Infantilism Discussion - In need of more cookies. o.o

Have you ever considered Infantilism?

Yes.	11.0%	[ 421 ]
No.	69.4%	[ 2662 ]
I am an infantilist...And I hearby claim one of your cookies!	19.6%	[ 750 ]
Total Votes:			[ 3833 ]

[Mobster Lobster]

Eshmasesh

Mobster Lobster

The apostrophe is used to show ownership.

Quote:

More than one owning something:
My businesses' offices.

Only one owning something:
My business's office.

More than one.
I have three businesses.

Only one:
I have a business.

Bad Mobster Lobster. Now you need a spanking for adding an "s" after the form to show possession, which is also bad grammar. Shame on you!

If it's a singular noun which ends with an "s" another "s" is fine. If it's plural, you just end it with an apostrophe. See:

Quote:

To form the possessive of a plural noun ending in "s" simply add an apostrophe.
dogs' bones
boys' bicycles
To form the possessive of a singular noun that ends in an "s" sound, be guided by the way the word is pronounced. If a new syllable is formed in the pronunciation of the possessive, add an apostrophe plus "s."
boss's office
witness's memory

Quote:

CORRECT EDIT: Last I check, the plural form of business to show ownership is also business'.

I have no idea where you got that from. The possessive plural form of business is businesses'.

[Princess Turtle]

http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/

Lots of apostrophe info.

[EliteDanneh]

Can we please get back to discussion?

Anyone want to ask any questions?

[AddyMiaka]

i still watch little kid shows, it takes me away from all the crap of being an adult and lets me feel safe again

[EliteDanneh]

AddyMiaka

i still watch little kid shows, it takes me away from all the crap of being an adult and lets me feel safe again

That's cool...Nothing wrong at all with that. ^_^

People like me just spend more time in that sort of state than we probably should...But don't worry about it.

[Princess Turtle]

How do you know if your an infantalist? What are some signs?

[EliteDanneh]

Princess Turtle

How do you know if your an infantalist? What are some signs?

Signs to spot an infantilist?

Ooo...That really is a GOOD question.

I imagine no infantilist is directly the same in their needs, so hence, they will be different in actions. The question isn't really how to spot an infantilist, but how spot a need which the person wants met...Not everyone whom shows infantilistic is an infantilist....For instance, I know a girl who sucks her thumb everywhere she goes, she's doing it because it makes her feel secure, so I give her the feeling of security.

Signs though? I guess if I had to generalise, which although unfair, and biassed in my own opinions, these would be what I'd look for. (But don't think anyone showing just one of these things or even ALL of these things are infantilist...They are just what >>I<< feel are common traits.)

So.

Signs list:

Sucking something, usually a thumb or pen end/lid: Sucking is often associated with two things, either a need for security or an oral fixation...Some people who do this MAY be infantilists, but don't get me wrong, some people find that sucking something like a pen lid helps them concentrate...It's when the sucking is more constant that you can perhaps assume an infantilist or a yearning for security...A good way for this would be to befriend that person and hug them ALOT. They want to know they aren't alone, knowing someone cares may really help them, after you get close enough, maybe even try discuss the issue, some people talk, some people don't. Either way though, I'd say it's a 3 in 10 chance those who suck things will either have problems, an oral fixation or perhaps may even be an infantilist/Infantilist in denial.

Purposely used childish language: Unless you have VERY giddy friends, and the use of it is only used in the context of comedy, then your friend possibly has thought about being an infant again or desires such. But don't get me wrong...They could just be a fangirl/fanboy of some cute character in an anime/manga that uses such language...So, going by speech alone isn't easy...But if they start calling you by any authority name you recognise, mommy, daddy, nurse, nanny, anything like that...You've got a 90% chance they desire to be treated like a child, discuss such and DO NOT insult them for it...If you feel it's incorrect, ask them not to do it, but tell them that you understand why they do it.
If your friend has natural speech problems, ignore this altogether...I helped a student with speech problems sort himself out completely...But I can't say I ever KNEW him...Those with problems are the hardest to read into.

