[ Poll ] Your genitals do not matter?

do genitals matter to you in a romantic relationship?

I am straight and I will not date anyone within my gender		51.1%	[ 113 ]
I am gay and I will only date people of my gender		6.8%	[ 15 ]
I am bisexual and I do not care		32.6%	[ 72 ]
I do not understand the definition of straight and homosexual		9.5%	[ 21 ]

Total Votes: 221

[Syndactyly]

x Sarnath x

You're right. I really don't understand it. It just seems odd to me.
Don't get me wrong. I would have rather been born male. I fantasize about being male sometimes. I really would have preferred to be a guy. I can relate to them more closely than I can to being a girl.
But I just couldn't imagine doing something like that. I've read about it and thought about it, but it seems miserable. It seems like the surgery and all the stigma attached to it would make me even more miserable.

There is nothing easy or fun about transition, but for those of us who are very serious about this, it is worth it.

[Yaminon]

Olya

Captain Verd

For the second part, I refer you back to my hypothetical situation. Not everyone can be held to the automatic honesty thing due to negative past experiences.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Their negative past experiences do not justify them in putting others in a position where future negative experiences will be created.

Do you not see how 100% unfair it is to the other person? I'll give you a differing example. Suppose you go out with someone who has epilepsy and that person does not tell you. What will your feelings be when that person goes into shock (especially if you've never had this experience before)? Was that person justified in not warning you? Of course he was! After all, some people turned him down in the past, he was made fun of in high school - clearly, having you stand there beside yourself not knowing what to do is totally reasonable.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

I really don't think anyone would threaten someone's life if they knew they had epilepsy.

This isn't even comparable.

[Syndactyly]

x Sarnath x

Haha... That's so funny, because I don't even have to say anything. You just proved my point. lol If you're a girl, wear the beard. If you're a guy, wear the dress.

But don't ******** up your perfectly healthy body. Just don't. Find another way.

Silly little girl.

Why "wear" a totally fake beard that's probably gonna fall off when I take grow one?

Why only PRETEND to be a man when I can PHYSICALLY be one?

If I'm going to dress like a man and live as a man people are going to think I'm a "freak" anyway. And they'll be a lot less freaked out if it's a real beard and I tell them I'm getting a sex change than if I'm half-assing it and wearing a costume beard I got at the 99 cent store. Or worse, putting pubic hair on my face.

[Rosetta Celestine]

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

Olya

Rosetta Celestine

I think "illusion" is kind of a rude word to use. What if the guy never claimed to not be trans?

Also, if he looks, walks, and acts like a man, why is he not a man?

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Because his chromosomes read XY. He can be male, but not a man.

Also, how is omitting that fact any better. If he knows I'll take him for a man unless he tells me, is that not deceiving?

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

So he's suppose to where a sign around his neck telling everyone he has a v****a?

Also, you don't see their chromosomes. You just see qualities that we used to differentiate genders. Gender-wise he's a man since he is indistinguishable from any other man.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Do you feel the same way when someone you sleep with does not disclose being HIV positive? Should he/she wear a sign saying HIV? I have no problem telling people I am a woman. Why should someone have a problem telling people he/she is trans? Is it something to be ashamed of?

One of those qualities is a p***s.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Lol, transsexuality isn't contagious.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

And HIV is not as contagious as many other STD's. Plus, with a condom it's pretty safe. Why should you know?

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Because it's life threatening. You aren't likely to die from learning that the person who you just slept with used to have messed up genitals.

[Syndactyly]

x Sarnath x

I really don't care if they get the surgery. I don't give a flying ******** what they do to themselves.
I'm just saying, it's a shame. They have a perfectly healthy, functioning body.

Whenever I would feel angst over my gender, I would go look at pictures of men who went through surgery to become women. The grass is always greener on the other side.

The surgeries and hormone replacement therapy have no adverse effect on a transsexual's health. It is actually widely known to improve their sexual health, even if they don't have perfect genitals.

Hormone replacement therapy has drastically IMPROVED my health.

[Captain Verd]

Olya

Captain Verd

For the second part, I refer you back to my hypothetical situation. Not everyone can be held to the automatic honesty thing due to negative past experiences.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Their negative past experiences do not justify them in putting others in a position where future negative experiences will be created.

