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Joasis's avatar

Ruthless Fatcat

Ping_Chan
::she smiled watching him stall and then downing her drink. She was not even partially concerned about her liability since she had forged her master guns signature. But it was adorable to her that he would even concern himself with the thought. She smiled and poured another drink.::
You think you can keep up?
::she smirked knowing full well that he couldn't but babysit the drink in front of him.::
Just a second, my dear.

*He makes a high pitched whistle and a little gnome wearing a monocle and fine pressed velvet hat comes running out from a hidden door by the juke box and stands at attention. Jo hands him a sealed envelope and gives a stern look that some might interpret as the evil eye or even a death glare. But, Jo simply considers it a contract of sorts that his paralegal associate is fully aware of. The gnome scurries back to his hidden location and the door slams shut behind him*

Now where were we? Ah yesss.... the drink. sweatdrop

*He downs the second glass, fully aware that she's just sizing him up. Again with the face of agony, again with the vile drink. Oh how he wishes death upon Meg for being cheap and not getting the good stuff*

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to take advantage of me. This stuff go-

*A hiccup rolls up from his belly and with it a second tasting of the dark water. His cheeks turns rosy and blinks again at her*

-goes straight to my head.
Joasis
.PinkyXVIII.
ninja


*Points at the towel JenJens mule*

I see wut you did there, I like. ninja heart

*He offers Pinky a swig of his swill*

That'll put some hair on yer shoulders. ;D
Golly, gee, Mister! Thanks! *takes a swig of the offered drink* blaugh I wasn`t a towel when I made the avi, but it was hard to resist the toking, munchy offering bar wench
Run Down Tentacle Monster
.PinkyXVIII.
ninja

*The fridge behind the bar rumbles loudly, shaking around. A tentacle pushes open the door and slithers, slowly, mischievously, over to Pinky. As it moves toward her it leaves a translucent, slimy, goo all over the route its traveling.*

Ssssss...
*feels something slimy, cold, and wet brush her leg* eek gonk
Jenna Tull's avatar

Tipsy Kitten

George the Domozilla
Jenyens
surprised

George awakens from his long, long slumber and shuffles over to Jen, his tongue extended and panting in excitement. He swings it forward giving her a long, and extended, lick that lifts her up off the ground and into the air. His wonderful sign of affection.
*gives the Domo a big hug upon landing on the ground* Domo, dude! You`ve like... grown, man, it`s crazy! Here, have a cupcake! *stuffs a delicious cupcake into the domo`s mouth* surprised
Cassandra Geminni
Zelo Omega
*He spots the gnome fleeing from the scene, enraged at this development he calls out.* TIGAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! TRANSFORM BEAST STRIKE! END THE LIVES OF THOSE WHO FALL PREY TO YOUR MIGHTY STRENGTH! scream

*A large rumble in heard from the roof, an ominous roar is heard coming down from the heavens, the sky darkens and lightening cracks down. The roof starts to shake, asbestos falling from the rafters, Owen Cornings Fiber Glass Insulation bolstering out from the two-by-fours as nails spring out.*

COME AND SHOW THEM ALL WHO THE REAL FEARSOME RULER IS! GOGOGOGOGOGO! scream

*He laughs maniacally, clearly having lost it more than usual. The roof tears open as it falls onto the ground, it's hideous, horrendous, it stands in front of Cassie with its eyes darted toward the gnome... It is a twelve foot long platypus, it snorts and charges past Cassie and toward the gnome*

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! VICTORY WILL BE MINE! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

*He then continues to pelt Cassie with bottles, how many does he have behind that bar...?* REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM! scream
* A platypus ran pass her and the forsaken creature went off to violate gnomes to its heart's content. Incidentally, the disgusting creature had a faint hint of lilacs about it that was quite pleasing to nose. The storm's power sent a surge of wind through the shattered bar, creating quite the sight to see. The shrieking maiden's wails in harmonic unison with unnatural nautical gales were enough to leave any would be passerby's with fewer braincells than they would have had they never seen the scene to begin with! Nevertheless, bouncing and shattering bree bottles, asbestos covered gnomes and flying tetanus wounds waiting to happen aside, the girl persisted in screaming.*

gonk ...

*First the noise, then the objects... and one final high pitched screech that shut everything down. Everything froze midair as most color drained from srdb into sepia, as if the Joads have returned to claim what was once theirs. There was no more fear, no more pain, only anger. And finally silence. . .*

. . .

*Cassy walked up to the zombie man and slapped his hand*

That hurt! Geeze! scream

*Cassy grabbed two bottles that managed to break off the floor and hands one to her assailant*

*He winces at the slap and lets out a slight yelp.* Sorry! gonk It was but a mere handshake, you know that! *He takes a swig of the bottle and immediately spits it out* WHAT IN THE WORLD?! How long has this been sitting here?! *He immediately checks the date on the bottle: September 9, 2003*

... Oh for the love of. gonk Here, hold this. *He thrusts the bottle forward into Cassy's free hand and walks behind the bar, eyeing Jo and the gunny he has never me...t... Be... For--- ... NEW CUSTOMER! His eyes light up, this is the PERFECT time to call in Benny.*

Oh what a mess, what a mess this bar is... Let's see, where's that button... Oy, Tentacle, STOP THAT! *He slaps the tentacle coming out from the fridge and steps over it. He makes his way toward the very end of the bar and reaches under it, his fingers fiddle with a small button before giving it a firm click.*

*The bar rattles and shakes, the debris from the mess vibrating as they slowly begin to float in the air and return to their original place before the disaster. The two-by-fours in the roof move in reverse and place themselves back into their initial position. Within a few minutes the bar returns to its old, original, splendor.* I love doing that... Now, let's see... I hope I still have his number... *Zelo lifts up the phone next to him and dials up a number*

