Welcome to Gaia! ::

Gambol's avatar

Shy Sex Symbol

Astaire

Girls and Hunger were the two things I tried to repeat most in the poem: mostly because I wanted the two to be connected. I don't know if I should give the meaning of the poem away, but they are the two most important ideas in the poem, so I figured they deserved repetition for emphasis.


Girls, hunger... sounds like a situation involving money-hungry rebels and children.
Gambol
Astaire

Girls and Hunger were the two things I tried to repeat most in the poem: mostly because I wanted the two to be connected. I don't know if I should give the meaning of the poem away, but they are the two most important ideas in the poem, so I figured they deserved repetition for emphasis.


Girls, hunger... sounds like a situation involving money-hungry rebels and children.


The poem's meaning is pretty clear already -- closer to hitting us over the head than obscure.

It still doesn't merit the repetition.

It's also not about money-hungry rebels. razz
Astaire's avatar

4,900 Points
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Signature Look 250
  • Forum Sophomore 300
Gambol
Girls, hunger... sounds like a situation involving money-hungry rebels and children.


Does it? That wasn't the intent. sweatdrop If it reads better with that interpretation, though, I'm all for it. Perhaps I wasn't as clear as I thought.

Damn. Slam is not my style. Slam is actually the antithesis of my style; I usually stick with one image and try to make it clear throughout. Slam is a real barrage of imagery and it's hard to write in that style.
zero the last decepticon
Ganapati
This feels so snooty. Not only must I discuss poetry and writings in college, but in a forum too? Eh, this will have to grow on me. I don't know why you let the lurve bother you so much; it's just a forum, with an occasional t**t. I survive it. But i'll give this p***k-forum a chance. wink


Ah-ah.
Be nice.
My opinions are mine alone, and the reason I left said forum was because of half cocked, and smartassed remarks such as the one you just made. This is my little slice of the OP/L..If you don't agree with it, there are plenty of people talking s**t about it/me in the Minilurve. Go join them, please. 3nodding

Yeah, but just about all of us, yourself included, are smartasses to some degree. It's not something to agree or disagree with. I said i'd give it a try.
Astaire's avatar

4,900 Points
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Signature Look 250
  • Forum Sophomore 300
Poetess Laureate
Gambol
Astaire

Girls and Hunger were the two things I tried to repeat most in the poem: mostly because I wanted the two to be connected. I don't know if I should give the meaning of the poem away, but they are the two most important ideas in the poem, so I figured they deserved repetition for emphasis.


Girls, hunger... sounds like a situation involving money-hungry rebels and children.


The poem's meaning is pretty clear already -- closer to hitting us over the head than obscure.

It still doesn't merit the repetition.

It's also not about money-hungry rebels. razz


Well, there's also a very cyclic nature in the topic that (apparently is now bashingly clear) I was trying to convey, which also merits repetition for that reason (mother to daughter, etc.)

Is that a from-my-a** defense? You bet it is! Poetry class has taught me how to bullshit everything I do. heart
zero the last decepticon

Ah-ah.
Be nice.
My opinions are mine alone, and the reason I left said forum was because of half cocked, and smartassed remarks such as the one you just made. This is my little slice of the OP/L..If you don't agree with it, there are plenty of people talking s**t about it/me in the Minilurve. Go join them, please. 3nodding


Whoa.

Mahayr lives on...IN THIS MOOK!
Ganapati
zero the last decepticon
Ganapati
This feels so snooty. Not only must I discuss poetry and writings in college, but in a forum too? Eh, this will have to grow on me. I don't know why you let the lurve bother you so much; it's just a forum, with an occasional t**t. I survive it. But i'll give this p***k-forum a chance. wink


Ah-ah.
Be nice.
My opinions are mine alone, and the reason I left said forum was because of half cocked, and smartassed remarks such as the one you just made. This is my little slice of the OP/L..If you don't agree with it, there are plenty of people talking s**t about it/me in the Minilurve. Go join them, please. 3nodding

Yeah, but just about all of us, yourself included, are smartasses to some degree. It's not something to agree or disagree with. I said i'd give it a try.


I guess you're right.
With all the bullshit flying around, and Oxxis rather childlike and pathetic attempts to get under my skin, I just decided to pull the worst out of what you said. I'm going to hop on offline for a bit, and let things take the natural course. Feel free to add, or just hang out.

I'll see you guys in a bit. heart
Gambol's avatar

Shy Sex Symbol

Poetess Laureate


It's also not about money-hungry rebels. razz


Hee.

But when you boil it down like that, it sounds like it. surprised
Astaire's avatar

4,900 Points
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Signature Look 250
  • Forum Sophomore 300
Gambol
Poetess Laureate


It's also not about money-hungry rebels. razz


Hee.

But when you boil it down like that, it sounds like it. surprised


I almost enjoy it better as a poem about money-hungry rebels.

THEY'RE GONNA EAT YEWWWWW
Gambol's avatar

Shy Sex Symbol

Lord knows they will.

Might have a go with the slam.
Astaire's avatar

4,900 Points
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Signature Look 250
  • Forum Sophomore 300
Gambol
Lord knows they will.

Might have a go with the slam.


Lord knows you'll probably do better than I did.

Slam ain't my bag, but it was worth a shot, at any rate.
I will be back on much, much later tonight. Then, this space will be my version of this saul williams thingie, 'cuz it's the only thing today that has been able to get through the apathy surrounding me.

Zero: love you bro.
Vespertine
I will be back on much, much later tonight. Then, this space will be my version of this saul williams thingie, 'cuz it's the only thing today that has been able to get through the apathy surrounding me.

Zero: love you bro.


I know you do.

I'm also really eager to see how you handle slam.
I'd say that other than the obvious, and extremely predicable naysaying, this is moving along exactly as planned. This pleases me. xd
Astaire's avatar

4,900 Points
  • Autobiographer 200
  • Signature Look 250
  • Forum Sophomore 300
zero the last decepticon


I know you do.

I'm also really eager to see how you handle slam.
I'd say that other than the obvious, and extremely predicable naysaying, this is moving along exactly as planned. This pleases me. xd


Out of curiosity, where did you first find out about Saul Williams?
Astaire
zero the last decepticon


I know you do.

I'm also really eager to see how you handle slam.
I'd say that other than the obvious, and extremely predicable naysaying, this is moving along exactly as planned. This pleases me. xd


Out of curiosity, where did you first find out about Saul Williams?



'Ni Che.

He knows about my love of really odd forms of Hip-Hop, so he turned me on to Saul, and Busdriver.

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games