Talon Moonfeather
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- Posted: Fri, 12 Nov 2004 01:08:11 +0000
Well, I've only got a part of the first chapter done, and it all centers around my original character, letting you get to know her a little, and telling you about her past all that... Mind you, it isn't done, but I'd like to know if I should continue with the story I've got, and if Tori is a Mary-Sue. I really do value your opinions, so be frank and brutally honest when replying. I'll give you a brief over-view of the plot before you read.
Tori is kidnapped when she's little, and is forced into slavery. On the day she is to be sold, she is rescued by a band of ninjas, only to fall into the hands of her original captor. With her own wits and skills, she escapes, and ends up at the Kamiya dojo, where she meets Kenshin and the others. She falls in love with Kenshin, but due to her shady past, and Kenshin's feelings for Kaouru, she doesn't persue her feelings. But what she doesn't know is that Kenshin may be developing feelings of his own...
Anyhoo, I've only written up to the part where she is recaptured by the guy who kidnapped her in the first place, so please tell me if it's good or not, and what I can do to make it better! Thank you!
"Tori? Your father wishes to see you," her mother said quietly, emerging from her husbands room, where he lay on his death bed. Tori, her 12-year-old body shaking with the stoic effort of keeping her tears from falling, nodded her head curtly and padded bare-foot to her fathers bed. Blinking rapidly, she erased all traces of tears from her light gray eyes, so as not to upset her sickly father.
"Father," she said quietly, her normally loud and laughing voice subdued and void of all emotion, seemed to fill the deep silence of the room. He raised his deathly-white hand, and beckoned her forward. Giving a barely imperceptible sob, she rushed to her father's side, collapsing beside him and clasping his cold hand in her own warm and life-filled one.
"My daughter... My beloved daughter, my only heir..." he said softly, his thumb rubbing slowly over the back of her hand, seeming to draw strength from his daughter's unmistakably fiery life source. His pale skin gained a tinge of color, his black hair, now streaked with gray, seemed to gain back some of it's sheen. His eyes, the same silver-gray color as her own retained some they're former liveliness.
"My time to leave this place has come, my little bird."
"No!" she gasped, shaking her head, her raven-wing black hair tumbling from its disheveled pony tail to fall about her face, which was beginning to lose it's babyishness, and develop into that of a lovely young woman.
"Hush, bird, and let me speak," he said, using his nickname for her, for her name literally meant bird. "You are growing up, bird, and spreading your wings. Be sure not to fly too far away from home too soon, and leave your mother alone. But also do not be afraid to warm your wings to the sun, and explore this wonderful word, bird." Tori was crying now, tears spilling from her almost silver-like eyes as she nodded silently at her fathers words.
"I understand, Father." Her father smiled then, and a peaceful look came over him.
"I know you do. You've always been such a bright young girl, and so lovely... You are a jewel among coal, bird, but you have yet to shine your brightest. And remember not to outshine others who are less bright, bird, for it will only make your beauty glaring and displeasing to the eye. Do you understand?" Again Tori nodded and said she did.
"Be humble, but do not hide who you are. Be gentle, but be strong. Be truthful, honorable, and bring honor to our name. If you follow these words, my little bird, you will have a good life."
"Oh, Father! I want you here with me! How will I know what to do, how to act? When to shine, and when to be content to glow? Father, who will guide me?" Again her father smiled, and a glimmer of his old, happy and healthy self showed through the sickness that had stolen him
from Tori just a year ago.
"I will be with you. In your heart, little bird. You will know." Raising his hand, he touched the cheek of his only child, who took after him not only in looks, but in spirit, and who showed a knack for swordsmanship, a rare talent among anyone, let alone a girl. But when she had been born, amidst that worst storm the area had seen in many a year, Udon had suspected his little bird would be special, and now he knew for certain that she would be. There were great things in her future, and the only thing he regretted about this damned illness was that he wouldn't be there in person to see these things unfold.
"Father..." she said, unable to continue speaking as sadness and sorrow overwhelmed her.
"Good bye, my little bird. Take care of your mother, and spread your wings..." Dropping his hand, Tori gave another sob as Udon closed his eyes. Calling for her mother, the woman rushed into the room, but was too late. Udon had already passed away, the same peaceful smile on his face that had been there the day they had first wed.
