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are we talking disliking a certain ethnic group in terms of dating, or holding a light preference for one ethnic group over another, yet finding other ethnic groups attractive all the same?

'cause i relate these things on some level to the superficial or quality-based nature of dating and relationships (in how some type of value system is placed in dating, because let's be honest, people don't usually just date anyone), albeit this particular matter is grounded in something racial.
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Joan Darr

And for bisexuals that lean or, prefer one way or the other? They're sexist, right?


I've never done any research into bisexuals biological basis, but offhand I'd say their preferences would have a higher chance of being influenced by our societies preference for heterosexual pairings. That is, they might not be sexist just for being so, but because our society as a whole is sexist.

Like I said, it could be hard wired into their biology as much as any other sexuality, since it exists on a scale and therefore they might be naturally attracted to one gender more than another. On the other hand, because they are attracted to both genders, does not mean they will equally express such interests in a society that has social pressure to behave in a certain manner.

To be more succinct, I'd have to do more research, but from what I know of human sexuality I'd assume their so called "leanings" were as hard wired as anyone else's sexual gender preferences. (but that choosing to express their feelings or not is related to their cultural upbringing).
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Ranallo Jenner
are we talking disliking a certain ethnic group in terms of dating, or holding a light preference for one ethnic group over another, yet finding other ethnic groups attractive all the same?
'cause i relate these things on some level to the superficial or quality-based nature of dating and relationships (in how some type of value system is placed in dating, because let's be honest, people don't usually just date anyone), albeit this particular matter is grounded in something racial.


We are talking about refusing out right, to date anyone of a certain ethnic background. "I don't date Asians/Blacks/Whites/ ect."

Not liking one ethnic group more than another while holding the rest to the same level. That's something else entirely from an EXCLUSIVE rule on what ethnicity you'll date.
Vixianna
Ranallo Jenner
are we talking disliking a certain ethnic group in terms of dating, or holding a light preference for one ethnic group over another, yet finding other ethnic groups attractive all the same?
'cause i relate these things on some level to the superficial or quality-based nature of dating and relationships (in how some type of value system is placed in dating, because let's be honest, people don't usually just date anyone), albeit this particular matter is grounded in something racial.


We are talking about refusing out right, to date anyone of a certain ethnic background. "I don't date Asians/Blacks/Whites/ ect."

Not liking one ethnic group more than another while holding the rest to the same level. That's something else entirely from an EXCLUSIVE rule on what ethnicity you'll date.


ok, then yeah i would consider that to be racist. another poster brought up homosexuals and heterosexuals being sexist in some way due to their preference. how does that factor into sexism, assuming it even does?
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Vixianna

Yeah but which mate we like doesn't have anything to do with "sameness". In general, we are attracted to the biologically novel, that is especially, those whose immune system is most dislike our own. We are most likely to get the best mix of genes from someone outside of our ethnicity(not race), and so it makes biological sense for you to be more attracted on a purely instinctual level to someone with whom you share the fewest genes in this regard.

This is not necessarily on a racial basis, and in fact, has very little to do with "race" in preference as we understand it. The same reason mixed race individuals have such a hard time getting transplants is the same that drives people to , supposedly on a biological basis, prefer mates of a different ethnicity in the first place. Unusual, unique combinations of exterior cell makers that make up the immune system.


I was in no way disagreeing with you. Just pointing out that the last bit of what you said wasn't fully accurate. 3nodding


Why people like what they like really is different from person to person though.
As I somewhat touched on in my earlier post, I tend to prefer girls of Nordic descent, namely for the aesthetic appeal of their bone structure. It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that I like "skinny, white, blonde girls with blue eyes", or that I'm "not attracted to black girls" as a generalization, because, in large, that is true. Though, there have been a few rare exceptions. For me, it isn't usually about skin color, or hair color, or eye color, but about bone//facial structure.
Joan Darr's avatar

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Vixianna
The people we're talking about aren't just thinking X is cuter than average, they are thinking X is cuter than average, and that Y is much uglier/unattractive than average.(their personal average) to the point that even if they've never seen or met X person they can be sure BECAUSE they are part of Y group that they'd never think they are hot, or want to date them.

I actually couldn't tell that from "So. You're one of those people, huh? Someone who is not attracted to black women/any other racial group in any other country."

It is like a whole other accusation entirely. So what is X in OP's scenario?
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Omorose Panya
Back from a loonngg hiatus! Vixianna suggested that I post this to Gaia, and I figured, hey, why not? So here goes throwing my post to the wolves!
---

So. You're one of those people, huh? Someone who is not attracted to black women ***. Well, guess what? I'm going to tell you straight up and to your face: That's racist. What's that? "It's just a preference!" you cry in face-saving desperation? Well, yes, kind person, it is "just" a preference. But guess what? Preferences can be, and often are, racist.


Of course it's prejudice. Just as preferring large breasts or asses is prejudice.

