PRINCETON: You're a little bit racist.
KATE MONSTER: Well, you're a little bit too.
PRINCETON: I guess we're both a little bit racist.
KATE MONSTER: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do.
PRINCETON: But I guess it's true.
KATE MONSTER: Between me and you, I think . . .
BOTH: Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes
Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color-blind
Maybe it's a fact we all should face.
Everyone makes judgments . . .
Based on race.
. . . .
Ethnic jokes might be uncouth
But you laugh because they're based on truth
Don't take them as personal attacks
Everyone enjoys them —
So relax!
. . . .
KATE MONSTER: You're a little bit racist. . . .
GARY COLEMAN: All right! Bigotry has never been exclusively white —
ALL: If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit
Even though we all know that it's wrong
Maybe it would help us
Get along!
(Brian and his wife, Christmas Eve, enter.)
CHRISTMAS EVE: Brian! You come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
PRINCETON: What's that mean?
BRIAN: Recyclables.
(Everyone laughs.)
BRIAN: Don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
KATE MONSTER: Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone's a little bit racist.
BRIAN: I'm not.
PRINCETON: Oh no?
BRIAN: Nope!
How many Oriental wives have you got?
CHRISTMAS EVE: What? Brian!
PRINCETON: Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!
CHRISTMAS EVE: I know you are no intending to be,
But calling me Oriental —
Offensive to me!
BRIAN: I'm sorry, honey. I love you.
CHRISTMAS EVE: I love you.
BRIAN: But you're racist too.
CHRISTMAS EVE: Yes, I know.
The Jews have all the money
And the whites have all the power
And I'm always in taxi-cab with driver who no shower!
PRINCETON: Me too!
KATE MONSTER: Me too!
GARY COLEMAN: I can't even get a taxi!
ALL: Everyone's a little bit racist — it's true
But everyone is just about as racist — as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit
And everyone stopped being so P.C.,
Maybe
We could
Live in — harmony!
sorry guys, that was "Everyone's a little bit racist" from Avenue Q