Pacifiers/Diapers or interest in either: You've almost definately got a infantilist on your hands...Either stay out of their way or expect to accept the 'different' behaviour they may offer...Befriending them and giving them lots of cuddles, making them laugh and just giving encouragement is all normal friendly behaviour that will bring you both closer, and you may even learn a bit or two about your friend on the way.
There are cases such as inconstinence where those with weak bladders or medical conditions have to wear diapers or pull-ups, this is a 50-50 chance...It's really hard to tell and somewhat unfair to judge on this sort of issue...If you think they may be an infantilist, look for the other signs on top of their diaper/nappy/pull-up wearing.

Choice of bright, or in some cases, provocative clothing: This is by no means a definate sign, people of all sorts wear different clothes, wearing baby blue or garish pink is often a sign of a yearning for a boost in their feeling of ego and an attempt at retrieving lost innocence, but this is in no means direct to everyone...Clothing, unless obviously childish, only occasionally has any link in to infantilism.

Choice of TV programs: This ones a hard one, you'll almost never get someone admitting they watch kiddy programs, but childish programs are a 4/5 chance, there are some people whom just seem to enjoy the programs, but it's more likely an infantilist who can giggle at these programs and TRULLY enjoy them, a good idea here would be to talk to them about what they like in them, instead of laughing, remember, to them...Watching a childrens program to them is like you watching your daily batch of soaps, dramas or all that other stuff that RARELY interests lil' me, it's all in good fun...And they enjoy it...No harm to anyone else right?

Clingyness - This, surprisingly, can be VERY hard to spot, you may think it's easy to spot, but honestly, it's not. Infantilists will try and stay near the closest mother/father figure they can, hugging them, playing with their hair and all manners of things that just a giddy friend or lover would do...And it doesn't end at just one person, cuddling and hugging people can be part of good fun and a way of feeling good about yourself...You have a 50/50 chance you have an infantilist on your hands...Otherwise, you've just got affectionate friends. (Hold them close and dear...They are rare!)

Admitting it to you: This is rare, but if someone admits it to you, just take them as they are, they are telling you because they feel you should no, probably because they keep very little from you. But at least you can guarantee you have an infantilist: Be sure to keep treating them as a friend, but if you feel like you should cater for some of the needs...Just give them hugs, tell them how much of a good friend they are and if you don't mind looking a little odd, fuss over them, they'll adore it and I can guarantee your friendship will build to an inseperable bond.

There are other signs...But documenting them isn't easy, if I think up anything else that is direct, i'll be sure to add it in.

[EliteDanneh]

Personal Signs:

Signs that you, yourself, may be an infantilist. (Once again, these are by personal opinion and are by no means direct fact.):

Desire for infant like things: You want diapers? You want pacifiers? You want to see that next episode of that really awesome kids show right NOW?
You're most likely an infantilist...Your best bet here is to try out the things you yearn for, and if it feels as good as your yearning for such...Then hey, congratulations, you've made your first step into changing your life so that it no longer feels like hell.

Jealousy: Now this one had me almost kill myself...I used to look at children much younger than myself who were mothered over and cared for, I swear I got so jealous that I sometimes even cried over it now..
How could I look at children and get jealous over such?! I considered that I may of been some sort of sick peadophile...And attempted suicide several times (3 to be precise.), when my parents asked such, I told them it was stress at school (which had also actually been a factor in my increasing depression.).
Take it from me! I now know it's completely normal! Maybe it's not right to BE jealous...but it's not incorrect, I knew I was normal when I researched deep into it...I wasn't a peadophile, it wasn't the child I longed for, but instead, the love of the care giver, I significantly cheered up, and began realising that I yearned for pacifiers and the like...I followed this desire, and am now the proud owner of my pacifier which you can see in my signiture...Self acceptance was now the major step for me.

