Mademoiselle de Sade
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- Posted: Sat, 05 Jan 2013 06:16:22 +0000
Speaking purely for my own personal experiences, hope and one person. Not any specific person, mind you. But each time I've gotten to the point of collapse, when I know that s**t is just going to keep hitting the metaphorical fan, there always seems to be one single human who can say just the right thing. And I'm not even talking about a friend really, it can be a total stranger. In my case, it once was.
There was a woman who saw what I was doing, she shook her head and just told me that life can be utter s**t sometimes, but it can get better. She had been there before and I shouldn't give up just yet. For me, that is what has kept me hanging on when I look at my life and go "I'm really going to do the same ******** thing every day until I die for no reason?"
I am a creature of habit, despite knowing that things will be s**t and I'll need a pill just to cope, I cling to this little nest egg of hope that years of individuals have ingrained in to me- that someday things might change. Most people refer to that as instinct, I think it's a culmination of my natural drive and outside influences. Because without some sort of outside force, I think my instinct would have been moot. The irony in my instinct, is that it's defunked. I don't want children, neither does my husband.
But it's absolutely different for every single human. Though recently, Zoloft has been that reason if I want to get basic with it.
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