Why do you/don't you want children?

[vesica piscis]

I remember how horrified I was about a possible pregnancy when I was younger and I think it is the same now. My life will change forever, when children happen and I stress in my head about being able to provide and care for dependents. The idea of being responsible and mature is a scary thought and one i may never be ready for. Perhaps if i met my "Cinderella" that brightened my life i would reconsider

[Ihavenoarmz]

I don't want children because I see no reason to have children?

[Meliora Fae]

I would love to have children and I will most likely adopt someday. But that would only be after being in a stable relationship with someone who shares my morals and beliefs, having a stable job that pays enough to cover a family's needs, and knowing that I myself am ready to care for a completely dependent human being.

[Skittles Of Darkness]

I like the thought of teaching another being and seeing how such would turn out but then again I'm afriad as ******** to have one (birthing it I mean).

Plus, we're overpopulated and many need to be adopted in loving homes. Maybe adoption one day. I actually try not to think about this children business but end up anyways.

[Concept Indifference]

I used to be one of those people who was definitely going to have children someday. I was so sure that I'd one day become a mother, and that I'd teach and guide my children into the vast future with their dreams and goals to accomplish as best they could.
That has all changed. I've been looking at the issue of parenthood with a more self evaluating eye. I now feel that I am far too selfish and unstable to bring up decent human beings. With this in mind, I don't wish to ever become pregnant, for a vain reason, but it's part of the reason I'd never make a suitable parent. I don't want to get fat. Having been heavy all my life, I'm trying to get much thinner, and being fat disgusts me. If I were to have a child, he or she would most likely grow up with these fears as well, and I don't fancy carrying that on into the future.
Honestly, it almost scares me to come to this conclusion, after spending most of my life thinking of what kind of mother I'd eventually become... The things I was once so very certain of, I have renounced entirely. It does get a little worrying when deep thought is put into it.

[Taliah]

Up until recently, I've always understood that I wanted to have kids. That's not saying that I don't anymore, but I have a better understanding of myself now than I did.

I have a strange way of interacting with children. Sometimes kids like me, or I am completely ignored and passed for another person near me. I feel like because I am unsure of myself as a person, kids sense this, and are therefore unsure of me. I also feel like I would not express my care or love towards them appropriately, since I seem to have this problem with a significant other already. I don't want my child (or my significant other) to feel unloved by their mother/partner. I also am in a selfish stage in life, and I want to stay selfish for a while longer to experience the world for myself, and not regret being tied down to raise a baby early in life, when I myself am not much of an adult yet.

In other words, it will be quite a while before I settle down to have children. I want to better understand who I am, so in turn I can better understand and raise my child.

[Seloine]

I find the idea of having sex in the first place rather unappealing. It just seems very awkward and clumsy to me - but no matter.

As such, I do not want children - the idea of having something sapping the life outta me for nine months terrifies me, and I have enough trouble with getting sufficient nutrients as it is. The idea of giving birth horrifies me too and I can't say a C-section is too appealing either.

But as for the child itself... First off, I loathe babies - they frighten me, and I avoid them as much as I can. Secondly, I hold a deep dislike for most people that are more than a year or so younger than me. I cannot financially support myself or any of that, and I haven't the time to devote to a child...

... I'm 17, a college student.
I'm sorry - but I want a life. If I have kids, I can say goodbye to that life. I'm not a very good example to little ones anyway. That, and I'd prefer to pull a slightly older child outta the adoption system, and give them a decent shot at a life again; rather than bringing another bawling puking crapping monster into the world.

[Toffee Cuntwaffle]

Phantom of The Phorum

OP seems to give off an air of distaste for children....

No s**t. I like em well enough if they're well behaved and not my responsibility. Outside of that?

Thank you, but no.

[Phantom of The Phorum]

Botox Panda

Phantom of The Phorum

OP seems to give off an air of distaste for children....

No s**t. I like em well enough if they're well behaved and not my responsibility. Outside of that?
Thank you, but no.

So you don't want to take the time to teach them morals or manners and you don't believe your own flesh and blood should be your responsibility. In my opinion not only does it sound like you don't want kids, but your level of maturity is nowhere near ready to have a kid.

[Toffee Cuntwaffle]

Phantom of The Phorum

Botox Panda

Phantom of The Phorum

OP seems to give off an air of distaste for children....

No s**t. I like em well enough if they're well behaved and not my responsibility. Outside of that?
Thank you, but no.

