"omg! get a real bf/gf!" Internet dating is OKAY.

Have you dated online?

Yeah, it didn't work out though.	19.2%	[ 6650 ]
Nope.	36.3%	[ 12587 ]
Yes! And things worked out great.	11.0%	[ 3813 ]
I didn't choose to date online, I just fell in love.	14.3%	[ 4945 ]
Poll whores, click here!	19.2%	[ 6634 ]
Total Votes:			[ 34629 ]

[CAPTAIN Plixy[Stix]]

Jet Angel

i seriously think dating or whatever you want to call it on the internet, it seriously really lame.....it makes me wonder for the people out there that actually do it.

Got anything to add to that? You didn't give a good reason why it's bad.

Relowinya

[I am teh Haruka]

What if they're a 40 year old perv?!
And that is where the webcam comes in. There's also something called "trust". Some people might not have webcams, but that's their choice to take a chance or not.

So what if they are? If you're carrying on a loving, mutual relationship on-line with someone, and they turn out to be a 40-year-old perve, then so what? If you really love someone, you'll get over that "eww" factor real quick.

I don't think many teens would want to love a 40 year old man.

It's looked down upon in society, but if the person doesn't care, I guess it wouldn't matter. But personally, I wouldn't talk to that guy if he was 40.

tarzan_the_spade

i do think it is a bad idea...i just beleive it cant be a true relationship without seeing the other person, holding the other persons hand, being able to kiss the person, smelling the persons hair when you hug them...

And that's why you meet offline, it turns into a long distance relationship. I keep saying that over and over, do I need to edit the first post?

Kukushka

-snip snip-

PS: And people who date online only do so because they can't find anyone offline? That's bullcock. When I met my fiance (online), I was actually going out with a very nice boy from my school. Before that, I had had two official boyfriends and one off-and-on girlfriend. I've loved them all and they all hold a special place in my heart, but none of them came close to how wonderful my fiance is. Should I have settled for these people who were definitely the lesser choices just because it's "weird" to start a relationship online?

Wow, that's very nice for you both. =D (And I'm not being sarcastic)

HiNikki

I don't think Online Dating is a good idea. Think about it. What if it was some kidnapper who wanted you for a ransom? Or maybe a murderer who just got out of jail, and is looking to start trouble? It's very dangerous.

Why would anyone wait a long time to kill someone when they can just go out and kill someone in that hour? It's stupid.

connle_shiftly

I did it a few times and some of them last a long time, longest being a year. But Seeing the person becomes a big problem and I only got to see her so many times a month. We called it off after a while. I think it should be for people old enough to handle it. 12 and 14 should not. They think they fall in love in a day or something just because the other says it or says they like it that person a lot.

Some kids can fall in love. And I'm not talking about that "I like you!11 lets be gf/bf!"

Lefure

I'm also astounded by the number of people who believe you can fall in love based on anonymous text. I don't care who you think you know, you do not have the capability to percieve if something online is the real deal. What you're 'falling in love' with is probably just some nice philosophy that may or not be actually applied in the person's life. How someone reacts to IRL situations is very, very important in a relationship. Especially one over long distances. Because it's hard to make getting together work financially and emotionally.
Sure, persue meeting people you know online in a safe, healthy way. But don't fool yourself thinking you're already deep in the throws of love. It's incredibly superficial and foolish.

Some people already have.

And they stated it in this thread.

EDIT: Some people have said this. And I'll repeat my answer.

Internet dating is pointless if it's just going to stay online. You might as well not date at all if you're not gonna take it farther. I wouldn't even consider that a good relationship anyway.

It's not always 100% safe.

If you have doubts about the person, then don't talk to them. Simple as that.

[Yagasaki]

I think online relasionships are cool, but I like intemasy.

[Phaedrus17]

Hm. The only problem I can find with online dating lies in the anonymity of the internet.

No, I'm not saying that "you don't know who it is you're really talking to." I know that isn't a problem if you have a registering IQ.

No, no. My problem is that the internet is impersonal. In my experience, people can easily have two almost completely different identities: one online, one off. Take me, for example. I'm very different online, because my writing style is a good deal more eloquent than my spoken words are. If you knew me offline and online, you might not know I was the same person. I'm not even an extreme case. Most people that I talk to in person and online are very different in person.

All I'm saying is that the relationship might not work out when it got to certain levels, because if the people decided to further the committment and live closer together or something, the differences between online personas and offline personas could easily kill the relationship. But, if you want to keep it online, it probably isn't a problem.

