PARENTS. Do you think your children should have privacy?

[OneWithDunamis]

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Death and Misery

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What exactly is it that you kids are trying to keep hidden from your parents?
And it's not an invasion of privacy when you live in their house.

We might not be hiding anything, but for a parent to distrust their children so much that they have to go through their stuff is just wrong. I'm not a bad kid, I don't write about anything bad in my journals or blogs or whatever, but it's NOT RIGTH for a parent to go through their kid's things.

Who says they don't trust them? Kids will always have things they want to hide from their parents, even if it's nothing big enough to warrant hiding it. That doesn't mean the parent does not have every right to look through their child's stuff as long as they live in their house. It is right, you just don't like the idea.

Humans factually need space. This is not about rights and liberties, this is literally about biology. Not giving your kids space can almost be considered abuse in some cases.

Proof, please and thank you.

Lock them in a cage and see what happens?

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OneWithDunamis

If your child is masturbating you should sit there and watch, and make sure he or she doesn't hurt the vital organs or stunt their growths.

I don't want to know how a kid can masturbate that would cause harm to vital organs or stunt their growth.
I also don't want trolls cluttering up a good thread.

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Who says they don't trust them? Kids will always have things they want to hide from their parents, even if it's nothing big enough to warrant hiding it. That doesn't mean the parent does not have every right to look through their child's stuff as long as they live in their house. It is right, you just don't like the idea.

And why would they go through their things if they trust them?

You don't need to not trust a kid to check up on what they're doing.

So, it's just RIGHT and PROPER for your parents to walk into your room while you're watching tv, dig around your stuff, and just walk out? Just because they want to?

It's by the parent's discretion. It's right, if they choose to, and fine if they don't.

Is it right if the parents chose the beat the ******** out of their child? They chose to...
I consider not giving privacy to be abuse.

[Overexposure]

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We might not be hiding anything, but for a parent to distrust their children so much that they have to go through their stuff is just wrong. I'm not a bad kid, I don't write about anything bad in my journals or blogs or whatever, but it's NOT RIGTH for a parent to go through their kid's things.

Who says they don't trust them? Kids will always have things they want to hide from their parents, even if it's nothing big enough to warrant hiding it. That doesn't mean the parent does not have every right to look through their child's stuff as long as they live in their house. It is right, you just don't like the idea.

And why would they go through their things if they trust them?

You don't need to not trust a kid to check up on what they're doing.

So, it's just RIGHT and PROPER for your parents to walk into your room while you're watching tv, dig around your stuff, and just walk out? Just because they want to?

Yes.

Just because YOU don't like it, doesn't mean they can't. Of course you aren't going to like it.

You're also over-dramatizing. And what kind of kid has a TV in his room? I don't even have a TV in my room, and I own the house. You should be thanking your parents when they search your room. It means they care about you.


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Is it right if the parents chose the beat the ******** out of their child? They chose to...
I consider not giving privacy to be abuse.

I consider allowing children privacy to be neglect.

Your move.

[EmotionallyInconsistent]

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Who says they don't trust them? Kids will always have things they want to hide from their parents, even if it's nothing big enough to warrant hiding it. That doesn't mean the parent does not have every right to look through their child's stuff as long as they live in their house. It is right, you just don't like the idea.

And why would they go through their things if they trust them?

You don't need to not trust a kid to check up on what they're doing.

So, it's just RIGHT and PROPER for your parents to walk into your room while you're watching tv, dig around your stuff, and just walk out? Just because they want to?

Yes.

Just because YOU don't like it, doesn't mean they can't. Of course you aren't going to like it.

You're also over-dramatizing. And what kind of kid has a TV in his room? I don't even have a TV in my room, and I own the house. You should be thanking your parents when they search your room. It means they care about you.

My niece and nephew each have a TV in their room, but they get those educational video games that you can hook up to the tv and nothing else.

[Yami no Hitokiri]

I think it should be innocent till proven guilty. As long as a teen isn't exhibiting any off-putting behavior, leave them alone when they want to be alone. Don't snoop in their computer or anything else.