So you don't want to take the time to teach them morals or manners and you don't believe your own flesh and blood should be your responsibility. In my opinion not only does it sound like you don't want kids, but your level of maturity is nowhere near ready to have a kid.

No, I don't want to have them in the first place. If in some weird alternative reality I found myself saddled with kids then yes, I would instill morality into them, or at least attempt to. And yes, I would treat them as my responsibility.

Back to reality, I won't be having any children so no, they are not my responsibility due to the fact that they don't exist. I do not see what my level of maturity has to do with anything here. I'm not ready to have a kid because I do not want one.

[_adamantane_]

I do want children. In the interest of discussion, I figured I'd put in my view of it. But I completely see why people don't want to have kids; I'd ask why, but more out of curiosity. As far as I'm concerned women have every right to do what they want and if kids isn't what they want, then good.

I'm 20 and in no rush to have children. I plan on waiting a while to get married, and I also want to wait a few years after marriage before we have children; I want to enjoy being married and my husband- I basically want to be able to put myself and him first for a while, whoever he happens to be. Because in my view, once you have a child, that child should and must come first. But I want to have a bit of time to myself first.

I think the biggest reason I want to have kids is because for a while I thought I would be unable to. Upon finding out I could have children, I realized that obnoxious and bratty as kids can be sometimes, as hard as pregnancy and childbirth is and as much time, money and commitment children are (and patience), they're worth it. I love the childish wonder kids have and I want to see it and enjoy it and encourage it. I know it'll be hard sometimes, but what is never hard? I think it'll be worth it and rewarding. Maybe it's just some biological instinct, but for me, having children would be an opportunity to help the future, not just the present. I want the joy and the anger and the good times and the bad and the home videos and the sloppily drawn Valentines Day cards because to me, that's what life is.

And hey, if nothing else, I'll help put someone else through college by paying them to babysit, like how babysitting money keeps me afloat. (Okay I need to eat dinner and stop trying to make jokes)

[Riviera de la Mancha]

I like kids just because I feel like a more complete human being around them. They bring out an amazing degree of selflessness and genuine care that all humans ought to engage in regularly in their lives inorder to live a true existence. For some people, they have no problem feeling this way for other people like friends, colleagues, family members, what have you. I however do, so I like kids because they make me feel this way.

Kids have a particular capacity that makes them unique in this endeavor that even a friend or a lover or a family member really cant quite meet in my measure. People can easily live without kids, but, in my opinion, the best life is one lived where children make some part of your existence, even if they are not yours.

[Elrin_02]

I have no problems with the CF folks--some people are just not the parenting sorts, and that's totally understandable. Parenting is a LOT of work and a HUGE responsibility, and it's obviously not everyone's cup of tea anymore than being a lawyer or a pig farmer.

The only thing that annoys me is when people move beyond their personal choices and begin actually discriminating against other people's children. For example, two Xmases ago, when my son was a mere 3 months old, we took him to my husband's office Xmas party, and all was well and good. He didn't cry, people loved seeing him, and we left when he got tired.
This year, my husband's new company also had an Xmas party, but at this party, children and babies were not allowed.

Orly? Do you allow blacks and Jews at your fancy upscale parties, or do you just discriminate against people based on age?

Now, these people probably aren't even CF-ers. They just think it's appropriate to discriminate against children, while I think this is highly inappropriate.

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As for myself, I am quite fond of children, babies, teens, and people of pretty much all ages. I am especially fond of my own children, who are the best children in the entire world (yes, every parent thinks that about their own kids.) We currently have one toddler and one fetus, and in a perfect world, I think I'd like 8 kids, but who knows how things will go?

My reasons for liking kids are fairly straightforward--evolution has primed me to reproduce and take care of my offspring. I don't think it's much more complex than that.

My reasons for wanting so many are partly straightforward, and partly egotistic: my husband and I happen to think we have high quality genetics, and that our progeny will bless the planet with their existence.

Honestly, this is what pretty much every parent thinks, but we've got the credentials to actually somewhat justify the belief.

[Yami no Hitokiri]

I don't have kids because I see how too many of today's young children are spoiled, out of control little pricks whose parents do nothing to rein them in because the parents are afraid of some asshat calling CPS on them if they actually try to discipline the brats.

In short because of government interference in a family's private business, it is no longer worth it to bring children into a world that will expect me to discipline and control my child, yet condemn me for actually doing so.