We're all sexually prejudice, in at least some way or another. That's how Natural Selection works.

It's not something to be ashamed of.

Quote:
How is it racist, you ask? You're anticipating some kumbaya PC mumbo jumbo about equal opportunities and loving and being nice to everyone, aren't you? Or some Major Butthurt from me (a black woman) because I'm super ugly, no? At the end of the day, I'm just pissed because I can't get a date, right?


I wouldn't say any of that. But then again, I've never seen what you look like, either. So I couldn't, anyway.

Quote:
Wrong. I'm not here to tell you that you need to broaden your horizons and date black women. Really, if you think that we are unattractive, then please do us a favor and don't date us. No, s**t, okay? We have enough to deal with without having to add you and your egregious quest to prove to yourself that you're Not Racist to our list of daily to-do's. No, I'm here only to explain to you how your "just a preference" is racist and will leave it at that. Promise.

So, how exactly is it racist? *drumroll* Because it relies on the sentiment that all black women (and black people, really), look the same—


Nah. I don't buy that. There's a lot of people of many different varieties that I don't personally find attractive. Doesn't mean I think they all look the same. In fact, the people I DO like, don't even look all the same. It's just that some features work well to my interest, and others don't. And there's no real formula to "what works", either. Just...some things work well for some, and aren't so flattering to others.

*shrug* I like whatever I happen to like.

Quote:
typically the asexual/desexualized, mammy caricature that was mainstreamed during slavery and to this day remains one of the top caricatures black women are portrayed as (alongside jezebel and sapphire), among others).

In reality, whiteness has the most stringent physical criteria: out of all the races, it is the most difficult to be considered white because a smaller combination of physical characteristics grants one whiteness. Contrast that with blackness: One can have any trait and be considered black. One can have any skin tone and be considered black—but not white; any hair texture and be considered black—but not white; any eye shape and be considered black—but not white; any nose shape and be considered black—but not white. At most, one might be considered “mixed” (in a tragic mulatto kind of way) if one has “attractive” traits, because all fully black women look the same, and that look is socially understood as the pinnacle of ugliness. If a black woman has a "valued" trait—e.g. blue eyes, angular nose, naturally straight hair, blonde hair—and, really, if she is not that pinnacle of ugliness, then she must have “white blood” in there somewhere or it just doesn’t work. It is simply beyond comprehension.


I...don't know anyone who looks at it like that. neutral

I've seen black women with blue eyes. I never thought "wow, she must be part white". Just "Wow...that really stands out."

Quote:
Our understanding of race is not mere happenstance; we as a society have spent centuries constructing the concept of race around “whiteness”— around who gets to be perceived and treated by greater society as full human beings and citizens. Part of that involves allowing white people to be recognised as a diverse set of unique individuals, despite being the least physically diverse by design; and not as clones, which is how we tend to perceive and treat black people, despite being the most physically diverse by design, and other racial minorities. That is how people are able to both think and say that they are not attracted to black women without social strife, and that is why society does not catch that it is inherently racist.

And make no mistake: it is racist.


Just as being non-bisexual is technically sexist. Any sense of preference is by nature prejudice. But not necessarily conscious, or specifically harmful.

And by the way, while I'm not shy about the fact that I don't find many black girls that would qualify as "my type" (I don't think they're "ugly" specifically. Just don't generally turn me on), I'm almost equally turned off by the vast majority of WHITE women that I see. My standards are shamelessly strict, and I'm not shy to admit that. Like I said, I just like whatever the hell actually does the trick, with no specific formula. Although I have noticed a tendency to lean more toward Asian women, for some strange reason I doubt I'll ever actually understand.

However, he vast majority of people, even Asian, don't fit the bill. I have never really figured out why that is.
Aurion Maverick
Vixianna

Yeah but which mate we like doesn't have anything to do with "sameness". In general, we are attracted to the biologically novel, that is especially, those whose immune system is most dislike our own. We are most likely to get the best mix of genes from someone outside of our ethnicity(not race), and so it makes biological sense for you to be more attracted on a purely instinctual level to someone with whom you share the fewest genes in this regard.

This is not necessarily on a racial basis, and in fact, has very little to do with "race" in preference as we understand it. The same reason mixed race individuals have such a hard time getting transplants is the same that drives people to , supposedly on a biological basis, prefer mates of a different ethnicity in the first place. Unusual, unique combinations of exterior cell makers that make up the immune system.


