Welcome to Gaia! ::

Joou no Oh

The thing is, the more privileges you have the more likely you are to ******** up at some point in time, in some way.


wat
Tenebris_Alcestis
So...I'm racist against my own race? Wat.
I like my men with some to a lot of color, I can't stand pale skin D: White guys look weird to me...
i've never seen an attractive person who didnt look white.
Joou no Oh's avatar

Bashful Member

hahahalolwut
Joou no Oh
I'm not quite sure what to make of this. How is this relevant?
And frankly they way this statement reads, this is raising alarm bells for a couple reasons. confused (once again i'm not sure of the context here, so...)


i can't control whether or not i find a given person attractive. all i can do is recognise that mostly i have found white and east asian girls attractive, while i have mostly not been attracted to black or south asian girls.

and given that i'm incapable of making myself find someone attractive, i really don't care whether or not it's racist. i can't change it, and i'm not going to bone someone i don't find attractive to make myself seem more post-racial.
So to sum it up.. You've missed the point and are instead excusing yourself/making it about you.
Right then, moving along...
Joou no Oh
hahahalolwut
Joou no Oh
I'm not quite sure what to make of this. How is this relevant?
And frankly they way this statement reads, this is raising alarm bells for a couple reasons. confused (once again i'm not sure of the context here, so...)


i can't control whether or not i find a given person attractive. all i can do is recognise that mostly i have found white and east asian girls attractive, while i have mostly not been attracted to black or south asian girls.

and given that i'm incapable of making myself find someone attractive, i really don't care whether or not it's racist. i can't change it, and i'm not going to bone someone i don't find attractive to make myself seem more post-racial.
So to sum it up.. You've missed the point and are instead excusing yourself/making it about you.
Right then, moving along...


Thread title: "Your racial preference IS racist."
Fine Print: "Lol, jk shithead. It's not actually your preference."

It's like I'm reading gawker.
Joou no Oh's avatar

Bashful Member

Queen of Mercury
If you were to pay attention to dates, you would see there is a lapse in responses, like now. Yes my initial comments were when I was online, hence them being closer together. Working 40 hours a week and then having other priorities outside of work tend to make one a busy person.
Which is fine -but let's be honest here. We both know your having an offline life's not the problem, nor was that ever implied to be the problem. My problem was you were using your social life as an excuse to both not to read the OP and mock me.
Queen of Mercury
I never said everyone who read all of it had no lives, I said you must not, given your insistence that a person has to read every last word of the OP. Some days I am lucky if i have six hours of relaxation with my girl, and those are usually at night, when we try to work in some sexy time as well. The hectic schedule is going to last for a little while longer and then blessed relief because I'll have two of the other priorities gone. The joys of working full time. going to school full time, and having to do intern hours as well. C'est la vie. It'll be worth it. I read your post, you made little sense about 'those things' because you seemed to have completely misread, either accidentally or deliberately, what I'd said.
By saying I must not have a life because I took the time to read the OP, you're also implying that anyone else who did the same must not have a life either. That's the point on that matter. And once again, yes, if you're going to post in any forum like this (especially topics like this) you should read the entire first post is also another point. If you've got time to make a post in the thread when you haven't even read all the subject matter then you should have been using that time to read it first. There really are no excuses. (see #3)
And finally I didn't misread, you split up my post and messed up the context.

