[ Poll ] Your genitals do not matter?

do genitals matter to you in a romantic relationship?

I am straight and I will not date anyone within my gender		51.1%	[ 113 ]
I am gay and I will only date people of my gender		6.8%	[ 15 ]
I am bisexual and I do not care		32.6%	[ 72 ]
I do not understand the definition of straight and homosexual		9.5%	[ 21 ]

Total Votes: 221

[tererun3]

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

Gho the Girl

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

No. Genitals do not matter to me. I don't think about them even; I don't think I ever have been attracted to someone's genitals.

Well, some genitals are pretty nice folks, but then you have genitals like mine which apparently are racist.

I'm frightened and do not want to know.

This one also made the claim in another thread that it is ok for it to be racist because homosexuals chose people of their own gender.

[Project 429]

Geisterfahrer

Gho the Girl

Geisterfahrer

Project 429

Geisterfahrer

No they don't.
I should know. I make those forms that people fill out and when I say gender I mean gender and when I say sex I mean sex.

Sex is biological. XX, XY, XYY, etc.
Gender is psychological. Male, Female, neuter, bigender, etc.

It's not the same thing. A person can be an XX male or an XY female.

The dictionary disagrees.

The American Psychiatric Association disagrees and I'm inclined to go with the more advanced source. The dictionary supplies only the most basic explanation of word usage.

/how the majority of the population uses it.

Maybe the uneducated population. Everyone past their freshman year at my college understands that sex and gender are not the same thing. The words are not considered interchangeable in the academic setting.

Because you think that's the case, it must be true, right?

It's obvious when you make things up to prove your point you know. You look pretty bad right now, but you keep digging your hole.

[I got bored one day]

tererun3

This one also made the claim in another thread that it is ok for it to be racist because homosexuals chose people of their own gender.

Somehow knowing the antics of EDer's I'm inclined not to directly believe that.

[Bouidicca]

They DO matter and he better have a working set of dangly bits. scream

[Omorose Panya]

Project 429

Because you think that's the case, it must be true, right?

It's obvious when you make things up to prove your point you know. You look pretty bad right now, but you keep digging your hole.

I hope you understand how ignorant you're making yourself sound.

[achanceforgrace]

why are intersexed people always left out of the "what kind of genitals do you care for" conversation?

anywho... given the history of the terms hetero and homosexual (they did not mean sexually attracted to opposite/same sex people until the 1940's) and the fact that various new vocabulary to describe sexuality are constantly being introduced and the fact that sexuality is best understood as a continuum rather than rigid categories, what does it matter what people label themselves as? So what if a woman who is with a woman refers to herself as straight? How does this matter to anyone at all?

[Project 429]

Omorose Panya

Project 429

Because you think that's the case, it must be true, right?

It's obvious when you make things up to prove your point you know. You look pretty bad right now, but you keep digging your hole.

I hope you understand how ignorant you're making yourself sound.

Letting people be intellectually dishonest is much worse then sounding 'ignorant'.

[Geisterfahrer]

Project 429

Geisterfahrer

Gho the Girl

Geisterfahrer

Project 429

The dictionary disagrees.

The American Psychiatric Association disagrees and I'm inclined to go with the more advanced source. The dictionary supplies only the most basic explanation of word usage.

/how the majority of the population uses it.

Maybe the uneducated population. Everyone past their freshman year at my college understands that sex and gender are not the same thing. The words are not considered interchangeable in the academic setting.

Because you think that's the case, it must be true, right?

It's obvious when you make things up to prove your point you know. You look pretty bad right now, but you keep digging your hole.

I spend so much time with people who understand this simple concept that I'm honestly shocked to find people that can't get it. I've been away from gaia for a while.
Gender and Sex
WHO Gender and Sex

From apa.org

Quote:

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex refers to biological status as male or female. It includes physical attributes such as sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, internal reproductive structures, and external genitalia. Gender is a term that is often used to refer to ways that people act, interact, or feel about themselves, which are associated with boys/men and girls/women. While aspects of biological sex are the same across different cultures, aspects of gender may not be.

[Gho the Girl]

tererun3

Gho the Girl

tererun3

According to a certain gaia member in another thread

Not to be too much of an attention whore, but I think she's referring to me.

This is true, but namedropping is bannable so I was hoping you would come.

Hey, I was making a timely joke. If that's bannable, the mods need to get a sense of humour.