If the teen is acting like something might be way off, then intervention may be required.

Parents who go through their teens' stuff "because they can" are a**l retentive control freaks.

[TheVoiceOfTheLobster]

Privacy is just another word for trust and distance. You have to give your kids room and trust they'll do the right thing...

However, I don't suggest you start trying that until they've shown they can be responsible and trusted.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

ℛ ϵ ɱ ɨ η ɨ s ϲ ϵ η ȶ xx Ϛ ѳ ʊ ʆ xx D ʀ ϵ ɑ ɱ ☪
⊰[⇝ღ⇜]⊱


Now reading through others' opinions on this matter, I've formed some varying opinions of my own.
I think it changes on how much privacy a kid has, and is based on the parents and the children themselves, and how much privacy as well.

If parents are overprotective (and by 'overprotective' I mean that as judged by a psychologist, not a kid's frame of mind), a child would have very little privacy. Overprotective parents tend to not let their kids do anything or have a constant fear of bad things happening to their children. They wouldn't let their children go over their friend's house for fear that they might get killed by a burglar or serial killer. They wouldn't let their ten year old try to ice skate because they are afraid he/she will break a leg. Thus, with these fears that bad things will happen to their children through everything their children do, parents may not give children that much privacy.

If parents are controlling, they want to control many aspects of their children's lives, and this would definitely result in very little to no privacy at all.

Parents who are looser or more lenient/trusting, would give their children some privacy. Now with this, parental personalities go deeper. Are these trusting parents neglectful or responsibly trusting? If it comes to the point where parents are neglectful of everything that has to deal with their children, then privacy would be seen as a bad thing.
In my opinion, you can't really say that giving children privacy is negligence. If that were true, many, many people in this country (I'm only referring to the U.S.) would be victims of negligence.

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Who says they don't trust them? Kids will always have things they want to hide from their parents, even if it's nothing big enough to warrant hiding it. That doesn't mean the parent does not have every right to look through their child's stuff as long as they live in their house. It is right, you just don't like the idea.

And why would they go through their things if they trust them?

You don't need to not trust a kid to check up on what they're doing.

So, it's just RIGHT and PROPER for your parents to walk into your room while you're watching tv, dig around your stuff, and just walk out? Just because they want to?

It's by the parent's discretion. It's right, if they choose to, and fine if they don't.

Is it right if the parents chose the beat the ******** out of their child? They chose to...

Nice strawman. And I was looking forward to a discussion that lasted... Ah well, I still get a point for making you fail.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

ℛ ϵ ɱ ɨ η ɨ s ϲ ϵ η ȶ xx Ϛ ѳ ʊ ʆ xx D ʀ ϵ ɑ ɱ ☪
⊰[⇝ღ⇜]⊱

TheVoiceOfTheLobster:: I am in agreement with you.

But how come so many parents seem to want their kids to do the wrong thing so that they can have more control over their kids' lives? I mean, that's what I see, from my experience and my friends' experiences. I might be missing something vital?
And by every parents' standards 'responsibility' and 'things trustworthy' have different factors. Some parents are stricter and have more rigorous standards their kids have to live by while other parents have less standards.
When it comes to a child's diary or other private form of personal expression, should parents have the right to invade their child's privacy?

[EmotionallyInconsistent]

What's important to remember is that you as a parent to NOT want to foster an environment of mistrust.

My father did that... but in a slightly different case. I told him things in good faith that maybe he wanted to help me or something--I thought he was concerned. Instead he turned what information I trustingly shared with him against me--he used them as violent stabs to demean and hurt me. neutral

[Rawkxy]

More often then not, if kids are given their 'privacy' they're gonna do something stupid.
Parents need to keep a CLOSER watch on their children if anything.

