It's All Their Fault

[ice queen in a dark tower]

Jessi Danger

Nyan_Derek

Why is it that in society, we have to teach women how to defend themselves from rape? Why can't women wear certain things in public without being in constant fear of rape?
I know this may seem drastic, but it's true.
I think everyone, man/woman/child, etc... Should have basic knowledge of self-defense and proper etiquette. However, I don't understand why so much pressure is put on women. Why isn't society trying harder to teach men how to control themselves over teaching women how to put up with it? Why is this even an issue anymore? I know 100% that this has been posted on here before. I want to know what people think about this.

I think it is an issue of practicality. I mean I it is cheaper to take my own defense into my own hands. The police can't be everywhere, and we don't want them everywhere. Like, I lock my car door to prevent my car from being stolen. Its just not practical to hope there isn't a criminal lurking about.

your sig emotion_kirakira

[Keltoi Samurai]

Nonesuch Solo

And there's a difference between telling people "IT'S YOUR FAULT" and "Hey, here are some ways you can decrease your risk."

when it comes to rape? there's not even a difference between teaching women to defend themselves and telling women who have been raped "IT'S YOUR FAULT"

[from blue to]

Keltoi Samurai

Nonesuch Solo

And there's a difference between telling people "IT'S YOUR FAULT" and "Hey, here are some ways you can decrease your risk."

when it comes to rape? there's not even a difference between teaching women to defend themselves and telling women who have been raped "IT'S YOUR FAULT"

This throws me off a little. See, it's presented like it's meant to be taken seriously, but it's so absurd it has to be irony. Problem is I can't read tone in text, so I'm left to try and figure out if the person saying that trying to help someone is telling them they have no one to blame but themselves when something horrendous happens is horribly off balance or just joking.

[Keltoi Samurai]

Bob and Others

Keltoi Samurai

Nonesuch Solo

And there's a difference between telling people "IT'S YOUR FAULT" and "Hey, here are some ways you can decrease your risk."

when it comes to rape? there's not even a difference between teaching women to defend themselves and telling women who have been raped "IT'S YOUR FAULT"

This throws me off a little. See, it's presented like it's meant to be taken seriously, but it's so absurd it has to be irony. Problem is I can't read tone in text, so I'm left to try and figure out if the person saying that trying to help someone is telling them they have no one to blame but themselves when something horrendous happens is horribly off balance or just joking.

read the words of a woman, specifically a feminist "womyn," and hear in her own words about being rejected by feminists because teaching self-defense is blaming the victim

[from blue to]

Keltoi Samurai

Bob and Others

Keltoi Samurai

Nonesuch Solo

And there's a difference between telling people "IT'S YOUR FAULT" and "Hey, here are some ways you can decrease your risk."

when it comes to rape? there's not even a difference between teaching women to defend themselves and telling women who have been raped "IT'S YOUR FAULT"

This throws me off a little. See, it's presented like it's meant to be taken seriously, but it's so absurd it has to be irony. Problem is I can't read tone in text, so I'm left to try and figure out if the person saying that trying to help someone is telling them they have no one to blame but themselves when something horrendous happens is horribly off balance or just joking.

read the words of a woman, specifically a feminist "womyn," and hear in her own words about

I guess you want me to see the part where in the process of learning to defend themselves women sometimes question if they are to blame for what happened and agree with you. Thing is, they may question that anyway. Is it more likely to happen when engaged in an activity that reminds them of the event? Of course. Doesn't mean that activity is victim blaming. Might as well call talking about rape victim blaming.

Anything else about that article you think deserves special attention? I don't appreciate being given a link and expected to dig through it to find your point.

[Keltoi Samurai]

Bob and Others

Keltoi Samurai

Bob and Others

Keltoi Samurai

Nonesuch Solo

And there's a difference between telling people "IT'S YOUR FAULT" and "Hey, here are some ways you can decrease your risk."

when it comes to rape? there's not even a difference between teaching women to defend themselves and telling women who have been raped "IT'S YOUR FAULT"

This throws me off a little. See, it's presented like it's meant to be taken seriously, but it's so absurd it has to be irony. Problem is I can't read tone in text, so I'm left to try and figure out if the person saying that trying to help someone is telling them they have no one to blame but themselves when something horrendous happens is horribly off balance or just joking.

read the words of a woman, specifically a feminist "womyn," and hear in her own words about

I guess you want me to see the part where in the process of learning to defend themselves women sometimes question if they are to blame for what happened and agree with you. Thing is, they may question that anyway. Is it more likely to happen when engaged in an activity that reminds them of the event? Of course. Doesn't mean that activity is victim blaming. Might as well call talking about rape victim blaming.

Anything else about that article you think deserves special attention? I don't appreciate being given a link and expected to dig through it to find your point.

I wasn't saying that it WAS victim blaming, and I quite agree with you that it isn't victim blaming, I was just pointing out there's a pretty large belief that self defense advocacy is blaming the victim, and that the existence of such a belief means that Nonesuch Solo's original comment will be viewed as wrong.

[angelica135]

Olya

So it's men vs women? OP clearly never heard of Carla Homolka or Elizabeth Báthory.