TV Programs: Yea baby! You aren't weird! Just because it may be trying to teach you something you already know, who can ignore all those bright enticing colours and addictive voices that you quickly learn to adore?
This is probably the part that you find easiest to hide...You can hang out in your room or front room and watch them, mainly because you can blame it on 'Nothing else good on' and that you are waiting for the program after such. - Not the best way about it, but certainly how I went about it for a LONG time before recently coming out to 90% of my friends, all of which but a few whom have been VERY supportive of me.

Clothing: I recently started dressing up like my first school years plus a tie, just because I wanted a tie. XD! This may not be the same for everyone...You might be mentally directing yourself at 'normal' colours, black and white you can't go wrong with. I started going for really bright garish anime shirts, brighter and more colourful the better, if you don't mind sticking out a little, this is easy and eventually, socially acceptable.

Parents: This is probably the hardest part...You want more love? Get clingy. Start grabbing them and hugging them for NO APPARENT reason...And be sincere in your hugs, not playful, hug them like you mean it...I expect you'll probably cry the first time your parents hug you back tight, calling you their adorable little baby...They may not realise it, but they;ll of given you an almighty boost to your ego and self.
If you have trully understanding parents...Start psyching yourself up to tell them...I'm still doing such...I don't expect it to be easy, and I doubt they'll understand...But...Pray for me that it'll go well...To any God you follow.

[EliteDanneh]

Good mornin' Gaia-tnam!

Woo, so i'm back up and ready to discuss anything you wish to ask or comment about!

So hey! Lets talk!

[EliteDanneh]

Now, I want to tell my parents I'm an infantilist...Anyone have any idea how to go about it?

What would you do?

And if you have done it, how did you go about it?

And any questions?

[EliteDanneh]

Mommy and Daddy...

This is hard to tell you...So so so hard...I can only pray you read this when I am in college.
I don't expect it easy to take in...And I don't expect you to immediately accept it.
But please...Don't you dare even try be angry with me for this...It's really not my fault or yours.

You might of noticed...My insomnia has almost completely disappeared recently, I've cheered up significantly and I am generally more happy. Neither is without reason.

Before you get any ideas, i'm not gay, I am completely straight, although it IS probably more complex than that...
It's taken me a long time to accept this part of myself, I considered it 'wrong' for the several years i've felt this way...It was only just before christmas when I began to start researching into it that I realised I was not alone.

Enough of my babbling...I've probably already got you tense enough.
How am I going to explain this?

I want you to treat me like you used too...Before Anne died, when you used to fuss over me, hug me and cuddle me all the time, I know you hurt deep inside...And I know it must be hard for you.

I matured too fast...I lost out on all my childhood years...I want them back, and I want you to give them back to me.

It's not a bad thing...It's not a mental problem or a sexual fetish (Though it can be defined as such, though that is not the case in my position.) It's called 'Infantilism', the desire to be treated like a young child all over again.

I have a dummy, I keep it under my pillow, my Insomnia is going because of it, it makes me feel good and safe and takes me less than 15 minutes to get to sleep with it.
Yes, I know it isn't good for my teeth, I don't need a lecture on that...But if it helps me sleep, makes me feel good and gives me a great deal of support...It's more than worth it to me.

For me to do this, I'm trusting in you both...It's rare for any person to admit this...But it's killing me, and I keep nothing from you as I believe you deserve better.
I DO NOT need help for this, no psychologists, no psychiatrists...I AM NOT SICK.
I want you to accept me for who I am, I like this part of me, I know it's not wrong to feel this way anymore...I now know my jealousy over small children being given love was not what I thought of as myself being perverted and peadophilic, but a yearning for the care I observed.
I've spoke with several people...All like me, a special chat room, Adults and teens alike.

I am normal. Don't think different.

This is NOT your fault, I am proud to be your little boy, you have brought me up so well, given me a roof above my head, put food on the table before me and almost never asked anything in return.