[Overexposure]

Reminiscent Soul Dream

But how come so many parents seem to want their kids to do the wrong thing so that they can have more control over their kids' lives? I mean, that's what I see, from my experience and my friends' experiences. I might be missing something vital?
And by every parents' standards 'responsibility' and 'things trustworthy' have different factors. Some parents are stricter and have more rigorous standards their kids have to live by while other parents have less standards.
When it comes to a child's diary or other private form of personal expression, should parents have the right to invade their child's privacy?

Wrecking your pretty designs for space purposes : (

Any parent who WANTS their kids to fail so they can have more control is a control freak. I have yet to meet someone who wants their kids to fail. I've met parents who will sometimes step back and say, do what you will, to allow them to learn a lesson, but it's not for control.

Yea, what is considered responsible and trustworthy will vary from person to person. Just being parents won't change that.

I would say that, Yes a parent has the right to read those things. I would emphasize that they should allow their children to have privacy and only violate if they feel there is a problem.

Say your child is acting secretive. He (or she!) has recently and abruptly stopped talking about whats going on in their life. You may have caught them lying about where they were at some times or may have noticed them sneaking in our out of the house. They won't tell you why when you ask them about it.

What do you do? Do you continue to respect your child's privacy? Or do you see if you can gain insight into the issue by reading their diary/blog?

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

EmotionallyInconsistent

What's important to remember is that you as a parent to NOT want to foster an environment of mistrust.

My father did that... but in a slightly different case. I told him things in good faith that maybe he wanted to help me or something--I thought he was concerned. Instead he turned what information I trustingly shared with him against me--he used them as violent stabs to demean and hurt me. neutral

That is very true.
I think what many people have as a problem is where to draw the line between an atmosphere of no trust and neglecting their child.

I am sorry you had to go through that with your father. I kind of understand how you feel - my parents did that to me as well when they read my diary two years ago, but I guess that is in a different way.

And for those of you who have thoughts that I had some nasty, horrendous stuff in my diary, I didn't. They were just personal things - crushes, the friends I had luckily come to make, school stress, dreams and hopes and wishes.

[Reminiscent Soul Dream]

Overexposure

Reminiscent Soul Dream

But how come so many parents seem to want their kids to do the wrong thing so that they can have more control over their kids' lives? I mean, that's what I see, from my experience and my friends' experiences. I might be missing something vital?
And by every parents' standards 'responsibility' and 'things trustworthy' have different factors. Some parents are stricter and have more rigorous standards their kids have to live by while other parents have less standards.
When it comes to a child's diary or other private form of personal expression, should parents have the right to invade their child's privacy?

Wrecking your pretty designs for space purposes : (

Any parent who WANTS their kids to fail so they can have more control is a control freak. I have yet to meet someone who wants their kids to fail. I've met parents who will sometimes step back and say, do what you will, to allow them to learn a lesson, but it's not for control.

Yea, what is considered responsible and trustworthy will vary from person to person. Just being parents won't change that.

I would say that, Yes a parent has the right to read those things. I would emphasize that they should allow their children to have privacy and only violate if they feel there is a problem.

Say your child is acting secretive. He (or she!) has recently and abruptly stopped talking about whats going on in their life. You may have caught them lying about where they were at some times or may have noticed them sneaking in our out of the house. They won't tell you why when you ask them about it.

What do you do? Do you continue to respect your child's privacy? Or do you see if you can gain insight into the issue by reading their diary/blog?

Haha, don't worry about the design >.<

Hm, I wouldn't say I meant that the parents wanted their kids to fail, but more that I see a lot of parents seem to pick out the flaws in their children and magnify those flaws so that they can have more control over their children's lives.

Yes, it seems like it makes more sense to only invade a child's privacy if there seemed to be an issue.

As an answer to your question, in my opinion, I would, if I were a parent, ask them about it, and talk to them, and ask them to shed light on this/these observations of sudden strange behavior. If they refuse to do so and give me the cold shoulder once again, I would take the action of reading their diary/blog. If I find there is nothing of consequence, I would tell them that I read their diary out of concern and I would promise to not do it again unless I felt that there was an absolute time necessary to do so. If I found something of consequence, I would probably bring it up and reduce some of their freedoms.