Queen of Mercury
I did use those words, but as I'd said then and said again, and am saying yet again for the third time, it wasn't accurate, it was the only thing that popped into my mind.
Then.. why even say that? emotion_8c
Queen of Mercury
No, just you, and that was me being bitchy, and I do apologize for it. That was a rough day and I was feeling snarky. That's no excuse to be nasty to a complete stranger.
Like I said abouve, it's a "by extension" thing. Aside from that...
Queen of Mercury
Well, you do realize that you're derailing it as well by responding this way instead of privately right?
And now i'm gonna side-eye you a moment here because that's some alarm-ringing, manipulation (and possible abuser logic) right there. And it's triggering me.
If you punch me in the face in public, i'm not going to drag you into the nearest bathroom/private area and then get upset at you, no. I'm going to be instantly upset at you right there, on the spot -and for damned good reason. It is not my job as the person who got hit to take it with a chortle and invite you back to my apartment for tea away from the public eye, it's your job not to have punched me in the first place. Period.
Failing that, your job is then to acknowledge what you did, own it and apologize -not shift the blame onto me in a attempt to place me as the bad guy, tone police me and control me all at once.
Queen of Mercury
Now, as for the OP, I have read a bit more of it, and I still say that all the links seem pointless to me when it would be fairly easy to give a brief explanation of what it meant with perhaps a photo to accompany, but I am a stickler for simplicity when I can get it so that is most likely my failing, not the OP's.
*shrug* like I said before, it's at the length that it is because:
- quite a few people wanted more in-depth explainations on certain terms
- too many people were blatantly missing the point (hell some still are)
And I could go into a rant on how no matter what the OP does when it comes to racial issues, the excuses of "there's not enough [x] it's too short!" and "it's too long!" are always gonna get flung... I'll leave it at that cause i'm too tired emotionally to bother right now. stare

Queen of Mercury
Anywho, when I first started skimming the first post my initial reaction was 'Wow, she's talking about racism while coming off a bit racist herself'. But then I decided to ignore that the last time I was online and read a little more. I have done that again today, and I think I get where she was going with it. Those of us who haven't been subjected to racism (yes I admit I am of the 'privileged' race in the US), have a hard time seeing what she means, I think, at least some of us, because we don't see it the same way. Not being subjected to blatant racism can be blinding. However, when I put this in a different pattern in my head, ie one based on sexual orientation, its a lot easier to 'get' it I suppose. I know they're not entirely the same thing, but it made my brain process it without going 'No, that's not true, she's just being a racist herself'. Its a sad and unfortunate thing that we all have a bit of discrimination inside us, no matter how much we may deny it. Our attitudes will convey it even if our words do not.

Forgive my rambling, I am running on three hours of sleep and have to leave in ten minutes so I am trying to get what is in my head written down before I forget it.

That said, ignoring the concept of personal attraction in dating, since this isn't technically about that even though it does come across in that way (again attitudes convey things that our words may not intend), that statements such as those in the first post are racist. If one applies a single characteristic, or a group of characteristics, to an entire ethnicity or race, based on the few they have come in contact with, then they are turning that entire race or ethnicity into a 'hive', so to speak. They are making them all carbon copies of each other, and that is certainly not true about any race or ethnicity. Everyone is different, there may be some characteristics a person finds unappealing on an individual, but that in no way means that everyone has that characteristic and to suggest otherwise while trying to hide behind the qualifier of 'what I have seen' is racist. Whether the person acknowledges it, embraces it, and then rids themselves of it, or not is their choice, but they have to come to terms with the fact that others will see them as racist behaviors.

Anywho, I have only a few minutes left so that is all I have time to say.

Again, my apologies for my previous snarkiness, and my apologies to the OP for derailing her thread. Here's hoping this post has made up for it at least a little bit.

[********] That's the bottom line, yeah.
I'm a bit confused here though,
Queen of Mercury
That said, ignoring the concept of personal attraction in dating, since this isn't technically about that even though it does come across in that way (again attitudes convey things that our words may not intend), that statements such as those in the first post are racist.
I'm not sure what you were trying to convey here...?
Joou no Oh's avatar

Bashful Member

Project 429


Thread title: "Your racial preference IS racist."
Fine Print: "Lol, jk shithead. It's not actually your preference."

It's like I'm reading gawker.
Wait, what?
I, don't understand what it is you're trying to say or do...?
Joou no Oh
Queen of Mercury
I did use those words, but as I'd said then and said again, and am saying yet again for the third time, it wasn't accurate, it was the only thing that popped into my mind.
Then.. why even say that? emotion_8c


If you wish to continue the derailment portion of the discussion feel free to send it to me in a PM. As for this, because as I said it was what came to mind and i didn't want to just leave an ellipse in lieu of what i was trying to say.


