PARENTS. Do you think your children should have privacy?

[Veolin]

crystal_pepzi

I'm the mother of two children.
I'll give my kids privacy as long as I believe that they're acting responsibly and are hanging out with an appropriate social circle. (This is not about cliques so much as it is about the personal behavior of their friends.) I do however reserve the right to put keystroke tracking software on my computer, check websites, install programs to record websites, the usernames and passwords on said websites as well as listen into conversations that are being held, look through their room or take any other steps I feel are necessary to keep them on what I consider the right track.

Any idiot knows that kids will lie if they think they can get away with it. I don't care how sweet they are or how much their parents trust them. I've seen it all, I've lived it before. And considering the crap gaia has on it now, they've only gotten worse.

So yeah, privacy is a given until they ******** up. Then I'm breaking out the lojack.

I like your way of thinking. Especially regarding computer tracking software or even vehicle tracking and monitoring.

Now I don't necessarily mean in terms of trying to spy on the kid, but these are steps I plan to take regardless when concerning my personal property. If they are using my computer and internet, or my car, then I WILL reserve the right to know what my children are doing with it. They can have their privacy concerning these things when they show the responsibility to work and buy their own computer/car/etc..

Just like I have no problems going through my kids things if I feel concerned they have something like drugs in their possession. Because I'm not getting in trouble or having my property seized because of such things. Just as I won't allow it to be done in my house. Period.

As example of why I would use computer monitoring, a friend of my husbands back in high school was extremely brilliant. Especially when it came to computers. So brilliant in fact that he managed to hack a federal website. As a minor living with his parents, I'm sure you can guess who had to deal with the fallout. Not only were all of their computer equipment seized, but everyone in the household went under investigation. While this is obviously not a norm for most kids, there are other things that minors can do to get into serious trouble, and thus possibly put their parents in a serious situation as well.

[Princess Z-M]

Cutie-pie Sleepyhead

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

No, it's a matter of different styles of parenting. Most comedians especially minority ones will tell you. Colored kids don't get the same "rights" white kids do. See when I was a child we didn't have locks on our doors and our parents could just bust into our rooms at any given moment and with the 4-9 of us running around the house you would have been stupid writing out anything in a book. When we finally did get a computer it was in dead center in the living room right next to the TV.

Again it's my damn house why should a child have privacy? What's to hide? I can't help but agree with Judge Judy when she said the only good teen is knocked out teen. I wish more parents used a bit more "caution" then all this teen violence and drama would cut down.

What people seem to not understand is Children under the age of 18 don't have the right to privacy when it comes to their parents. That's BS most of the time though assuming the parents are respectable people. Now due to the change in times some groups feel that children should be granted some "rights". However again that's for the parents to decided.

As again whatever in my house that I paid cash money for is mine. Rather or not some people disagree with that is fine but I'm have the right to raise my kid how I wish. I don't see anything wrong with it.

As I feel in a real trusting relationship no one hides anything and there's no need for any privacy.

[Kokoro Spirit]

I think that if you trust your kids enough, and they trust you enough, you won't need privacy.
If you have a close enough bond, your kids will almost always be open to you and seek you for guidance.

If I were a parent, I wouldn't go through my kid's diary for any reason; that's just too private. I would go through their belongings if I had my reasons.

However, computer privacy is different. If I suddenly found viruses on my computer, I would definitely search through my kid's history. I would also look at my kid's journal entries if they weren't clever enough to set them to private. I want to know what's going on in my child's life and what they might be thinking. smile

But my kid's won't know about the existence of the internet until they are 14. There's some crazy s**t out there.

[Bob Motley]

YES!!! YES YES YES!!! I am the RESULT of only about 7 years of close parental monitoring. I had no door, all my books were gone through on the daily, I was patted down when I came home from school and on the way there. That's not even the worst...
And as a grown man I'm STILL ******** up from it!
I have my own room in university because I scared my roomate away since I just locked myself
in a corner, put my mattress in said corner UNDER the bed frame. whee
Now I just keep everyone away, you touch my things you get hurt.
No way around it.

[Oni no Tenshi]

Children should have privacy...to a point.

The truth of the matter is that as a minor, your behavior and upbringing is legally bound to your parents. They are responsible for everything you do. So this can be tricky when it comes to things like depression or anger. If you are having lots of problems, it is your parent's job to help you get better, just like they are bound to take you to the hospital if you break a leg or an arm.

So, if you are seriously depressed, or something seems the matter and a child won't talk about it directly, breaking trust by looking at a diary might keep the child from doing something extreme, like attempting suicide.

Personally, I think that children and parents should have the type of relationship where they can talk to one another and not feel judged or attacked, but that's not possible for all people.

When it comes down to it, there is no "given" right to privacy; it is a privilege that must be earned by behavior and trustworthiness.

