Startrek Voyager story NOW CARFULLY BETAD & finnished

[dark vamp angle101]

HI GUYS THIS IS MY LATETS CHAPTER..... I HAVE ALL READY POST IT ON FAN FICTION DOT NET TO LOTS OF GRATE REVIIWS!!!! I HOPE U INJOY IT!

mrgreen ]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/color] mrgreen

I starred broodingley out the window. Suddinly Nomi Wideman was at my side.

"hey, girl"

"hey..." I said "hows it going?"

"I am really upset at Q Junoir."

"oh gosh why?"

Nami dabbeled at her eyes delicately and let out a delicate sniffel. I felt so totally bad for her. I was so worried about Itcheb and Vorrik that I had ignore her for seveval weeks ever since I returned from the 21th century. She flipped her long reddish hair behind her shoulder and sat down on the nearest chair (we were in the galliey). I was so surprised but thank full that nobody else was hear.

"I havent seen him for weeks... not sence he took you back to your time back in the past and I just don't' know what I shold do about it. How do I get him back Shaudrah? I just can't imagine that without him why did he leave and hit on you? I am the only person that Q Junior should buying red vines for."

"you know I would never ever want to steal away Q Junior, Noami, but mabey he is not ready to get married yet!"

"But we are 18 years old we ll at least i am!"

I gave her a modist hug and she sniffle some more and then we shared some doritos. She clamed down, and then I spoke again.

"You should pary about it."

"Pray?"

"You know pary to our Savuior. Its like a combadge to god"

She locked confused, so I showed her and then she tried it and she looked really happy and sirene and I felt so happy that I had prehaps led her to God at least a little. Then I gave her one of those little free Bibles that you get at church and she said shed read it.

"You are so totally right shaundrah, I feel so clarity and power full now. I will not harass Q Junior any more. It is not lady like and it is not what i should put my energeys to. If me and Q junoir are meant to be together FOREVER then I think it will happen."

"That is right Noami...GOD will write your love story if you are pacient!"

Then we hugged and we desided to go back to our quartirs because we both had to work the next day and we were both exosted.

I was floting in a gigantic pink cloud. Then suddenly, Captan Jane Way flew toward me on another pink cloud. He look relaxed and happy and so unlike what I expecte from her. She smile at me and I locked surprised.

"Wear am I, Captian Janway?"

"In my sub conscients."

"What?!"

"Im my sub condcients, Shaundrah."

"you mean i'm really not here?"

"No, you arent actually in this palace, though its quite peace full, isn't it?" she sighed "It makes me not want to come back"

"But... but you got kidnaped by the Brog!"

She sighed and floped down on her cloud. Gold gliters swirled in the air around her it was beatiful.

"I did... I did..." she close her eyes and looked so very sad "Shaundrah, you must promise me... you mutt promise me... to save Chacotay."

"What!?"

"Chakotay! he is alive and trying to save me... his shuttel has been ireporabely damaged... dont let him get assemblated like me, Shaundrah... all i can do now is save HIM..."

The sound of athousand soft whispering voices began to appear, soft first but then loud and turned her face toward them and began to floater away into the pink clouds

"but how do I find him? HOW CAPTAIN?" I screamed and try to fallow her

"No shaundrah, do not follow me..." captain jane way began to fade away and sickeningley, her face began to look gray and splodgy like a BORG. I qas terrified and i could not do any thing except hiper-ventolate.

"lokk for the twin violets..."

I jumped up. I was in bed. It had been dream. I sighed and hopped my speeding heart beat would slow down so i would not have a heart attack right in my bed room. My face was all wet from swet. A dream... it had been dream.

And yet... yet... what if it was not? I could not explan it, but some thing made me feel like I had actually been taking to Captain Janeway. I had to tell some one. I slappe my combadge

"Shaundrah to Acting Captan Tubok..."

[dark vamp angle101]

HI GUYZ I AM BACKKK! HERE IS NEXT CHAPTER ALSO I BEEN UP DATING ON FANFICTON.NET HOPE U WILL GO RAVIEW LIKE A BILLION TIMES

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuvok tapped his chin and narrow his dark Vulcan eyes. Shaundrah had told him what had happened in that Captain Janeway had appeared in a dream and had told Shaundrah that Shaundrah had to go and save Chackotay because he was in trouble at a place with twin violents.

"It is not logical." He said.

I said. "I know! But I am completely knowing 100% that that was rally Captain Janeway in my dream!"

Tuvok nodded. "You have convinced me Shaundrah. We must follow your dream."

"But what could it posibly mean, twin violets?" Harry Kim asked whille scratching his head "It is just so confusing."

After two hours of tinking, nobody was any closer to an answer. Harry Kim's head hurt from thinkign so hard so he excused himself to go play with his clarinett for a while. Suddenly Shaundrah stood up at the front of the bridge where she had been sitting at the connstation.

"Aha I got it!"

"What is it Shaundrah." Tuvok asked.

"What if it is a planet or stars? Twin plants or stars? Are there any violet plants or stars around this system?"

"Long range scaners are picking up a twin violet dwarf system approximately forty warps away from her." Icheb looked at Tuvok from the helm. "Shaundrah got it!"

"Set a course Ensign maximum warp." Tuvok snapped.

And then the ship sped away toward the violet drawf stars. Shaundrah almost cried with relief knowing that the would now be able to save Commander Choacktay.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Shaundrah could not sleep and she stood in her quarter staring out the windows at the stars speeding by. She was wearing a really nice hot pink dress that she'd bought at Forever 21 and also some converse. Suddenly the doors uponed. It was Harry Kim.

"Shaudrah I wondered if you were still awake."

"I am still awake."

He sat down next to her. She shivered in the cold. He put off his jackit and wrapped it around her shoulders. She said thank you.

