How to Practice Nudity in Your Family
Despite the good intentions of many parents, prohibiting household nakedness can have negative consequences for children. In our media saturated urbanized world, children like this are primed with an appetite for nudity related subject matter (of which most is unhealthy.) It takes a bit of work for the affected parent, but you can get over this and help your children to avoid some of these pitfalls of modern living. Fortunately as a parent you have the unique opportunity to provide a healthy environment for nakedness right in the refuge of your own home.
Disclaimer: The purpose here is not to promote public nudity as a method for this How To; quite the contrary (see Warnings section below). This guide is intended primarily as a tool for parents who want to teach their children a wholesome understanding of human nakedness. This How To is intended primarily for use by parents in their home.
StepsEncourage family nudity without being abnormal. Young children have not yet acquired a sophisticated understanding of modesty, and really don't care who sees them naked. This is the time when the parent can mold their conscience without making them self-conscious of nakedness. This, in turn, will help children associate nakedness to routine activity instead of exclusively naughty activity, helping illicit forms of nakedness to lose their appeal later in life.
Start allowing/encouraging family nudity during potty training & continue through the school age years and beyond. You'd be surprised how quickly potty training takes root when your toddler/preschooler is allowed to go bare at home, but...be prepared for occasional "accidents" as well, and handle these situations calmly without anger or revulsion.
Going nude for extended periods in the summer can save lots of money on home air conditioning bills! And if energy costs are not a primary concern, keep your home warm & comfortable during cold weather.
A focal point for nudity that enables the whole family to participate together is very helpful. An indoor swimming pool is ideal, but not practical for most families. Saunas are also excellent for this, but are not as common in the U.S. as Europe. Other water related ideas could be an outdoor pool below or above ground. A cheaper yet more practical idea that works year round would be a hot tub. Children see this as a heated kiddie swimming pool they can use water toys in too.
Allow your children - from birth - to see you in ordinary nude situations (e.g.- dressing, bathing or showering, using the toilet) or any activity where nudity is a natural part. By being comfortable with your own body you will naturally convey the message to your children that nudity really is okay and not something to fear. There are naturally times in life when clothes must be worn for protection, for comfort, and to adhere to societal norms. However, by talking with your children about being comfortable with nudity at home, your children will grow up understanding that being nude & being seen nude at home isn't something "uncool, horrible, and utterly embarrassing."
As they begin to recognize differences between themselves and you or your spouse, explain to them the reason for these differences. Suggested explanations are: "Mommy's breasts are for giving milk to babies like when you were small"? or "Mommy and daddy have hair down here because our bodies are warmer, and it helps keep our bodies cooler (by retaining sweat)."
TipsA great side benefit to wholesome understandings of the naked body in the home is that when the time comes to explain human reproduction, there will be less tension from the children. They will not have the distraction of embarrassment when discussing (what for others can be) 'shameful' body parts. This in turn, will keep the communication lines open during adolescence.
There are many great books on pregnancy and adolescence that separate the romantic (i.e. sexual) aspect from the physiological changes of puberty. These books provide a very neutral clinical look at breast and pubic hair growth during the teen years, and include very candid photos of actual births. Influences like these help separate nudity from sex in the child's mind, and provide a framework where family nudity can flourish to the benefit of all.
Realize that not all shame is bad shame. Good shame is ingrained to help us avoid compromising situations. But other shame is the result of social conditioning during childhood, and unnecessarily predisposes us to clothes compulsiveness.
Respect others' standards. One good approach is to point out that other people are not accustomed to nudity, and it's kind to respect their wishes. This may mean keeping the curtains drawn, or willingly closing the bathroom door when guests are present, for example -- a practice that encourages courtesy, but not shame.
Young adolescents naturally develop increased modesty around the time of puberty. Don't force someone to be nude. Wearing pants for a while may help the transition. Being around other teens who role model comfort with their bodies will be reassuring.
For families where the children are older it may be difficult to change attitudes. In some cases big decisions may need to be made in order to break free from habits. Such changes may include ridding the home of magazines (men's magazines, fashion, or sports related material), television, or other media that subtly foster a "nudity is sex"? mindset. Peers are also part of the equation. It may be necessary to move to another region to get a fresh start. Teenagers especially are very keen on whether the parents walk the talk, so if a parent still models these attitudes so will the teens.
The goal is to provide children the opportunity to see nakedness in a way that is almost non-existant in our society: to make it a neutral, non-sensuous part of everyday life in its proper context. This goes a long way toward innoculating them from the enticements so easily found outside the walls of your home and in the marketplace.
