Lotus’s mind was lost in Adrian’s words. For too long she had waited for this moment, and suddenly, her throat closed up. Silence crept around the room as the Russian considered her options. With every valid reason, Adrian had a right to be upset. After all, she had learned to deal with Adrian being gone and trying to carry out her normal everyday life. Adrian on the other hand, travelling with Shadow, especially had to learn to cope fast with being alone. Of course he had missed her when he was away, but he never had a chance to show it.
Lotus was in a bit of a bind, because she wasn’t sure how Adrian would take what she had to say. There was some rough hidden within that story. Her husband would be furious, and She didn’t need a manhunt to interrupt the more important things going on at home. But how could she tell him that it wasn’t his burden?
With a small sigh, a pale hand wriggled about franticly while she opened her mouth once more. ”I will tell you.” She said, laying back on their marital bed. ”But it’s not pretty. And you must remember that I made the choice, to leave, therefor the things that happened in here, you couldn’t have stopped. Because I didn’t want you to be there in the first place.” It sounded a bit rude, but Lotus couldn’t imagine another way to say it. If anyone was to blame for what happened to her, it was her. She knew well enough that Adrian would not fight her. He would not tell her what to do. Even if he had been at the Purple Moon when she received the news, she still wouldn’t have let him come. And he would have stayed. The situations would have happened anyway. ”You were gone anyway. It was just me and Ren, and the rest of your crazy family, as well as Krauly, Ari, and a few other people. I spent most of my time with Ren. She was the only one who wanted to talk to me anyway.” Lotus shrugged, having her own varied opinions on Adrian’s stepparents. Alexion showed up every once in a while…but he was…odd.”[/ b] Lotus didn’t want to get into that one. ”I waited. And waited. And waited. And then I ******** up. My dad died.” Lotus’s voice quivered slightly when she spoke. In truth, the knowledge that she had yet to accept the fact Valarian was gone. Lotus closed her eyes, trying to imagine what he would say, if he had been with her on her journey. ”There wasn’t a lot I could do after that. I had no way of contacting you, or Shadow. No one else knew either. I waited as long as I could,” The Russian had laid on the bed on her back, staring only at the celling. She wasn’t about to cry around him again. His own words had her questioning if she did really trust him. ” I’m a Princess. And the only one of the kids still alive. I had a duty to something else.”
It sounded selfish, but Lotus had not seen another option. ”I thought I would leave long enough to take care of the immediate stuff, burry my dad,” A tiny crack could be heard in the girls throat but she continued to speak past it. ”Sign some papers, Ren and I were not supposed to be gone long. But after a couple of days, I hadn’t heard from you, decided why not stay, another night, just because it’s my home.” She shrugged, trying to put off this being an emotional conversation. She was glad she couldn’t actually see Adrian.
”We got attacked, by angels, and lots of them. Us, and the three kingdoms around. Apparently, the four kingdoms were on holy ground, and it was an issue. I couldn’t leave my people, in the middle of that, my father would have been so disappointed. I thought it would be over quickly…” The red=head’s heart was beating much faster now. It worried her so much, curious as to whether or not Adrian could. ”We won. We fought for long time, even Ren learned how to defend herself. Girl is so scary with an arrow.” She paused, hoping to break up the story with a bit of humor. After this part, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could go.
”So. He two kings, other queen, and I had a meeting, in order to celebrate our victory. I remember hosting a toast, and then I remember waking up in a room, with no clothes on. I had bandages…” Biting her lip, she realized her voice had gotten much smaller, and more whispery. It wasn’t hard to tell where she could honestly say, she didn’t want to revisit. ”Here.” Her hands were suddenly in the air in front of her. Not long ago they were scared and ugly. ”All over. My body had been through an extreme type of sacrificial ritual, in which tiny slits are made,” By this time Lotus had forgotten Adrian was even there. She disconnected from the experience long ago, to avoid the sudden rush of pain coming back. ”On the front and back of the body. From toes, all the way up to shoulders. They cut straight line, to bone, then turn over, do again. And bandage it up to keep you alive. After all, an angel’s power is terrifying. Too much power in one body could only destroy them, unless of course you’re born with the race already.” But Lotus wasn’t. ” Lucas just so happened to decide, his soul would stay in my body, till he takes over, and rids all four kingdoms off the Angel land. It’s hard to explain, but it’s my home. As easy as it would be to just give up, I can’t. But he’s getting a lot stronger than I am Adrian, and I knew Ren wasn’t safe. In all the chaos, and with how quickly it happened, I couldn’t come back. Not yet. “
Lotus sat up, stretching her arms out above her head. She was oddly alright for everything constant attack she had been under. But she felt just awful reliving it every day of her life. Of course her husband could have helped her, had he himself not been away. But after that, It was all her anyway. She had changed. Killing things had that effect on one’s conscious. ”I never thought about how I’d die, Adrian. Not until I realized it might be before I see my little girl grow up, or see us married. But now that it’s so tangible, I realized I am going to die very violently, and you’re kinda the only thing that can keep me at peace. “ What a lousy attempt at a joke. But the thought caused Lotus’s skin to crawl. Sadly, every joke told the truth, at least a little bit. ”So here I am. I’m sorry.”
