Nice Guys vs. nice guys

[Kimihiro_Watanuki]

InariKistune

marshmallowcreampie

Jin_of_the_thunder

no one is expecting you to be a mind reader, if you are oblivious to the fact that the person has feelings for you then it can't be helped and you've done nothing wrong. also I don't get what you mean by the "my v****a isn't a corporation" remark.

So, what is she supposed to say to him? A lot of guys can't take "no" for an answer. Sometimes even when they're turned down, they continue to pursue her because they think she'll start to like them eventually. If she makes her feelings clear but he still does nice things in hopes of getting laid, there's not really anything she can do.

If he chooses to behave like an exploitable trash, I think she should treat him like one.

Funny. When a man does this to a woman, it's called mental and emotional abuse. She could just be the decent person in the situation and tell him she doesn't like him and wants to be left alone; nothing he could ever do will magically win her affection.

[MachineMuse]

Kimihiro_Watanuki

InariKistune

marshmallowcreampie

So, what is she supposed to say to him? A lot of guys can't take "no" for an answer. Sometimes even when they're turned down, they continue to pursue her because they think she'll start to like them eventually. If she makes her feelings clear but he still does nice things in hopes of getting laid, there's not really anything she can do.

If he chooses to behave like an exploitable trash, I think she should treat him like one.

Funny. When a man does this to a woman, it's called mental and emotional abuse. She could just be the decent person in the situation and tell him she doesn't like him and wants to be left alone; nothing he could ever do will magically win her affection.

Actually...if she's not taking no for an answer, it makes her a creepy stalker...

Sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in. And even then, it seems cruel to just totally reject them outright and refuse to talk to them. I don't think it's helpful at all. I think on the contrary it's good for them to learn from someone relatively harmless like me that their obsessive behaviour is maladaptive.

[Jin_of_the_thunder]

Willow_T

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

heh, lol. I wonder why there aren't any "nice girls" then.
why girls don't return wallets, why they don't open doors to other people, why they don't pay for dinner? XD

There aren't really nice people in there world. Everyone does something for a reason. Even those so-called "nice guys". Please, no one will pay for your dinner just because they're being nice. O_O

thats not true, i treated my friend to lunch the other day. I don't expect anything in return.

he's your friend. I'm talking about people you just met.

I gave £1 to a homeless guy just today, don't expect anything in return for that.

[MachineMuse]

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

heh, lol. I wonder why there aren't any "nice girls" then.
why girls don't return wallets, why they don't open doors to other people, why they don't pay for dinner? XD

There aren't really nice people in there world. Everyone does something for a reason. Even those so-called "nice guys". Please, no one will pay for your dinner just because they're being nice. O_O

thats not true, i treated my friend to lunch the other day. I don't expect anything in return.

he's your friend. I'm talking about people you just met.

I gave £1 to a homeless guy just today, don't expect anything in return for that.

Don't do that. Give the money to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen instead.

[Jin_of_the_thunder]

MachineMuse

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

heh, lol. I wonder why there aren't any "nice girls" then.
why girls don't return wallets, why they don't open doors to other people, why they don't pay for dinner? XD

There aren't really nice people in there world. Everyone does something for a reason. Even those so-called "nice guys". Please, no one will pay for your dinner just because they're being nice. O_O

thats not true, i treated my friend to lunch the other day. I don't expect anything in return.

he's your friend. I'm talking about people you just met.

I gave £1 to a homeless guy just today, don't expect anything in return for that.

Don't do that. Give the money to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen instead.

why?

[MachineMuse]

Jin_of_the_thunder

MachineMuse

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

heh, lol. I wonder why there aren't any "nice girls" then.
why girls don't return wallets, why they don't open doors to other people, why they don't pay for dinner? XD

There aren't really nice people in there world. Everyone does something for a reason. Even those so-called "nice guys". Please, no one will pay for your dinner just because they're being nice. O_O

thats not true, i treated my friend to lunch the other day. I don't expect anything in return.

he's your friend. I'm talking about people you just met.

