Sets down a giant ten foot by ten by ten foot vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and every other flavor known to man cake right in the middle of the bar floor. Nine candles are placed atop the cake, each burning with the flames of a thousand suns. A single, manly, tear drops from his left eye. "Happy birthday you ol' bean... Nine years, and we still keep going..." He raises his hand to his forehead in a salute to the bar.
*Still stumbling on his own vomit Jo lands on some shards of glass but makes his way towards the center of the room. Leaving a hot mess in his wake, Jo reaches the center of the room and digs his head in a nice corner of the cake, nomming while still shaking from his recent imaginary visit.*
You'd think with this being a 9 year anniversary and all...
You'd get us a 9 x 9 x9 foot cake. Just sayin?
*The heat from the candles singe his hair and pretty sure are starting the early phases of melanoma. He'll just have Leena fix that for him later, she totally owes him a favor or two*
Deep in the inner shadows of Some Run Down Bar...there be a ragged dwelling made from frayed and rotting rope. Around this small area, a stench of booze, salt, and the dried blood of clowns hangs in the air like a lingering spirit of the past. In the heart of it all lies a slumbering titan of the establishment. Like an ancient relic, she slumbers under a shroud of cobwebs. Her comatose state brought upon drinking binges---binges so saturated with alcohol, few men have ever survived matching her drink.
One of these men, her dear first mate, Josir--also, the bartender of this very establishment--had just finished a mouthful of cake. Bazillions of cake molecules flutter from his mouth and begin to populate the air as he speaks. Cake smell. Sweet, delicious cake smell...with a tinge of booze burps.
Within minutes, these tiny molecules are carried over to the corsair's corner by the cool drafts that circulate through the run down bar and eventually enter through unsuspecting nostrils. A nose wriggles as it is being invaded by cake&boozeburp smells. A spider resting on a rosey cheek is startled by the trembling flesh under it's tiny feeties and flees to the safety of the floorboards below.
Eyelashes flutter. Toes wiggle. A loud yawn escapes. Lady Kai has been awakened.
The blanket of cobwebs and grime cascades down her bodice as she sits up and lifts her limbs in a nice little stretch. Slightly bewildered, she wipes the "sleepy dirt" from the corners of her eyes. Usually the gnomes mine the eye goo...for reasons...but for some blasted reason they weren't doing their job. She will have to get to the bottom of this---but first! Cake!---but also booze.
Smacking her lips she rolls out of her hammock and her boots fall to the floor. Her hips sway back and fourth as she strolls over to the large cake radiating unhealthy levels of ultraviolet light in the middle of the bar, not because she is aware of her feminine wiles...but rather, the lack of moving in the last weeks...no...months...wait! YEARS...begad. It's actually been years since she has had the pleasure of full consciousness within these doors. There was the small time she haunted an old sultry inn from her past a few months ago...however, she'd rather not remember that.
Her lovely visage is illuminated by the face-melting glimmer of the nine candles. Any normal bystander would have an experience similar to that rather rude Nazi gentleman who refused to shut his eyes during the opening of the Ark of the Covenant as shown in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but the years of alcohol consumption and extreme hibernation has perfectly preserved her skin----in the way over priced cosmetic products claim to do and not in the bog-mummy shrinky dink skin way...because god mode.
She digs her dainty fingers into the side of chocolate cake parts and rips away a sizable morsel. With an uncharacteristic pretty smile, she dips the hunk of cake gingerly into Jo's bree and om nom noms the bree-soaked cake bits as if she were having tea and biscuits. "Aye, Congratulations on nine voyages o' yer existence, m'dear pub. Ye ne'er fail ter melt me blackened heart o' ice 'till it's been all...warm..and bloodeh rainbows."
With that, she helps herself to her own pint of whiskey and raises it to her mouth in Cheers!
*Inexplicably Jo lets out a wail of pain and falls to the floor holding his head to try to make sense of ...he's not sure! He coughs up a few chunks of vomit and stirs about, kicking his legs ou-another horrible wail of pain*
*The bar starts to vibrate and a few glasses fall off the shelves and shatter. Finally the pain recedes for a second and a voice appears out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time*
Zeros Panda Man
*sneaks in through Joasis' imagination*
Holy mothballs...this place is still going...
*Jo wipes his face with his sleeve, creating a fine mixing saliva, tears, beads of cold sweat and blood from his nose all along his wrist. He turns to The Panda Man,greeting him as his eye twitches.*
o hai brah~
Want a bree or something?
Yeah actually! it'd go great with this cake. By the way, it's gotten pretty cramped up in your imagination. Cant fit much in there.
*he nods and dusts himself off, heading toward the cake and nomming at a peice
I noticed, I'm here to rectify that. I'm going to catch this gnome criminal.
*Jo gets out a juice box with a happy pineapple on the label. Although it can be certain that the pineapple itself wasn't too happy to be turned into juice, the juice itself is likely to make its drinker rather happy.*
This one is on me, KinKin. Get my gnomlings back. cry...crying
Lulling from the velvet darkness, swelling, caressing a most dismal dirge would gradually linger forth. Bitter sweet at conception, such a faint cacophony would froth and spill further across the near empty establishment as it grows within intricate delicacies. As such a phenomenon perpetually matures, encompassing the host of its walled womb its nature would alter as it drinks both stagnated and infant memories from the objects littered about. Acting the conduit with he who sat at its birth the conductor of the infamous establishments own dreary symphony. Faint echoing whispers now harboring their chorus here and there, a phantom voice speechless to share the poignant memory of the object it represents.
The origin of such a unique gift to otherwise inanimate objects seated at what some might assume his favored or most frequented location by stance alone. Lavished within these seething silken shades of darkness painted across his seductive visage, dressed now in the semblance of some mercenary attempting elegance. Scarlet, crimson, blood hues folded over various shades of pitch, ebony, charcoal blacks his attire over pallor flesh. The accumulation of mischievous darkness emanated from his physical presence teasing the dark portion of his attire, as the malevolent scarlet, blood seemed only to compliment the sheer hypnotic quality of his ever faintly luminescent red iris's.
Content to lounge for the time being, the enigmatic guest continued to give the appearance of whistling as if such a simple act ushered forth the subliminal hushed roar whisper that was the soft litany of memories otherwise forgotten or forsaken. Both booted feet kicked up onto the table top one upon the other, arms previously crossed at his waist as one aims to dig through one pant pocket. Producing a single rolled narcotic vice, Leo would leisurely place it between his sensual lips as a long drag quickly brought a coal to ignite without need of flame. Beneath the notorious devil two lethargic spear tipped demonic appendages would sway lazily, each glinting their spaded end ominously in what bruised light managed through the Recondite darkness bathed about Leo's mirrored demeanor of relaxation.
Exhaling a thicket plume of miasma from his lungs, the shadows would react accordingly. Boiling away initially while curiously teasing the edges as the smoke takes on the semblance of a blossoming rose. Such a scene accentuated by the outline of sheer darkness gilded about each details hazy edges. Such a rose appearing now almost animate, lingering onward in front of the deity as another soon followed it. The second ruthlessly colliding with the first, sending both into an soundless explosion of splashing flecks of darkness soon melting back into the ebbing whole perpetually cascaded about his vicinity.
That's what the doughnut 'holes' are for. We eat the actual doughnuts. >//<
This is a very laid back set up. Not that strong roleplaying here isn't accepted. And greetings again, Leonardo. I for some reason forget your other names/actual name here. But, I do remember who you are, of course.