"Oh, Udon..." Taka said, shaking her head, her loosely bound brown hair swaying with the motion. Her bright blue eyes were filled with tears, but there was also a sense of peace in them, akin to the look in her father's eyes. She couldn't take it any more. Tori stood up and rushed from the room, and without stopping to put on her sandals she ran outside and threw herself beneath the clutch of Sakura trees that marked the end of their property. It was spring, and the lovely red and pink blooms of the Sakura tree were out in full force, the gentle spring breeze stirring the fragrant blossoms and sending the silky soft petals drifting softly to drape themselves upon the shaking and quivering body of young Tori in what seemed like a sympathetic blanket of scent and color. Taka stood in the window, watching her daughter cry for the first time since she was a babe, and knew that she could offer no greater comfort than the flowers of the Sakura tree, or the spirit of her father that would forever be with her, in her looks and in her character. Shaking her lovely head, she went to ready one of the two horses the Tanaka family owned so she could go arrange for the funeral arrangements for her late husband. When she returned later that evening, she was horrified to find Tori gone, and a haunting note nailed to the door. With a shaking hand she tore the message from the door, and broke into heart wrenching tears as she read the final good-byes written in her daughters hand.
"Dearest Mother, I'm being forced to leave against my will. As we all know there is a war sweeping through our country, and there a bands of renegades that roam the country side. One such group has come to our home while you were gone, and have allowed me the single luxury of leaving you a good-bye note. I love you, Mother, and I know Father will keep watch over me while I am gone. I will return one day- doubt it not. Good-bye, Mother." Taka was sure her daughter's last vow would never come true, and she was correct in believing so. No less than four years later Taka died, alone, in the same house, and there wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that it was from a broken heart. She was buried next to her husband, where three headstones rested, the last of the trio inscribed with the name of Tori Tanaka, the date of her birth, and the date of her kidnapping.
4 Years Later
"Get a move on, Kyoko! I haven't got all day, and your new master isn't going to appreciate your being late!" Glaring back at the fat slave dealer, Kyoko tried to keep her composure. She was bound and gagged, tied down to the horse that was carrying her. Her oddly colored gray eyes were filled with a burning anger and a deep resignation towards her fate as the slave of a rich, pompous idiot who fancies himself a man of culture and sophistication. Her midnight blue-black tresses were tied back in a loose ponytail, her face void of make up and emotion. She was pretty, with a full mouth, a pert nose, a fair complexion, and high cheek bones. She was a classic beauty, but with her face pale and her eyes filled with such negative emotions, her face drawn and tight, she didn't look or feel like she was beautiful.
"Shut up, you damn baka. My hands are bound, my belly is empty, and I'm about to be sold into slavery. I'm not in any hurry to get there," she retorted, her spirit flaring with rage and horrified fear. It was the first time her fiery spirit had shown itself, and Kyoko herself was surprised at her outburst. Knowing what was about to come, she tensed her back and waited for the whip lash to come. But it never did. Hearing a gurgling sound, she turned around, and saw the fat slave driver fall from his horse, clutching his throat as blood spurted from it. Feeling panic rise from her stomach like a fountain of terror she looked around her, but all she could see were the trees moving in the slight spring breeze. Struggling with the bindings around her wrists, she steeled herself for the pain of having the coarse rope grate against her tender skin. Still looking around frantically, words from her father came back to her, like a whisper borne upon the wind.
"Let your senses surpass your own physical limitations. Forget your sight, and let your ears, nose, and instincts guide you. I have faith in your feelings, Tori..." Closing her eyes, and stopping her fight with the cord, she listened, sniffed, and let her instincts, her feelings, guide her actions. For a moment there was nothing, and then... There! Swinging to her left, she confronted her attacker.
"If you kill me, I will lay a cruse upon you, and the rest of your family for the rest of eternity, and you will become sterile in your efforts to produce children," she said quickly to the masked man, speaking the first words that came to her mind.
"I- What?"
