Nyxelestia
I was just wondering:
There's all this concern about having sex at young ages.
(I'm not talking about extremes like 10-12) but for some reason, people are shocked at the ages people lose their Virginity, like 15 or 13.
If someone's consenting and practicing safe sex, then what's what's the problem?
I'm going to be honest and say that yes, I'm 14. AND I'll admit that I, personally, am not ready for sex. But I know plenty of people my age who aren't Virgins. They were consenting, they were safe, and none of them are 'emotionally traumatized'.
What's the problem? I want to know. I'm open to any argument.
(P.S. - I DON'T, however, want to hear anything about no sex before marriage, ESPECIALLY not backed-up with the Bible. I'm an Atheist.)
I personally don't think that younger teenagers should be having sex. I'm not saying that younger teenagers are always going to be less mature than older teenagers (that would be lying), but I personally just think it's best to wait. I went onto a woman's site (it has good info) and it explained it like this: a lot of women have a hard time knowing themselves sexually because they have sex before they learn who they are and what they want. Since these women (those who are younger, especially) had sex before they learned about their own bodies, they tended to believe that a man had to be the one to show them what pleases them. It's a kind of dependency thing.
That's just a generalization, of course, but it has some truth in it. I personally believe that a teenager should wait until they've learned about themselves. It's not even really about finding "the one," because if you're comfortable with yourself and your body, even if you make a mistake and get with the wrong person, you can move on. It's really hard for me to explain, actually.
I'll try to use examples. They're not going to apply to everyone, however. My best friend starting having sex at fifteen. She got very attached to her first. She felt that she must stay by him no matter what he did to her. And he did some pretty awful things to her. She older now, married with a child, and when she thinks back to that relationship and when she started having sex, she wishes she would have waited. She says that her youth made it hard for her to see that there were other guys out there and that she didn't have to go what she went through. She was absolutely crushed when he dumped her three times for other girls, but after maturing, she realized she didn't need him. I myself waited until I was nineteen to have sex. I felt like I needed to wait until I was comfortable with my sexuality before I started. It has helped with my confidence and relationships.
I guess that's my point. I don't feel like most young teenagers acknowledge the fact they don't need to have sex to make them who they are (especially girls). I feel like there are even more social pressures than there are hormonal pressures. I know I got plenty of, "Oh, you're not having sex? Then you just haven't experienced maturity yet." I was considered "innocent" and "childlike." But that's not true, and I hate when I hear it. I also feel like a lot of young teenagers have sex before they know themselves and their own bodies. I feel like a lot of them are looking to define themselves through having boyfriends/girlfriends. That's not applicable to every young teenager, but that's what I've seen. Honestly, a lot of girls (I'm not sure about guys) I know regret having sex at a young age (that includes only at 15). They had wished they'd waited until they experienced life more.