I'll answer a question with a question. Why must we teach our children to not take rides in cars with strangers? Why must we teach them to never open a door to someone they don't know? Why not just work with the adult population. I mean, hey, if you talk to ***** enough, they'll understand that raping kids is wrong and won't do it, right?

gaia_angelleft gaia_star gaia_angelright

they know raping kids is wrong, but they usually kidnap kids, not rape them

[The Sky Does Not Bow]

I... hmm

I am startled to discover this measured and reasonable OP in the ED.

[The Sky Does Not Bow]

Olya

So it's men vs women? OP clearly never heard of Carla Homolka or Elizabeth Báthory.


I'll answer a question with a question. Why must we teach our children to not take rides in cars with strangers? Why must we teach them to never open a door to someone they don't know? Why not just work with the adult population. I mean, hey, if you talk to ***** enough, they'll understand that raping kids is wrong and won't do it, right?

gaia_angelleft gaia_star gaia_angelright

Let's put things into perspective: that is two examples versus, like, a billion. The ratios are, in a fashion, skewed the ******** out of comparison. Sure, there are some women who are probably sexual predators; however, they have the same frequency as, say, a white supremacist black guy.

[The Herald of Death]

Nyan_Derek

Why isn't society trying harder to teach men how to control themselves over teaching women how to put up with it?

I agree, the focus should be more on men than women. But I think the issue is probably a bit more than just teaching more men how to control themselves. I doubt rape is just the result of a lack of control, or even likely to be such.

[Riviera de la Mancha]

Camillo

Riviera de la Mancha

I read alot, actually.

Go on.

Also for sake of actual content, answering a question with a question is an effective means of communication, this isn't a formal debate forum, and you're being a pedant in order to obfuscate meaningful content because you don't like its wrapper. Also, you can't spell "a lot". Kindly ******** off.

Its not even all that effective as a mode of communication because its so vague and doesnt address anything. Its highly problematic to use, even in conversation.

The problem is that the wrapper obfuscates the content, which is why I dont like answering questions with questions.

[theothermanoverthere]

Ontological Empiricism

Camillo

Ontological Empiricism

Argus Plexus

I don't know any women who are in constant fear of being raped. s**t happens, get used to it. No reason to have a knee-jerk reaction to anything, that never solves the problem.

I'm not quite sure how to respond to this. neutral

"I was raped."
"s**t happens, get used to it."

neutral

That's about right.

Well I mean, of course s**t happens. That's the way the world works. House burns down? s**t happens. Drunk driver killed your relative(s)/friend(s)? s**t happens.

According to Argus Plexus, having a knee-jerking reaction doesn't solve the problem, but neither does shrugging it off like it was nothing. "Someone just forced their p***s inside my v****a/a**? OH WELL. s**t HAPPENS." [insert "Better Drink My Own Piss" joke here]

We have this rape culture where men are all thought to be rapists, and women had it coming based on their dress/behavior.

That is something that needs to change, but it's doubtful it would.

Idk were or how it were you live but here that's not true. The rape culture s**t wouldnt fly here. s**t you rape someone here you better hid for ever if you don't want a short life. This idea that guys are all rapest is just dumb and harmfull for everone.

Now I have no idea what you went though. I have some friends that have been unfortunate enough to go though that. But they in no way believe this idea of a rape culture.

[Bundle of Funyuns]

I don't understand something. You're the one who was saying in another thread "HURR AUTISTIC CHILDREN SHOULD BE ABORTED DURING PREGNANCY", yet you're suddenly sympathetic about something? Don't get me wrong, rape is bad, mm'kay. But it seems highly hypocritical, you seem like the one who would join in with the "HURP DEE DURP THEY GETTIN RAPED CUZ THEY'S CLOTHES IS NAUGHTY".

[MollyGraves]

Psychotic Bovine

I don't understand something. You're the one who was saying in another thread "HURR AUTISTIC CHILDREN SHOULD BE ABORTED DURING PREGNANCY", yet you're suddenly sympathetic about something? Don't get me wrong, rape is bad, mm'kay. But it seems highly hypocritical, you seem like the one who would join in with the "HURP DEE DURP THEY GETTIN RAPED CUZ THEY'S CLOTHES IS NAUGHTY".

Dude, leave me the Hell alone. >.> Stop putting words in my mouth. Show me the quote where I said autistic children should be aborted. It isn't any of your business what I care about. Stop stalking me, you crazy freak. Get a life.

[Bundle of Funyuns]

Nyan_Derek

Psychotic Bovine

I don't understand something. You're the one who was saying in another thread "HURR AUTISTIC CHILDREN SHOULD BE ABORTED DURING PREGNANCY", yet you're suddenly sympathetic about something? Don't get me wrong, rape is bad, mm'kay. But it seems highly hypocritical, you seem like the one who would join in with the "HURP DEE DURP THEY GETTIN RAPED CUZ THEY'S CLOTHES IS NAUGHTY".

Dude, leave me the Hell alone. >.> Stop putting words in my mouth. Show me the quote where I said autistic children should be aborted. It isn't any of your business what I care about. Stop stalking me, you crazy freak. Get a life.

So defensive. I realized that I mistook your avatar for another person's avatar, and I misread your username under his posts. But if you know you've done nothing wrong, why are you getting so defensive? Should really take a chill pill :B