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Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
People trying to be helpful is really not something worth getting upset about.
It's patronizing and insulting.

Give help when asked.


I love you, my dear madam.

(LOL)
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
Personally, I understand exactly what you're talking about...It irritates me when people fuss over those with disabilities or illnesses that they were born with, Constantly drawing attention to what people percieve to be something that should be fixed, Without even consulting the person who's afflicted.

Wanting people to conform to their definition of 'Normal' is pathetic, And they should back the hell off if the person in question isn't bothered by it.


If you reject other people's ideals why do you expect that anyone should care about yours?


I would give you a proper reply, If i wasn't so sure you're only on this thread to be argumentative because you have nothing better to do...So i'll just say this. I accept other people's ideals, But does this mean i should follow them? Take Racism, Sexism, Or Homophobia as Ideals...I take it you accept their views as being their own personal opinions, But do you agree with them? Are you like a sheep that follows any belief that you are presented with? I'm saying that although i accept that people do it, And have good intentions in mind, I don't agree with that specific reaction to seeing those with disabilities and i'm in no way telling you to have the same views as i do on the subject.


If I'm only on this threat to be argumentative it would be specifically because I have something better to do, invariably.Negative attitudes are not ideals. That much should be obvious. I am willing and inclined to accept a person for the unique individual that they are and even to extend unconditional positive regard, pouring scorn upon a person's beliefs is not useful and to condemn them for trying to help should be severely punishable.
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
People trying to be helpful is really not something worth getting upset about.
It's patronizing and insulting.

Give help when asked.


I've never experienced it as such.
Congratulations are in order?


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
Personally, I understand exactly what you're talking about...It irritates me when people fuss over those with disabilities or illnesses that they were born with, Constantly drawing attention to what people percieve to be something that should be fixed, Without even consulting the person who's afflicted.

Wanting people to conform to their definition of 'Normal' is pathetic, And they should back the hell off if the person in question isn't bothered by it.


If you reject other people's ideals why do you expect that anyone should care about yours?


I would give you a proper reply, If i wasn't so sure you're only on this thread to be argumentative because you have nothing better to do...So i'll just say this. I accept other people's ideals, But does this mean i should follow them? Take Racism, Sexism, Or Homophobia as Ideals...I take it you accept their views as being their own personal opinions, But do you agree with them? Are you like a sheep that follows any belief that you are presented with? I'm saying that although i accept that people do it, And have good intentions in mind, I don't agree with that specific reaction to seeing those with disabilities and i'm in no way telling you to have the same views as i do on the subject.


If only I could communicate with words as well as you. But this is exactly what I mean, And thanks to the one who said "Help when asked."
Anywhom it's a dilemma.
Major Lima Charlie's avatar

Devoted Explorer

CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
People trying to be helpful is really not something worth getting upset about.
It's patronizing and insulting.

Give help when asked.


I've never experienced it as such.
Congratulations are in order?


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.
Shanovale's avatar

Desirable Duelist

8,750 Points
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  • Gender Swap 100
  • Autobiographer 200
CH1YO
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
Personally, I understand exactly what you're talking about...It irritates me when people fuss over those with disabilities or illnesses that they were born with, Constantly drawing attention to what people percieve to be something that should be fixed, Without even consulting the person who's afflicted.

Wanting people to conform to their definition of 'Normal' is pathetic, And they should back the hell off if the person in question isn't bothered by it.


If you reject other people's ideals why do you expect that anyone should care about yours?


I would give you a proper reply, If i wasn't so sure you're only on this thread to be argumentative because you have nothing better to do...So i'll just say this. I accept other people's ideals, But does this mean i should follow them? Take Racism, Sexism, Or Homophobia as Ideals...I take it you accept their views as being their own personal opinions, But do you agree with them? Are you like a sheep that follows any belief that you are presented with? I'm saying that although i accept that people do it, And have good intentions in mind, I don't agree with that specific reaction to seeing those with disabilities and i'm in no way telling you to have the same views as i do on the subject.


If I'm only on this threat to be argumentative it would be specifically because I have something better to do, invariably.Negative attitudes are not ideals. That much should be obvious. I am willing and inclined to accept a person for the unique individual that they are and even to extend unconditional positive regard, pouring scorn upon a person's beliefs is not useful and to condemn them for trying to help should be severely punishable.


Does this mean that you are fine with things such as woman beating, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, And applaud such people for being Racist, Sexist and Homophobic? What of rapists and *****, Do they also warrant your praise? Everyone is a unique individual, Wether you accept it or not isn't worth a damn, As it is a matter of fact. As for trying to help, What if the person in question does not NEED help...What if they have accepted whatever they may be afflicted with as a part of themselves, And all attempts to 'Help' the person that needs no help as there is nothing wrong with them, Result in upsetting the individual? Making them self concious, And destroying their confidence?