"You heard me. Now, untie me before I charge you with this horse." Her voice held such command, such certainty that he would obey her, that the man had no choice but to untie her. Giving a sigh of relief, she made no complaint about her bleeding wrists, nor did she even wince as her unclad feet struck a sharp rock. The ninja seemed to be impressed with her, if a little amazed. Giving himself a moment, he looked the slight girl over, feeling a purely male reaction to her. She was small, both short and slender, but muscled, as if she spent special care on keeping her body in shape. Her kimono, if it could even be called a kimono, it consisted of so little cloth, was a rich red color, with intricate designs upon it, her small, lithe body displayed for all to see. Her breasts were full and high, but not so big as they looked unnatural on her small frame, and her smooth legs were revealed up to her thigh, and her arms were bare. She was obviously a slave of pleasure, meant to satisfy the lusty hungers of a rich man somewhere in Kyoto or Tokyo.
"What's your name, Jou-chan?"
"Kyoko. I mean, Tori. Tori Tanaka."
"Well, which is it? Kyoko or Tori?"
"It's Tori. Kyoko is the name he gave me," she said, motioning to the now lifeless body of the slave driver. The ninja shook his head.
"The audacity of you... It's odd to find such spirit in a slave... But you seem to be untouched and pure. Master Tai will certainly be pleased with you... Come with me, if you don't want to die." Realizing she really had no choice, she heaved a sigh and followed him, appalled at how easily she fell back into the routine of receiving and following orders. The man took of his mask, to reveal a fairly attractive face. He hadn't shaven in a few days, by the look of the brown stubble upon his jaw and cheeks. His eyes were a mesmerizing black color, and seemed to hold an intelligence that not only came with living life, but with seeing much within those years upon earth. She was surprised at her reaction to him, for she had never had even an inkling towards wanting a man, but this ninja, her unintentional savior, had captured her curiosity. Still, after so many years of captivity and slavery, she was averse to trusting any man, even one so honest and good looking as this one.
"Delivered from the hands of a slave driver into the hands of a ninja. Gods, why do you torment me so?" While she had been speaking under her breath, the man had motioned for his companions to join him, and introductions were made. She was uncomfortable in the presence of so many men. Especially men who were trained in the art of stealth and killing, and probably had gone too long without a woman. She prayed they could show some restraint, or that she didn't strike anyone as attractive.
"So, Tori-dono will joining us. Master Tai will be most pleased with another woman." Tori's gray eyes widened, and she was suddenly very afraid, more afraid then she had been before. So she was to be saved for their leader. She gulped, and tried to hide her fright. Worry not, my little bird... again came the voice of her father, drifting lazily on the tide of memories. Bowing low to the group of ninjas, she was soon given clothes to change into that were much more suitable for traveling. That night they camped within the woods, and she was relieved to see the men gave her substantial space to bathe, dress, and sleep. The next morning they started the trek to their base, which was surprisingly close. That night she was again given fresh clothes, and food, and was treated with an equality that was almost scary after her years in slavery.
"Come now, Tori-dono. Master Tai does not like to be kept waiting, but he's given you time to collect yourself and get ready, but he grows impatient to meet the fiery bird who has so captured the hearts of the Bear Ninjas," Kane, the ninja who had saved her from her life of slavery, said, his brown hair cut short and his face now clean shaven. He cleaned up nicely, and he was even more striking to her now, Tori noticed. Blushing furiously, both at her reaction to Kane, and at his compliment. Tori nodded. Smoothing out her new, modest kimono, she nodded.
"Let's go then." Passing through the camp with a nod every now and then to the ninjas who had become her rescue party, all of which she felt a deep connection with, she was led to the largest of the make-shift dwellings, where the infamous Master Tai slept and conducted business. Taking a deep breath, she smiled a little as Kane offered her a reassuring and friendly smile. Taking heart, she tried to shake off the four years of docility and timidity that the slavery had put upon her, and present a bold front, like the one she had used when she had first met Kane. Entering the shelter with a knock, she bowed lowly and stood there until he told her to come forward. Lifting her eyes from the floor, she was stunned when she met gazes with... Tai! Stifling a gasp of horror, she stumbled back.
"Gods above! Delivered from the puppet to come face-to-face with the marionette!" she exclaimed, her fear once again making her forget about her slavery-induced faint-heartedness. The man smiled a sickening grin, and walked forward, his tall, lanky frame rippling with powerful muscle. His hair was sin black, his eyes a startling blue.
"So... You recognixe me...Yes, it was I who stole you away from your family. Even then, I could tell you were for me, love." He reached out and touched her hair, and she recoiled in utter disgust. "That's why I had Kane go 'rescue' you. Not that he had any knowledge of the true nature of his mission," he added when Tori's eyes betrayed her hurt feelings of hearing Kane's name.