Do you not see how 100% unfair it is to the other person? I'll give you a differing example. Suppose you go out with someone who has epilepsy and that person does not tell you. What will your feelings be when that person goes into shock (especially if you've never had this experience before)? Was that person justified in not warning you? Of course he was! After all, some people turned him down in the past, he was made fun of in high school - clearly, having you stand there beside yourself not knowing what to do is totally reasonable.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Yes, it does. If I'm a transsexual, and the last guy I told held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me if he ever saw me again, why should I be forced to tell you about my transsexuality? The little weird feeling you'd get once I told you about my secret p***s is far, FAR less than the horror I would have felt being held at knife point.

Your view on the subject is extremely selfish. People should tell you their personal medical history despite the fact that they may be harmed as a result so you personally don't have to feel funny at all is completely outrageous and unsympathetic. I would never expect someone to disclose personal information like that to me after our first meeting. Assuming so would be extremely rude and intrusive on my part.

My boyfriend did not tell me about his schizophrenia until we'd hung out a few times. Why? He liked me, and was afraid I'd run off like allother girls he'd told. The fact that he waited to tell me did not change a single damn thing. he wasn't lying about it, or trying to trick me into dating him before letting the dirt out. His fears and feelings on the subject were and still are far greater than mine probably ever will be. It's his right to chose who he tells that information to and when, because unless he becomes romantically close to someone, it's really not anybody's god damn business.

[Syndactyly]

Captain Verd

x Sarnath x

But don't ******** up your perfectly healthy body. Just don't. Find another way.

Silly little girl.

Not all people are mentally, physically, or emotionally equipped to deal with things as you may be able to. For someone who wants to live life without the pain of being in the wrong body, I fail to see the issue. Is it your body? Is their transition going to make you persnally unhappy?

She did earlier mention wanting to be a man.

I've noticed that most people I've encountered who VIOLENTLY and ANGRILY oppose transition are people who want to transition to themselves, but don't have the courage to take the baggage that comes with it. It's a mixture of confusion and envy.

[Captain Verd]

Olya

So, let me get it straight, disclosure should only be demanded when it concerns someone's physical wellbeing but not emotional. Kay. Got 'ya.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

I agree that a transperson should disclose that information before having sex with someone. However, you suggested that a person should disclose that information as soon as or shortly after meeting you, which is not the same thing.

Unless it's a one night stand situation, which has already been brought up.

[Captain Verd]

Olya

Captain Verd

Again, for the sake of clarity and the debate, a transsexual female should generally be called a man, and a transsexual male generally female. Mixing the two up is going to lead to COUNTLESS posts from different people correcting your terminology.

We all meandered through our schooling haphazard; so, to God be thanks,

Gender (subjective) - male or female
Sex (non-subjective) - man or woman

I stated clearly that I have no wish to be with a woman, meaning I do not seek XX chromosome.

...it's easy, without too much fooling, to pass for cultured in our ranks.

Er, you have those mixed up. I'm telling you the definitions as used in these arguments, because it makes the entire thing more fluid and easier to understand. If you constantly refer to a man (biologically female) as a woman and no one else does, you message can become garbled and lost. This is easily fixed by falling into line by the definitions used in regards to transsexuals.

Trust me, I used to use them both as well, but after spedning so long in the tranny thread, just using the terms correctly saves everyone about five hours.

[Syndactyly]

Albany King

Captain Verd

EDIT: For the second part, I refer you back to my hypothetical situation. Not everyone can be held to the automatic honesty thing due to negative past experiences.

Agreed. Unless the transsexual person is deliberately skirting the issue or changing the subject when asked, can we really say they are lying? If they've been harassed or hated on in the past after revealing such information, can we look down on them for not walking into a bar and telling everyone they see that their genitals don't match the rest of them?

Exactly. I pass as a man, I am never asked unless I am in a group of transsexuals and people are like, "Why are you here? SO? Ally?" and I'll be like, "No, I'm one of them." But that's a special setting; I generally only so willingly out myself in a supportive/educational environment. I don't really do so with just everyone I meet. It takes time for me to feel I can trust they won't toot their horn about it.