[CAPTAIN Plixy[Stix]]

Phaedrus17

Hm. The only problem I can find with online dating lies in the anonymity of the internet.

No, I'm not saying that "you don't know who it is you're really talking to." I know that isn't a problem if you have a registering IQ.

No, no. My problem is that the internet is impersonal. In my experience, people can easily have two almost completely different identities: one online, one off. Take me, for example. I'm very different online, because my writing style is a good deal more eloquent than my spoken words are. If you knew me offline and online, you might not know I was the same person. I'm not even an extreme case. Most people that I talk to in person and online are very different in person.

All I'm saying is that the relationship might not work out when it got to certain levels, because if the people decided to further the committment and live closer together or something, the differences between online personas and offline personas could easily kill the relationship. But, if you want to keep it online, it probably isn't a problem.

Why would anyone want to just keep it online?

It's pointless and stupid.

Anyways, people could have different personalities online and offline, but they're the ones taking the risk showing only one side of them.

Those kinds of people might not like the idea of internet dating, and I don't think it would be for them anyway.

[Lefure]

[I am teh Haruka]

Some people already have.

And they stated it in this thread.

Some people are under the impression they have anyway.

[Akhakhu]

[I am teh Haruka]

I don't think many teens would want to love a 40 year old man.

It's looked down upon in society, but if the person doesn't care, I guess it wouldn't matter. But personally, I wouldn't talk to that guy if he was 40.

Internet relationships aren't just between teens. My old best friend's mother met her second husband online. They were both in their mid-40s when they met. The only reason most online relationships we hear about tend to be amongst teens is a) because as teens we tend to frequent websites geared towards teens, and b) the internet is incredibly new. Older generations are only starting to really use it to its fullest potential.

Furthermore, the only reason we haven't heard of couples who had a purely online relationship for 30-40 years is because the internet hasn't been around that long. I can guarantee you that by 2050, we will have plenty of purely online long term relationships.

Lefure

I'm also astounded by the number of people who believe you can fall in love based on anonymous text. I don't care who you think you know, you do not have the capability to percieve if something online is the real deal. What you're 'falling in love' with is probably just some nice philosophy that may or not be actually applied in the person's life. How someone reacts to IRL situations is very, very important in a relationship. Especially one over long distances. Because it's hard to make getting together work financially and emotionally.
Sure, persue meeting people you know online in a safe, healthy way. But don't fool yourself thinking you're already deep in the throws of love. It's incredibly superficial and foolish.

Why? Because you don't?

Everyone has a different definition of love. Just because yours rules out text-based attachment doesn't mean it's true for everyone.

In my opinion, love is a commitment. It's an agreement between two people to trust each other fully, to help each other as much as they can, and to work out any difficulties they might have together. In my definition, my fiance and I were definitely in love long before we ever met offline.

Is it superficial to trust each other and be totally committed to each other? I certainly hope not...

Phaedrus17

Hm. The only problem I can find with online dating lies in the anonymity of the internet.

No, I'm not saying that "you don't know who it is you're really talking to." I know that isn't a problem if you have a registering IQ.

No, no. My problem is that the internet is impersonal. In my experience, people can easily have two almost completely different identities: one online, one off. Take me, for example. I'm very different online, because my writing style is a good deal more eloquent than my spoken words are. If you knew me offline and online, you might not know I was the same person. I'm not even an extreme case. Most people that I talk to in person and online are very different in person.

All I'm saying is that the relationship might not work out when it got to certain levels, because if the people decided to further the committment and live closer together or something, the differences between online personas and offline personas could easily kill the relationship. But, if you want to keep it online, it probably isn't a problem.

I've said this before, but whatever:

How do you act on a first date? What is your persona the very first time you go out with someone? How is that compared to the way you act after being with that person 10 years?

How do you act infront of your grandmother? How do you act infront of your best friend?

My point is that you are always acting differently when you first meet someone, or in different situations. Just because the internet is NO DIFFERENT from any other social situation in that respect doesn't reduce its validity. How could it?

As for the impersonal thing, that's your own opinion. I have many personal relationships online. I have friend that I've been in contact with much longer than anyone I've ever met offline (I move a lot, she was consistant since our relationship never depended on being close to each other). I've never met her offline, but I trust her. We send each other christmas and birthday gifts, we talk a lot, we consult each other before making big decisions. We are extremely close friends and she knows a lot more about me than most of my offline friends do.

