PARENTS. Do you think your children should have privacy?

[I got bored one day]

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

[Irahatam]

Death and Misery

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

With all the reports on the news and the things that never make it on the news I'd say they're not paranoid, just being cautious.

[Track02_restore]

Irahatam

Death and Misery

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

With all the reports on the news and the things that never make it on the news I'd say they're not paranoid, just being cautious.

Exactly. If the parents of those boys that shot up Columbine had read their diaries, they would have known what they were going to do and could have stopped them, saving everyone that died that day.

[I got bored one day]

Irahatam

Death and Misery

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

With all the reports on the news and the things that never make it on the news I'd say they're not paranoid, just being cautious.

Realistically those happenstances are rare. This reminds me of the woman who heard that a child fell on a knife in an open dishwasher and started pointing her knives down because of it. Is it a good counter-measure, sure, but it wasn't born out of reason, just fear.

Being cautious isn't being restricting to the point where your kid can't s**t without you in the room.

[Track02_restore]

Death and Misery

Irahatam

Death and Misery

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

With all the reports on the news and the things that never make it on the news I'd say they're not paranoid, just being cautious.

Realistically those happenstances are rare. This reminds me of the woman who heard that a child fell on a knife in an open dishwasher and started pointing her knives down because of it. Is it a good counter-measure, sure, but it wasn't born out of reason, just fear.

Being cautious isn't being restricting to the point where your kid can't s**t without you in the room.

Going through your kids room is far from not letting them take a s**t without you there watching.

[TararistThreat]

To an extent, yes, but there may come a point in time when I suspect my son is doing something harmful to himself or others. Thankfully, that is not a situation we're facing, and for now, he's more than earned enough trust that perusing his personal mail or journal is simply out of the question.

[Shpleck]

As a minor, privacy has is a privilege, thus meaning, your doing a good job in school, you are not breaking curfew, you are completing all chores, etc. you have my trust, and therefore have privacy . Also, without prof to make further judgments I would not invade the privacy of things like a journal, but, the second the child is to break trust, by doing ALL of the above not just a few, but all (for things like a journal you have to be doing something pretty outrageous for me to break curfew.). Then you bet your a** I would read that book, I would read it so i would know, if there was drug use, sex,(sorry, if I were to have a girl, as any dad would agree, sex is a huge no no) the list goes on.

[Irahatam]

Death and Misery

Irahatam

Death and Misery

Princess Z-M

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

It sounds like paranoia fuels your fire.

With all the reports on the news and the things that never make it on the news I'd say they're not paranoid, just being cautious.

Realistically those happenstances are rare. This reminds me of the woman who heard that a child fell on a knife in an open dishwasher and started pointing her knives down because of it. Is it a good counter-measure, sure, but it wasn't born out of reason, just fear.
Being cautious isn't being restricting to the point where your kid can't s**t without you in the room.

Lol, come on Death, even my oldest wayward son could use the bathroom on his own without me barging in. I do draw the line in certain things.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

Hepzeba

Reminiscent Soul Dream

ℛ ϵ ɱ ɨ η ɨ s ϲ ϵ η ȶ xx Ϛ ѳ ʊ ʆ xx D ʀ ϵ ɑ ɱ ☪
⊰[⇝ღ⇜]⊱


Parents.
Do you think your children should have the right to privacy?
If your child, say your daughter, had a private diary where she writes about things that go on in her life, her feelings, whether they are positive or negative, and other personal things, would you sneak in her room and steal her diary and read it?
Or a private blog?
I know many kids these days, especially teens, have diaries or a blog they set and keep as private, meaning only they can see it.
Many teens have these things because sometimes it is hard for them to talk to others about it. A lot of them work things out better when their thoughts are collected. Instead of taking out their problems and issues and feelings on other people, they write to calm down and make sense of things. However, they do not want others to see their thoughts, because, (from what I can gather, and from what friends have told me) they are afraid of being shunned or feeling guilty for things they cannot control.
Many of my friends tell me that their parents make them think one thing, and turn them prejudice against certain ideals whenever their parents discover their private/personal beliefs and opinions.
While I agree that parents can help kids with their problems, I think it's best that whatever kids write in their diaries/private blogs, should stay private.

Parents, what do you think?
Should kids have a right to their privacy?
Discuss:
Privacy in phone conversations, Instant Messaging, Text Messaging, Diaries, Blogs, Journals, Letters, etc.

My daughter kept a secret diary which she shared with a counselor and not me when she was younger. It did not have a lock. But I never looked in it, nor was I even tempted to look in it because I trusted the woman with whom she was sharing it during counseling.

This past weekend, coincidentally, we went through her Hope Chest looking for Halloween Costumes. She pulled out that diary and began sharing it with the family. We were all rolling because of how cute it was and how funny were the memories of when her brother was a baby and he annoyed her.

She told me that she was always fearful that I would read it and that she was really surprised that I never had. So it was like a time capsule of family experiences from the past and were very comical and enjoyable to share when she was ready. She is now an adult aged 22.

Wow. You seem like a very good parent. It seems like you have a very good relationship with your daughter.

