My story...fanfiction..thing!!! PLEASE READ!!

[Edwardcullengurl666]

bump

[Chayce West]

I just love how everyone criticizes your username and Twilight but not your story. Anyway, it's not a bad story, it just needs a little work. Add a little scenery. A good way is to try and put yourself in your character's scenery. Your story is satisfactory, and with a little work it could be great. And I'm sorry that the people on here are being total asses about your taste in reading. I really, really don't like Twilight as well, but it's really not necessary to insult it or any fans just because they don't like it. Good luck

[The Broken Bullet]

Yeah It was a good story I like it!!! Good work you guys!

[White Rabbit Redux]

Hey, assholes, review the story, not her username.

And I will honestly say that I could not finish your fic. In my opinion, there is too much dialogue and not enough action, not enough description, and literally no meat on the bone for me to chow down on. I won't say that it's bad, but incomplete, and I almost never finish reading incomplete work. What you need to do is sit down, jot down notes about what you could add to your fic, and then expand on those ideas. Put as much necessary meat to leave the reader satisfied, and I just felt like I ate a 100 calorie snack.

That's my opinion. :]

Out Of Topic: (I hate using abbreviations). I know I called everyone an a*****e for criticizing your name, but in all honestly I also must agree to an extent. I dislike the Twilight series since it's completely hyped up, and when people use character names and include them in their username it pisses me off (that and people just aren't as creative as they used to be). So, as a suggestion, to avoid anymore flaming since people take things way out of hand to the point where they cheer for suicide (and those people are complete morons; goes to show just how low generations are falling), try changing your username to be a little more creative. I just needed to say that.

Blinding: I like all of those things, too, but I don't act like a complete douchebag towards someone who has different tastes in literature. If it's not something productive and positive (or at least something to improve that does not involve mutilation of any kind or violence) then keep that opinion bottled up.