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Alright, so this is a TOBUSCUS fanfiction, and for those of you who don't know, Toby "TOBUSCUS" Turner is a guy on YouTube who has three channels: TobyGames, TobyTurner and TOBUSCUS.

TobyGames is obviously where he posts gameplay videos. TobyTurner is his channel that's purely for his daily lazy vlogs. TOBUSCUS is a channel where he posts literal trailers, original music videos and TOBUSCUS Animated Adventures.

TobyGames TobyTurner TOBUSCUS

Not only is he a YouTube partner, but Toby plays, Nerville, one of the only human characters from the Cartoon Network TV series "The Annoying Orange".

Back to the fanfiction, I'll just post the first part for right now, comment if you'd like to read parts 2 - 40. xd Yeah, I'm that far along into the series, seeing as it's been nearly a year since I began writing it. smile

Oh, and the chapters after this get better, trust me. When I started writing this series, I was just taking a chance, I never expected it'd reach the number of parts that it has, nor did I imagine that it'd get to be +500 hand written pages.

____________________________________


Part 1 - Intro of Epicosity



Taking my seat on the plane that would take me to the next part in my life, I began to think of all the things that I would be leaving behind.

My family. Friends. A familiar place. The overall sense of security.

But taking the place of what I left would be: A chance at success. A life of my own. And above all, a new beginning.

Sure I'd miss my home, and being able to know that my parents were just up the road if I needed them. However, no matter how comforting that information was, I had to give it all up.

So with my brave face on, I headed towards my destination.

Los Angeles, California.

My name is Brixta Otomiya, and I'm 21 years old. In California, I hope to find a path that will lead me to my dream career: A YouTube Partner!

Which in turn, would eventually maybe lead to an even bigger career.

Though, right from the start, I understood that it wouldn't be easy, after all, people find if difficult to take me seriously.

Despite me being 21, I have the appearance of a 14 year old, and no one really wants to listen to a kid.

So with the looks of a young teenager, light brown hair and blue-green eyes, I had made my decision to work as hard as I could, and to do whatever it would take in order for me to succeed!




I finally landed in L.A. early the next morning and after flying nearly halfway across the US, I was ready to go to bed. Which was simple enough, seeing as I had rented a small apartment a few weeks before I actually moved.

After a brief visit to the luggage claim, I hailed a taxi, gave the driver my new address, was driven to that address, paid the cab fair and finally looked at my new home.

It was nice.

Not exactly the type of place that I would bring a date to, but it was still somewhat quaint.

The walls inside the apartment were painted white and the floors were wooden. There was one small bedroom, a single bathroom and an open area for the kitchen and dining room/living room.

I wanted to explore my new place more, but by that point I could barely continue to stave the sleep that I so longed. So making a small pallet on the floor, I decided that it was time to take a nap.

Not much time had passed before I heard the buzzer to my apartment.

"Wh--who could that be? I wasn't expecting any company today, was I?" Although I was new to L.A. I had a couple of friends who lived out in Sacramento, but I doubted if it were any of them visiting me.

Opening the door, I saw a man wearing a turquoise shirt with big white letters spelling out "TOBUSCUS" on the front. He had brown hair, which was slightly messy, and brown eyes. He was rather tall, but he also had a certain sense of kindness to him.

He smiled, his eyes brightening as he did so, "Hi! Welcome to the neighborhood! I'm Toby. I live in the apartment right next door." He said as he gestured to the apartment to our left.

Trying to stifle a yawn, I shook his hand and groggily replied, "Thanks. I'm Brixta, and I live right here."

Laughing heartily, he casually leaned up against the wooden frame of the door. "Sorry if I woke you."

"It's fine, I'd rather it be this than to have my days and nights switched."

"Understandable." Toby said as he nodded his head in agreement. "So where are you moving from?"

"Lexington, Kentucky."

"Nice, well I'm going to leave you alone. I know that you've got to have unpacking to do."

I smiled, "Yeah, but it's really work that I need to get doing."

Raising an eyebrow, he asked curiously, "What do you do?"

"I record videos for YouTube. Right now I'm playing the game Amnesia The Dark Descent."

I noticed Toby shiver.

"What is it?"

"That game...it gave me nightmares."

"Yeah. Would you actually like to come in and keep me company while I play?" I really didn't like playing Amnesia by myself, and it would comfort me to know that someone who had survived the game would be there with me.

Toby shook off a shiver, smiled and answered, "Sure. But don't be surprised if I end up hiding behind your couch."

"I'd be surprised if I even had a couch!"

For the move, I'd only brought with me a few things that I knew I would need. And a couch wasn't one of those things.

