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Funniest s**t I've received in ages. (bottom of the first page)

Yep, that's funny 0.26771653543307 26.8% [ 34 ]
Whoa, serious? 0.14173228346457 14.2% [ 18 ]
Some people are so stupid 0.36220472440945 36.2% [ 46 ]
Poll whore option 0.22834645669291 22.8% [ 29 ]
Total Votes:[ 127 ]
Gathozar the 3rd
Claire the Vampire Demon
Walks through the door as if he owned the place, a smirk on his face as he looked around. Sneering he looked at Jessie. "Pitiful. You need to rethink your location little b***h. Why you always choose the mountains is beyond me. Then again your choice on most things is pitiful. Must come from your mother's side." Walking over to one of the couches he perched on the arm of it. "You'd think that someone with your talent and background could do better, but you're too soft. You pander to humans as if they were something special instead of the beasts that they are."

An obvious non-human, his personality probably that of a night-creature. Most likely vampiric. "You can't speak that way to a woman." He grinned, a battle and a drink were first on his list for things he wanted. "Perhaps you would gain some respect if I tore your limbs asunder?" He placed a hand on the coffin strapped firmly to his back.

Sneers. "For that one, never. Not after what she's done." Looks you over slowly then snorts. "You don't seem the white knight type for a b***h like her so stay out of it."
*walks in*may i have a job as a chef
Jessie Ann James's avatar

Questionable Genius

bankotsu627
*walks in*may i have a job as a chef
-Raises an eyebrow as she looks over, a small smile tugging at her lips- That depends on just what you think the job entails.
Jessie Ann James
Claire the Vampire Demon
Smirks, knowing that he hit a nerve. "Want, what makes you think I would want anything from a b***h mutt like yourself? Anything you can do I can top any day of the week." Fingers his staff with irritation.
Because you're just like your father. You never stir yourself unless something's on your mind. Spill it and leave before I see how elastic your guts are.

Smirks as he puts his feet up on the seat of the couch. "For a change you might be right. I do want something. Besides you dead that is." Pulling an envelope from one of the pockets inside of his suit he flipped it to you, the smirk on his face never changing.
nevermind im outta here *walks near the door*
Jessie Ann James's avatar

Questionable Genius

Claire the Vampire Demon
Smirks as he puts his feet up on the seat of the couch. "For a change you might be right. I do want something. Besides you dead that is." Pulling an envelope from one of the pockets inside of his suit he flipped it to you, the smirk on his face never changing.

-Growling softly she snatched the envelope from the air and opened it, her curiosity getting the better of her-
Claire the Vampire Demon
Sneers. "For that one, never. Not after what she's done." Looks you over slowly then snorts. "You don't seem the white knight type for a b***h like her so stay out of it."

Appearances are rarely wat they seem... However, he was correct in his lack of anything like such. He was dead wrong though, in thinking he would step aside. "Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly." His fingers coiled around a black lever nerr the base of his coffin. "Watch your language, and watch yolur back while you're at it." He let go of the lever. A egotistical fool like him would not require it. "Leave now, before you meet an untimely end."
Jessie Ann James's avatar

Questionable Genius

bankotsu627
nevermind im outta here *walks near the door*

-Nods quietly, her ears twitching lightly.- As you wish sir. Have a nice day.
Kommora trudges along in yet another unknown woodsy environment. It seemed just the other day he ended up in this odd world, where uncommon things like magicians and elves seemed to be the ordinary. He grabbed the bill of his oversized hat, a hand-me-down, no less. His blue eyes caught sight of a building in the distance and he could hardly contain his joy. After all, he was at least a good fourty pounds overweight and he had been walking for miles! While that may be considered healthy and it gave him a bit of a much needed workout, his unfit body could barely carry him any longer. Summoning the last of his strength, he jogged on over to the entrance, (running actually, although his speed is so slow it looks like he's jogging) his round belly bouncing up and out of his T-shirt. He finally made it, panting heavily as he placed a hand on the doorknob. His aching legs gave and he fell to his knees right as he started to push the door open. Because of this, everyone's first sight of Kommora would be a young, chubby, sweaty boy on bended knee as he pathetically gasps for air.

