Your genitals do not matter?

do genitals matter to you in a romantic relationship?

I am straight and I will not date anyone within my gender	51.1%	[ 113 ]
I am gay and I will only date people of my gender	6.8%	[ 15 ]
I am bisexual and I do not care	32.6%	[ 72 ]
I do not understand the definition of straight and homosexual	9.5%	[ 21 ]
Total Votes:			[ 221 ]

[Rosetta Celestine]

Olya

Captain Verd

Again, for the sake of clarity and the debate, a transsexual female should generally be called a man, and a transsexual male generally female. Mixing the two up is going to lead to COUNTLESS posts from different people correcting your terminology.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Gender (subjective) - male or female
Sex (non-subjective) - man or woman

I stated clearly that I have no wish to be with a woman, meaning I do not seek XX chromosome.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Where are you getting that distinction?

[Syndactyly]

Olya

Captain Verd

Again, for the sake of clarity and the debate, a transsexual female should generally be called a man, and a transsexual male generally female. Mixing the two up is going to lead to COUNTLESS posts from different people correcting your terminology.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Gender (subjective) - male or female
Sex (non-subjective) - man or woman

I stated clearly that I have no wish to be with a woman, meaning I do not seek XX chromosome.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Totally backwards.

XX chromosomes = female

Woman, girl, etc. are GENDERED terms. The sexed term is female.

[Captain Verd]

Syndactyly

Albany King

Captain Verd

EDIT: For the second part, I refer you back to my hypothetical situation. Not everyone can be held to the automatic honesty thing due to negative past experiences.

Agreed. Unless the transsexual person is deliberately skirting the issue or changing the subject when asked, can we really say they are lying? If they've been harassed or hated on in the past after revealing such information, can we look down on them for not walking into a bar and telling everyone they see that their genitals don't match the rest of them?

Exactly. I pass as a man, I am never asked unless I am in a group of transsexuals and people are like, "Why are you here? SO? Ally?" and I'll be like, "No, I'm one of them." But that's a special setting; I generally only so willingly out myself in a supportive/educational environment. I don't really do so with just everyone I meet. It takes time for me to feel I can trust they won't toot their horn about it.

And you, for one, can vouch for negative reactions to people finding out about your transsexuality. Should you be put at risk in a social setting so Olya doesn't make the mistake of crushing on you and feeling silly about it afterwards?

[Rosetta Celestine]

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

So he's suppose to where a sign around his neck telling everyone he has a v****a?

Also, you don't see their chromosomes. You just see qualities that we used to differentiate genders. Gender-wise he's a man since he is indistinguishable from any other man.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Do you feel the same way when someone you sleep with does not disclose being HIV positive? Should he/she wear a sign saying HIV? I have no problem telling people I am a woman. Why should someone have a problem telling people he/she is trans? Is it something to be ashamed of?

One of those qualities is a p***s.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Lol, transsexuality isn't contagious.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

And HIV is not as contagious as many other STD's. Plus, with a condom it's pretty safe. Why should you know?

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Because it's life threatening. You aren't likely to die from learning that the person who just slept with used to have messed up genitals.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

So, let me get it straight, disclosure should only be demanded when it concerns someone's physical wellbeing but not emotional. Kay. Got 'ya.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

It's easier to heal from a mental wound than a virus that slowly kills you.

Sleeping with a transsexual means nothing about you. So you slept with someone you perceived as being male, doesn't mean you're into women.

However, we are talking just sex here. I do feel if someone is say, marrying another person, they need to be honest about being trans.

I can understand being upset that someone you loved didn't trust you enough to share that secret with you.

[Syndactyly]

Captain Verd

Syndactyly

Albany King

Captain Verd

EDIT: For the second part, I refer you back to my hypothetical situation. Not everyone can be held to the automatic honesty thing due to negative past experiences.

Agreed. Unless the transsexual person is deliberately skirting the issue or changing the subject when asked, can we really say they are lying? If they've been harassed or hated on in the past after revealing such information, can we look down on them for not walking into a bar and telling everyone they see that their genitals don't match the rest of them?

Exactly. I pass as a man, I am never asked unless I am in a group of transsexuals and people are like, "Why are you here? SO? Ally?" and I'll be like, "No, I'm one of them." But that's a special setting; I generally only so willingly out myself in a supportive/educational environment. I don't really do so with just everyone I meet. It takes time for me to feel I can trust they won't toot their horn about it.

And you, for one, can vouch for negative reactions to people finding out about your transsexuality. Should you be put at risk in a social setting so Olya doesn't make the mistake of crushing on you and feeling silly about it afterwards?

No, she's being a douche. But from what I've seen she's just a douche in general when it comes to discussing anything transgender. If she is that incredibly shallow I hope she freaks out and later questions her sexuality after having crushed on a guy like me. I hope she gets lost in her own whirlpool of ignorance.

[e-Claire rc1]

NO. THERE ARE NO UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED DEFINITIONS WHICH APPLY EASILY TO TRANSGENDERS.

These are appropriate, but YMMV:

sex (genetic) = genetically, X, XX, XY, XXY, XXX, XYY male/female
sex (organs) = physically/biologically/physiologically male/female
gender (identity) = man, woman, girl, chick, guy, dude, etc.

It's generally a good idea to qualify them where necessary for clarity's sake.

[Captain Verd]

Blairnensha

NO. THERE ARE NO UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED DEFINITIONS WHICH APPLY EASILY TO TRANSGENDERS.

These are appropriate, but YMMV:

sex (genetic) = genetically, X, XX, XY, XXY, XXX, XYY male/female
sex (organs) = physically/biologically/physiologically male/female
gender (identity) = man, woman, girl, chick, guy, dude, etc.

