Xya
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Thu, 04 Oct 2012 01:51:34 +0000
So, there were a couple things I found while browsing cheezbuger.com.
http://cheezburger.com/6629100544
http://cheezburger.com/42688513
As stated in the second link, October, (along with being another National Month that is pretty close to home, Breast Cancer Awareness Month), it has also been declared National Bully Awareness Month.
Bully Awareness is pretty important. After I saw these webpages, I felt compelled to share. In social websites, this is a big deal. There are some people that are not as secure as others in the qualities that make them who they are, and others who are out to make themselves feel better for their own insecurities exploit this.
For me, it made me stronger. I have had an eventful life so far and I have had awesome experiences I can selfishly say that no one will ever have.
For others, it can be a different story. Bullying has been an unfortunate factor in shaping what is socially acceptable. Being popular or feared is being strong, which is expressed by some as being negatively dominant and mean to others. This comes in the form of words and images. Even actions.
Alas, I didn't do any campaigning; I didn't do anything special- no rallies, no fundraisers, no inspiration tours. I didn't do campaigning for legislation to make laws or confront the school board. This was at a time when life was ruled by "Sticks and stones will break my bones". In a lackluster performance, I have just kept living my life, loving every moment of it.
I am not a success story like others might be, but in my own little way, I did win. I didn't let what these people did consume me.
For others, this is not possible- and that is down-right scary. Being bullied leads to depression and that leads to other unhappy circumstances. It can cause someone to be fearful of going to school or church, even going to work. It's not enjoyable and they feel trapped, unable to do anything because going to these places can be a necessary evil. Being a teenager is hard today because of the sheer desire to be better and accepted, and being an adult nowadays is just as difficult. We can blame society, the push to be better than anyone else, teachings from parents or entertainment media, or whatever other environmental factors.
Sometimes I wonder what happened in the lives of those who bullied me to cause them to do that. The world can be a cruel place. The more I think about it, the more my heart goes out to them.
I was tortured by more archaic methods, but abuse is still abuse. Luckily for me, I have not had the harsh experience of this kind of harassment over the internet, which is becoming more and more common. A post on a social site can be deleted but the words and the pain remain. I understand how much words can hurt even when they are gone.
The solution is actually really simple if someone chooses to take it. The change starts as an individual. You don't have to be a great public speaker or a super hero to combat bullying. You don’t even have to resort to violence to fight back, or even be labeled as a bully.
Look at what you are saying to others. Read what you type, look at your perspective of someone you dislike. In today's world, it's okay not to like someone else- that's a fact of life. You are not expected to like everyone just as not everyone is expected to like you. Though, to rain insults and language of hate on someone because they are different or not like your group of friends is not okay. That includes personal property vandalism, threats and pranks against them. When that happens between friends it might be all good in fun. For someone or a group of people to do things out of that mean spirit to someone who knows it's not in that "good fun" it can and will hurt.
I implore those who read this as the victims of the world's cruelty; don't let this consume you. Eventually, life will take you on a journey that is your own. Make the most of it, embrace it and do not allow their words and actions shape who you are. They don't and will never have the pleasure of knowing the wonderful person you really are. You are you, and you are amazing.
And to those who are the bullies: We remember. One day, we may be your boss. Your professor. The actor in your favorite movie. The newest hot cover album. The owner of your favorite website. We may save your husband's life after a devastating car accident. We may treat your wife for breast cancer. We may be the president. We may live a quiet, happy life in a house with a white picket fence. We may be a cashier at your local grocery store. We may serve you your favorite burger meal. We may fight for your freedom. We may be the counselor that helps your child through this same thing.
And we will recognize you. We may even give you the brightest, most welcoming genuine smile you ever saw.
But we will remember. People are immortalized by the footprints they leave behind. Don't let bullying be how you are remembered.
A bully is not alone, either. There can be a lot of causes that can turn someone into a bully, including having a rough home life, being bullied elsewhere which is taken out on someone else, having a hard time coping with a loss, or jealousy of what someone has. I believed when I was younger that some people were just born to be malicious, but in my adult years I well know this isn't true. Take the time to talk to someone- you might find a light. Someone is always willing to listen, so I encourage you to do inner-exploration to see if you can help yourself, too.
In addition, I would like to offer some links:
http://www.stopbullying.gov/ - (U.S.)
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ - (U.S.)
http://stompoutbullying.org/livechat_portal.php - (U.S.)
http://www.beatbullying.org/index.html - (U.K.)
http://www.mcgruff.org/#/Main - (U.S.)
http://www.bullying.com.au/ - (Australia)
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/get-help/web-counselling/ - (Australia)
http://bullyingcanada.ca/ - (Canada)
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/ - (U.S.)
http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/ - Adults are not immune.
I would also recommend taking a peek at the movie Bully (NR). Even if you don’t watch it, its existence a good reminder of what bullying can do.
http://cheezburger.com/6629100544
http://cheezburger.com/42688513
As stated in the second link, October, (along with being another National Month that is pretty close to home, Breast Cancer Awareness Month), it has also been declared National Bully Awareness Month.
Bully Awareness is pretty important. After I saw these webpages, I felt compelled to share. In social websites, this is a big deal. There are some people that are not as secure as others in the qualities that make them who they are, and others who are out to make themselves feel better for their own insecurities exploit this.
For me, it made me stronger. I have had an eventful life so far and I have had awesome experiences I can selfishly say that no one will ever have.
For others, it can be a different story. Bullying has been an unfortunate factor in shaping what is socially acceptable. Being popular or feared is being strong, which is expressed by some as being negatively dominant and mean to others. This comes in the form of words and images. Even actions.