I gave £1 to a homeless guy just today, don't expect anything in return for that.

Don't do that. Give the money to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen instead.

why?

Supports relief efforts instead of enabling exploitation.

[Kimihiro_Watanuki]

MachineMuse

Kimihiro_Watanuki

InariKistune

marshmallowcreampie

So, what is she supposed to say to him? A lot of guys can't take "no" for an answer. Sometimes even when they're turned down, they continue to pursue her because they think she'll start to like them eventually. If she makes her feelings clear but he still does nice things in hopes of getting laid, there's not really anything she can do.

If he chooses to behave like an exploitable trash, I think she should treat him like one.

Funny. When a man does this to a woman, it's called mental and emotional abuse. She could just be the decent person in the situation and tell him she doesn't like him and wants to be left alone; nothing he could ever do will magically win her affection.

Actually...if she's not taking no for an answer, it makes her a creepy stalker...

Sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in. And even then, it seems cruel to just totally reject them outright and refuse to talk to them. I don't think it's helpful at all. I think on the contrary it's good for them to learn from someone relatively harmless like me that their obsessive behaviour is maladaptive.

I think you got the people in the story mixed up, but whatever.

I used to be pretty thick skulled. I wouldn't leave a chick alone and call her every day "just to talk" and all that. I knew I was creeping them out but I thought maybe they'd cave under the pressure and realize what a good guy I am and blah, blah, blah. Now, I would have no problem if someone rejected me outright after that kind of behavior.

That's what "Nice Guys" need to learn. That people will reject you, rejection is not the end of the world, and that you can only control YOUR behavior so stop blaming every woman in the world for YOUR faults.

[Jin_of_the_thunder]

MachineMuse

Jin_of_the_thunder

MachineMuse

Jin_of_the_thunder

Willow_T

he's your friend. I'm talking about people you just met.

I gave £1 to a homeless guy just today, don't expect anything in return for that.

Don't do that. Give the money to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen instead.

why?

Supports relief efforts instead of enabling exploitation.

how am I enabling exploitation?

[MachineMuse]

Kimihiro_Watanuki

MachineMuse

Actually...if she's not taking no for an answer, it makes her a creepy stalker...

Sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in. And even then, it seems cruel to just totally reject them outright and refuse to talk to them. I don't think it's helpful at all. I think on the contrary it's good for them to learn from someone relatively harmless like me that their obsessive behaviour is maladaptive.

I think you got the people in the story mixed up, but whatever.

O.o in this story?
"If she makes her feelings clear but he still does nice things in hopes of getting laid, there's not really anything she can do."

Kimihiro_Watanuki

I used to be pretty thick skulled. I wouldn't leave a chick alone and call her every day "just to talk" and all that. I knew I was creeping them out but I thought maybe they'd cave under the pressure and realize what a good guy I am and blah, blah, blah. Now, I would have no problem if someone rejected me outright after that kind of behavior.

That's what "Nice Guys" need to learn. That people will reject you, rejection is not the end of the world, and that you can only control YOUR behavior so stop blaming every woman in the world for YOUR faults.

Really? You did that even though you knew you were creeping them out?

I think that's one possibility but I worry that there are some who aren't so confident that they are valuable and are bugging me because they're desperate for validation and I'm the first girl to show any interest in the past N months or years. In which case crushing them would be a lot more devastating than it was in your case.

[Kimihiro_Watanuki]

MachineMuse

Kimihiro_Watanuki

MachineMuse

Actually...if she's not taking no for an answer, it makes her a creepy stalker...

Sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in. And even then, it seems cruel to just totally reject them outright and refuse to talk to them. I don't think it's helpful at all. I think on the contrary it's good for them to learn from someone relatively harmless like me that their obsessive behaviour is maladaptive.

I think you got the people in the story mixed up, but whatever.

O.o in this story?
"If she makes her feelings clear but he still does nice things in hopes of getting laid, there's not really anything she can do."

