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Should we move the thread to the ChatterBox or keep it here?

ChatterBox 0.27966101694915 28.0% [ 33 ]
Stay! 0.72033898305085 72.0% [ 85 ]
Total Votes:[ 118 ]
Kuri-Mu Momo's avatar

Dedicated Lunatic

Kuri's cat is missing. I feel very hollow.

Axel, TRY!!!!!!!!!! Depression runs in my family too. Me and my mother have almost killed one another. My step dad was abusive, my biological father almost blew my head off with a rifle, everyone i ever went to school with still hates me. But all you have to do is forgive. If you don't forgive, no matter how much they hurt you you'll never get out of your rut. Exactly, they made you who you are today because you let them under your skin. All i can think about when people run others down is 'they must have had a s**t life too, its their only way to make themselves feel better'. I forgave them all. Because i know dwelling on the past will never ever give one a bright future filled with happiness.

We're all the same. We all have every right to be here. Even you.

Be strong for once and you'll see there's more to the world than the scum that slinks the streets. Don't give in because the world is tough, and it will always be tough. If it was easy, we would die of boredom and corruption faster than we do now.

Get out of NY then. If it doesn't work out there, find a place that will. Just try it.
Kochou Rairakku's avatar

Apocalyptic Lunatic

I can't try and forgive them! Because they still put me through s**t at the present! I went from the kid that easily picked on to don't piss the guy off. If you messed with my emotions or my life, I vowed that I would never want to hear word of them and see them in my sight ever again. It's people like them that made me bitter at a young age. I literally hate the majority of people, it's why I never leave my house for anything unless it's for important things and shopping.

I can't leave NY, one, because I have no job, which means I make no money. Two, I don't ever plan on driving, EVER. And three, I don't ever plan on living by myself, EVER.

Can't even keep my emotions in cheek as well as I used to and my head hurts like hell...
Ugh.
Felgrand CrimsonWing's avatar

Dangerous Shapeshifter

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-sigh- this is making me sad.... =(
Kochou Rairakku's avatar

Apocalyptic Lunatic

-Sighs-
Maybe I should just leave for awhile then....
Kuri-Mu Momo's avatar

Dedicated Lunatic

Kou, you just need to find yourself.

I found my Kitty, 8 hours. It took 8 hours. She was trapped under the psycho neighbors house. She's okay though. I'm going to spend more time with my kitties. Sooo, everyone have a great night. =D
Felgrand CrimsonWing's avatar

Dangerous Shapeshifter

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Thats great, Kuri!! =D
Kuri-Mu Momo's avatar

Dedicated Lunatic

Yeah, i am super relieved she's okay. That would have just urked me. Had to ground myself and think of where i'd be if i was a clingy, fixed fat fat.

Wow the moon sure is in Stupid the past few weeks. Now my grandmother is being an melodramatic depressed b***h. Grr.
Kuri-Mu Momo's avatar

Dedicated Lunatic

I now know who you reminded me of now Axel. A 14 year old me, and a 13 year old cousin. You'll learn to forgive, or else you wont get anywhere. You'll learn. It all takes time for the right to manifest.

I feel sick, maybe its all the spicy wings i ate. But its goooood. Imma go play with my best furry friend now. Nighty night everyone !!!
Felgrand CrimsonWing's avatar

Dangerous Shapeshifter

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mmmmm....spicy wings!
Monoky's avatar

Romantic Fatcat

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Kochou Rairakku
The Mistress Is Speaking...


Just a few things I would like to say.

Axel, I am 21 years old.

My mother has depression, is bi-polar and is wild in the ways of illegal substences.
Despite those...issues...she is the most amazing person I know.
I have watched my mother struggle all her life..
Even had to give ME up to my father for a few years to get her life back on track.

My father is an ex-alcoholic, ex-pill popper and now is a very giant a*****e.
He hates the world, hates people, hates to do much of anything.
He constantly gives me s**t and makes me feel like s**t.
However, I know he loves me and would do anything for me if he had the means.

My half-sister on my Mothers side is bi-polar...and just plain ******** crazy.
This lady beat the s**t out of me when I was just a kid.
Left me home during tornadoes, severe storms etc...ALONE.
She tortured the s**t out of me and called me every name in the book.
Because of her, my entire self-esteem and confidence meter is broke.

I can't stand the person in the mirror.
Her appearance makes me want to claw my eyes out.
But, there are some amazing qualities I see.
For instance:
My eyes are my best feature.
Hazel, that change color with lighting, emotions and wardrobe.
My hair is constantly in wicked styles that I love to create.
I have many piercings and I plan on getting even more.

I hate the shape of my body.
I hate the fact that I am a woman, yet I love it.
I have severe mood-swings and I get depressed easily.
However, I know how to make myself smile...get into a better mood.

I escape into books, into writing, creating other worlds in words.

Every man I have ever been with twisted me in different ways.
Weather it was emotionally, mentally or physically.
I was through with men.
I was going to go straight to women.
Until a sly man in Texas decided to start talking to me....
About being furry.
I have been with that man for over two years now...
And I love him with everything I have.

Mentally, I am two beings.
Hannah and Conrad.
Hannah is the normal day to day...
Feminine person people meet.
The Mistress.
The one how would pull the shirt off her back to give her friend.
Even if that friend did her wrong.

Conrad is that down and dirty male I feel like on rough days.
The sadist that doesn't give a rats a** about any one.
The one I wish I was born most days.

However...
I am Me.
I have learned to accept who I was..
Change the things I could control.
And flip off the people and s**t they do to me.


Now You May Reply.
Kochou Rairakku's avatar

Apocalyptic Lunatic

.....
Kitty is only a year older than me...

And the only thing I like about me is my blue eyes...I haven't meet a soul that looked into them and said they didn't like them.
But I can never accept that I'm male...
My past tells me that...

I'd love to lose myself in something...but nothing clicks anymore.
Especially games, I mean, I like what's in them, sometimes like to think of ideas based off them...
But I could never lose myself in them...

Technically I have three beings inside me head...the one that is everyday me, the one that wants to come out and be herself, and the one...that I want to keep locked away forever...

But I doubt I'd have the strength to realize who I am as long as I feel like this...
I really want help, because I fear of how far deep I've plunged...but like I said...it's unlikely that I'll ever see such help.

And why...is Kitty leaving...?
Kochou Rairakku
Thinking about leaving.

Perhaps you should get away...
Stay with someone that would allow you to be you.
Kochou Rairakku's avatar

Apocalyptic Lunatic

Mistress Kittles
Kochou Rairakku
Thinking about leaving.

Perhaps you should get away...
Stay with someone that would allow you to be you.
Oh...

-Shakes head-
I don't know where to go...
And I have no one to go to that would allow me to do so...
Kochou Rairakku
The Mistress Is Speaking...


If we had our apartment.
I would suggest you come staying with me for a month or two.


Now You May Reply.

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