"You know Shaundrah you are so pretty." Harry Kim said. "And so smart and also so sweeet."

"Oh thank you."

"Your welcome." He turned and stared into Shaundrah's eyes. "If only your father was on the ship then I... then I..."

He looked really pained and then suddenly stood up. Looking all brooding and stuff he muttered goodbye and ran out the door.

xoxoxooxoxoxoox

"Tubok to Shaundrah."

Shaundrah jumped awake. She had fallen asleep on the couch after Harry Kim had left and been all weird and stuff in her room. It was okay though because it's better sometimes for your back to sleep on a hard couch instead of a pouffy mattress.

Anyhow she hit her combadge. "Shaundrah here."

"Shaundrah please report to the transporter room. We have conduct a scan and discovered something of interest..."

"The wrecking of the Delta Flyer. I know."

There was shock silence on the other end of the line for a moment. Then Tuvok got over it and started talking again.

"We have detected one life sign, human male, contained within the wreckage of the Detla Flyer. Since you had that special dream I am sending you down with Icheb and Harry Kim on an away mission. Get your side arm, dress for the cold, and then report to the transporter room for nine thirty am, okay?"

Shaundrah felt totally excited. An away mission! With her two favourite guys on teh ship? And to save Commander Chackotay?

How could it possibly go wrong?

[dark vamp angle101]

HI EVRY1 NEW CHAPTER HEAR!!!

xxx ooo xxx

They stood on the trasptoorter pad and Chef O Brian beamed them down.

"beaming three people down right now acting captain Tuvco!" he said.

Suddenly Shandra'hs vision went all sparkely and the tasporter room vanished and suddenly she was surrounded by big, sillhooettid trees that shook back and forth in the big wind. She lookced around and there was no Hary or Ichaeb.
She was alone. She hit her combadge and there was noly a BUZZZZZZZ sound.

A lightening storm over head was full of clouds and cracked with thunders. She reach for her katana at her waist, justincase something evil jumped her.

"Hi there!" she screamed "anyone there?"

Her voice eckoed in the wind.

She ran along the edge of the cliff where she had re materailized. Then she saw some smoke from at the bottom of the lake. She ran to the smoke. There was some twisted metal and stuff. On the twist metal it said DELTA FYLER. She knew it was the ship she waa looking for and she started yelling.

"Chakotay Chakotay are you in there?"
she yelled

Then she heard some groning. She walked inside the Detal Falyer. And in stead of Chackotay, she found some one else... some weird random stranger guy who was like Shaundrah's age. He had tanned skin and spikey black hair and his short and pants had all been burnt I guess when the ship fell on him. He look human not like alien.

"Hello who are you?" Shaundrah said and grabbed his shirt and shook him a little.

His eyes opened and they were the most beutiful dark black eyes, like the color of night.

"Sssshhhhaaaaundraaaahh..." he croked out "is it u?"

"Whoa, do we now each other?" Shaundrah said?

"What kind of queston is that, like oviously!"

Shaundrah stared into his eyes with out under standing and the black as cole eyes stared back into her saphire ones.

"Dont' you reconize me, its Chackotay!"

"Oh my goodness are you kidding?"

"No why would I be kidding" he ask.

"Because your like s16 yoears old"

He stared at her like she was a total tard and so Saundrah brought her pockit miror from her pockit and flipped it open and put it in Chakotay's face. Then he gasped and touched his own face and then he fell unconscients.

Oh NO!" Shaundrah said and sat down wating for him to wake up again.

333

He woke up like ten mints later and Shaundrah looked up at the sky because it look like it was going to rain.

"Looks like rain" Chakotay said "we need to find shelter because i can't get the comunications systems working on the Detla Flyer as the entier ship was destroyed when it crashed on this plant."

"Oh okay" Shaundrah said and then pointed at a big piece of metal.

Look that busted up metal is pretty much the snape of a tent! We can just put it down and thenwe can use it like shelter"

"Wow good idea."

So then they dragged the busted up metal over and away from the smokeing reckage of the ship and it was bent kind of in a triangle shape and it was big enough for both of them to sit down inside. Then Chakotay found another big square piece of metal and stuck it on the back and it was a pretty decent looking shelter and they could lie down in it. It reminded Shadunra that the time when her family went down to Florida in a pop up trailer and that was pretty gool.

They sad down inside of their twisty metal shelter and just then it started to rain but it wasnt too cold so it was okay. The sound of rains on metals was a nice sound too.

"So um Chakotay why are you like a teenage now?" she asked.

"I dont know I wasn't one when I was in space. But I guess crash landing the ship some how turned me into a 15 yer old."

"Weird anyhow, I didnt come down here by my self but when I apeared on the surfice of the planet, there was no Harry or Icheb any hwere that I can see."

"Maybe they ddnt beam down maybe they are still on the ship maybe it was a transporter error or maybe they are together some where else." Chackotay said very intellectually. "I am sure they are ok."

"Oh, your probably rite Chakotay."

They were quite a while just sitting by the fickering fire and listening to the rains drop down from the clouds.

"Actuelly, Shaundrah I gotta ask you a queston." Chakotay said slowly. "Um, like... how did you find me here? I wasn't near the Voyager, I was not near wear you last saw me, so how can you possibly have found my ship here?"

Shaundrah looked down sadly and she knew Chakotay would be very sad when he heard the storey of Captain Janeywa's pink clouds.

"Captain Janeway has been totally assembilabed by the brog collectave." Shaundrah began to sob. "She came to me pcshyicically in a dram where she was floating on some pink clods..."

"No!" Chakotay whispered "Not Cathryn!"

"I think it was her last good bye to u Crew... she told ne where to find you and said i had to save you before the borg clective got you."

"Its just not possible... Cathrine can't be gone..."

Then Chakotay began to sob sadly!