Quote:

You just made the claim that you know a homosexual guy who has a female partner and likes it. Now to many people that would be a bisexual person, but to you the fact that he likes women does not matter and he can make up whatever definition he wants and pretend to be homosexual.

No, he's legitimately homosexual. He just happens to be married to a woman. He was married to a woman before he realised he was gay. However, he loves his wife so much, and she loves him so much, that they decided to find ways to make that work.

You don't have the authority to tell him he's not gay.

Quote:

Gho the Girl

Quote:

I am wrong in the idea that the genitals of the people out there do not matter when you are deciding to get funky with them.

Actually, I agree, they do matter, from time to time, and from person to person. Some don't put much importance in them, and some put a lot in there. This isn't bad or good, it's just the way things are.

If it doesn't matter then those people would be bisexual or perhaps asexual.

Or maybe they're experimenting.

Quote:

This is the main factor in being straight or homosexual. It is that the genitals matter.

And the main factor in being a sexual being is that a battery of things matter sexually. Some want someone of a certain age, or size, or skin color, or they want their partner to spank them while they call their partner mommy. Different strokes for different folks, but saying that one factor matters doesn't negate the importance of the other factors. If only genitals mattered, we wouldn't have fetishes, or sexual tastes, roleplay, leather, BDSM, kink, etc.

And what an atrociously boring world that'd be.

Quote:

You are either unattracted to people of your gender or you are actually turned off by those people.

Or you're bi.

Even leaving that aside, I'm not attracted to men who are above the age of 50, although this will change with time. I'm not attracted to black people, some latinos are very attractive to me, I like the contrast of my Irish descended Ivory against their coffee color. I have a thing for red heads, although it isn't required. I also have a kink for glasses, and a fetish for n****e play.

Yes, I'm queer. But that's not all I am, not even just sexually.

Quote:

Gho the Girl

Quote:

So, all you straight people, does it matter if the person you are with in a romantic relationship has the genitals of the opposite gender?

For some, it does, and for others, it doesn't. Some straight men have been with non-op transwomen and they are perfectly happy.

Those are a minority.

But they exist. So from time to time, the rules don't apply as normal.

Quote:

Seriously, I could look as fabulous as a woman as possible and if I pull down my skirt and there is a d**k it is crying game time for at least 90% of men.

And? That's their tastes.

Quote:

Like I have told you, if you think I am wrong

Notice where I said you were right?

Quote:

take your claims into the real world and dress as the opposite gender and hit a straight bar and start hitting on straight people. Just do not come to me for your hospital bills.

Well, funny thing, seeing as I'm genderqueer, it's hard for me to dress as the opposite gender.

And I have been hit on by straight men while cross-dressing, if that's what you mean. Not that I'd take them up on the offer, straight guys really aren't my thing.

Quote:

Gho the Girl

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For the homosexuals, does it matter if the person you are romantic with has the same genitals as you?

When I identified as homosexual, I had a relationship with a transman, and I must say, I did mind his v****a at first, but soon came to be completely comfortable with it.

You are a case study and that pretty much doesn't fly in any psychological study.

I'm a case study? This is awesome news! biggrin

Quote:

You may be an anomoly, and probably are.

THis is probably true, as even I admitted earlier.

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You are going to need a little more than that. I will get back to you on my little impromptu question on whether or not you are an oddity or the majority.

Why does the majority matter? I thought we were talking about importance as it is applied in instances across the board, meaning both general and oddities. At least that was what I was referring to.

Quote:

Gho the Girl

But then again, seeing as I now identify as queer, I'm not such a good reference for the general homosexual trend, however, I have heard that other gay people have and enjoy relations with people with non-matching genitals.

I have heard some people claim that a guy who sucks d**k and likes it can somehow be straight. It doesn't make it so.

And who made you grand poo-bah of the gays? pirate

Quote:

Gho the Girl

Quote:

I would ask the bisexuals, but it would seem logical the answer is no though you may have a preference.

My claim is that if you are straight or homosexual that it matters to you in a romantic relationship the gender of the person you will potentially be involved with. Please feel free to tell me if I am wrong or right.

You're right.

Now would you like to go back and read the posts I actually made?

You should know better than to backpedal with me.

I'm backpedalling?

How am I backpedalling?