- When I was in elementary school, the kids that lived down my road were horrible to me. One day, I shrugged it off and walked away because that was what my parents told me I should do. One of those kids threw a rock that hit me in the head because I walked away. This was about 20 years ago. It's something I packed away in the "Karma will get you" box, but it's still pretty vivid. This is only one of my experiences, but not the worst by far.
About 3 years later, two girls in my class were so intent on causing problems that they tried to get me to fight them in the school halls. Other kids gathered around, "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" rung in the air. I did nothing to them, kept to myself, enjoyed my daydreams, drawing my dragons and dolphins- but I did nothing to them to provoke that kind of mean-spirited conflict. These girls got into a lot a trouble for what they did. One of them threatened me that if they got in any more trouble they would "come and get me".
I figured, "So be it." Come what may. Nothing happened.
Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there. In high school, I was going to a tech school for art where students with art talents were hand-picked to attend out of the different schools around the county. In my videography class, someone found it a great idea to put hand cream in the VHS tape that contained my final project I was going to turn in. It was my only copy, and I discovered it when I was going to make a copy and opened the hard case to find the tape dripping with a familiarly-scented hand cream. I knew exactly who it was who did it as I know she couldn't tolerate me being in the same tech class as her- she even went to a different school in the county. Luckily, I was asking a lot of questions about the equipment and whatnot so my instructor saw my project and knew what I accomplished before the video was officially turned into the school for archiving and the grade. I did get a 100% on the project, but I do not have that piece for my portfolio and the school doesn’t have a copy because that person attempted to sabotage my final grade.
Alas, I didn't do any campaigning; I didn't do anything special- no rallies, no fundraisers, no inspiration tours. I didn't do campaigning for legislation to make laws or confront the school board. This was at a time when life was ruled by "Sticks and stones will break my bones". In a lackluster performance, I have just kept living my life, loving every moment of it.
I am not a success story like others might be, but in my own little way, I did win. I didn't let what these people did consume me.
For others, this is not possible- and that is down-right scary. Being bullied leads to depression and that leads to other unhappy circumstances. It can cause someone to be fearful of going to school or church, even going to work. It's not enjoyable and they feel trapped, unable to do anything because going to these places can be a necessary evil. Being a teenager is hard today because of the sheer desire to be better and accepted, and being an adult nowadays is just as difficult. We can blame society, the push to be better than anyone else, teachings from parents or entertainment media, or whatever other environmental factors.
Sometimes I wonder what happened in the lives of those who bullied me to cause them to do that. The world can be a cruel place. The more I think about it, the more my heart goes out to them.
I was tortured by more archaic methods, but abuse is still abuse. Luckily for me, I have not had the harsh experience of this kind of harassment over the internet, which is becoming more and more common. A post on a social site can be deleted but the words and the pain remain. I understand how much words can hurt even when they are gone.
The solution is actually really simple if someone chooses to take it. The change starts as an individual. You don't have to be a great public speaker or a super hero to combat bullying. You don’t even have to resort to violence to fight back, or even be labeled as a bully.
Look at what you are saying to others. Read what you type, look at your perspective of someone you dislike. In today's world, it's okay not to like someone else- that's a fact of life. You are not expected to like everyone just as not everyone is expected to like you. Though, to rain insults and language of hate on someone because they are different or not like your group of friends is not okay. That includes personal property vandalism, threats and pranks against them. When that happens between friends it might be all good in fun. For someone or a group of people to do things out of that mean spirit to someone who knows it's not in that "good fun" it can and will hurt.
I implore those who read this as the victims of the world's cruelty; don't let this consume you. Eventually, life will take you on a journey that is your own. Make the most of it, embrace it and do not allow their words and actions shape who you are. They don't and will never have the pleasure of knowing the wonderful person you really are. You are you, and you are amazing.
And to those who are the bullies: We remember. One day, we may be your boss. Your professor. The actor in your favorite movie. The newest hot cover album. The owner of your favorite website. We may save your husband's life after a devastating car accident. We may treat your wife for breast cancer. We may be the president. We may live a quiet, happy life in a house with a white picket fence. We may be a cashier at your local grocery store. We may serve you your favorite burger meal. We may fight for your freedom. We may be the counselor that helps your child through this same thing.
And we will recognize you. We may even give you the brightest, most welcoming genuine smile you ever saw.
But we will remember. People are immortalized by the footprints they leave behind. Don't let bullying be how you are remembered.
A bully is not alone, either. There can be a lot of causes that can turn someone into a bully, including having a rough home life, being bullied elsewhere which is taken out on someone else, having a hard time coping with a loss, or jealousy of what someone has. I believed when I was younger that some people were just born to be malicious, but in my adult years I well know this isn't true. Take the time to talk to someone- you might find a light. Someone is always willing to listen, so I encourage you to do inner-exploration to see if you can help yourself, too.
Take a stand against bullying. Let others be themselves.
In addition, I would like to offer some links:
http://www.stopbullying.gov/ - (U.S.)
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ - (U.S.)
http://stompoutbullying.org/livechat_portal.php - (U.S.)
http://www.beatbullying.org/index.html - (U.K.)
http://www.mcgruff.org/#/Main - (U.S.)
http://www.bullying.com.au/ - (Australia)
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/teens/get-help/web-counselling/ - (Australia)
http://bullyingcanada.ca/ - (Canada)
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/ - (U.S.)
http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/ - Adults are not immune.
I would also recommend taking a peek at the movie Bully (NR). Even if you don’t watch it, its existence a good reminder of what bullying can do.
Some links are courtesy of EllenTV.com citation and general web searches.