DearSX
Depression in anger turned in on oneself. So students are really taking out their anger on themselves ie. getting depressed. Why? Because students feel/think/see themselves as losers and/or failures and/or not good enough ie. ashamed. Society, friends, and/or parents are shamming to students. A student even shames him/herself into depression. Suicide seems like an appropriate response to those that feel they don't have an existence worth living because they are just not good enough ie. shameful, ie. mistakes. Society teaches us to put down and hold the "losers and "bad" peopple" responsible for a messed up life. When we focus on ourselves as the shameful, we take things out on ourselves, often unconsciously.
I was suicidal in high school and had a very painful time, even when I did well, I felt I was not good enough to just be treated well unless I proved something. I ******** hated it, but instead I took the anger back on me ie. I got depressed. Society is brainwashed, and I got brainwashed and seriously hurt. I lot of people can go unconscious of all this stuff, just like people go unconscious of how they are hurting others and themselves. I hit my limit in high school, when I was maintaining my appearance in school, with friends, a girlfriend, my family, society and even myself.. I must have had anger at myself for not being on my side. The hardest thing to do is have compassion for oneself.
Does this make sense to others? Anyone want to discuss?
I had a friend that literally ruined my high school life. Im doing 12th grade now, have no friends, have social phobia and bad grades.
Yet a girl asked me if i wanted to join their group, i said no. I was depressed, angered with myself for being so shy. So i decided i would write her a note with my e-mail adress. She added me, then i met another guy and a girl from their group. All this on msn.
Tomorrow they expect me to join them. That is my greatest fear. It's so lame it makes me angry with myself and consequently depressed.
I stopped being in anger with myself blaming a snake in my brain that i need to kill by facing my fears. When i kill this snake i will be free so i need to face my fears and go join that group.
I don't anger myself anymore when im depressed, i anger the snake that is inside me (my fears).
Hopefully it will work. High school is hard, Life is hard. Sadness is the yang of happiness. Without it there would be no ying.
Happiness is relative to sadness.
You need BAWLS to make something out of your life.