No human being is born with all the trappings of entitlement. We must earn much of what we get. And if a person does not earn these things, they usually end up pretty messed up.

[Princess Z-M]

Skittish Nature-Boy

YES!!! YES YES YES!!! I am the RESULT of only about 7 years of close parental monitoring. I had no door, all my books were gone through on the daily, I was patted down when I came home from school and on the way there. That's not even the worst...
And as a grown man I'm STILL ******** up from it!
I have my own room in university because I scared my roomate away since I just locked myself
in a corner, put my mattress in said corner UNDER the bed frame. whee
Now I just keep everyone away, you touch my things you get hurt.
No way around it.

I call BS on all accounts. Though I don't find it impossible just highly improbably granted most people would have had checked you for such behaviors.

[Patriotic Panther]

Kokoro Spirit

But my kid's won't know about the existence of the internet until they are 14.

I've mostly been reading. I'm not one to talk often.
But I just had to say, good luck with that. neutral

[Princess Z-M]

Patriotic Panther

Kokoro Spirit

But my kid's won't know about the existence of the internet until they are 14.

I've mostly been reading. I'm not one to talk often.
But I just had to say, good luck with that. neutral

It is possible. Considering some private schools and parents are doing just that banning computers and other gadgets from children. (Like all things it has it's Pro's and Con's)

I plan on not allowing my child to go online around the same time as well. I don't see the reason why small children should be online at all, or have cellphones, game systems, and all that crap.

No, go outside and play or take this over-sized cardboard box and use your head.

[Brick Hardmeat]

Kids don't have a right to privacy. They don't raise themselves, and if something's off with them parents have the right to look where they need to for verification or clarification.

But do I think parents should give their kids some privacy? Yes. Unless their kids are acting really weird and shady, there's no real reason to go snooping around, and kids have a higher sense of security if their parents give them at least some measure of privacy. All most parents got to do is pay attention to their kids' behavior and talk to them a lot. And kids got to realize that if they told their parents more about what and who is going on in their lives, parents wouldn't feel as strong a need to snoop. Parents need to know what's going on with their kids. That's just the way it is.

[ReneeSuccubus]

Broken heart... broken wings... broken dreams...
Questing WaterMeat Fish _______________



of course we should have privacy.. i mean i'm not going threw my mother's notebooks or sites or blog, neither should she
i'm not doing anything wrong, i'm just writting my thoughts, but she always wants to know what i'm doing, i feel like i'm suffocating
for example, today, when i woke up, i went online straight on gaia. and she came to my room and said to whom am i talking to at that hour, why did i woke up so early, i have something to hide etc. i mean she overreacts to everything, is really annoying! she should give me some space, she has to realise that i can't tell her anything, because of her, is her fault. cause when i tell her for example that i met a guy, she begins to flood me with questions if he studies hard, etc. and what if he doesn't? i mean you can't tell your heart to love someone.
that was just an example... she's always like that..

parents should realise that by not letting us have our privacy, we are even more willing to keep our stuff only for our eyes!

______________________________________ ... broken soul... broken rose

[Oni no Tenshi]

Patriotic Panther

Kokoro Spirit

But my kid's won't know about the existence of the internet until they are 14.

I've mostly been reading. I'm not one to talk often.
But I just had to say, good luck with that. neutral

Even back in the day when I was a kid, I had the computer, but no internet (internet consisted of AOL and other crappy dialup where you spent half an hour trying to get ONLINE in the first place). I spent HOURS playing stuff like Pipe Dream and Chip's Challenge, and all sorts of awesome games (look them up for nostalgia purposes).

I see no reason to let my kids online unsupervised until they are older. There are plenty of things to do offline, and to teach them the importance and usage of a computer, period.

But there are some great resources available to them, such as Google or Wikipedia (which, of course, should be cross-referenced to check facts), so I think it's important for kids to learn to use the internet for important things.

And, of course, I don't see much of a problem of a kid using various kid-themed websites for a little fun here and there. Currently, our connectivity is far-reaching-even video games involve signing into a network to play sometimes!

So, the most important thing as a parent is to teach your children to use these things responsibly.

Denying them knowledge of things that they will likely have to use every day as an adult is about as stupid as denying your children any knowledge of a car and then when they turn 18 suddenly expect them to drive responsibly.

[Kitten Hair]

Dear god, no. As a parent, I have a right to look into my kids 'private' stuff, I'll just do it without her knowing and if she ever finds out that i looked and confronts me about it, then I won't deny it because If my kid sees me as a snooper i don't want her to have to see me as a liar too.

[Population Tire]

I'm given my privacy and my family respects my need for privacy at certain things, my life is my own just as their lives are their own. And do you know what happens? I leave my door wide open, because that privacy has allowed me room to grow enough that I'm at a point where I don't need it any more. If I hadn't been allowed privacy I probably would have become a real d**k.