I'm saying that yes, genitals matter, on this both of us agree. However, you seem to be holding the view that genitals matter in a specific way for everyone. This is a mono-sexist point of view, i.e. it's a worldview that only supports mainstream homosexual and heterosexual viewpoints. It leaves out bisexuals, queers, and heteros and homos who have extenuating circumstances that while extenuating and odd does not invalidate their identity nor invalidate any healthy sexual relationships they may have and/or create.

On this, we disagree.

[Project 429]

Geisterfahrer

Project 429

Geisterfahrer

Gho the Girl

Geisterfahrer

The American Psychiatric Association disagrees and I'm inclined to go with the more advanced source. The dictionary supplies only the most basic explanation of word usage.

/how the majority of the population uses it.

Maybe the uneducated population. Everyone past their freshman year at my college understands that sex and gender are not the same thing. The words are not considered interchangeable in the academic setting.

Because you think that's the case, it must be true, right?

It's obvious when you make things up to prove your point you know. You look pretty bad right now, but you keep digging your hole.

I spend so much time with people who understand this simple concept that I'm honestly shocked to find people that can't get it. I've been away from gaia for a while.
Gender and Sex
WHO Gender and Sex

From apa.org

Quote:

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex refers to biological status as male or female. It includes physical attributes such as sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, internal reproductive structures, and external genitalia. Gender is a term that is often used to refer to ways that people act, interact, or feel about themselves, which are associated with boys/men and girls/women. While aspects of biological sex are the same across different cultures, aspects of gender may not be.

Yes, that's well and good - but in the English language, we have words that have multiple definitions! It's really a novel concept. You might be wondering how we figure out what definition the person means when they say a word. We have this nifty little thing called context to help us there.

In the context of the original post, the word 'gender' is synonymous with 'sex'. In this context, there is no error.

Q.E.D.

[Gho the Girl]

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

tererun3

This one also made the claim in another thread that it is ok for it to be racist because homosexuals chose people of their own gender.

Somehow knowing the antics of EDer's I'm inclined not to directly believe that.

Well, I said that just as some people only find people of the same sex attractive, some find that only people of aforementioned sex of a specific race are attractive, or rather, not of certain races.

For instance, I'm white, and I really don't find many black people sexually attractive. I'm certain that there are more than a few black people who only find black people attractive. Meaning, they don't experience arousal unless the person is of a specific race.

This got me called racist.

Please, tell me how my d**k is racist when it doesn't swell at the sight of a black man.

[tererun3]

achanceforgrace

why are intersexed people always left out of the "what kind of genitals do you care for" conversation?

anywho... given the history of the terms hetero and homosexual (they did not mean sexually attracted to opposite/same sex people until the 1940's) and the fact that various new vocabulary to describe sexuality are constantly being introduced and the fact that sexuality is best understood as a continuum rather than rigid categories, what does it matter what people label themselves as? So what if a woman who is with a woman refers to herself as straight? How does this matter to anyone at all?

I would think it would matter to homo and hetero people. You see, it helps when a person is polite and asks you your sexual orientation before asking you for a date. Like john asks cindy if she is straight and she says she is a lesbian. John should walk away dissapointed knowing that cindy is just not interested in the p***s. Now, if cindy says she is a lesbian because she is trying to be a fashionable gay, but she likes penises she will probably accidentally reject many guys, and might find herself hit on by some lesbians and freaked out.

Now, when we reverse this and john claims he is homosexual, he might find that some guys hit on him, and this may be disturbing to him and he mayt feel insulted though he brought it upon himself by trying to be fashionably gay.

Now to go further some establishments cater to a gay or straight community. I you were to wander into a straight establishment and start hitting on people of your gender you may find yourself toossed out rather violently. If you wander into a homosexual establishment and expect that people of your gender will not hit on you because you are straight you are going to be unpleasantly surprised.

So, yes these terms do matter to a lot of people, and this fashionably gay bullshit is annoying all around. You do not get to claim you are gay because you think it makes you cool.

[Geisterfahrer]

Project 429

Geisterfahrer

I spend so much time with people who understand this simple concept that I'm honestly shocked to find people that can't get it. I've been away from gaia for a while.
Gender and Sex
WHO Gender and Sex

From apa.org

Quote:

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex refers to biological status as male or female. It includes physical attributes such as sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, internal reproductive structures, and external genitalia. Gender is a term that is often used to refer to ways that people act, interact, or feel about themselves, which are associated with boys/men and girls/women. While aspects of biological sex are the same across different cultures, aspects of gender may not be.