[dark vamp angle101]

NEWS AWESOME CHAPTER AS U CAN SEE I HAVE REALLY IMPROVING THE SPELLING FROM WHEN I STARTED STORY!!!

thx shaundrah

xd xd xd xd xd xd
Harry and Icheb looked a round where they had been trans ported to when they were sent down by Cheif Obryan but no matter how many times they look they could not see Shaundrah any where.

"Shaundrahhhh!" Icheb yelled out for her.

There were a lot of sand around and some trees but they could see far in the distants and both of them could not see any one else on the surfis of the planit.

Harry hitted his badge. "hrry to Shaundrah."

It just made a BUZZZZZZ sound and Harry look over at Icheb with a express that looked very worried.

"Harry to Action Captain Tuvol."

"Tuvok here" he said back over the combadge.

"This is Harry and Itcheb here. We are on the stuface of the planet but there is no signing of Sahhaundrah."

"How illodgical I have got Mister Parris to look her up but it seems that there is a massive eye-on storm on the planit and we cannot get any readings of any thing in the area of the storm and it seems that Miss Shaundrah has gotten accidently bounced off that storm clod when we beam her down."

"Of course it is the only lodgical explanation." Icheb said "Should we try to find her now."

"No not at this momint the storm will clear shortly we expecting. We will bean you up to the ship to wait..."

"No please dont sir what if Shaundrah is still down here and she finds us she will be soooo lonely!" Harry said "Whyy dont you beam down some rashions and some water and stuff and we will set up a caomp here. I am sertain that Mister Icheb would be okay with that since he is good friends with Shaundrah too."

"Yeah totally!" Icheb.

"Okay will do"

Then suddenly there was some trasporting sparkle and then some boxes appeard and Icheb and Harry looked happy.

Mean while on the bridge a day or two later Captain Tuvop stood in front of the ships jumbotron.

"Lutenent Paris, any sign of Shaundrah or Comander Chakotay down there?"

"No Sir not even a little bit of them."

Tuvok said nothing but his eyes look pained and he began to pace around the breg of the ship.

"Keep searching, Paris!" Tucok said.

"I am... eye eye, Captain!" Paris said pasionately. "I won't stop or take a break til we find them sir."

Sectretly Paris felt very bad because he had a hunch the eye on storm would be there for longer than Tuvoj had guessed it would be there.

Shaundrah had fallen asleep in their shelter because the sound of rain made her fall asleep a lot. Chakotay had use his faser to start a fire by setting up some big rocks then shooting them and then tossing a lot of wood on them and thats how the fire was made. It was hot and just out side of the metal shelter.

Wile she was sleeping he had gotten awake and stood up and left the shelter but she did not notice that (because she was asleep).

Then she woke up and he was hone.

"CHAKOTAYYYY!" she shout.

He ran back to their shelter a minute later.

"is some thing wrong Shaundrah"? He looked PANICED.

I worried when you were not here!" she cryed.

Then sudenly she discovered that he was standing there in front of her with only his black tite pants on. He tooken off his shirt and he was standing there all swetty and tanned and with a tatoo on his shoulder (but it was okay because it was like an Indian tat with like ritual meaning not one of those like trashy ones like a flamming scull or a bunch of barb wire or some thing like that).

She look away her face burning at the sight of his 8 pack.

"I wanted to find us some food Sorry Shaundrah I didnt mean to scarring you." He said so quietly and sounding really guilty.

Shaundrahs heart beat began to speed up.

"Its okay I under stand thank you for trying to get us some foods"

Then he smile "Oh I already got us lots of food you see I am and Indian person and we naturly know nature and know how to surviving in the wild. I got us fish and berries and some stuff that look and taste kind of like potato and the trickorder says it is safe to eat."

"Wow you are really amazing Chakoty" she blushed.

Then he blushed too and he said "Really do you think so."

And she said "Really yeah I think so."

then they were quite for a couple minutes before Shaundrah could actually speak because Chakotay looked really beatiful for a man.

"Um, I guess I better take those fishes and stuff and start cooking them."

"Oh ya."

So she took them from his hand.

Then he was blushing some more and finally he said "I gotta go talk to my spirt guide in the forest okay um i'll be back in 20 minuits."

Before she could tell him anything else he had hurried away his mussely tanned back glinting in the sunshine. And so she started to chop up the food thinking the least she could do is give him a propper supper.

[Echo of Faith]

I decided to take a look at this story, but I just could not get past all of the errors. It is close to impossible to take your story seriously for a number of reasons...

1. You often misspell any number of basic words, including proper nouns from the show. I believe I once saw you spell 'Borg' incorrectly as 'Brog,' just to list one error out of many that popped out so vividly.

2. The characters do not talk like they do in the show. Tuvok would never describe his species, which for him is normal, as having 'pinty ears' to use your spelling. He would also never use the expression 'super logical.'

3. You write the story in the first person. This is supposed to be a Seven of Nine story, but you are writing from the perspective of what I assume is a 21st Century American human girl or young woman. This can be a valid writing style, but it is not what is advertised.

4. You use internet slang such as 'OMG' quite often. Unless the character is actually saying 'oh em gee,' then this is unacceptable in a serious work of literature, and even then, you should spell out the oh em gee.

I could go on, but quite frankly, this story is painful for me to even try to read, both as a writer and a fan of Star Trek. And if your cousin edited one of your chapters, then I hate to say it, but it seems as though she is a poor editor. (EDIT: I see that your cousin edited a different chapter, possibly more. I think she could still be better, but she definitely improved the quality over previous chapters, but not as much as your piano teacher did).) You seemed to make no use of the Spell Check feature at all, which is among the simplest things for any writer at all to do.

