The Fanfiction Exchange Thread :: Be Active, Get Reviews!

[milila]

Raerairei

surprised I like the idea of this thread! I wouldn't mind some hard critique on my fanfiction, as I'm only a beginner writer I need all the help I can get right now xD

Though I'm terrible at reviewing other people's stories >>

well if you read the OP and put up your story, one of us will critique it, and you can see how the critiquing works. All we ask is that you give an insightful, and thoughtful review on what you think the author needs to work on. We'd love to add you to our list when ever your ready ^_^

[terradi]

Alrighty! Submitting!

Link to the story: The Path of Mielikki is the version that I have up on Gaia. There is a much, much further along version on fanfiction.net here. Right now though I am focusing on editing it and working out some holes in the story that I had neglected to attend to before. The stuff on Gaia is going to be what I have edited and feel represents my best work.

Fandom: Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore's Drizzt Do'Urden series.

Summary: Zaknafein had assumed that after sacrificing his life to save his son from the clutches of the matron mother Malice Do'Urden that his part in his son's life was over. However it didn't quite work out that way. A story that follows Zaknafein through adventures on the surface world.

Genre and eventual pairings: Fantasy/Adventure. Possibility for romance much later on, but not for a long, long time.

Warnings: n/a

Notes on any aspects you're interested in receiving feedback about and/or anything else you feel is pertinent:

I am trying hard to actually make this story follow all of the rules of Forgotten Realms and Dungeons and Dragons. I would really appreciate it if someone could point out any discrepancies that they see as this progresses.

Brief excerpt of the story:

The fields flashed black again yet Iria found herself able to see. From behind her, she heard the sound of someone approaching and whirled around.

In front of her was a drow elf with long white hair and dark blue eyes. Iria reached for her weapons immediately and the drow moved back, his hands out before him indicating that he carried no weapons. Indeed, Iria saw no place for a weapon to be carried on him. He was dressed in a dark blue tunic and a set of pants, part of which had been torn off to form a makeshift bandage about his arm. Both pieces of clothing looked bedraggled and Iria wondered how long this drow had been in the wilderness. She took her hands away from her weapons then crossed them over her chest.

The drow smiled in what looked like relief and bowed his head to her.

“Who are you?” She said aloud.

The drow shook his head and then met her gaze one last time, this time his gaze looked sorrowful and lonely. Then he vanished and Iria was left in the middle of the field, alone.

That was when she had awoken from her reverie, thoroughly confused about the manner of her dream. Drow are evil by nature, every last one of them. She might have thought otherwise at one time or another but she had seen one too many raids in which the drow had caused massive amounts of havoc, with more glee than she’d believed was possible. She’d fought against them too many times and heard them curse her existence with their dying breaths. The dream had to be a lie, she knew that.

But the silvery-white hair she’d found in her hand when she awoke would not allow her to dismiss the dream as easily as that.

Fandoms and genres you're willing to read for in return:
I don't know Naruto well enough to critique. I have read Twilight 1-3 ... but not the fourth. I would prefer not to have any spoilers. Harry Potter, Inuyasha, Death Note ... I watch a lot of anime ... ah, really I am willing to take a stab at a lot of things. I will edit this later with more things.

[PadawanCyn]

Raerairei

surprised I like the idea of this thread! I wouldn't mind some hard critique on my fanfiction, as I'm only a beginner writer I need all the help I can get right now xD

Though I'm terrible at reviewing other people's stories >>

Go ahead and give it a try! As for your claim of not being good at reviewing - don't worry so much about it. No one expects you to point out every flaw in a story and anything you might have to say will be appreciated as long as it's constructive. ^^

@White Rabbit Redux: Cool! Would you like me to give it a second look?

@terradi: Welcome! I'll add you right away! biggrin

[terradi]

Thank you! I am willing to take a stab at a lot of stuff, whether I know it or not ... but I fear not being in the US and kinda being clueless about most of the pop culture stuff there over the past two years is going to make me kinda useless.

The one advantage I *do* have is that I live in Japan and can give some idea on whether or not something sounds natural or strange. I don't speak the language well, but I know enough from two years here to have a basic grasp of things.

[PadawanCyn]

terradi

Thank you! I am willing to take a stab at a lot of stuff, whether I know it or not ... but I fear not being in the US and kinda being clueless about most of the pop culture stuff there over the past two years is going to make me kinda useless.