Joou no Oh
Queen of Mercury
Well, you do realize that you're derailing it as well by responding this way instead of privately right?
And now i'm gonna side-eye you a moment here because that's some alarm-ringing, manipulation (and possible abuser logic) right there. And it's triggering me.
If you punch me in the face in public, i'm not going to drag you into the nearest bathroom/private area and then get upset at you, no. I'm going to be instantly upset at you right there, on the spot -and for damned good reason. It is not my job as the person who got hit to take it with a chortle and invite you back to my apartment for tea away from the public eye, it's your job not to have punched me in the first place. Period.
Failing that, your job is then to acknowledge what you did, own it and apologize -not shift the blame onto me in a attempt to place me as the bad guy, tone police me and control me all at once.


Like I said above, if you wish to continue the derailment portion feel free to PM me. I will not get into a pissing match with you, or play the finger pointing game with you, publicly, just so you can feel better about your actions.

Joou no Oh
Queen of Mercury
Now, as for the OP, I have read a bit more of it, and I still say that all the links seem pointless to me when it would be fairly easy to give a brief explanation of what it meant with perhaps a photo to accompany, but I am a stickler for simplicity when I can get it so that is most likely my failing, not the OP's.
*shrug* like I said before, it's at the length that it is because:
- quite a few people wanted more in-depth explainations on certain terms
- too many people were blatantly missing the point (hell some still are)
And I could go into a rant on how no matter what the OP does when it comes to racial issues, the excuses of "there's not enough [x] it's too short!" and "it's too long!" are always gonna get flung... I'll leave it at that cause i'm too tired emotionally to bother right now. stare


None of that really has much to do with what I said, especially given the bold in my comment. I stated clearly it seemed that way to me because I am a stickler for simplicity but it is most likely my failing and not anything on the OP's end.

Joou no Oh
Queen of Mercury
Anywho, when I first started skimming the first post my initial reaction was 'Wow, she's talking about racism while coming off a bit racist herself'. But then I decided to ignore that the last time I was online and read a little more. I have done that again today, and I think I get where she was going with it. Those of us who haven't been subjected to racism (yes I admit I am of the 'privileged' race in the US), have a hard time seeing what she means, I think, at least some of us, because we don't see it the same way. Not being subjected to blatant racism can be blinding. However, when I put this in a different pattern in my head, ie one based on sexual orientation, its a lot easier to 'get' it I suppose. I know they're not entirely the same thing, but it made my brain process it without going 'No, that's not true, she's just being a racist herself'. Its a sad and unfortunate thing that we all have a bit of discrimination inside us, no matter how much we may deny it. Our attitudes will convey it even if our words do not.

Forgive my rambling, I am running on three hours of sleep and have to leave in ten minutes so I am trying to get what is in my head written down before I forget it.

That said, ignoring the concept of personal attraction in dating, since this isn't technically about that even though it does come across in that way (again attitudes convey things that our words may not intend), that statements such as those in the first post are racist. If one applies a single characteristic, or a group of characteristics, to an entire ethnicity or race, based on the few they have come in contact with, then they are turning that entire race or ethnicity into a 'hive', so to speak. They are making them all carbon copies of each other, and that is certainly not true about any race or ethnicity. Everyone is different, there may be some characteristics a person finds unappealing on an individual, but that in no way means that everyone has that characteristic and to suggest otherwise while trying to hide behind the qualifier of 'what I have seen' is racist. Whether the person acknowledges it, embraces it, and then rids themselves of it, or not is their choice, but they have to come to terms with the fact that others will see them as racist behaviors.

Anywho, I have only a few minutes left so that is all I have time to say.

Again, my apologies for my previous snarkiness, and my apologies to the OP for derailing her thread. Here's hoping this post has made up for it at least a little bit.

[********] That's the bottom line, yeah.
I'm a bit confused here though,
Queen of Mercury
That said, ignoring the concept of personal attraction in dating, since this isn't technically about that even though it does come across in that way (again attitudes convey things that our words may not intend), that statements such as those in the first post are racist.
I'm not sure what you were trying to convey here...?