"Now... Come over here. I wish to inspect you," Tai said in a tone that brooked no argument.
So, there you have! What did you think?
Tori is kidnapped when she's little, and is forced into slavery. On the day she is to be sold, she is rescued by a band of ninjas, only to fall into the hands of her original captor. With her own wits and skills, she escapes, and ends up at the Kamiya dojo, where she meets Kenshin and the others. She falls in love with Kenshin, but due to her shady past, and Kenshin's feelings for Kaouru, she doesn't persue her feelings. But what she doesn't know is that Kenshin may be developing feelings of his own...
Anyhoo, I've only written up to the part where she is recaptured by the guy who kidnapped her in the first place, so please tell me if it's good or not, and what I can do to make it better! Thank you!
"Tori? Your father wishes to see you," her mother said quietly, emerging from her husbands room, where he lay on his death bed. Tori, her 12-year-old body shaking with the stoic effort of keeping her tears from falling, nodded her head curtly and padded bare-foot to her fathers bed. Blinking rapidly, she erased all traces of tears from her light gray eyes, so as not to upset her sickly father.
"Father," she said quietly, her normally loud and laughing voice subdued and void of all emotion, seemed to fill the deep silence of the room. He raised his deathly-white hand, and beckoned her forward. Giving a barely imperceptible sob, she rushed to her father's side, collapsing beside him and clasping his cold hand in her own warm and life-filled one.
"My daughter... My beloved daughter, my only heir..." he said softly, his thumb rubbing slowly over the back of her hand, seeming to draw strength from his daughter's unmistakably fiery life source. His pale skin gained a tinge of color, his black hair, now streaked with gray, seemed to gain back some of it's sheen. His eyes, the same silver-gray color as her own retained some they're former liveliness.
"My time to leave this place has come, my little bird."
"No!" she gasped, shaking her head, her raven-wing black hair tumbling from its disheveled pony tail to fall about her face, which was beginning to lose it's babyishness, and develop into that of a lovely young woman.
"Hush, bird, and let me speak," he said, using his nickname for her, for her name literally meant bird. "You are growing up, bird, and spreading your wings. Be sure not to fly too far away from home too soon, and leave your mother alone. But also do not be afraid to warm your wings to the sun, and explore this wonderful word, bird." Tori was crying now, tears spilling from her almost silver-like eyes as she nodded silently at her fathers words.
"I understand, Father." Her father smiled then, and a peaceful look came over him.
"I know you do. You've always been such a bright young girl, and so lovely... You are a jewel among coal, bird, but you have yet to shine your brightest. And remember not to outshine others who are less bright, bird, for it will only make your beauty glaring and displeasing to the eye. Do you understand?" Again Tori nodded and said she did.
"Be humble, but do not hide who you are. Be gentle, but be strong. Be truthful, honorable, and bring honor to our name. If you follow these words, my little bird, you will have a good life."
"Oh, Father! I want you here with me! How will I know what to do, how to act? When to shine, and when to be content to glow? Father, who will guide me?" Again her father smiled, and a glimmer of his old, happy and healthy self showed through the sickness that had stolen him
from Tori just a year ago.
"I will be with you. In your heart, little bird. You will know." Raising his hand, he touched the cheek of his only child, who took after him not only in looks, but in spirit, and who showed a knack for swordsmanship, a rare talent among anyone, let alone a girl. But when she had been born, amidst that worst storm the area had seen in many a year, Udon had suspected his little bird would be special, and now he knew for certain that she would be. There were great things in her future, and the only thing he regretted about this damned illness was that he wouldn't be there in person to see these things unfold.
"Father..." she said, unable to continue speaking as sadness and sorrow overwhelmed her.
"Good bye, my little bird. Take care of your mother, and spread your wings..." Dropping his hand, Tori gave another sob as Udon closed his eyes. Calling for her mother, the woman rushed into the room, but was too late. Udon had already passed away, the same peaceful smile on his face that had been there the day they had first wed.