Some people have suggested that you are deliberately trolling the site, and for the life of me, I cannot rebut this conclusion. I simply find it so hard to believe that anyone who is a fan of a show as relatively serious as Star Trek can write something that is such an offense to the English language. If you are not a native English speaker, then I apologize, but given the Americanisms of your characters, I find this unlikely.

In short: You have a lot of work to do before you are likely to be taken seriously in any way as a writer. I wish you luck in improving your skills.

[dark vamp angle101]

Echo of Faith

I decided to take a look at this story, but I just could not get past all of the errors. It is close to impossible to take your story seriously for a number of reasons...

1. You often misspell any number of basic words, including proper nouns from the show. I believe I once saw you spell 'Borg' incorrectly as 'Brog,' just to list one error out of many that popped out so vividly.

2. The characters do not talk like they do in the show. Tuvok would never describe his species, which for him is normal, as having 'pinty ears' to use your spelling. He would also never use the expression 'super logical.'

3. You write the story in the first person. This is supposed to be a Seven of Nine story, but you are writing from the perspective of what I assume is a 21st Century American human girl or young woman. This can be a valid writing style, but it is not what is advertised.

4. You use internet slang such as 'OMG' quite often. Unless the character is actually saying 'oh em gee,' then this is unacceptable in a serious work of literature, and even then, you should spell out the oh em gee.

I could go on, but quite frankly, this story is painful for me to even try to read, both as a writer and a fan of Star Trek. And if your cousin edited one of your chapters, then I hate to say it, but it seems as though she is a poor editor. (EDIT: I see that your cousin edited a different chapter, possibly more. I think she could still be better, but she definitely improved the quality over previous chapters, but not as much as your piano teacher did).) You seemed to make no use of the Spell Check feature at all, which is among the simplest things for any writer at all to do.

Some people have suggested that you are deliberately trolling the site, and for the life of me, I cannot rebut this conclusion. I simply find it so hard to believe that anyone who is a fan of a show as relatively serious as Star Trek can write something that is such an offense to the English language. If you are not a native English speaker, then I apologize, but given the Americanisms of your characters, I find this unlikely.

In short: You have a lot of work to do before you are likely to be taken seriously in any way as a writer. I wish you luck in improving your skills.

thanx 4 at least trying and giving me constuctive critisism even if u did not like it much... i know my writtings not the best but i am trying to do better... somtimes its not so easy cuz i am limited in what i am aloud to read in my home schooling and also i have a learning problem with reading and writting and also numbers reading... u are right i am american oruginally and i only speaking English no other language but it would be awsome if i could speal japanese

BUT i think when i post the next few chapter you will definitly see some improvment because i have trying to incoporate the feed back i getting on fanfiction dot net and also on here gaia and using spell checker and aso a betta reader,..

[Pirate In A Jar]

Willowy Wisp

I like this.

Then again, I have a sense of humor. Subscribing to this thread.

Assuming this is intentional, it's the funniest s**t I've read in a very long time. Assuming it isn't, well... That just makes it one million percent better.

[dark vamp angle101]

a lot of ppl liked this chapter on fan fiction dot net also fyi i got an AWSOME betta reader for the chapter 20 and 21 and 22 but unfortunetly there is still 3 unbettad chapters to go before u get to saras bettad part sorry
Shaundrah yawned and stretched. She had never feel so good before as if she had gotten a 1000 hors of sleep. She smelled the air and it smelled so fresh like trees and not like the inside of Foyager and then she realized - OMG! - she was in a forets full of trees and actualy, she was inside a wriggly peice of tin that came from the detla flyler.

And next to her was...

CHAKOTAY!

But he was still 16 uears old. He wore a pair of tite black pants that looked kind of like parascuo skinnies and then he had no shirt on cuz she guessed it had gotten ripped off when he crashed the ship. The fire they had cook over the nite before was now just some little sparky bits and she smile thining about how they spend the whole night talking abbout their lives and the ship and going back to Earth and how they both loved jesus (oh BTW chackotay has now becoming Christain).

Then they had fallen asleep next to each other. Shaundrah worry that they would never see the crew agane, as it had now been a day and had not seen any 1.

Suddenly chakotays eye opened up and he smile softly at Shaundrah.

"hey"

"hey back" she say

Then he smiled sloftly.

She smiled back... and then he stood up

"Um so i guess we sholud go try to russel up some food eh... um... buddy" Chakotay say, not looking at her.

Shaundrah felt kind of bad for a minute that he call her BUDDY because she had felt totally like she liked him last night like a girl likes a guy and she had never talk so close and so long with any guy before.

"um Rigth. Foods!" she say "ummmmm... i'll go look for some vegtables."

"and I'll get some fish... brb..." he said his face all red and ran away.

Icheb and Harry splitted a protean bar and starred at each other over the fire pit, it had been cold the nite before up on top of the mountan where they had climed up to try to keep an eye out for Shaundrah or Chaktay.

But they had not seen any 1 through whole night and now they felt as if there was no wear for them to try to go after all Shaundrah and Chakotay could be ANYWHERE on the WHOLE surfis of the planit.

Icheb flipp open his triccorder.

"There is no use icheb, we hve tried to scan for them 100 times already and nothing... i want to find her as much as you..."Harry saying sadly, staring down at the floor.

"I doubt that!" Icheb shouted.

Harrys eyes squited at Icheb. "What is that suposed to mean?!"

"You know esactly what I mean!" Icheb scream back."

Harry stood suddenly and glarred down at Icheb with an angry stare. Icheb stood up- too and the 2 of them began to stare each other down for a fight like 2 cats that are going to fight with one another.

Before they could fight the commbafge on Harry beeped. Harry slapped his chest while still glaring at Icheb.

"Hi guys it's Tubok!" Tuvok's voice said "We have conductid several long-range scans of the ajointing nebula and have ditected 2 borg cubes that will be within scanning range of Voyager with in 20 minutes. We need to leave this system imediately to avoid being ditected by the borg."