"Wh-Who they hell....built a.....house all the way......in the woods?!" He said between breathes right as he collapsed by the doorway.
Jessie Ann James
Claire the Vampire Demon
Smirks as he puts his feet up on the seat of the couch. "For a change you might be right. I do want something. Besides you dead that is." Pulling an envelope from one of the pockets inside of his suit he flipped it to you, the smirk on his face never changing.

-Growling softly she snatched the envelope from the air and opened it, her curiosity getting the better of her-

A small black snake seemed to slither out and wrap around your arm as you opened it, Natasha's eyes holding contempt at the fact that you were so open to such things. "You're a fool now and always. How you could be his daughter I'll never know." The snake disappeared as a picture and a sheet of paper could be seen in the envelope. The paper containing instructions on what to do with the person in the picture, including her name and current whereabouts.
Jessie Ann James's avatar

Questionable Genius

Kommora
Kommora trudges along in yet another unknown woodsy environment. It seemed just the other day he ended up in this odd world, where uncommon things like magicians and elfs seemed to be the ordinary. He grabbed the bill of his oversized hat, a hand-me-down, no less. His blue eyes caught sight of a building in the distance and he could hardly contain his joy. After all, he was at least a good fourty pounds overweight and he had been walking for miles! While that may be considered healthy and it gave him a bit of a much needed workout, his unfit body could barely carry him any longer. Summoning the last of his strength, he jogged on over to the entrance, (running actually, although his speed is so slow it looks like he's jogging) his round belly bouncing up and out of his T-shirt. He finally made it, panting heavily as he placed a hand on the doorknob. His aching legs gave and he fell to his knees right as he started to push the door open. Because of this, everyone's first sight of Kommora would be a young, chubby, sweaty boy on bended knee as he pathetically gasps for air.

"Wh-Who they hell....built a.....house all the way......in the woods?!" He said between breathes right as he collapsed by the doorway.

-Chuckling softly she walked over and helped you up, slipping under your arm to help you to one of the couches, her ears twitching lightly- I happen to like the woods. It's much quieter then being in the middle of some community somewhere.
Gathozar the 3rd
Claire the Vampire Demon
Sneers. "For that one, never. Not after what she's done." Looks you over slowly then snorts. "You don't seem the white knight type for a b***h like her so stay out of it."

Appearances are rarely wat they seem... However, he was correct in his lack of anything like such. He was dead wrong though, in thinking he would step aside. "Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly." His fingers coiled around a black lever nerr the base of his coffin. "Watch your language, and watch yolur back while you're at it." He let go of the lever. A egotistical fool like him would not require it. "Leave now, before you meet an untimely end."

Smirks. "Others have tried and I'm still here and still who I am. Don't push me child or I'll level this place. The b***h is the only one that can get me to leave, and only that by accepting."
He still didn't like this guy, not at all. He looked over to the other entrant, he seemed a bit more calm than excitable Nat over there. "God damnit..." Letting out hushed curses, knowing he would have to stay until he was certain that nothing explosive would come to pass.
Jessie Ann James's avatar

Questionable Genius

Claire the Vampire Demon
A small black snake seemed to slither out and wrap around your arm as you opened it, Natasha's eyes holding contempt at the fact that you were so open to such things. "You're a fool now and always. How you could be his daughter I'll never know." The snake disappeared as a picture and a sheet of paper could be seen in the envelope. The paper containing instructions on what to do with the person in the picture, including her name and current whereabouts.

I'm not in that business anymore Nat. You want someone to hunt her down then you'll have to find someone else to do it. -The paper and picture suddenly bursting into flames-

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