This is what i am referring to when i say i do not agree with it...Only in those situations. Trying to help those who need it, And openly accept it is one thing, But trying to help those who don't believe there is anything that they need help with is a different matter entirely...It's akin to trying to 'Help' a gay man, Because he's not straight...It is an act of discrimination, As accidental as it may be, And i can't abide it.
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
People trying to be helpful is really not something worth getting upset about.
It's patronizing and insulting.

Give help when asked.


I've never experienced it as such.
Congratulations are in order?


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.


I was expecting a filthy pun about half way through reading that.

More to the point nuance is a thing but I would have no objection to the order being reversed if that pleases you better.
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
Personally, I understand exactly what you're talking about...It irritates me when people fuss over those with disabilities or illnesses that they were born with, Constantly drawing attention to what people percieve to be something that should be fixed, Without even consulting the person who's afflicted.

Wanting people to conform to their definition of 'Normal' is pathetic, And they should back the hell off if the person in question isn't bothered by it.


If you reject other people's ideals why do you expect that anyone should care about yours?


I would give you a proper reply, If i wasn't so sure you're only on this thread to be argumentative because you have nothing better to do...So i'll just say this. I accept other people's ideals, But does this mean i should follow them? Take Racism, Sexism, Or Homophobia as Ideals...I take it you accept their views as being their own personal opinions, But do you agree with them? Are you like a sheep that follows any belief that you are presented with? I'm saying that although i accept that people do it, And have good intentions in mind, I don't agree with that specific reaction to seeing those with disabilities and i'm in no way telling you to have the same views as i do on the subject.


If I'm only on this threat to be argumentative it would be specifically because I have something better to do, invariably.Negative attitudes are not ideals. That much should be obvious. I am willing and inclined to accept a person for the unique individual that they are and even to extend unconditional positive regard, pouring scorn upon a person's beliefs is not useful and to condemn them for trying to help should be severely punishable.


Does this mean that you are fine with things such as woman beating, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, And applaud such people for being as such? What of rapists and *****, Do they also warrant your praise? Everyone is a unique individual, Wether you accept it or not isn't worth a damn, As it is a matter of fact. As for trying to help, What if the person in question does not NEED help...What if they have accepted whatever they may be afflicted with as a part of themselves, And all attempts to 'Help' the person that needs no help as there is nothing wrong with them, Result in upsetting the individual? Making them self concious, And destroying their confidence?

This is what i am referring to when i say i do not agree with it...Only in those situations. Trying to help those who need it, And openly accept it is one thing, But trying to help those who don't believe there is anything that they need help with is a different matter entirely...It's akin to trying to 'Help' a gay man, Because he's not straight...It is an act of discrimination, As accidental as it may be, And i can't abide it.


In the particular example of ****** I have helped people immensely through provision of unconditional positive regard. It is a good thing, always.

People often do not recognise that they need help until it is rather too late, why you would encourage such hardship is beyond me.
Major Lima Charlie's avatar

Devoted Explorer

CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO


I've never experienced it as such.
Congratulations are in order?


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.


I was expecting a filthy pun about half way through reading that.

More to the point nuance is a thing but I would have no objection to the order being reversed if that pleases you better.
Fair enough, but that doesn't change that it is rude to do so. I have an annoying habit of trying to help people with computer trouble when they don't particularly want it. I've gotten to the point where it's mostly in my head now, thankfully. Point being that my simply being helpful, when not asked, is tantamount to informing them that I don't believe that they can do it, or do it well, or do it fast enough, or what-have-you. It's rude.
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO


I've never experienced it as such.
Congratulations are in order?


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.


I was expecting a filthy pun about half way through reading that.

More to the point nuance is a thing but I would have no objection to the order being reversed if that pleases you better.
Fair enough, but that doesn't change that it is rude to do so. I have an annoying habit of trying to help people with computer trouble when they don't particularly want it. I've gotten to the point where it's mostly in my head now, thankfully. Point being that my simply being helpful, when not asked, is tantamount to informing them that I don't believe that they can do it, or do it well, or do it fast enough, or what-have-you. It's rude.


Presumably you are not doing it as well as you might, have you considered changing your approach as opposed to abandoning people?
Major Lima Charlie's avatar

Devoted Explorer

CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.


I was expecting a filthy pun about half way through reading that.

More to the point nuance is a thing but I would have no objection to the order being reversed if that pleases you better.
Fair enough, but that doesn't change that it is rude to do so. I have an annoying habit of trying to help people with computer trouble when they don't particularly want it. I've gotten to the point where it's mostly in my head now, thankfully. Point being that my simply being helpful, when not asked, is tantamount to informing them that I don't believe that they can do it, or do it well, or do it fast enough, or what-have-you. It's rude.


Presumably you are not doing it as well as you might, have you considered changing your approach as opposed to abandoning people?
Is it abandonment if you respect their wishes?

I'd say no.
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO
Major Lima Charlie
CH1YO


Not really, it's been pretty simple thus far. The common mistake is presumably to over complicate things.
Onus should never be on the secondary.


I was expecting a filthy pun about half way through reading that.