"Oh no!" Icheb said "but Naomi and Chakotay will be left on the surfic!"

"unfortunitely, we will have to return for them lates. we will bean down some rashions and a homing beacon they can activate and a note that tells them that we had to hide out from the brog for a few days." Tuvoks voice was serious and sad "Okay Chef O'Brain, beam them up!"

Icheb and harry got ready for beam up and they felt a tingely sensation for a sec, just as if they started to beam up... but then they didn't!

"Tukov to Harry our trasporters are not functioning corectly with the eyeon storm on the surface. We will not be abel to bring you up not before the borg come within sensor distants of Voyager."

Icheb and Hary glance at one another with worry and their previos antagonisem was suddenly vanished. They both new what they had to do to keep voyager safe and also look after Shaunrah.

"Tuvok..." Harrys voice was deep and calm and manly "Go."

"But..." Tuvok protest.

"No, Lutenant Kim is right" Icheb said "Leave us here... the needs of the many..."

There was silents for a minute before Tuvock replied "Understood. Tuvok out."

Then Icheb and Hary starred up at the dark evening sky and watched as the glowing shape of Voyager in space... went into warp in a flash of light leaving them on this planet... possibly forever!

[dark vamp angle101]

Icheb and harry locked around and relized that even if Shandrah and/or chakotay was here on the planit, they would not be on the top of a totaly bear mountain top. both of them were very deprest at being left be hind and not know wear to start looking for Shaundrah.

"they would not be here its totally bear" said harry

"Rite! they need food and drinks and stuff and so do we" said Icheb At least until voyager comes back"

"burt how will we ever find them on a hole planet?"

"well from what we saw 90 persent of the planit is under water and the other 11 persent is on this hear land mass so we only got maybe 1000 kilometre to search and the transtorter does not have the capeability of transporting some one to the other side of the planet, so they gotta be around here!" Icheb say to Harry "And i bet if we look hard we can find some sines of life"

"YA! Like a borken ship, or may be some fires or some smok from fire!"

Suddenly they were happy again cause they have an idea. Then they start walking down to wear they had seen a river and start looking around for a fire or a bit of crash detla flyer. But as they walk down there was a giant aminal that jump out from a tree like a gorilla crossed with a gote but it was smaller and it had bigger teeth and it was green and then Icheb shooted it with the faser. Harry sigh with releaf but figure this would just be the 1st of many tribuleations. The gote gorilla fell over and did not atack them any more. Then they kept walking.


Shaundrah walked a long the lake bach with a baskit in her hand and it was full of oystars be cause she was collecting them for dinner. She cold see chakotay swim expertally across the water despiet the choppy waves all the way to a little eyeland. He wave at her and she wave back at him and she could immagine him smiling even though he was like almost a mile a way. He was catching fishes. he sun was shinning and she felt so rlaxed.

They had been on the planit now 3 hole days and now shadrah were starting to worry per happs they would be a bandoned here by Voyger. Wile they sat around the fire last nite she had a proached the subjact with Chakotay...

~~ BACK FALASH ~~


They lay on there backs starring up at tthe stars. Chakotay singing a song that was in his indian languige and it sounded so claming that Shaundrah was half a sleep. the fire crakled.

"chaktay..." she wispered.

"Yes shaundrah?"

"are... are you woried? It has been 2 full days since we were first hear and we have seen not 1 single person or herd 2 single person from Voyger."

"You thinking they have a bandon us"

Shaundrah sigh deepely. "Well is'nt it a possability?"

He was dedly silents for a long minute. Then finnally he started to talk.

"dose it really matter?"

Shandrah did not now how to answer that and her face grew hot. What was Chaktay sugesting? That he did not MIND stay here on this planit? That he did not CARE if Voyager never came back?

At her silents he stood and mutter some thing about needing a walk and then he went for a walk in the dark away from the camp. Shanudrah kep tlying next to the fire and starring up at the stars, thinking a bout what Chakotay had say.

~~ BACK TO NORMAL TILE~~

Shaundrah watch Chakotay across the water and pick up oystar. She deside after a minuet that she did not care if she went back to Voyager aither.


Icheb groned at his sore feet. Harry glarred back at Icheb and then Itcheb glarred back at Hary.

'Its not that bad crew man icheb!

He frown at Harry "I now that we gotta keep looking for Shandrah but i feel like i been walking for ever Lutenant Kom! we havent taken a brake for ours, and i know that my brog implanted feet are stronger than your Chinese human ones.!"

Hary sighed "Yore right Icheb I am just so worry about Shaundrah!"

"I under stand me too!"

Icheb sat down on a tree stamp and took of his shoe and pored all the sand out from it. Harry started to stretch and do some ty chee. They had been waking for 2 hole days, hopping that they wold eventully come across Shandrah or some sine of life. But so far no thing.

They were quite for a minuet just dranking some wather out of a bottel that they had brought and eating some protean bar. Then suddenly they heard a craking noise. Hary froze. Icheb open his mouth to talk then Harry put his finger to his mouth to say SHH without speaking. So Icheb said nothing. Then they stood up and then they hid behind a really big tree. They heard a craking sound again and some foot step walking away then there was silents.

'do you think its Shaudnrah or Chatkotay?"

"Mabey. Or mabey..." Harry swallow "its the... BROG."

Icheb gasp.

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER I WORK HARD ON IT AND I GOT MYSELF EVEN GOO BETTA READER FOR NET CHAPTER YOU WILL SEE BIG IMPROVMENT. I PROMISE!@!!

[Mademoiselle Black]

..If you don't want bad feedback, go away. Feedback that hurts is how you get better. Also, how do you expect someone to give you feedback when they can't read it?