The one advantage I *do* have is that I live in Japan and can give some idea on whether or not something sounds natural or strange. I don't speak the language well, but I know enough from two years here to have a basic grasp of things.

Lol, don't worry. I've never even been to the US. XD
All that matters is how much we like fanfiction, regardless of where we are eheh.

I'm lucky to have come across you then! Do you mind if I take the opportunity to ask what you think of living in Japan? I was thinking of going there to study for a period of time.

Here are two more banners for you guys to put on your sigs. This time, small-sized:

[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/fanfiction//t.46353835/]
[img]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y44/cysne/ficexchange/book_banner150.gif[/img][/url]

[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/fanfiction//t.46353835/]
[img]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y44/cysne/ficexchange/book_banner150x50.gif[/img][/url]

[Lady Sedia Auvryarn]

http://tinyurl.com/8zzmkq

[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/fanfiction/t.46353835/]
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v24/novadestin/gaia/ficexchange.png[/img][/url]

Mine is done too biggrin btw The Fic Exchange you should put a break in between the url and the img part like above so they don't stretch the posts wink love all the other banners too!

[The Fic Exchange]

Lady Sedia Auvryarn

http://tinyurl.com/8zzmkq

[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/fanfiction//t.46353835/]
[img]http://tinyurl.com/8zzmkq[/img][/url]

Mine is done too biggrin btw The Fic Exchange you should put a break in between the url and the img part like above so they don't stretch the posts wink love all the other banners too!

Aw, that one's so cute!
And thanks for the warning. It wasn't stretching on my computer so I hadn't realised. ^^

- Cyn

[terradi]

PadawanCyn

I'm lucky to have come across you then! Do you mind if I take the opportunity to ask what you think of living in Japan? I was thinking of going there to study for a period of time.

^^; I'm over here for teaching which is a looot different than going to school or studying. Because my job is teaching English, I don't use a lot of Japanese. It's actually not necessary. Also, there's a few people my age but I don't deal with other students my age or any of that.

Japan can be overwhelming. Being illiterate takes some getting used to. Japan is also very conformist, which means that if you're foreign you *will* get a lot of stares, all the time, no matter what you're up to. There's some issues with racism but they're not too bad in my experience. The average time for people to come here for teaching in my company used to be about six months. They're not hiring so much now and they fired a lot of people .. no idea what the statistics are now.

I love the country honestly. ^^ It is beautiful and interesting, and I have enough English friends to fall back on and people who can help me out when I need more Japanese that I have that I am very comfortable here. But that's me.

[White Rabbit Redux]

Padawan: I'd totally like for you to give it a second glance. :]

[PadawanCyn]

terradi

^^; I'm over here for teaching which is a looot different than going to school or studying. Because my job is teaching English, I don't use a lot of Japanese. It's actually not necessary. Also, there's a few people my age but I don't deal with other students my age or any of that.

Japan can be overwhelming. Being illiterate takes some getting used to. Japan is also very conformist, which means that if you're foreign you *will* get a lot of stares, all the time, no matter what you're up to. There's some issues with racism but they're not too bad in my experience. The average time for people to come here for teaching in my company used to be about six months. They're not hiring so much now and they fired a lot of people .. no idea what the statistics are now.

I love the country honestly. ^^ It is beautiful and interesting, and I have enough English friends to fall back on and people who can help me out when I need more Japanese that I have that I am very comfortable here. But that's me.

Oh, thank you. It's great to have an "insider's view" on what it's really like, because I've heard so many rumours and stories from people and people who know people that I'm not quite sure what to believe anymore. You've given me a lot to think about, because if I were to go I'd be going pretty much on my own and I'd probably stay for at least a year. Now I'm not so sure, eheh. So, thanks! ^^

@ White Rabbit Redux: Will do. biggrin

[terradi]

I'd recommend coming up as a tourist first if you can manage it, just to get a taste of what it's like to get around. If you study hard and you have a dictionary you can do alright here. I'm a bit lazy and I don't speak a lot of Japanese because it's just not required of me. If I was more motivated I'd be much better. Two years is long enough to pick up a lot ... if you study.

I live in Kyoto, which is absolutely gorgeous, and has a reasonable number of people who speak a bit of English. It's tourist central so there's a lot of bilingual menus. Things like getting haircuts or figuring out which package is the laundry detergent and which is the fabric softener (some of them say it in English on the bottom, which is how I avoid learning the kanji) are fun too.

sweatdrop Once you settle into a routine it's not so bad. But yeah .. having someone to turn to and tell you what the official looking mail you got was is useful. Homestays would help with that ... if you've ever considered one of those.