Family nudity will always need to have some form of touching-hugging,kissing,pat on the back,
spankings, etc. You will need to explain what is "good" touching, and what is "uncomfortable" touching-fingers in v****a's, jerking of p***s's, etc. Touching is okay when explaining to child the sexual parts of our bodies, what they are for etc,(call the parts by their real name, not the slangs), and allow touching so that the feelings aren't left with the child that "touching is bad". Children are curious at an early age, and so are most pubecents. Exlain that all seeing is good, not shame, touching for feeling and exploring is okay, but not manually expressing sexual organs.(at least out in the open) If one wants to touch their own vulva or p***s, explain that touching yourself is also okay. You can't learn everything there is to know about our bodies, unless you have looked up close, examined etc. Children will want to examine. It's natural! Be open and relaxed so that the child will not be afraid, to either be naked, or see you naked. That boys and girls, men and women, (in the family), are okay to be naked together, no need for seperation, like they do at school for Gym. Above all, RELAX! Show an atmosphere of joy and freedom, and kids will follow suit. Make nudity at home a happy time. And when you hug, do the full body hug, not just the upper torso hug. That gives a message that bodies can't touch each other while naked. Answer their questions, as was stated above. If Joey points at Amy's vulva and wonders why she doesn't have a p***s and or vice versa, and if Amy points at Bobby's or Dad's erection,(it's bound to happen, guys get them even when they're not thinking about sex! Men or boys of age, get erections just like women's nipples het hard, when exposed to cold, and,... an unknown fact: female clitoris's (SPOKEN VERBALLY- KLITERIS) GET ERECTIONS TOO, within their vulva.), just explain away right there in mixed company. Nudity is best when all are exposed, then everybody learns by seeing and observing and touching. And by the way, when the males in the family get erections, if a family member wants to touch the p***s in a stiff condition, (regardless of gender!),allow them to touch and feel how hard it gets, (but ask the one with erection first if they can touch it), because kids of both genders, when seeing one of those for the first time are gonna want to look and touch, it's natural to want to do so. Family nudity can be done! Just let loose of the nudity is sin/shame mindset, (Adam and Eve were naked and God was not ashamed of them! So why would God be ashamed of your nudity at home?) God created us as beautiful creatures one and all. Guys, don't hide your instantaneous erections, act like it's normal for males to get them from time to time without ANY sexual thoughts at all. And girls don't hide your erect nipples, those too are normal. Our bodies sometimes do things without our minds setting them in motion! It's part of life, enjoy it! Share that with your kids, whatever their age and do it soon, don't wait until all the kids are gone to practice family home nudity! Do it now, and have fun with it-it's life! So keep all the doors open and be open!
Another note about touching while naked. Too many people in our culture are too afraid of the touch, for some reason. It's the mindset-touching=shame/sin. We still have that mindset, that "evil sexual notions/contact, touch/feel, is gonna lead to sex. Not in a young child's mind who doesn't know about sex yet! If you keep the touch/feel on the up and up, like it's a happy thing, a LEARNING thing, a GOOD thing, then the children will respond in kind. For example. all touch/feel situations should ALWAYS be done in the living room, in front of other family members. If you do that, then children will always know that touching/feeling of others in the bedroom is a no-no or non practice. Give children the opportunity to LEARN, at an early age if possible. If they have a question(s), about male erections let them ask, point out what the different parts are doing, and how this action is a very necessary part of life later on. But to know that this action by one's p***s is not a sexual advance of some kind, that a preteen male will sometimes have erections that don't go away easily. They may stay erect for an entire hour! Allow others the opportunity to not beliitle or make fun of "bobby's erection", but to tell him,
"Hey way to go Bobby, you can get erections now!" Like it's a stage of life to look forward to, as it is with females breasts. By the same token, when Amy grows "buds" , one could say to her to encourage her, "Hey Amy, looks like you're on your way to growing breasts!" (please don't say boobs, that embarrasses them, believe it or not.)
In the nudity/naturism world everyone is afraid of the almighty male erections. In a public atmosphere where the environment is shared by others, yeah, it might be a problem. But not if you got rid of that touch/feel, sin/shame erection=sex mindset! At home, you are gonna have to make every life change a happy encouraging time. ex: Amy get's pubic hair, Joey gets pubic/underarm hair, Linda grow breasts, Stanley had an all day erection, Sally started her period. Give a great big hoot and a holler for these stages, and make your children feel proud to have acheived these stages!
While in the living room, Linda says, "Love that erection you got going there, Joey! Can I touch and feel it?" "Sure Linda, if you let me give you a hug!" Something like that, be creative, find other ways to look at being naked besides sex. We have got to get away from that image or mindset, that just because a male has an erection he wants to have sex. It's not always the case! A cold breeze blowing suddenly will bring one on. Don't act afraid of erections, look at them and enjoy them. It's work of wonder that God did in that part of the male anatomy! It's awesome what God has created in the human body and how it works. Approach your family with this idea, and suddenly the whole mood changes, and we look at each other's nakedness differently. You'll see. Go for it.
WarningsBe careful about with whom you share your family practices. Not all people will easily come to the conclusions you intended. Nudity and sex are still considered to be related in our society; this stems partly from puritanical attitudes, but also from decades of hedonistic influence by the swingers movement, from influences such as Hedomism II in Jamaica, the SunnyDaze Resort in Colorado, and events like n***s-a-Poppin in Indiana.
Although this should be obvious to any well-meaning parent, care is advised during moments of intimacy and marital relations. Since the genitalia are a major source of pleasure during these times, be careful to instead emphasize the primary functions (birth canal, urination) of genitals to younger children. Anything beyond that may overpower their emotional stage of development and work against the wholesome environment you are trying to maintain. Marital intimacy is best left behind closed doors.
Avoid exposing children to nude photography from fine art, or internet sources as some of this has a subtly skewed pornographic message that untrained eyes will not immediately recognize. The best example is you, your spouse, and older siblings or relatives who bring a very real element to human nakedness.
Exercise proper hygiene. When exercising family nudity, always encourage/require the use of a towel for sitting. As any parent can tell you, young children don't always exercise the very best cleaning methods after using the potty. Don't be embarrassed about teaching good, healthy personal toileting hygiene to your children. They look to you to teach them properly and correctly.