[dark vamp angle101]

Mademoiselle Black

..If you don't want bad feedback, go away. Feedback that hurts is how you get better. Also, how do you expect someone to give you feedback when they can't read it?

i am ok with feed back that mabey isnt the most complamentery (i mean i dont like it but at least i under stand what u guys are saying and my betta reader can hlep out with that stuff), but i got realy mad when some ppl told me to gommit suicide witch i thought was EXTREMLY offensive!!!!! or like just writting "u suck" or xomething, that is not help full a toll.

[dark vamp angle101]

OK guyts i pormise this is the last chapie that i did with out my beta reader edit... she is v good she even went to a very difficult to get into college called patick henry colelge that is in Verginia!!!

Shaundrah was sitting next to the fire and then the sun went down and it was drak. The stafs came otu and then began to sprikle in the sky and she was sitting next to chakotay.

"shaundrah it is so beatiful"

"oh yes chakoay... it has been nearly 4 days and i am so happy even thou we have be a bandoned!"

"I am happy too and also you are so beutiful Shaundrah I have to tell you I have try to keep it a secret but i cannot any longar!"

He reached out with his hand... and touched her hand! Then they were holding hand next to the fire!

Shaundrha cold hardly beleave it and she nearly started hiper ventolaiting. Chakotay was sooooo cool and he loved talking about every thing with Shaundrah and he liked red vines and also the bible and all kinds of awsom stuff like that. He was also very good countenance in his face and she thought his tatoo was awsome. She had never met a guy who was so fun and cute except maybe Harry or Echeb. Except she knew she shold not get too attatched to him.

Then some one screamed and chakootay jumped up.

"somebody screamed!" he said

"Yes I herd it too, Chakotay!" she shouted

"i have got to help!"

"Yes me too CHakotay!" she shouted back.

Then they ran toward the screams as fast as they could but the screams were very faraway, so it took them a while and then as they got nearer, they realized that the screams were American screams.

"help help" some one yelled through the trees.

Chakotay kept running and shaundrah kept running behind them and suddenly they saw icheb and Harry Kim!

"Oh my gosh you are alive i am so glad to see you!" shaundrah yelled

But then she saw that 7 of 9 was also there!

"What are you doing hear, i thought you were in the brigg!" Chakotay shooted.

"Who the hell are you: said 7

"i am commander chakotay by the way I am 16 now!"

Then every one gasped. But then 7 turned to Shaundrah.

"What the eff are you doing here you litlte pain in the a**!" 7 shreeked at Shaundrah. "You are the only 1 whose ever defeted me in hand too hand conbat. I am gonna stab you with my nanapbobes!"

"I dont think so!" Harry shout.

"You gotta get thru me first!' Icheb shout.

'Me too!" Chakotay!

But 7 was too fast for them and hit them and they fell on the ground so SHaundrah pulled out her katana and began to slice at 7 but 7 was now a full borg and had lots of metal inplants and the katana just bounced off her inplants. Her katana made lots of spraks when they hit the inplants and it made a huge clanjing noise so it was a really cool fight.

Then the katana hit 7 in the leg and nearly cut it off and theire was blood squering all over the place and the inplants began to wirr and flash.

"You think you can stopping me, NEVER! I have captan Janeway in my brog cube and we shall kill her if you kill me and beside, you could not even keep me lock up in the brigg! I escape within ten miuntes"

Then Harry Kim picked up his faser and set it to kill and fired a shot but just as it was gonna kill her 7 activated some thing and she transported away in a ball of green lihts.

Then Harry and Icheb and Shaundrah and CHakotay huged and they all jump up and down with exitement.

"I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!" Shaundrah exclamed.

"ME TOO!" said Icheb adn Hary.

Then Harry and Icheb follow them back to the site of the Delta Falyer reckage. They had a bunch of protean bars and some other stuff from voyager like fasers and ticorders so that would be help full.

'we been using the reckage like a tent" said chakotay.

"Oh I see the bented metal is like a tent" said icheb 'but now we have some fasers we can use it like a saw or even like glue to melt the metals together"

"We will need a bigger shelter now that icheb and hary are here... it will be dark soon so we need to working quickly!"

Chkaotay nodded.

Icheb looked confuse 'you 2 have been sharring that tiny little shelter?"

Shaundrah look at chakotay and she felt her self blushing. Then they took out the fasers and tehy started cutting up bits of metal from the reckage of the ship with the faser beam and then they started soddering them together with the faster beams. Very quickly they made a nice little house that was two small boxes of metal with a rectangel hole cut in the front to make a door,.

"OK guys lets roll out our bed rolls and get some sleep" harry said

Then they all went to sleep in side there new house.

[dark vamp angle101]

authorsnote: OK here is new chapter if u are folowing along on FAN FICTION you will see on there i use spell chekcker but here i did not becase i was being told that the 'new vergion' was hard to read because the words the spell cheker choosing were ALL WONG. For instants the compute rspelled 'chackotay' as 'chayote' witch i dod not even know was a word... sad

***** rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl *****

Harry kim, commander chakotay and ichab and shaundrah sat down be side the fire pit. They were roosting marsh mellows . and they were telling ghost story's. Shaundrah was very scaredy, and the boys sat down closely so she would not feel so scared.

Then Shaundrah to;ld them a story.

"once… there… was… a bunch of star fleet officers… named HARRY KIM and ICHEB and SHAUNDRAH and CHAAKTAY and they were stranding on a planet in the middle of delta quadrent. They were round a fire, and eating some marsh mellows. When suddenly…. A BROG DRONE APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE and assemblated them all!"

Harry and icheb jumped but chakotay didn't because he was a commandeer and he had lots of experienced with scary things.

"That was pretty scary" aHrry said.

