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By Cindy Donovinh
Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Santa's mind has been transferred to the body of a cow in a botched abduction attempt by Zurg spacecraft. (+)Exactly how this mind-swap is possible is unknown, but leading researchers believe that it may be the effect of a Zurg tractor beam pulling Santa and a cow into live power lines. Gaian scientists have advised the public not to think too hard about this.

An artist's rendition of the events leading to this bizarre mind-swap can be viewed here.

One of the Zurg pilots, the beloved 02, has expressed regret over the incident, although his statements do not seem to constitute an official apology from the Zurg leadership. With Santa apparently incapacitated and the future of Xmas unclear, 02 has offered to step into Santa's shoes and take on the role of holiday gift giver.

In a shocking development, Santa, now inhabiting the body of a cow, revealed in an interview that he will continue his duties as usual, although his condition may make it difficult. He remains deeply distrustful of the Zurg's motivation, and as Xmas draws near, Gaians will have to make a difficult choice: will they put their faith in a Santa with a cow's body, or an alien Santa impostor?
Click here to read the interview with Santa and Zurg 02.
By Cindy Donovinh
Friday, February 23, 2007

In a shocking turn of events, the Zurg have fled Gaia after escalating violence between the Zurg brothers ended in bloodshed.(+)

According to onlookers, Zurg 11 found the beloved and simple Zurg 02, who was still delivering Xmas gifts, seemingly unaware that the holiday had been over for months. 11 attempted to apologize to 02 for treating him so poorly in the past, but 02 refused to acknowledge him; witnesses report that 11 attempted to warn him that their brother 09, shot down months before, had become extremely dangerous after being revived by the Zurg Mother.

09 interrupted the reunion and began to rant angrily, threatening violence against 11...

Please join us here for an eyewitness account of the conclusion to this story.
By Cindy Donovinh
Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Reports have surfaced that Edmund, proprietor of the H.R. Wesley boutique in Durem, has been attacked in his home by an unknown gunman. (+)Evidence suggests that Edmund escaped unharmed after the attack; no blood was found on the scene, and witnesses report seeing a man matching Edmund's description headed toward the Gambino Mansion. Sources close to the situation suggest that this attack may have been carried out by the same sniper who shot both Johnny K. Gambino and shopkeeper Ian in recent years.

It is unknown whether this attack is related to Edmund's recent pleas for help in what he described as a life-or-death matter; recently, he solicited Gaians for help in gathering garlic and rare black orchids from local shops. His intended use for these items is unclear. It may be no coincidence that the Von Helson sisters, long thought to have been killed in the collapse of the Tower of Gambino, resurfaced at the same time and began asking for monetary donations to rebuild their empire. Tensions between the Von Helsons and Johnny Gambino (a close friend of Edmund's) have been boiling for several years.

A full account of the story can be found here

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