I meant that some of the wording came across as 'I am talking about personal romantic relationships' although it does actually say otherwise. Its just certain words and phrases, like when she does talk about dating and how if you aren't attracted to a black woman fine don't date one (and yes I paraphrased it I know), depending on the readers view it can come across that way, not intentionally, but its all about perception on the reader's end. Many people immediately go to that place in their head when they hear 'Your preference is racist'. Its a knee jerk reaction, especially among those of the privileged race. Its something some of us are working to eradicate within ourselves, but more need to do it as well.
Joou no Oh
Project 429


Thread title: "Your racial preference IS racist."
Fine Print: "Lol, jk shithead. It's not actually your preference."

It's like I'm reading gawker.
Wait, what?
I, don't understand what it is you're trying to say or do...?


The OP contradicts the title, and has inserted vaguely self-congratulatory messages about how people have interpreted what was actually said, as opposed to what was meant.
I AM R U's avatar

Savage Fairy

12,700 Points
  • Gender Swap 100
  • Ultimate Player 200
  • Super Tipsy 200
Project 429
Joou no Oh
Project 429


Thread title: "Your racial preference IS racist."
Fine Print: "Lol, jk shithead. It's not actually your preference."

It's like I'm reading gawker.
Wait, what?
I, don't understand what it is you're trying to say or do...?


The OP contradicts the title, and has inserted vaguely self-congratulatory messages about how people have interpreted what was actually said, as opposed to what was meant.


This emotion_awesome
Project 429
Joou no Oh
Project 429


Thread title: "Your racial preference IS racist."
Fine Print: "Lol, jk shithead. It's not actually your preference."

It's like I'm reading gawker.
Wait, what?
I, don't understand what it is you're trying to say or do...?


The OP contradicts the title, and has inserted vaguely self-congratulatory messages about how people have interpreted what was actually said, as opposed to what was meant.



This is very true. However, I have a feeling that Joou no Oh will not see it that way, especially since she doesn't feel that lashing out and throwing the first proverbial punch in order to tell someone they're 'derailing' the thread, thus committing that act herself, is, well, a derailment of the thread because she supports what the OP is saying.
Penn Almasy's avatar

Fashionable Girl

11,000 Points
  • Full closet 200
  • Hotblooded Hero 50
  • Conventioneer 300
I accept that my racial preferences may or may not be racist.

But you have to accept that part of those preferences is nature/nurture and it's very hard to change those preferences on the beliefs of "oh no someone MIGHT be offended by this!!1"
Neverwise's avatar

Devoted Worshipper

9,850 Points
  • Somebody Likes You 100
  • Treasure Hunter 100
  • Noob wrangler 100
Penn Almasy
I accept that my racial preferences may or may not be racist.

But you have to accept that part of those preferences is nature/nurture and it's very hard to change those preferences on the beliefs of "oh no someone MIGHT be offended by this!!1"



-
Joou no Oh's avatar

Bashful Member

Queen of Mercury
I see you've edited your post. Frankly, that's not going to help considering what was said before it was edited.
If you're going to trivialize my reaction and defend your attempts to dismiss my upset while demanding a cookie for your so-called apology (which was rendered moot by what you first said anyways) while simultaneously using that to further aggrovate (again based on what was said before the edit) me then i'm done talking to you.
I do not deal with manipulative scumbags. Period. Fullstop.
Joou no Oh's avatar

Bashful Member

Penn Almasy
I accept that my racial preferences may or may not be racist.

But you have to accept that part of those preferences is nature/nurture and it's very hard to change those preferences on the beliefs of "oh no someone MIGHT be offended by this!!1"

There's nothing natural about lumping an entire people into a single [insert description here] group.
And nobody said it would be easy. It's about questioning -if you're "not attracted" to an entire group- the why behind it.
Andy Worhal
Tenebris_Alcestis
So...I'm racist against my own race? Wat.
I like my men with some to a lot of color, I can't stand pale skin D: White guys look weird to me...
i've never seen an attractive person who didnt look white.

The troll is strong with this one...

Quick Reply

Submit
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games