Remember what I told professor Harrington? That I wanted more attention?
I wasn't lying...You just never asked me what sort of attention, and it's took me all these years to finally get it out.
I should of been braver, I'm crying as I write this, it's taken me over 6 years to get this out and I should of told you so much sooner.

My emotional age is closest to that of a '4' year old, my mental age closest to that of some sort of God. I know you are probably crying too by now...But I >>>WANT<<< to be your little boy again, to be able to curl up in your lap and go to sleep, to rest in your arms and be fussed over.

God, when you washed my hair, then straightened it, I was trying so hard not to cry because I enjoyed the fuss so much, you hugged me in the kitchen a while back to, and for once, you made it feel sincere...I DID CRY...I hid it well...I always did, I felt like I had no other choice.
Please learn to love again...I need it of you...I love you so much...And would die a 1000 painful deaths just to be able to see those smiles I so fondly remember.

Dad...You don't need to keep back how you feel, I don't give a ******** if you see yourself as manly or what not, I want you to cuddle me too! I want you all to fuss over me, I'll give you back a majority of the years of love and fun we all missed together...I know I alone destroyed that with my ADHD shitty behaviour. Can we start again? Treat me like you used too? Like when I was 4? Please...I beg it of you...

Don't get me wrong, I like being an adult...I'm prideful of my family and proud of who I am, I'm no longer scared of this part of me which is deep inside...

This has taken me alot to do...I couldn't say it in words...I tried yesterday...But you were feeling ill and I really didn't think you could take it.
Everytime I walked into the room, I tried to say something, but just couldn't...

I've been dropping hints over and over again...But I need to state it...
I need you both to love me more visibly, I expect nothing in manner of money...I ask nothing of you in manner of physical belongings...Just give me support...

Don't blame yourself, don't blame me, don't blame society. This is just how it is. It's apparently completely normal, and even if it isn't, I don't give a damn, you just need to know.

http://understanding.infantilism.org/what.php - It may not be exact to my needs, but it may give you an idea of how I feel, nappies/diapers do not interest me, so just ignore that part and push it asside.

http://understanding.infantilism.org/abdlparents_grey.php - Read this, it's important...It puts across my point a little better that I AM NORMAL...Please read it. ESPECIALLY, the section called on 'For Parents Of Infantilists.'.

If you want to know more...Please just ask...I've opened up as much as I can to tell you as much as I can and explained as much as I can.

I trully hope you understand and aren't angry...You are both great parents to me...I value you over everything...

Please don't be angry.

I love you both.

Danny.
xxx

[EliteDanneh]

A tip: Don't tell your parents unless you are sure they love you and will actually understand.

[Wishbone Redemption]

Your life, your choice.

I don't consider it any more 'incorrect' than dying your hair.

[EliteDanneh]

Wishbone Redemption

Your life, your choice.

I don't consider it any more 'incorrect' than dying your hair.

Haha...Seems my choice isn't correct and even against what I wrote, moms blaming herself and dad thinks i'm suicidal. 0_o

I'm all alone now. ^_^ I can smile, because I finally know how much I really mean to my parents.

******** all.

Now I can focus on being myself, and yes, that will still include being infantilist.

[Wishbone Redemption]

EliteDanneh

Wishbone Redemption

Your life, your choice.

I don't consider it any more 'incorrect' than dying your hair.

Haha...Seems my choice isn't correct and even against what I wrote, moms blaming herself and dad thinks i'm suicidal. 0_o

I'm all alone now. ^_^ I can smile, because I finally know how much I really mean to my parents.

******** all.

Now I can focus on being myself, and yes, that will still include being infantilist.

Just take it one day at a time.

Not that I know anything about your personal life, but odds are your parents love you anyway. Their perceptions of the world are pretty drilled in, though, and it might take them a while to realize that their child is worth more to them than their comfort zone.