Epimyth
(?)Community Member
Offline
- Posted: Tue, 11 Jan 2005 03:12:38 +0000
Quote:
Canada (UP) - The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border
into Canada has intensified in the past week preceding the inauguration,
sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The
re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with
Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.
"The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he
left.Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay."
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals
scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh
across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still
got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them
across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking
water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education
camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon
movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors
does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President d**k Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said.
"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined
to reach out," he said.
into Canada has intensified in the past week preceding the inauguration,
sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The
re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with
Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota.
"The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could
spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he
left.Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay."
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals
scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh
across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still
got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them
across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking
water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education
camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon
movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors
does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
President d**k Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
Cheney said.
"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined
to reach out," he said.
I would like to hear responses to this piece of writing.
Now before you all explode about this being anti-democrat propganda I would like to say that;
a. It is simply a piece of humor writing that I encountred. Don't take it too seriously.
b. The author insults both US parties in his work, I simply chose to post this one because it speaks of two countries rather than simply the US of A.
Now then,
What do Canadians think of the writing, if you were told that one of your countrymen wrote it would you be apt to believe me? Has immagration from the state really been an issue?
What do citizens of the US think? Do you personally find it humorous?
And for everyone, what do you think of the topics addressed?
