PARENTS. Do you think your children should have privacy?

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

Kilomech

I believe that it's not right to go through your child's diary for information. Online blogs, if they're set to private-only are the same thing. If it's a public blog then read away, but private information should be kept private.

My parents used to buy me diaries when I was younger. Lots of them. And, despite them buying them for me, I used to have to hide them in different places every few days just to keep them from snooping in them. If they found them, they would tear out certain pages and then confront me about them later on. It's horribly offensive.

If your parents used to buy you diaries but then they would go into your diaries, as far as even tearing out pages from it, then that doesn't seem like they have much respect for you.
It's kind of not trusting to a huge extent in a way. It's like they're setting you up so that they can go into your life and your private belongings.
I would definitely disagree on letting parents invade my privacy if I were in a situation like this. There are many other more beneficial ways on helping your children with issues or staying connected with your child and their lives than this.

[anima won]

Pro-privacy. It's a necessity in my opinion. To a certain degree.

From my own experience, it will not do a parent any good when they start snooping. Unless the child is in great danger (hard drugs, ******** up friends etc), then I don't see why the parent would feel the need to want to snoop. Everyone has a right to their own privacy. Especially a diary/journal because they are personal thoughts just written down. Private thoughts. If it's just for the point of the parent knowing everything going on in their child's life, then I think it's a bit overbearing. I havn't spoken to my father in 3 years because of this. I have madd anxiety because this is exactly what my father did. IDK, to me I beleive a child should have some space to grow and find themselves rather than being under scrutiny 24/7. It's like unneeded added pressure on them, which is lame.

[The Zodikosis]

This is the Zodiac speaking...

Hm, in that case, yes. But there is a certain level of nosiness a parent must have to be a good parent. Children are so sneaky nowadays in how they go about their mischief that one has to be vigilant if they want to keep their kids off of a really bad path. To the point of reading diaries and tapping phone calls, no. But to making sure you know who your kid is going out with, to where, for what, and for how long? Totally acceptable.

...that is all.

[doctorjackal777]

I believe children, more teens need a certain level of privacy. If you expect them to start acting like adults as they grow, then you should respect them as adults in all things, not only when it suits you. That said, if you became concerned your child was involved in something dangerous, like drugs or was cutting themselves, then you should address the issue. But then you'd do that if they were your neighbor or another grown relative.

EDIT: Read a few other posts and wanted to add something. Quite a number of years ago I was suffering major stress from school, so to calm down without punching someone I drew a bunch of violent pictures for stress relief. After the stress period was over I threw the pictures away. I don't enjoy looking at violence and once they were no longer necessary I got rid of them. My mum found them in the trash and smacked me across the head and was all like 'whats wrong with you! Why are you drawing disgusting things like this!' Despite the fact that I had thrown them away I had to explain to her exactly why I'd drawn them. It really freaked me out you know. I think it was around then I lost my interest in drawing to. But I don't know whether that's related or just coincidence.

[pashight]

Privacy can be good or bad. Privacy is bad if a teenager is doing something to hurt themselves or someone else (such as bullying other students). Privacy is good if a guardian would unfairly punish their child (such as kicking them out for being gay). For a guardian to accept that their children having privacy is good, they would have to accept that their opinions are not always the right ones, and they do not always know what's best for their child. That's my moral beliefs on privacy.

[oNeque]

If I had a daughter, I would let her have her privacy with a diary, and have private phone calls. But I would monitor what she does on the computer closely for obvious reasons. When she moves out she can as she wishes.

[Hepzeba]

Reminiscent Soul Dream

ℛ ϵ ɱ ɨ η ɨ s ϲ ϵ η ȶ xx Ϛ ѳ ʊ ʆ xx D ʀ ϵ ɑ ɱ ☪
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Parents.
Do you think your children should have the right to privacy?
If your child, say your daughter, had a private diary where she writes about things that go on in her life, her feelings, whether they are positive or negative, and other personal things, would you sneak in her room and steal her diary and read it?
Or a private blog?
I know many kids these days, especially teens, have diaries or a blog they set and keep as private, meaning only they can see it.
Many teens have these things because sometimes it is hard for them to talk to others about it. A lot of them work things out better when their thoughts are collected. Instead of taking out their problems and issues and feelings on other people, they write to calm down and make sense of things. However, they do not want others to see their thoughts, because, (from what I can gather, and from what friends have told me) they are afraid of being shunned or feeling guilty for things they cannot control.
Many of my friends tell me that their parents make them think one thing, and turn them prejudice against certain ideals whenever their parents discover their private/personal beliefs and opinions.
While I agree that parents can help kids with their problems, I think it's best that whatever kids write in their diaries/private blogs, should stay private.

Parents, what do you think?
Should kids have a right to their privacy?
Discuss:
Privacy in phone conversations, Instant Messaging, Text Messaging, Diaries, Blogs, Journals, Letters, etc.

My daughter kept a secret diary which she shared with a counselor and not me when she was younger. It did not have a lock. But I never looked in it, nor was I even tempted to look in it because I trusted the woman with whom she was sharing it during counseling.

This past weekend, coincidentally, we went through her Hope Chest looking for Halloween Costumes. She pulled out that diary and began sharing it with the family. We were all rolling because of how cute it was and how funny were the memories of when her brother was a baby and he annoyed her.

She told me that she was always fearful that I would read it and that she was really surprised that I never had. So it was like a time capsule of family experiences from the past and were very comical and enjoyable to share when she was ready. She is now an adult aged 22.