It's generally a good idea to qualify them where necessary for clarity's sake.

If only there were!

[20 Shades of Crazy]

Bisexuals have a preference; they like people whose sex adds up to their genders. It's pansexuals who don't give a ******** about genitals.

[e-Claire rc1]

Captain Verd

If only there were!

Then we would have avoided this entire...thread, actually.

[Tagra Nar]

Rosetta Celestine

It's easier to heal from a mental wound than a virus that slowly kills you.

Sometimes. Soldiers who lose it due to wartime trauma are an example of this, especially those who end up offing themselves. There are cases where neither one would be easier to heal from.

As for this situation, yeah, she's silly.

Quote:

Sleeping with a transsexual means nothing about you.

Logically speaking, yes.

Quote:

So you slept with someone you perceived as being male, doesn't mean you're into women.

I'd suggest a lot of the angst is in regards to how others will then perceive the individual. Reputation, if the person is overtly concerned with that, and shame, if they feel what they've done was shameful.

Quote:

However, we are talking just sex here. I do feel if someone is say, marrying another person, they need to be honest about being trans.

I can understand being upset that someone you loved didn't trust you enough to share that secret with you.

I'd suggest before doing anything physical, or before beginning anything truly romantic as far as relationships go. I imagine the reaction, if it's going to be bad, is going to be exponentially worse if you tell them after the fact than before.

[Captain Verd]

20 Shades of Crazy

Bisexuals have a preference; they like people whose sex adds up to their genders. It's pansexuals who don't give a ******** about genitals.

I always thought this was a dumb distinction. If bisexuals like both sets of genitals, what does being trans have to do with it?

[xCasondra]

Transexuals/gender have gone through a lot of studies to better understand the difference.

Almost all people who are transexuals have the body of one, and the brain of another. Therefore, if I were a male, who wanted to be female, my brain would actually consist of a female's brain.

If syndactyly had an MRI scan, her/his brain would be considered that of a man's. It is not something that they just wake up and do, it is how they are BORN. It's not a disfunction, it is how they were meant to be.

If you felt you were in the wrong body, you would want to come to terms with that, regardless. It is impossible for a person who hasn't experienced it to understand it.

Being able to have empathy for all walks of life is what makes you a better person.

[Captain Verd]

xCasondra

Transexuals/gender have gone through a lot of studies to better understand the difference.

Almost all people who are transexuals have the body of one, and the brain of another. Therefore, if I were a male, who wanted to be female, my brain would actually consist of a female's brain.

If syndactyly had an MRI scan, her/his brain would be considered that of a man's. It is not something that they just wake up and do, it is how they are BORN. It's not a disfunction, it is how they were meant to be.

If you felt you were in the wrong body, you would want to come to terms with that, regardless. It is impossible for a person who hasn't experienced it to understand it.

Being able to have empathy for all walks of life is what makes you a better person.

I don't think that brain thing is true... source?

[Syndactyly]

xCasondra

Transexuals/gender have gone through a lot of studies to better understand the difference.

Almost all people who are transexuals have the body of one, and the brain of another. Therefore, if I were a male, who wanted to be female, my brain would actually consist of a female's brain.

If syndactyly had an MRI scan, her/his brain would be considered that of a man's. It is not something that they just wake up and do, it is how they are BORN. It's not a disfunction, it is how they were meant to be.

If you felt you were in the wrong body, you would want to come to terms with that, regardless. It is impossible for a person who hasn't experienced it to understand it.

Being able to have empathy for all walks of life is what makes you a better person.

I understand you did the "her/his" thing for the sake of taking a stance of "neutrality," but the fact that you used "her" at all leans towards the side that my gender is up for question. When actually it isn't at all, I am male GENDERED, male pronouns should be used to address me whether a person thinks I'm legitimately "male" or not.

._.

Even though in all other aspects you agree with my position.

[Olya]

Captain Verd

Yes, it does. If I'm a transsexual, and the last guy I told held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again, why should I be forced to tell you about my transsexuality? The little weird feeling you'd get once I told you about my secret p***s is far, FAR less than the horror I would have felt being held at knife point.

Your view on the subject is extremely selfish. People should tell you their personal medical history despite the fact that they may be harmed as a result so you personally don't have to feel funny at all is completely outrageous and unsympathetic. I would never expect someone to disclose personal information like that to me after our first meeting. Assuming so would be extremely rude and intrusive on my part.

My boyfriend did not tell me about his schizophrenia until we'd hung out a few times. Why? He liked me, and was afraid I'd run off like allother girls he'd told. The fact that he waited to tell me did not change a single damn thing. he wasn't lying about it, or trying to trick me into dating him before letting the dirt out. His fears and feelings on the subject were and still are far greater than mine probably ever will be. It's his right to chose who he tells that information to and when, because unless he becomes romantically close to someone, it's really not anybody's god damn business.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Women, ethnic minorities, religious minorities, etc. etc. all get discriminated against. We live in a relatively safe part of the world (compared to others). We have a number of people very vocal about their gender and their sexuality and they're still alive. If you are so paranoid about having your life threatened, there are bars and clubs specifically for gays and trans-gendered. There are online dating websites. Not telling is not the only option.

That's great. And my friend told me he was schizophrenic the first time we hung out and I still think the world of him for being so upfront about this. He thought I was interesting, wanted to be friends with me, and felt it would be wrong if I was to find out under any other circumstances. A girl in my pre-med group did not bother disclosing her epilepsy. Need I say it wasn't fun when she began seizuring in the centre of 500-seat lecture hall and we did not know why or what to do with her? If you intend to spend time with someone on more than one occasion, it is best to be upfront as soon as possible. If you have something that would prevent a person from wanting to be close to you they should have the option to opt out of a relationship before things get too emotional and too complicated.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.