Hey there Benny, Zelo. Yes, yeah it's been a long time. How's the family? Oh good, glad to hear that. I hope those Pigmy Elves haven't been giving you too much trouble. Oh yeah, things here have been good, a bit slow, but you know how that goes. Hey yeah, I need a delivery from you. The potency in the bree has gone stale after eight years and some odd months, would you be able to bring an entirely new shipment of everything? I'd like to restock the place with some new stuff. When could you get it here? Oh within a few minutes? Alright, sweet, thanks for that. See you then. I'll have George greet you and move some of the merchandise. Payment? Ah, you're running me ragged here man. Alright, go ahead and charge it to Kirk's account, he'll help you out with that. Great! Awesome. Cool, alright man, see you soon.

*He hangs up the phone with a grin and whistles out* GEORGE! Over to the shipping platform, we're awaiting a delivery. *He then turns to Kirk* KIRK! Stop pretending you're a cop and flirting with the patrons, no one wants to know about your sick fetishes. You're taking a charge to your account. Just figured I'd let you know.
Kirklando
Tarisu
Oh dear... But, but, Kirk-dear... Don't you remember that one night we shared together? emotion_kirakira Tarisu walks up closer to him, placing her left hand upon his cheek and lightly stroking it. You told me it was the best ever... The drinks, the laughs, the dinner... Surely you haven't forgotten... She pouts and leans up on her toes, her face getting closer to his own, looking directly into his eyes. That night when I allowed you to take what was so sacred to me... Surely you couldn't have forgotten, have you? Oh please tell me you haven't! She cries out, her eyes swelling and watering up, she thrusts her arms forward and wraps them around Kirk's neck, she digs her face into his shoulder. PLEASE TELL ME YOU REMEMBER! crying
*He grabs her wrists gently and brings them down*

I... I... not really. See, I was quite the drunk before. But you know the old cop cliche': exwife, a few years of binge drinking, some very dark nights I'm not proud of making
Kitsune~ videos for Joasis and Cariss' film company. . sweatdrop

*A locking sound is heard and Kirk has poor Tarisu in handcuffs. Ironically, distracting her with a story was something he learned from making those soft core films and not from the force.*

But I cleaned up my act. I pay my taxes, I don't drink, stopped slurrin' my ayes... found Lanzer. Go with Lanz, brah!

A look of shock comes across her face and she is put into the cuffs, she then looks down and grins. Oh Kirk-dear... Are you trying to say everything that we had was a li--- ... She then hears Zelo's call out to him and looks back up in excitement. WAIT! You're not a real cop? AND YOU HAVE MONEY?! OH BAAAAAABYYYYYYY~ She jumps up toward him hoping to be caught by him.
Jenyens
George the Domozilla
Jenyens
surprised

George awakens from his long, long slumber and shuffles over to Jen, his tongue extended and panting in excitement. He swings it forward giving her a long, and extended, lick that lifts her up off the ground and into the air. His wonderful sign of affection.
*gives the Domo a big hug upon landing on the ground* Domo, dude! You`ve like... grown, man, it`s crazy! Here, have a cupcake! *stuffs a delicious cupcake into the domo`s mouth* surprised

George nods excitedly and devours the cupcake, then lets out a loud belch. He then hears his name and orders. He shuffles over to the shipping area and awai --- Oh, not long, a loud beep is heard from outside as a truck backs into the large shipping doorway. George hurriedly uses his tongue to flip the switch which opens up the door and lowers its ramp into the truck.

Inside of the truck are boxes upon boxes upon boxes of fresh new booze, bree, food, goodies, and other various assortment of items that will just magically become reality as soon as the patrons create them, breaking the fourth wall, ftw. George extends his tongue forward and wraps it around all the boxes. He retracts his tongue, bringing them all forward and into the bar. He then turns to see Benny and welcomes him with a giant lick like the one he gave Jen. Benny nods and chuckles slightly, landing back on the ground. He walks over toward Zelo for final payment confirmation, who directs him to Kirk for signage.


"I need a signature here, here, here, and here. Initial here, here, and here please."

George takes care of all the clean up, lifting the ramp, closing the door, etc. Then pushes all the boxes over to Jen, asking if she would like to help stock up.
.PinkyXVIII.
Run Down Tentacle Monster
.PinkyXVIII.
ninja

*The fridge behind the bar rumbles loudly, shaking around. A tentacle pushes open the door and slithers, slowly, mischievously, over to Pinky. As it moves toward her it leaves a translucent, slimy, goo all over the route its traveling.*

Ssssss...
*feels something slimy, cold, and wet brush her leg* eek gonk

*Just as the tentacle was going to wrap itself around her leg it feels the smack from Zelo and backs off, slithering back into the fridge and waving a good-bye to Pinky. That sickening slime leaving its presence across the floor of the bar again.*
*Yawning, the witch rolls over and attempts to go back to sleep, that is until she feels the entire earth move beneath her. Jerking upwards, she bangs her head on the underside of the bar, coughing and hacking as dust and small bites of debris assault her nose and lungs*

Oy! *Rolling out from beneath the bar and onto her feet, she gives herself a vigorous shake to dispel the mountain of dust that had settled on her while she slept*

What goes on? *The purple haired woman asks as she surveys the bar and it's sudden burst of activity. Yawning and stretching, then scratching the back of her head she begins to wonder, how long had she been sleeping under there? *
Jenna Tull's avatar

Tipsy Kitten

Kirklando's avatar

Knight

Gatosa
ninja
YOU! eek
"Your mother."

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