More to the point nuance is a thing but I would have no objection to the order being reversed if that pleases you better.
Fair enough, but that doesn't change that it is rude to do so. I have an annoying habit of trying to help people with computer trouble when they don't particularly want it. I've gotten to the point where it's mostly in my head now, thankfully. Point being that my simply being helpful, when not asked, is tantamount to informing them that I don't believe that they can do it, or do it well, or do it fast enough, or what-have-you. It's rude.


Presumably you are not doing it as well as you might, have you considered changing your approach as opposed to abandoning people?
Is it abandonment if you respect their wishes?

I'd say no.


Their wishes that they have made known to you or the ones which you presume of them?
Shanovale's avatar

Desirable Duelist

8,750 Points
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CH1YO
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
CH1YO
Shanovale
Personally, I understand exactly what you're talking about...It irritates me when people fuss over those with disabilities or illnesses that they were born with, Constantly drawing attention to what people percieve to be something that should be fixed, Without even consulting the person who's afflicted.

Wanting people to conform to their definition of 'Normal' is pathetic, And they should back the hell off if the person in question isn't bothered by it.


If you reject other people's ideals why do you expect that anyone should care about yours?


I would give you a proper reply, If i wasn't so sure you're only on this thread to be argumentative because you have nothing better to do...So i'll just say this. I accept other people's ideals, But does this mean i should follow them? Take Racism, Sexism, Or Homophobia as Ideals...I take it you accept their views as being their own personal opinions, But do you agree with them? Are you like a sheep that follows any belief that you are presented with? I'm saying that although i accept that people do it, And have good intentions in mind, I don't agree with that specific reaction to seeing those with disabilities and i'm in no way telling you to have the same views as i do on the subject.


If I'm only on this threat to be argumentative it would be specifically because I have something better to do, invariably.Negative attitudes are not ideals. That much should be obvious. I am willing and inclined to accept a person for the unique individual that they are and even to extend unconditional positive regard, pouring scorn upon a person's beliefs is not useful and to condemn them for trying to help should be severely punishable.


Does this mean that you are fine with things such as woman beating, Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, And applaud such people for being as such? What of rapists and *****, Do they also warrant your praise? Everyone is a unique individual, Wether you accept it or not isn't worth a damn, As it is a matter of fact. As for trying to help, What if the person in question does not NEED help...What if they have accepted whatever they may be afflicted with as a part of themselves, And all attempts to 'Help' the person that needs no help as there is nothing wrong with them, Result in upsetting the individual? Making them self concious, And destroying their confidence?

This is what i am referring to when i say i do not agree with it...Only in those situations. Trying to help those who need it, And openly accept it is one thing, But trying to help those who don't believe there is anything that they need help with is a different matter entirely...It's akin to trying to 'Help' a gay man, Because he's not straight...It is an act of discrimination, As accidental as it may be, And i can't abide it.


In the particular example of ****** I have helped people immensely through provision of unconditional positive regard. It is a good thing, always.

People often do not recognise that they need help until it is rather too late, why you would encourage such hardship is beyond me.


It is only a hardship if you're suffering for it...I'm referring to those who have accepted it as a part of who they are, And live happy lives, Unhindered by their so called disabilities...You wish to help those that need no help, That are happy and don't even consider their illnesses as anything abnormal. All those that seek to 'Help' those who are comfortable with their disabilities, Who are happy and need no help, Accomplish? Is practically telling them "There is something wrong with you, You have an illness, You're abnormal." When they are perfectly happy with who they are, And how they live their lives, And don't need self righteous fools telling them they need help. All it does is crushes their self confidence, And i don't believe you're even listening to what i'm saying. And on the example of ******? I think you're confusing those who actually commit the atrocity of child molestation with the victims of child molestation...Unless you're saying that child molestation is totally fine.

I think it probably best we cease this conversation, Considering you don't even know what you're trying to defend yourself against.
SmallTownGuy's avatar

Beloved Elder

Help is often needed. Not because they're stupid or anything like that (Aspies often have rather high IQs), but because communication works differently for them than for other people.

In school, a teacher might unknowingly give too-vague homework instructions and expect the students to understand. The Aspie may not even catch that they were instructions at all, or may interpret them in a very different way than the teacher intended. A friend can help watch for such moments.

Aspies often have trouble holding steady work for the same reason. A supervisor may unknowingly give too-vague orders, and the Aspie might not even realize they were orders. Again, a friend can help.
SmallTownGuy
Help is often needed. Not because they're stupid or anything like that (Aspies often have rather high IQs), but because communication works differently for them than for other people.

In school, a teacher might unknowingly give too-vague homework instructions and expect the students to understand. The Aspie may not even catch that they were instructions at all, or may interpret them in a very different way than the teacher intended. A friend can help watch for such moments.

Aspies often have trouble holding steady work for the same reason. A supervisor may unknowingly give too-vague orders, and the Aspie might not even realize they were orders. Again, a friend can help.


I admire your statement. Help is often needed, but then I would be contradicting m first statement. I meant help, as in if they are not normal. What you speak of is an entirely different type of help than what I stated.

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