How is that impersonal?

[CAPTAIN Plixy[Stix]]

Lefure

[I am teh Haruka]

Some people already have.

And they stated it in this thread.

Some people are under the impression they have anyway.

If some people think they're in love online, then it's just like saying that they think they're in love with someone offline.

They just don't know what true love is, I guess.

[Aerorobyn]

I mean, online dating isn't something I would've done in the past, most likely.
But, I admit, I'm with someone who I met on here.
I had a boyfriend, here, in my state/city...But then I fell in LOVE with the person I met on here! mrgreen

So that's how it is.
>>I found someone I love online...But we do plan on seeing each other in real life.

[Akhakhu]

[I am teh Haruka]

Lefure

[I am teh Haruka]

Some people already have.

And they stated it in this thread.

Some people are under the impression they have anyway.

If some people think they're in love online, then it's just like saying that they think they're in love with someone offline.

They just don't know what true love is, I guess.

How can anyone know what true love is? How can there be true love? You could fill a room with a thousand people and ask them to define love and no one person will come up with the exact same definition.

What love is is entirely dependant on the couple involved. Who are you to judge others just because their opinion is different from yours? Granted, I tend to be weary of anyone claiming to be in love with a first bf/gf or anyone under the age of about 25, but I keep it to myself. It's up to each and every individual couple to decide whether what they feel is love or not. No one, especially not Lefure, can force their own definition on others.

[Celtic Wind Demon]

As long as it's not 12 year olds acting like they're 20, I'd say in general, it's alright.

[CAPTAIN Plixy[Stix]]

Kukushka

[I am teh Haruka]

I don't think many teens would want to love a 40 year old man.

It's looked down upon in society, but if the person doesn't care, I guess it wouldn't matter. But personally, I wouldn't talk to that guy if he was 40.

Internet relationships aren't just between teens. My old best friend's mother met her second husband online. They were both in their mid-40s when they met. The only reason most online relationships we hear about tend to be amongst teens is a) because as teens we tend to frequent websites geared towards teens, and b) the internet is incredibly new. Older generations are only starting to really use it to its fullest potential.

Furthermore, the only reason we haven't heard of couples who had a purely online relationship for 30-40 years is because the internet hasn't been around that long. I can guarantee you that by 2050, we will have plenty of purely online long term relationships.

True.

But I was just using the teens as an example because someone said "What if they're 40? Who cares? If you love him/her, you wouldn't."

And I'm sure many teens would care.

But if two people were in a situation like you described, I guess things would work out nicely.

[CAPTAIN Plixy[Stix]]

Kukushka

How can anyone know what true love is? How can there be true love? You could fill a room with a thousand people and ask them to define love and no one person will come up with the exact same definition.

What love is is entirely dependant on the couple involved. Who are you to judge others just because their opinion is different from yours? Granted, I tend to be weary of anyone claiming to be in love with a first bf/gf or anyone under the age of about 25, but I keep it to myself. It's up to each and every individual couple to decide whether what they feel is love or not. No one, especially not Lefure, can force their own definition on others.

>.>;;

And that's not what I meant.

I mean if a twelve year old told you they were in love, would you believe them?

I know I wouldn't.

[Akhakhu]

[I am teh Haruka]

And that's not what I meant.

I mean if a twelve year old told you they were in love, would you believe them?

I know I wouldn't.

No, I wouldn't. Like I said, I wouldn't believe anyone under the age of 25 (unless I knew both parties intimately and trusted their judgement). But that's because I don't believe that their love fits my definition of love.

I do believe that they are "in love." But that love is their own definition. For many people, getting weak in the knees, butterflies in the stomach, and tongue-tied is what love really is. I don't agree with it, but I respect it.

[Lefure]

[I am teh Haruka]

Lefure

[I am teh Haruka]

Some people already have.

And they stated it in this thread.

Some people are under the impression they have anyway.

If some people think they're in love online, then it's just like saying that they think they're in love with someone offline.

They just don't know what true love is, I guess.

"True love" is so entirely vague that it's not a term worth using. I disagree with the two being the same. You have a person's bodylanguage and reaction to real life situations when you're standing in front of them observing. All you have online is meaningless text. Saying that they undoubtably, absolutely love someone based off text is kidding themselves.

Might be obsessed? Sure. Might have strong feelings for? Absolutely. Imperical evidence to what kind of person they are? Absolutely not.