I was in no way disagreeing with you. Just pointing out that the last bit of what you said wasn't fully accurate. 3nodding


Why people like what they like really is different from person to person though.
As I somewhat touched on in my earlier post, I tend to prefer girls of Nordic descent, namely for the aesthetic appeal of their bone structure. It wouldn't be inaccurate to say that I like "skinny, white, blonde girls with blue eyes", or that I'm "not attracted to black girls" as a generalization, because, in large, that is true. Though, there have been a few rare exceptions. For me, it isn't usually about skin color, or hair color, or eye color, but about bone//facial structure.


imo, using a superficial or stereotyped reason for disliking a certain ethnic group in regards to dating/relationships, that places it within the realm of racism or near racism... just based upon the specific structuring of the reasons involved.

mostly because of how those specifics and reasons relate to the specifics and reasons of other things that are considered to be racist, although the whole... biological preference with dating (heterosexuals and homosexuals as an example) muddles that thought a bit.
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Ranallo Jenner

imo, using a superficial or stereotyped reason for disliking a certain ethnic group in regards to dating/relationships, that places it within the realm of racism or near racism... just based upon the specific structuring of the reasons involved.

mostly because of how those specifics and reasons relate to the specifics and reasons of other things that are considered to be racist, although the whole... biological preference with dating (heterosexuals and homosexuals as an example) muddles that thought a bit.


Hey, bone structure isn't superficial. It is one layer below that. whee
As I said, it is a generalization of what appeals to me physically, and not something that is the case every time.
It speaks nothing of what engages me mentally, something even fewer do.

I used to date outside of this preference quite frequently, mostly because people were fun. It just felt wrong though. In part because I wouldn't last long without the physical attraction, and in part because most just weren't mentally engaging enough to keep me interested for long periods of time.

Now, I just don't date anyone, because of other reasons, but it is still Nordic girls that appeal to me the most.
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black_wing_angel

And by the way, while I'm not shy about the fact that I don't find many black girls that would qualify as "my type" (I don't think they're "ugly" specifically. Just don't generally turn me on), I'm almost equally turned off by the vast majority of WHITE women that I see. My standards are shamelessly strict, and I'm not shy to admit that. Like I said, I just like whatever the hell actually does the trick, with no specific formula. Although I have noticed a tendency to lean more toward Asian women, for some strange reason I doubt I'll ever actually understand.

However, he vast majority of people, even Asian, don't fit the bill. I have never really figured out why that is.

I agree with this view. There is an overwhelming lack of physical appeal all around. Just happen to lean towards one type.
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A person flat-out says "I won't date [insert race here] people." Is that racist... ? It's definitely racist when founded on racist stereotypes, such as the mammy image that the OP linked. In other cases, it could be that the person is simply not sexually turned on by certain general traits that are common to one race. I guess that falls into the category of people having different "types."

I'd also like to note that in some cases people's "types" and "just who I'm sexually attracted to" is affected by the beauty standards in society. An example: If white features are hailed in the US as being pretty and black features not-so, people's unconscious "types" and ideas of beauty could be influenced. In that way people would be the "result" of racism, even if they are not inherently racist.

With all that said, if someone doesn't want to date black girls or girls of a certain race, that just means there's more for me. emotion_c8
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Ok ...

Most of the time I don't find myself attracted to African Americans. There have been exceptions. I saw one plus sized model with the most delicious hourglass look, and boobies ... (I like round looking breasts). I also saw one man with the body of a romance novel hero, and a shaved head and lovely eyes. He was lovely. Yet, for some reason, most of the African Americans I've seen, while not ugly, just didn't spark anything in me.

While I think Japan and China are interesting, I don't find most Asian people (no matter the country) to be attractive. Sometimes I'll find the most adorable young woman. My Taiwanese teacher is ******** adorable. She looks like a cute boyish nerd and her accent is soooooooo cute. Don't get me started on Mana sama.

Most of the time the people I find to be the most attractive are Native Americans, some Middle Eastern people, White people. I'm not sure why.

If, in order to be not racist, I have to find every race in the world to be attractive ... I'd explode from the stress of trying to find something I like in all races just to please everyone. I don't want the headache. As long as I don't try to do anything racist, who cares?
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Ok then.

Im racist...

So what?
Vixianna
Joan Darr

And for bisexuals that lean or, prefer one way or the other? They're sexist, right?


I've never done any research into bisexuals biological basis, but offhand I'd say their preferences would have a higher chance of being influenced by our societies preference for heterosexual pairings. That is, they might not be sexist just for being so, but because our society as a whole is sexist.

Like I said, it could be hard wired into their biology as much as any other sexuality, since it exists on a scale and therefore they might be naturally attracted to one gender more than another. On the other hand, because they are attracted to both genders, does not mean they will equally express such interests in a society that has social pressure to behave in a certain manner.

To be more succinct, I'd have to do more research, but from what I know of human sexuality I'd assume their so called "leanings" were as hard wired as anyone else's sexual gender preferences. (but that choosing to express their feelings or not is related to their cultural upbringing).


You do realize that the reason most people do not find black women attractive is due to our society saying they're ugly right? If you can let off bisexuals for going with societies sexist views then you need to let off people who do not find black women attractive as well.

I would like you to prove that sexual orientation is hardwired but other preferences are not.

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