I responded to your reply because I really felt like this was an example of trust and how that can lead to a good family relationship.
I think sometimes kids aren't ready to tell their parents some things, for a natural fear that they would get in trouble, even if the things they did or thought or wrote or spoke weren't trouble-worthy, even in the eyes of parents. This is one of the reasons why I think privacy, should be naturally given and only revoked if there should be reason to do so. It's also a way of letting kids grow as a person.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

crystal_pepzi

I'm the mother of two children.
I'll give my kids privacy as long as I believe that they're acting responsibly and are hanging out with an appropriate social circle. (This is not about cliques so much as it is about the personal behavior of their friends.) I do however reserve the right to put keystroke tracking software on my computer, check websites, install programs to record websites, the usernames and passwords on said websites as well as listen into conversations that are being held, look through their room or take any other steps I feel are necessary to keep them on what I consider the right track.

Any idiot knows that kids will lie if they think they can get away with it. I don't care how sweet they are or how much their parents trust them. I've seen it all, I've lived it before. And considering the crap gaia has on it now, they've only gotten worse.

So yeah, privacy is a given until they ******** up. Then I'm breaking out the lojack.

I think you are a very good mother.
It seems like privacy is a privilege, not a right, to you. I agree.
Although, I don't think I'm in full agreement of keeping track of usernames and passwords and listening in on conversations, no offense intended of course. It's just that knowing the websites should be enough and if there is an issue, communicating with your children should be enough. Technically since it is your computer and they are minors, you have a right to know their usernames and passwords, especially if you have reason to know. And with listening into conversations - I guess it just depends on the listener. I'd prefer it if whoever was listening in to my conversations know the whole story before accusing me of anything, but of course I am not assuming you bluntly accuse your children of anything, or would ever do so.
It's just my opinion.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

Nainboruto

When I have kids, they're getting all the privacy they want.

I'm curious to know why this will be so for you?

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

ZechsK

Reminiscent Soul Dream

todpury

Privacy is very important with kids. I think if a parent is worried that their child is getting involved with something potentially harmful, instead of leafing through a diary (which could easily be a minefield for a parent), they should set aside time to have a serious discussion with their kid.

I definitely agree with you on this. Many parents nowadays just find it easier to find the faults of their child and punish them for it, thinking it will 'fix' their child. This is, one, psychologically damaging, and two, a wrong way of teaching their children right from wrong.
I think it's better and much more fulfilling if parents sit down with their children and have a serious discussion (like you said) and make sure their children understand what they did wrong and better ways of doing things. But in the process, parents should make sure they understand their children and why their children might be doing such things.

Agreed.

But there is an exception to this. Where you have tried to talk to your child and they just won't learn then their rights should be restricted. e.g. My friends bro was is smoking weed, skipping school, failing and his parents talked to him, his parents sent him to a shrink, his parents were not abusive and told him they loved him constantly and are VERY open minded so much so that they didn't even bat an eye when their other son came out as gay. And I know all this becuase I spent many nights over their house cuz I lived further away at the time so would stay with them rather than commute home.

My friends bro had a good life but was just pissing it away so now he has no privacy, they don't like to leave him alone at home and always try to find something to keep him under someones supervision, and are considering taking the locks off his room door.

That's true. I believe that privacy should be a natural right but children must work at keeping it.
If you do not work to keep it, then privacy should not be given.

With what you have told me, it seems like his parents are actually very good parents, open minded, unconditionally loving, and that he only took their love and his freedoms for granted.

[AloysiusWeasley]

Shpleck

As a minor, privacy has is a privilege, thus meaning, your doing a good job in school, you are not breaking curfew, you are completing all chores, etc. you have my trust, and therefore have privacy . Also, without prof to make further judgments I would not invade the privacy of things like a journal, but, the second the child is to break trust, by doing ALL of the above not just a few, but all (for things like a journal you have to be doing something pretty outrageous for me to break curfew.). Then you bet your a** I would read that book, I would read it so i would know, if there was drug use, sex,(sorry, if I were to have a girl, as any dad would agree, sex is a huge no no) the list goes on.

Sooooo...it would be okay if your male child was having sex? rolleyes

[Veolin]

I do believe a kid has a right to privacy in that sense, unless of course they have done something to have that privacy revoked. Such examples being become very self destructive, or destructive towards other people.

The way my mother always approached it was privacy and trust was earned. If I didn't give her a reason to have serious concern for myself or others, then she left me and my private belongings pretty much alone.

[x___Doctor Ruri]

Absolutely not.
Do I want to take care of my son's illigitimate child because he knocked up some tramp and got together over text messaging and I split them up before I got stuck with either paying HER bills or having a baby in my house again? I don't think so. I think if there is a LEGITIMATE reason you think you should be monitoring your child (i.e. like in this example, if you're pretty sure they're slinking around and having sex unprotected, I wouldn't care if he did if he'd just TELL me and let me buy him condoms honestly) or if you think they're going to hurt themselves (via looking at depressing blogs where they speak about suicide/self mutilation) I think a parent has EVERY right to protect their child from those situations.

Does that mean I'm going to monitor everything my children do? Not really. Like I said, if I have a legitimate reason to worry about something that will affect my life (like a baby in the house/paying for a sixteen year old's child support) or will potentially endanger my child in a life/death situation, I would look. But otherwise, I don't mind what their ideals are since I'm pretty liberal myself, and would encourage them to have their own opinions, even if their opinions of ME are bad because they're not always happy with my decisions.