"Oh, Udon..." Taka said, shaking her head, her loosely bound brown hair swaying with the motion. Her bright blue eyes were filled with tears, but there was also a sense of peace in them, akin to the look in her father's eyes. She couldn't take it any more. Tori stood up and rushed from the room, and without stopping to put on her sandals she ran outside and threw herself beneath the clutch of Sakura trees that marked the end of their property. It was spring, and the lovely red and pink blooms of the Sakura tree were out in full force, the gentle spring breeze stirring the fragrant blossoms and sending the silky soft petals drifting softly to drape themselves upon the shaking and quivering body of young Tori in what seemed like a sympathetic blanket of scent and color. Taka stood in the window, watching her daughter cry for the first time since she was a babe, and knew that she could offer no greater comfort than the flowers of the Sakura tree, or the spirit of her father that would forever be with her, in her looks and in her character. Shaking her lovely head, she went to ready one of the two horses the Tanaka family owned so she could go arrange for the funeral arrangements for her late husband. When she returned later that evening, she was horrified to find Tori gone, and a haunting note nailed to the door. With a shaking hand she tore the message from the door, and broke into heart wrenching tears as she read the final good-byes written in her daughters hand.
"Dearest Mother, I'm being forced to leave against my will. As we all know there is a war sweeping through our country, and there a bands of renegades that roam the country side. One such group has come to our home while you were gone, and have allowed me the single luxury of leaving you a good-bye note. I love you, Mother, and I know Father will keep watch over me while I am gone. I will return one day- doubt it not. Good-bye, Mother." Taka was sure her daughter's last vow would never come true, and she was correct in believing so. No less than four years later Taka died, alone, in the same house, and there wasn't a doubt in anyone's mind that it was from a broken heart. She was buried next to her husband, where three headstones rested, the last of the trio inscribed with the name of Tori Tanaka, the date of her birth, and the date of her kidnapping.
4 Years Later
"Get a move on, Kyoko! I haven't got all day, and your new master isn't going to appreciate your being late!" Glaring back at the fat slave dealer, Kyoko tried to keep her composure. She was bound and gagged, tied down to the horse that was carrying her. Her oddly colored gray eyes were filled with a burning anger and a deep resignation towards her fate as the slave of a rich, pompous idiot who fancies himself a man of culture and sophistication. Her midnight blue-black tresses were tied back in a loose ponytail, her face void of make up and emotion. She was pretty, with a full mouth, a pert nose, a fair complexion, and high cheek bones. She was a classic beauty, but with her face pale and her eyes filled with such negative emotions, her face drawn and tight, she didn't look or feel like she was beautiful.
"Shut up, you damn baka. My hands are bound, my belly is empty, and I'm about to be sold into slavery. I'm not in any hurry to get there," she retorted, her spirit flaring with rage and horrified fear. It was the first time her fiery spirit had shown itself, and Kyoko herself was surprised at her outburst. Knowing what was about to come, she tensed her back and waited for the whip lash to come. But it never did. Hearing a gurgling sound, she turned around, and saw the fat slave driver fall from his horse, clutching his throat as blood spurted from it. Feeling panic rise from her stomach like a fountain of terror she looked around her, but all she could see were the trees moving in the slight spring breeze. Struggling with the bindings around her wrists, she steeled herself for the pain of having the coarse rope grate against her tender skin. Still looking around frantically, words from her father came back to her, like a whisper borne upon the wind.
"Let your senses surpass your own physical limitations. Forget your sight, and let your ears, nose, and instincts guide you. I have faith in your feelings, Tori..." Closing her eyes, and stopping her fight with the cord, she listened, sniffed, and let her instincts, her feelings, guide her actions. For a moment there was nothing, and then... There! Swinging to her left, she confronted her attacker.
"If you kill me, I will lay a cruse upon you, and the rest of your family for the rest of eternity, and you will become sterile in your efforts to produce children," she said quickly to the masked man, speaking the first words that came to her mind.
"I- What?"
"You heard me. Now, untie me before I charge you with this horse." Her voice held such command, such certainty that he would obey her, that the man had no choice but to untie her. Giving a sigh of relief, she made no complaint about her bleeding wrists, nor did she even wince as her unclad feet struck a sharp rock. The ninja seemed to be impressed with her, if a little amazed. Giving himself a moment, he looked the slight girl over, feeling a purely male reaction to her. She was small, both short and slender, but muscled, as if she spent special care on keeping her body in shape. Her kimono, if it could even be called a kimono, it consisted of so little cloth, was a rich red color, with intricate designs upon it, her small, lithe body displayed for all to see. Her breasts were full and high, but not so big as they looked unnatural on her small frame, and her smooth legs were revealed up to her thigh, and her arms were bare. She was obviously a slave of pleasure, meant to satisfy the lusty hungers of a rich man somewhere in Kyoto or Tokyo.