Toby and me sat in front of my laptop, and I started the game up, as well as began recording. "Hey guys! Sorry that there were no videos yesterday, but with the move and everything, who can blame me? For those of you who don't know, my name is Brixta, and today I have with me my new friend Toby...."

I just realized that I hadn't gotten Toby's last name, so leaning away from my laptop, I whispered, "What's your last name?"

"Turner."

Smiling, I continued on, "Today I have with me my new friend Toby Turner. And today we're continuing on with Amnesia The Dark Descent." I gulped loud enough for my microphone to pick it up. "So let's get started."

Playing the game with Toby there was nice, he even helped me (and killed me) at some parts of the game. There were moments when I'd be screaming and doing all that I could to survive, and Toby would be yelling out, "RUUUUUN! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"

We only laughed when I reached a safe point.

But almost as soon as I had began recording, my 15 minute limit on videos was up, and it would be until the next day before I'd be recording again.

"Well that's all that I've got for today, guys. Catch you tomorrow!" I stopped recording and got up, stretching. "That was fun! At least this way I don't feel like Daniel after he's had a run in with one of the monsters."

Standing up, as well, Toby looked at his wrist watch, "Sorry, but I've got a run. I'll see you later." He smiled as he waved goodbye, and left. Leaving me alone, to upload that day's video.
Osidiano's avatar

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Hey, Brixta, read your fic. I don't know anything about Toby Turner, but I've been writing fanfiction for a good long minute and figured that I would drop a comment since I took the time to read.

Your story has a pretty good start, in that your vague enough at first that I want to know what happens next and then you quickly layout the general gist of it so that I can determine my interest level. But, to be honest, your lead in for the story was terrible! I mean, if even you, the author, don't think the beginning is very good, why post? Why not edit it again or rework it until you are happy? Your summary kind of sets the table for this whole story, so when you belittle it, I walk into the first paragraph thinking, "The author just told me that I shouldn't expect much."

The other thing that really struck me is your name. Specifically, the last name your character uses; is this person American? Japanese? Confused? It just doesn't seem like a very good flow, you know? I couldn't figure out what time she arrived. It was sometime during the day, right? I figured that it had to be because otherwise how would Toby have seen her? I was also really surprised that he stopped to welcome her to the apartment. Not so surprised that it's not believable, but when paired with some of the other things, it does kind of come across as your personal fantasy. I mean, self-insertion fics are some peoples thing, but unless you're going to have a really gripping opening, you're not going to keep many readers long enough to get to page 500.

So, hope that helps! Have a good one, and good luck with your fics.
DoctorChurchie's avatar

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Osidiano
Hey, Brixta, read your fic. I don't know anything about Toby Turner, but I've been writing fanfiction for a good long minute and figured that I would drop a comment since I took the time to read.

Your story has a pretty good start, in that your vague enough at first that I want to know what happens next and then you quickly layout the general gist of it so that I can determine my interest level. But, to be honest, your lead in for the story was terrible! I mean, if even you, the author, don't think the beginning is very good, why post? Why not edit it again or rework it until you are happy? Your summary kind of sets the table for this whole story, so when you belittle it, I walk into the first paragraph thinking, "The author just told me that I shouldn't expect much."

The other thing that really struck me is your name. Specifically, the last name your character uses; is this person American? Japanese? Confused? It just doesn't seem like a very good flow, you know? I couldn't figure out what time she arrived. It was sometime during the day, right? I figured that it had to be because otherwise how would Toby have seen her? I was also really surprised that he stopped to welcome her to the apartment. Not so surprised that it's not believable, but when paired with some of the other things, it does kind of come across as your personal fantasy. I mean, self-insertion fics are some peoples thing, but unless you're going to have a really gripping opening, you're not going to keep many readers long enough to get to page 500.

So, hope that helps! Have a good one, and good luck with your fics.


Like I said, chapter 1 was just an experiment. One that went over well on both FanFiction.net as well as DeviantArt. I just had a desire to write something, and this is the disaster that I came up with.

Trust me when I say, I'd really love to rewrite the first few chapters, but I'm the type of person who'd end up rewriting the entire thing. sweatdrop

As for Brixta, it's a nickname that I created for myself a few years ago, however the character in the series, isn't me. Sure there may be a few shared personality traits, but if Brixta were a real person, she'd probably be my more out going twin sister. The last name "Otomiya" is indeed Japanese. Can't really tell you why I went with it, seeing as it's a mystery to even myself.

You mentioned that you were surprised that Toby welcomed her to the apartment complex, well he's just that type of person. As he says "He's twelve years old in the head" he will literally talk to anyone. Extremely friendly, always laughing, seems to want to make friends at all chances given to him.

All in all though, thanks for the feedback. ^_^ I'll be sure to keep it all in mind.

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