Yes, that's well and good - but in the English language, we have words that have multiple definitions! It's really a novel concept. You might be wondering how we figure out what definition of the word the person means when they say it, well to help us we have this nifty little thing called context.

In the context of the original post, the word 'gender' is synonymous with 'sex'. In this context, there is no error.

Q.E.D.

In the context of the original post, the difference between gender and sex makes an enormous amount of difference! Because we are talking about sex, gender, and genitals, it's extremely important that the OP be very clear about what she means.

"I am gay and I will only date people of my gender." - This statement would mean that I personally would only date people who self identify as female, regardless of what genitals they have.
"I am gay and I will only date people of my sex." - This statement would meant that I personally would only date people who have XX chromosomes and are biologically female, regardless of their current gender identity.

These are two very different answers.

[Syndactyly]

Well, I'm pansexual, so I cannot answer for this. If I was STRICTLY homosexual or heterosexual, maybe I would have a problem with certain genitals. But in reality, I don't. I do not understand the idea of genitals being a dealbreaker when you love someone romantically.

I'm transsexual, I don't tell everyone what's in my pants when I first meet them. We can become fairly good friends before I'll mention it. It really isn't relevant unless a person is having sex with me. But often when I do mention it to gay men, it's a deal breaker. "EWWW IT HAS A c**t," is typically the reaction.

I just don't get it. I like men, women, and everyone in between and beyond. I an "sex-blind," I really only acknowledge a person's gender. Obviously what genitals they do have will have an effect on how we have sex, but other than that, not really a big deal. In all other aspects, they're just a person.

See, I think for a gay man the GENDER would matter. He wants to be with a man emotionally and physically. But the genitals are a small part of what makes a man. I've been on testosterone for about 10 months (I've you've heard me say 7 or 8 months recently, it's because I lost track somewhere, I started Jan 17th), my body is nothing like a woman's, except my crotch. If the man I'm dating is a "top," my a*****e is no different from a males' (I can verify this from experience, my ex was MtF and we did quite a bit of buttplay). If he's disgusted by my c**t, and can't accept the rest of me that is a man, then he's not someone I want to be dating anyway.

Then there's intersex people. If you're so picky about genitals, you'll have a hard time accepting them. They sometimes have ambiguous genitalia; often a pseudo-p***s and a v****a. I guess they're stuck with bisexuals and pansexuals. :/

Like I said, I'm "sex-blind." Although I must say, I find it much easier to connect with a transman than a "normal" gay man, because a transman really understands where I'm coming from. But I might slightly prefer transmen because of the emotional/intellectual connection, not because of what parts the have.

[Project 429]

Geisterfahrer

Project 429

Geisterfahrer

I spend so much time with people who understand this simple concept that I'm honestly shocked to find people that can't get it. I've been away from gaia for a while.
Gender and Sex
WHO Gender and Sex

From apa.org

Quote:

What is the difference between sex and gender?

Sex refers to biological status as male or female. It includes physical attributes such as sex chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, internal reproductive structures, and external genitalia. Gender is a term that is often used to refer to ways that people act, interact, or feel about themselves, which are associated with boys/men and girls/women. While aspects of biological sex are the same across different cultures, aspects of gender may not be.

Yes, that's well and good - but in the English language, we have words that have multiple definitions! It's really a novel concept. You might be wondering how we figure out what definition of the word the person means when they say it, well to help us we have this nifty little thing called context.

In the context of the original post, the word 'gender' is synonymous with 'sex'. In this context, there is no error.

Q.E.D.

In the context of the original post, the difference between gender and sex makes an enormous amount of difference! Because we are talking about sex, gender, and genitals, it's extremely important that the OP be very clear about what she means.

"I am gay and I will only date people of my gender." - This statement would mean that I personally would only date people who self identify as female, regardless of what genitals they have.
"I am gay and I will only date people of my sex." - This statement would meant that I personally would only date people who have XX chromosomes and are biologically female, regardless of their current gender identity.

These are two very different answers.

It's good to be concise as possible in these kinds of situations.
It's bad to feign confusion just because something bothers you personally.

Quote:

I think you mean sex, but you said gender...

Way to act stuck-up about a mistake in semantics. This is part of the reason why anti-intellectualism is on the rise in this country you know.