"What's your name, Jou-chan?"
"Kyoko. I mean, Tori. Tori Tanaka."
"Well, which is it? Kyoko or Tori?"
"It's Tori. Kyoko is the name he gave me," she said, motioning to the now lifeless body of the slave driver. The ninja shook his head.
"The audacity of you... It's odd to find such spirit in a slave... But you seem to be untouched and pure. Master Tai will certainly be pleased with you... Come with me, if you don't want to die." Realizing she really had no choice, she heaved a sigh and followed him, appalled at how easily she fell back into the routine of receiving and following orders. The man took of his mask, to reveal a fairly attractive face. He hadn't shaven in a few days, by the look of the brown stubble upon his jaw and cheeks. His eyes were a mesmerizing black color, and seemed to hold an intelligence that not only came with living life, but with seeing much within those years upon earth. She was surprised at her reaction to him, for she had never had even an inkling towards wanting a man, but this ninja, her unintentional savior, had captured her curiosity. Still, after so many years of captivity and slavery, she was averse to trusting any man, even one so honest and good looking as this one.
"Delivered from the hands of a slave driver into the hands of a ninja. Gods, why do you torment me so?" While she had been speaking under her breath, the man had motioned for his companions to join him, and introductions were made. She was uncomfortable in the presence of so many men. Especially men who were trained in the art of stealth and killing, and probably had gone too long without a woman. She prayed they could show some restraint, or that she didn't strike anyone as attractive.
"So, Tori-dono will joining us. Master Tai will be most pleased with another woman." Tori's gray eyes widened, and she was suddenly very afraid, more afraid then she had been before. So she was to be saved for their leader. She gulped, and tried to hide her fright. Worry not, my little bird... again came the voice of her father, drifting lazily on the tide of memories. Bowing low to the group of ninjas, she was soon given clothes to change into that were much more suitable for traveling. That night they camped within the woods, and she was relieved to see the men gave her substantial space to bathe, dress, and sleep. The next morning they started the trek to their base, which was surprisingly close. That night she was again given fresh clothes, and food, and was treated with an equality that was almost scary after her years in slavery.
"Come now, Tori-dono. Master Tai does not like to be kept waiting, but he's given you time to collect yourself and get ready, but he grows impatient to meet the fiery bird who has so captured the hearts of the Bear Ninjas," Kane, the ninja who had saved her from her life of slavery, said, his brown hair cut short and his face now clean shaven. He cleaned up nicely, and he was even more striking to her now, Tori noticed. Blushing furiously, both at her reaction to Kane, and at his compliment. Tori nodded. Smoothing out her new, modest kimono, she nodded.
"Let's go then." Passing through the camp with a nod every now and then to the ninjas who had become her rescue party, all of which she felt a deep connection with, she was led to the largest of the make-shift dwellings, where the infamous Master Tai slept and conducted business. Taking a deep breath, she smiled a little as Kane offered her a reassuring and friendly smile. Taking heart, she tried to shake off the four years of docility and timidity that the slavery had put upon her, and present a bold front, like the one she had used when she had first met Kane. Entering the shelter with a knock, she bowed lowly and stood there until he told her to come forward. Lifting her eyes from the floor, she was stunned when she met gazes with... Tai! Stifling a gasp of horror, she stumbled back.
"Gods above! Delivered from the puppet to come face-to-face with the marionette!" she exclaimed, her fear once again making her forget about her slavery-induced faint-heartedness. The man smiled a sickening grin, and walked forward, his tall, lanky frame rippling with powerful muscle. His hair was sin black, his eyes a startling blue.
"So... You recognixe me...Yes, it was I who stole you away from your family. Even then, I could tell you were for me, love." He reached out and touched her hair, and she recoiled in utter disgust. "That's why I had Kane go 'rescue' you. Not that he had any knowledge of the true nature of his mission," he added when Tori's eyes betrayed her hurt feelings of hearing Kane's name.
"Now... Come over here. I wish to inspect you," Tai said in a tone that brooked no argument.
So, there you have! What did you think?