[Mr Ransom 2]

yes to an extent

I will probably not go though my sons texts and stuff, unless I suspect something, then again, I do work for Verizon and I can pull up his records at work, but still, I believe in trust, if he gives me a reason not to trust him, then he will not get much privacy

[AloysiusWeasley]

doctorjackal777

I believe children, more teens need a certain level of privacy. If you expect them to start acting like adults as they grow, then you should respect them as adults in all things, not only when it suits you. That said, if you became concerned your child was involved in something dangerous, like drugs or was cutting themselves, then you should address the issue. But then you'd do that if they were your neighbor or another grown relative.

EDIT: Read a few other posts and wanted to add something. Quite a number of years ago I was suffering major stress from school, so to calm down without punching someone I drew a bunch of violent pictures for stress relief. After the stress period was over I threw the pictures away. I don't enjoy looking at violence and once they were no longer necessary I got rid of them. My mum found them in the trash and smacked me across the head and was all like 'whats wrong with you! Why are you drawing disgusting things like this!' Despite the fact that I had thrown them away I had to explain to her exactly why I'd drawn them. It really freaked me out you know. I think it was around then I lost my interest in drawing to. But I don't know whether that's related or just coincidence.

I did the same thing, only with stories instead. It was years before I started writing again. >.<

It likely is related, as while I wrote poetry a long time after that to express things that were happening to me or going on with me, never again did I write a story to express my frustration, and I really didn't feel any enthusiasm to get into doing that with online blogging, either. It instilled a feeling that I'd better keep things bottled up, lest someone find them. When I did start writing again, I guarded my writings like Fort Knox, and still do. Paranoia, FTW.

[Princess Z-M]

If they live in my house in which I pay all the bills, feed them, and such then no they don't have any privacy. I didn't have privacy either and it worked out for the better. I mean if you have a well-rounded relationship with your child they shouldn't be afraid to go to you for ANY reason whateverso.

As far as any online activities hell that will be closely monitored when I have a kid. In fact the computer will be in an area in which any and all eyes will be able to see what each person is doing.

Again my computer my rules. If anything too many kids are given too much privacy nowadays. That's why we have all these damn school shootings and s**t.

[Pwn3r_F0x]

I believe my child should have the illusion of privacy. But my job used to be finding out private matters, but on an international scale. So of course I know privacy can be dangerous, but so can no privacy. You will get one very sneaky child, which can be good or bad. The illusion of privacy on the other hand keeps me knowing of everything while not teaching them other bad habits. But I know family history that behavior needs to be monitored before something gets out of control.

[crystal_pepzi]

I'm the mother of two children.
I'll give my kids privacy as long as I believe that they're acting responsibly and are hanging out with an appropriate social circle. (This is not about cliques so much as it is about the personal behavior of their friends.) I do however reserve the right to put keystroke tracking software on my computer, check websites, install programs to record websites, the usernames and passwords on said websites as well as listen into conversations that are being held, look through their room or take any other steps I feel are necessary to keep them on what I consider the right track.

Any idiot knows that kids will lie if they think they can get away with it. I don't care how sweet they are or how much their parents trust them. I've seen it all, I've lived it before. And considering the crap gaia has on it now, they've only gotten worse.

So yeah, privacy is a given until they ******** up. Then I'm breaking out the lojack.

[Nainboruto]

When I have kids, they're getting all the privacy they want.

[ZechsK]

Reminiscent Soul Dream

todpury

Privacy is very important with kids. I think if a parent is worried that their child is getting involved with something potentially harmful, instead of leafing through a diary (which could easily be a minefield for a parent), they should set aside time to have a serious discussion with their kid.

I definitely agree with you on this. Many parents nowadays just find it easier to find the faults of their child and punish them for it, thinking it will 'fix' their child. This is, one, psychologically damaging, and two, a wrong way of teaching their children right from wrong.
I think it's better and much more fulfilling if parents sit down with their children and have a serious discussion (like you said) and make sure their children understand what they did wrong and better ways of doing things. But in the process, parents should make sure they understand their children and why their children might be doing such things.

Agreed.

But there is an exception to this. Where you have tried to talk to your child and they just won't learn then their rights should be restricted. e.g. My friends bro was is smoking weed, skipping school, failing and his parents talked to him, his parents sent him to a shrink, his parents were not abusive and told him they loved him constantly and are VERY open minded so much so that they didn't even bat an eye when their other son came out as gay. And I know all this becuase I spent many nights over their house cuz I lived further away at the time so would stay with them rather than commute home.

My friends bro had a good life but was just pissing it away so now he has no privacy, they don't like to leave him alone at home and always try to find something to keep him under someones supervision, and are considering taking the locks off his room door.

[Irahatam]

My kids have private things that they write and I respect their privacy about it. But then, my kids are rather tame and have not given me a reason to not trust them.
I have an older son who is married now and has straightened his life up but, at one time he was on drugs and had no respect for his father or myself. He got unmanageable in that he would curse us and get violent with us and his siblings. We tried everything to help him see what he was doing so he wouldn't ruin his life.
He finally got kicked out and went to live with friends. He would come back occasionally and boast about the things he was doing. I could only tell him that I loved him and ask him to be careful. But eventually his life got worse.
To make a long story short he had to get to the bottom before he looked up and realized what all he had done. And to answer your question about would I ever read my child's diary...only if that child started displaying troubling attitudes, like my oldest son.
My oldest son once brought home playboy magazines and hid them under his bed. I found them when I was changing his sheets and proceeded to burn them. When he came hone that night I heard him in his room say, "Aw man!" But he knew what my rule was on that issue and he never complained to my face about it.
Today we joke about it and he doesn't keep them in his house now either.
It's best to give your child privacy and let them learn that you trust them. But if a child starts displaying behavior that is questionable in your eyes, you may need to have a sit down with them or do some investigating on your own.