"Ya, I feel really jittery now like I can't even sleep!"

Icheb patted her sholder to try and clam her down, but she did not. After a few minuts the marsh mellows were gone and the other 2 went to sleep. Then Hary and Shaundrah was alone.

"So Shaundrah are you and chatokay in a relatonship now?"

"No we were just good friend! Though I think he seems like very nice guy and very good looking"

Harry looked sad.

"OH icheb you look good too and you are also a really great guy!" she exclaimed!

Harry looked more happier after she said that and then they starred at the sky for a while. Then suddenly a bear jumped out from the forest.

"RAWWWRRRR" it growelled.

"Saundrah I will protect you!" harry yelled and he began to wrestle the bear though it was like double his size and it had big teeth and claws that looked like batlaths.

The bare began to scratch and claw and roar and shaundrah tried to grab her katana but by the time she did Harry had punched the bear in the face and it ran away. shaundrah tried to say thank you to him but then she notice he had passed out on the dirt and he was injured. Blood squirting all over. from his shoulder that had a big gashes in it… and she screamed!

Chakotay and icheb came out and they gasped because even by the fire light they can see that harry was gashed up really bad.

"What happen!"

"A bear attacked us and then Harry beat it off"

"Oh wow!" Icheb gasped.

"come on we got to help get him into the tent so I can look after him… if not… he might…" Shaundrah gasped "DIE!"

So then they all picked up Harry and brought him into the shelter.

***
THATS THE END OF THSI GREAT CHAPIE GOD BLESS plz CLICK "LIKE" AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE OR YOU CAN FOLOW THIS STOREY ON FAN FICTON - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7089561/1/THE-NEW-GIRL-on-Voyager

[dark vamp angle101]

Authors Note As You cna see this chapter was edited by my good friend sara who right now is away at jorney to the hearth but did the edit a long time ago and if u dont like chaktay you probaly will not like this chapetr sry.

Chapter 21: Shaundrah is Confused

Shaundrah had gotten into a good routine. She got up in the morning very early. She went and prayed for a while. She took a bath in the river far away that the boys could not look at her. She cooked some food for the boys. Then she read her Bible for a while. Then she went and got some vegetables and oysters. Icheb and Chackotay and Harry would go out and they would catch crabs and fish. They would also shoot bears and deer and other forest animals. Then Shaundrah would make dinner with that stuff.

Shaundrah noticed that a lot of the time, Icheb and Chackotay and Harry would not talk. They were quiet. Shaundrah thought maybe they were like depressed because Voyager had totally ditched them on the planet. But then she realized that they all were happy to talk to her.

There were lots of storms on the planet. After 2 weeks, Shaundrah counted 11 storms. They were really big storms and there were thunder and lightning that were way bigger than any she had ever seen in Wainfleet. Every time she sat in the shelter with the other boys with only the candle to keep the light and they listened to the wind and cracking noise, afraid that the shelter would be blown away. But it wasn't.

She went into one of the other rooms so she could get a snack. It was some berries that tasted just like straberry twizzlers. Then she heard the sound of footsteps. It was Harry! He looked really shy and he smiled at her and in the candle light, she thought maybe he was even blushing.

"Um hi, Harry." she said shyly.

"Hi, Shaundrah." He looked down and he scuffled his shiney starfleet shoe on the dirt ground. "I just wanted to come in and say something I wanted to say for LOTS of months now."

Shaundrah couldn't even eat the twizzlers berry she was so startled by him. "What... what is it Harry?"

He swallowed and Shaundrah could hear it. You could hear a pine drop.

"Shaundrah I think you are so smart and so easy to joke around with, you are just so intelligent, and just the kind of girl I have always liked!" He looked up into her crystal sapphire eyes. "Shaundrah, I am getting to the age where I really need a wife, one who will be a brilliant person and I am looking for a girl who is serious in her intentions!"

She could not answer. It was all too much for her. Was Harry really asking her to court him? Wow! She had no idea! I mean, he was cool, and he loved lots of the same things as she did, and they joked around a lot, and ate lots of lunches together, and he was cute and really considered a good guy in the crew, but she had never thought that he might be interested in her!

"Harry, I need to... to think..." she said, but then it was all too much for her, and suddenly, she swayed and passed out.

Shaundrah opened her eyes in her bedroom but it was the bedroom of their metal shelter on the planet. When she opened her eyes she saw Icheb leaning over her staring into her ocean blue eyes with his own dark ones.

In the background, Shaundrah could hear arguing. It was Chackotay and Harry!

"What the hell did you do to her Ensine Kim?"

"Nothing Commander I just had a conversation with her and she seemed a little overwhelmed and she passed out and hit her head!"

"Shaundrah is a strong girl she would not just randomly pass out, I think there is more to this then what your saying to me, but at this point, I think we both better get some sleep since Shaundrah is okay. We can talk about it in the morning when I'm less mad!"

"Okay Commander good night."

Then the arguing stopped. Icheb sighed.

"You have a bump on your head. You hit it on the counter. But with my borgeyes I can see better than most people and I can basically work like a tri corder and I analyzed you. I put some ice on your head and you'll be okay."

"Wow thank you Icheb. You saved me."

Icheb blushed. "You are a very good friend to me, and you are probably the most beautiful girl in the ship, Shaundrah. You must know that every guy thinks you're so cute..." He paused... "Including me!"

"Icheb... you know I can't just date around! That's not what the Lord wants from us!"

"I know that, Shaundrah! I... I'm serious about you! I am a serious person! You are more beautiful than anyone on the ship and you deserve and will get my TOTAL loyalty!"

"Oh my... I don't know what to say, Icheb..."

Shaundrah could say NOTHING. She had no idea that Icheb also was interested in courting her! He always seemed so serious whenever they worked in engineering together or ate dinner together or studied scripture with her. After all, he was a bog, and they were very serious because of their implants and collective brain. That's probably why she didn't guess his feelings!