Kimihiro_Watanuki

I used to be pretty thick skulled. I wouldn't leave a chick alone and call her every day "just to talk" and all that. I knew I was creeping them out but I thought maybe they'd cave under the pressure and realize what a good guy I am and blah, blah, blah. Now, I would have no problem if someone rejected me outright after that kind of behavior.

That's what "Nice Guys" need to learn. That people will reject you, rejection is not the end of the world, and that you can only control YOUR behavior so stop blaming every woman in the world for YOUR faults.

Really? You did that even though you knew you were creeping them out?

I think that's one possibility but I worry that there are some who aren't so confident that they are valuable and are bugging me because they're desperate for validation and I'm the first girl to show any interest in the past N months or years. In which case crushing them would be a lot more devastating than it was in your case.

I was a bit of a sadist so creeping them out was my form of punishment. Every "Nice Guy" has a way in which they "punish" women for ignoring or rejecting them. Like making fun of her in public or refusing to return a call because she said she couldn't talk to you sometime before. My kind of punishment was placing pressure on a girl. Keeping tallies of all the "nice" things I did for her and then shoving it in her face when she didn't just flop on the bed, legs spread eagle, begging for the D.

Frankly if a girl (or guy, yes I've had to turn down a few and I'm straight at that) can't take a hint, I feel like I need to be more stern with them. It's like a child in a store begging for a toy. You say no to them a few times and they whine louder and louder. You get more stern with them until frankly it's time to grab the belt and whoop some a**.

Screw their need for validation.

[MachineMuse]

Kimihiro_Watanuki

I was a bit of a sadist so creeping them out was my form of punishment. Every "Nice Guy" has a way in which they "punish" women for ignoring or rejecting them. Like making fun of her in public or refusing to return a call because she said she couldn't talk to you sometime before. My kind of punishment was placing pressure on a girl. Keeping tallies of all the "nice" things I did for her and then shoving it in her face when she didn't just flop on the bed, legs spread eagle, begging for the D.

Frankly if a girl (or guy, yes I've had to turn down a few and I'm straight at that) can't take a hint, I feel like I need to be more stern with them. It's like a child in a store begging for a toy. You say no to them a few times and they whine louder and louder. You get more stern with them until frankly it's time to grab the belt and whoop some a**.

Screw their need for validation.

Holy s**t, that's way more neurotic than the ones I've dealt with.

I am so glad I didn't run into you when I was more vulnerable and insecure.

[Kimihiro_Watanuki]

MachineMuse

Kimihiro_Watanuki

I was a bit of a sadist so creeping them out was my form of punishment. Every "Nice Guy" has a way in which they "punish" women for ignoring or rejecting them. Like making fun of her in public or refusing to return a call because she said she couldn't talk to you sometime before. My kind of punishment was placing pressure on a girl. Keeping tallies of all the "nice" things I did for her and then shoving it in her face when she didn't just flop on the bed, legs spread eagle, begging for the D.

Frankly if a girl (or guy, yes I've had to turn down a few and I'm straight at that) can't take a hint, I feel like I need to be more stern with them. It's like a child in a store begging for a toy. You say no to them a few times and they whine louder and louder. You get more stern with them until frankly it's time to grab the belt and whoop some a**.

Screw their need for validation.

Holy s**t, that's way more neurotic than the ones I've dealt with.

I am so glad I didn't run into you when I was more vulnerable and insecure.

Exactly. I'm glad I didn't hurt anyone during the time I was like that. I sound like a mental patient. Moving on.

"Nice Guys" will do the same kinds of things. They will complain about how "nice" they are to women and say things like "All these girls say they want nice guys! I'm a nice guy but they keep dating all these assholes!" The way I used to put it in some of my old threads was:

A girl says she wants A, but constantly goes for B and then complains that B is not A.

OR

Girls always say they want nice guys "like me". I'm about as "like me" as it's gonna get.

Of course, that was when I was pretty ignorant and couldn't read the intentions behind what people say and before I knew what a false dichotomy was.