comfortable with its instabillity.

This was a sight that most could see, even Dennis. The crates from above were rocking quite violently. Signs like this screamed doom. "This isn't good." He looked at Radix, if there was a time to move, it would be now, "That's our cue, go!"

With that, Dennis hopped towards the first shelf, running impressively fast. Even for himself, the guy could not believe his pace. But then again, if you have the fear of death looming from above in teh shape of tons of beans and rice, anyone would become a superhuman quite quickly.

Good thing, Dennis moved, because while he was in the air, you heard thunderous quake dangerously close by. The zord was on its feet, yet still low. Now, the mecha monster was staring eye to eye with the Fabrics woman. It probably a strange sight, a zord, propped up like the Sphinx, the store rumbling under the tectonic shifts as it was glaring at an employee that possibly had idgaf tattooed on her lip somewhere.

Red, was still not amused, "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?!"

Green, now startled, was just there, staring at the self-proclaimed leader. Though Angie merely snipped a couple of cables here and there, she might have touched a real nerve. Sure, red was not the looker. Hell, he had a rainbow beard of all things. But the brony had a goal, and for once in his life, he wanted this to happen. If there was one worker that hated life in his way, then she would have to go.

Still, Green did not want to be near someone this inflammatory. It brought back too many days from his message board times. "Red, calm down."

"Yeah, man. It's only cables. We can fix this." Pink interjected.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT."

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela from afar, Radix
Feeling: Not good, go, run!

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[Minerva_Mortis]

Leaving Fabrics! Now!
Status: Bail!!!

Making her way up the shelving after Dennis she found it immensely difficult to keep her balance on the way up, nevermind once reaching the top. Minimal snags kept her from racing up the scaffolding.

Thankfully she had managed to dodge the flying couch, but the sight of the incubus and cyclops in the lane next to them was about the hundredth striking reminder that this was not a typical store and that things could get dangerous. This did not dampen her spirit, at least until she saw the display behind them, her eyes near popped from her skull. She didn't need to be told twice, Radix hauled a** after Dennis, the ghille suit of scrap fabrics slowly falling apart, raining bits of fabric onto those in the ailes below.

[notmuch_23]

Angela Beherent
Fabric desk

BlackWind1.1

"I think it's just as funny as rape," Angie tells Red. Of ocurse, she isn't stupid. Once the neckbeards started describing the "anime robot", and then the reactions when they thought it had certain special features.

"Of all the ********' assholes that purposely ******** up my little section of this store, y'all have got to be the most annoying!"

Angie then takes the wire cutters in an overhand grip, with the cutting end pointing out, cocks back her arm, and slams them into the zoid's visor. Does Angela have a death wish, or is she just crazy? Well, both, and she's releasing all the pent up frustration at all of the exceptionally horrible customers she's had to deal with over the years.

[BlackWind1.1]

The stab left much more than some cosmetic damage. As soon as the display on central command succumbed to the bit of wire cutters, Red jumped back. His eyes were widened, mouth agape. "Wh-what..."

His inflection did not suggest fear. Far from it, more of disbelief than anything. Though they only knew each other in a matter of minutes, Pink felt as if something was off. Green was looking at this woman with an arched eyebrow. It almost looked as if she was acting out in some sort of way. But, truth be told, the 'football star' had no idea why she was acting like this. He tuned out, thinking about how accurate this android must have been.

Pink turned to Red, patting the guy on the shoulder, "You know what? I bet they have androids like that online. We can look it up! Yeah, just go and find someone like that green haire-"

"THAT'S IT!" Red clutched the controls of the zord, snatching Angie with her desk in its hand. Normally, Red was not anywhere near this aggressive in his life. He was the typical basement dweller, only going out to take out the trash for his mother. But this woman, this disgruntled employee was testing him, his mettle as a man. But more importantly, as a ranger. Yeah, he was the type that LARPed, so what? Now the zord stood upright, looking at the little storm cloud on its palm. "I could crush you in an instant! But, lucky for you, I believe in the greater good and the American way-"

When Green finally looked up at the display, there was one part of the image framed beautifully. It revealed a woman shedding fabrics off. She was looking familiar, "Look!" Green jolted up, pointing at the sight of Radix.

Lester spat as he struggled to look upright. He was in pain, but it was nothing that he cuoldn't heal. Just take some more apples than a doctor would recommend. At this point, the produce guy was properly annoyed with these neckbeards. Now, they have Angela, who seemed to lash out to the wrong person. "Goddamit...."

Meanwhile, Dennis was hopping from top to top. It was as if he had some sort of practice with this before. Just don't ask him about how he learned this method. It's pretty hardcore. The incubus was taunting the cyclops again at this point, now, the one eyed monster was angry. The result was a little tussle that had them knock over some shelves in one another. One by one, the wave of impact was rushing towards Radix's end.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT."

Location: Fabrics
With: Angela from afar, Radix
Feeling: Why can't we just have a nice Friday?

Minerva Mortis

notmuch_23

[Minerva_Mortis]

No idea
Status: I'm free! Free fallin! ~

And she didn't even see it coming... The girl was too distracted now with her disintergrating mishmash of a ghile suit, pieces of it hanging over the brim of her trucker hat and slapping at her face and eyes as she'd continued to bound headlong across the shelving. It took her a few seconds to realize she'd run out of solid ground, her legs continued to motor in the air as if expecting there to be an invisible barrier to run on like in cartoons. But nope. Down she went, too startled to even let out a cry of panic.

The air rushing past her roared in her ears along with the flapping of what little fabric remained attached to her overalls. Her eyes watered as the wind stung them, blurring the sight of the quickly advancing ground and those rushing along below in the daze of Black Friday madness.

It was with a loud wet splat that she finally came to a sudden stop, smack dab on top of a block of blue-ish green jelly that stank of cultured cheese, like Gorgonzola or eremite blue, or Parmesan, one of those stinky foot funks at any rate. The blob in question was wiggling about madly from the impact of Radix's crash landing, vibrating and bumping into random shoppers, sending displays askew and the like.

For a moment the girl just lay on the gelatinous blob, eyes open wide in shock at the fact she was not dead. She couldn't stay long though, a sinking feeling had set in that wasn't entirely a figure of speech. With some struggle Radix pulled herself from the mass of ooze, glancing over her shoulder at the indentation she'd made, it was getting deeper by the second and a look downward into the blob made her move all the quicker. A couple skeletons were scattered about within the living jelly that had broken her fall, she did not want to join them.

Heading down the nearest lane she took pause to catch her breath, having it literally slammed from her lungs.

[notmuch_23]

BlackWind1.1

Angela Beherent
in a Zord hand

Of course, the fabric desk is much larger than Angie, which gives her enough space to wiggle out of the Zord's grip, onto its arm, and she starts to make her way up to the Zord's chestplate, where she assumes the neckbeards are.

"I've had it with you ********]