[milila]

terradi

I'd recommend coming up as a tourist first if you can manage it, just to get a taste of what it's like to get around. If you study hard and you have a dictionary you can do alright here. I'm a bit lazy and I don't speak a lot of Japanese because it's just not required of me. If I was more motivated I'd be much better. Two years is long enough to pick up a lot ... if you study.

I live in Kyoto, which is absolutely gorgeous, and has a reasonable number of people who speak a bit of English. It's tourist central so there's a lot of bilingual menus. Things like getting haircuts or figuring out which package is the laundry detergent and which is the fabric softener (some of them say it in English on the bottom, which is how I avoid learning the kanji) are fun too.

sweatdrop Once you settle into a routine it's not so bad. But yeah .. having someone to turn to and tell you what the official looking mail you got was is useful. Homestays would help with that ... if you've ever considered one of those.

I've been all over Asia; China, South Korea, Vietnam, Ect... but as much as I want to I've never been to Japan XD. One day I will go. I had an opportunity this summer but it was between the Olympics in China or Japan............. emo

[Lady Helen Smith]

Link to the story:Decisions
Fandom:Hellboy
Summary: A short story about Karl Kroenen in his younger days, after he lost his opera voice but before his masochism and surgical addiction became its worst (as well as being set at least 10 years before he met Rasputin and joined the Nazi party).
Genre and eventual pairings: Psycological, perhaps a little horror. No pairing
Warnings: Idealogically sensitive. Refferences to Nazi Germany, Aryan ideals, self abuse and contains non-specific nudity.
Notes on any aspects you're interested in receiving feedback about and/or anything else you feel is pertinent: Tone, Grammar, how well the descriptions work.
Brief excerpt of the story: (is very much brief, as the story itself is short)

Shoulders still tense as he stared at the ceiling, Karl muttered words to himself in his mother tongue. He pressed a hand to his chest, relishing in the feel of a relatively fresh set of stitches from obsessive cosmetic surgery. He traced them from his right side, below the ribcage, curving upwards, bumping over ribs, skimming a n****e and ending at the collarbone.

The surrounding flesh was still swollen and red, the area’s muscle contracting with the sting of touch as he applied pressure with worn fingers. His hand trailed slowly to his face, to those once charismatic Aryan features now beginning to wear out. His blonde hair was left ragged around his ears, but he’d soon shave it off completely. His blue eyes were the only thing of conformist beauty on his face that might remain.

Fandoms and genres you're willing to read for in return:
Anything really. I'm not a fan of fluff and pairings, but I can still concrit them without being bias. I'll happily review anything from Naruto to Twilight, of any genre.

[The Fic Exchange]

Lady Helen Smith

Link to the story:Decisions
Fandom:Hellboy
Summary: A short story about Karl Kroenen in his younger days, after he lost his opera voice but before his masochism and surgical addiction became its worst (as well as being set at least 10 years before he met Rasputin and joined the Nazi party).
Genre and eventual pairings: Psycological, perhaps a little horror. No pairing
Warnings: Idealogically sensitive. Refferences to Nazi Germany, Aryan ideals, self abuse and contains non-specific nudity.
Notes on any aspects you're interested in receiving feedback about and/or anything else you feel is pertinent: Tone, Grammar, how well the descriptions work.
Brief excerpt of the story: (is very much brief, as the story itself is short)

Shoulders still tense as he stared at the ceiling, Karl muttered words to himself in his mother tongue. He pressed a hand to his chest, relishing in the feel of a relatively fresh set of stitches from obsessive cosmetic surgery. He traced them from his right side, below the ribcage, curving upwards, bumping over ribs, skimming a n****e and ending at the collarbone.

The surrounding flesh was still swollen and red, the area’s muscle contracting with the sting of touch as he applied pressure with worn fingers. His hand trailed slowly to his face, to those once charismatic Aryan features now beginning to wear out. His blonde hair was left ragged around his ears, but he’d soon shave it off completely. His blue eyes were the only thing of conformist beauty on his face that might remain.

Fandoms and genres you're willing to read for in return:
Anything really. I'm not a fan of fluff and pairings, but I can still concrit them without being bias. I'll happily review anything from Naruto to Twilight, of any genre.

You've Just been added to the list ^_^. We are happy to have you