"Don't say anything, Shaundrah. Just pray about it," he whispered.

Then he stood. He looked back at her from the doorway painfully. Then he left. She was SO confused! What to do? Who to choose? They were both such totally cool guys!

Then she blew out the candle and went to sleep.

[dark vamp angle101]

Chapter 22 A DECISION IS MADE
heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart heart

Shaundrah woke in the morning with the golden sunshine shining on her hair. She stretched in bed and put on her puffy slippers that she had made from some puffy plants around here and she thought about what she was going to do in the day. Then she kneeled down and she said a prayer to God asking him to bless her and Harry and Icheb and also Chakotay and to keep them safe. Then she got up and she made her bed. She did some house hold chores and the boys were outside so she felt like she could think alone about the fact that both HARRY and ICHEB wanted to eventually marry her!

Then she looked outside because there was a HUGE CRACKING NOISE!

One of the gorilla gote creatures was in their garden... and Icbeh was in the garden too but didn't notice the gote-gorilla creature! He was BACK! His back was turn to the gote-gorilla creature and he was whisteling as he worked in the garden sun. He was in mortal danger of his life!

"Icheb!" Shaundrah screamed through the window "You gotta run there is a gigantic creature like a goat that looks like a gorilla standing behind you!"

He turned around and then he tried to run away but the creature was faster than him and jumped him in a gigantic ball of evil looking silver fur! Icheb begn to scream.

"Help Help!" Shaundrah screamed too.

Then Chakotay and Harry ran outside and Shaundrah ran outside too. Then the creature and Icheb were rolling around on the ground but the animal was like fifteen times as big as Icheb (since obviously Icheb is very skinny and gorillas are pretty big) so it was winning the wrestling match!

Then suddenly the animal looked over at Shaundrah with the most evil and preditory gaze... and Shaundrah gasped and nearly passed out. But she didn't. Then Icheb looked very angry and suddenly very borg-ish and then... NANAPROBE strings SHOT from his hands and into the evil gorilla slash gote alien!

It suddenly turned all gray and fell off Icheb. Shaundrah thought it had died... but then... it started to... TURN GRAY AND SHOOT METAL BITS OUT OF ITS FURRY SKIN! Shaundrah screamed and Icheb looked terified.

"Run! We've got to get in the shelter!" Chakotay shouted "Now everyone! NOW THAT'S AN ORDER!"

Chakotay's comanding voice shot everyone into action. Icheb jumped off the ground. Harry ran into the metal shelter. Then the rest of them followed him in. Then they slammed the door and peeked out the windows (they had made the windows by carving little holes in the metal side of the scrap bits of the ship that they had put together to make their house).

The evil creature had turned into... a half alien primate/goat, half borg! Its long horns were now covered in silver metal and flashing lights! Its giant hands were covered in lights and wires and stuff!

"I did not know that animals could become borg!" Harry whispered.

"Me neither" said Icheb "I just acted on instinct! I had to protect Shaundrah... everyone..."

"Well now we got a half borg half alien animal out there, and he's not happy!" Chakotay hissed "Be quiet and maybe he will go away..."

"I got a plan, we might be able to faser him while he walks away or something" Harry said.

"Maybe..." Chakotay did not look convinced.

Then they were very quiet and the animal started to walk away but then suddenly Harry sneezed. The evil goat creature combined with borg implants heard that sneeze and rampaged toward the shelter! He threw himself into the door and it bent! Then he tried to brake through the window but was unable to break through. He began to jump on the roof.

"What if he breaks through" said Icheb.

"No, that's titanium, it is very unlikely he will break through, it's tough metal" said Chakotay.

"But... what if he... ADAPTS?" said Icheb.

Then they all shivered because who knew how smart a two thousand pound half-animal half-borg could be.

The animal seemed to have gotten tired and walked away at sunset but Shaundrah still felt uneasy. Eventually they all decided it would be a good idea to go to bed. So they all went their separate bedrooms. But Shaundrah kept tossing and turning and she never could fall asleep. She was nervous thinking that the evil half borg creature might at any time beat down the doors and asemblate them in their sleep.

She got up intending herself to make a tea. But who did she see when she got up. CHAKOTAY! He was sitting beside the open window in the dark, holding a faser!

"Oh! Chakotay! You are still awake it must be oh 24 hours!"

"Yes... yes I am Shaundrah... you see I could not sleep."

"Oh me neither it is so scary to think that... THING... is prowling around there wanting to asemblate us."

"No... I couldn't sleep, thinking you might be in danger." He continued to stare out the window all manly and brooding. "I'll protect you don't worry Shaundrah."

"Oh Chakotay! You are so brave."

He still did not look at her because he was pointing his faser out the window at the ready to shoot any creatures lurking out there.

"You were so calm and demure under pressure today. A lot of girls would not be so tough and yet so feminine. I like that in you, Shaundrah. You are not just book smart you are also pious and can deal with any danger that comes your way."

"Oh... thank you, Chakotay. I thought you were so brave and awesome today, too. I..." she blushed "Well you took command and saved us all."

"Shaundrah it seems like we are going to be here a long time and I am sure that Harry and Icheb have already told you that they are interested in you but I wanted you to know that I feel God is leading us to be together. I think we are very similar and I think you realize that today when we were the 2 cool heads in a very pressurized and stressed situation."

"I... I agree, Chakotay. We are very similar."

"I suppose you will want time to think it over. I know I am not the only guy here who is interest in you."

Shaundrah thought it over and she knew from looking at Chakotay with his gun in the window and his tough expression but that he had opened his heart to her tonight that he was the one for her.

"I don't have to wait, Chakotay. I decided on you already." heart heart heart heart