Homophobia is still a thing?

[Perilous Shade]

"Homophobia's still a thing?"
Asking a question like that proves that you're not looking at the big picture.

Dark Blue is same sex marriage, and then red is the death penalty for homosexuality. Grey means that the unions aren't recognized.


Red means that those countries officially oppose gay rights.
Green means those countries officially support gay rights.

All in all, homophobia's a real problem.
Homophobes are s**t people.

[Lightning the Lulu]

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.

Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.

You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.

I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.

Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".

I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

[Lightning the Lulu]

Old Blue Collar Joe

The20

How's he recording this? Why's he recording that? Is this whole thing set up?
Why's he even arguing with them? It's obvious from the start that this will only end in pain and misery.
Also, i understand this is kinda part of the problem, but way to argue with religious people emotion_facepalm

Also, does this sound contradicting to anyone else?
> he's been gay since before he came out of his mothers uterus
> it's determined within the first six weeks of (birth?) what your personality is
I have a hard time understanding him at some points. What am i missing here?

That he is quite comfortable making s**t up and picking and choosing 'facts' that help him with his outlook and goals, intentionally will lie and twist information, and was quite happy to escalate this from the start just to attempt to make himself look like a victim.
I only wonder how long ago he turned 18? With an attitude like that, he should have been given an 18th birthday cake and twenty bucks for a ******** cab.
And of course, the ever popular 'homoophobia' being thrown around. Not a drop of pity for them until they decide to quit trying to attack everyone that doesn't instantly hold a parade for them.

What's wrong with his attitude? Who asked for a parade? Support your stance.

[Chahklet]

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.
Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.
You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.
I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.
Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".
I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

Actually, I agree with those points.
Maybe I'm just a little confused myself.
No, actually, I'm very confused now.

[Perilous Shade]

If my parents ever talked to me like that I'd probably just set their ******** house on fire while they weren't looking. If they ever attacked me like that and hurled those slurs at me, I'd probably be plotting their murders the very next day. There's no excuse for that whore s**t, and those parents are subhuman deep southern trash; his barbaric b***h mother is ignorant as all Hell and his father should get his skull smashed. s**t like that to me, means war.

Let me tell you something on a serious note though, none of these, "probably," statements would actually come true in such a situation, but the way these parents treated this child boils a certain hatred within me that I haven't felt in a very, very long time. This hatred I feel towards those parents is equivalent to that of God's anger towards Satan himself. Those parents can burn in Hell. I wish we knew their names.

And providing for your child's basic needs doesn't automatically equal successful parenting; that father is an obvious failure for the way he treats his son. Both of his parent's are unfit for the job. Let his father come through where I live spouting that racist, homophobic s**t, and we'll see how long he lasts without being torn limb from limb by an angry mob. evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil

[Lightning the Lulu]

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.
Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.
You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.
I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.
Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".
I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

Actually, I agree with those points.
Maybe I'm just a little confused myself.
No, actually, I'm very confused now.

I'm really sorry. emotion_hug
It is a very confusing thing, I realize this.
Please know that I am an older Gaian and have literally years of therapy and assistance with other abused people behind me to draw on here.
This is not an easy or intuitive thing to get over. If we could logic our way out of mental distress and illnesses the doctors would be our of business, ya know?

[Chahklet]

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.
Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.
You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.
I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.
Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".
I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

Actually, I agree with those points.
Maybe I'm just a little confused myself.
No, actually, I'm very confused now.

I'm really sorry. emotion_hug
It is a very confusing thing, I realize this.
Please know that I am an older Gaian and have literally years of therapy and assistance with other abused people behind me to draw on here.
This is not an easy or intuitive thing to get over. If we could logic our way out of mental distress and illnesses the doctors would be our of business, ya know?

I've had years of therapy, but not for any abusive situations.
Recently, I realized I might need it...
I've always had chemical depression, but only PTSD for the past 4 years.
Also, I'm only a new mother.
I'm in the ED most of the time trying to get a sense of myself.
In this case, I'm trying to think as a parent and as the child.
It's hard to know what's right.

[I AM R U]

Suicidesoldier#1

I AM R U

The20

How's he recording this? Why's he recording that? Is this whole thing set up?
Why's he even arguing with them? It's obvious from the start that this will only end in pain and misery.
Also, i understand this is kinda part of the problem, but way to argue with religious people emotion_facepalm

Also, does this sound contradicting to anyone else?
> he's been gay since before he came out of his mothers uterus
> it's determined within the first six weeks of (birth?) what your personality is
I have a hard time understanding him at some points. What am i missing here?

Well, it can be hard to be coherent when you're discovering that your parents love is conditional and currently being withdrawn :/ My only reaction to my mother telling me my sexuality was because girls didn't like me, was... emotion_0A0 I mean, hardly a hard hitting response!

I was going to respond with "Seems legit, though.", but nah, even for a joke that would be too mean.

I try not to mess with family stuff. emo

Yeah, how about we don't make jokes out of this issue?

[Suicidesoldier#1]

I AM R U

Suicidesoldier#1

I AM R U

The20

How's he recording this? Why's he recording that? Is this whole thing set up?
Why's he even arguing with them? It's obvious from the start that this will only end in pain and misery.
Also, i understand this is kinda part of the problem, but way to argue with religious people emotion_facepalm

Also, does this sound contradicting to anyone else?
> he's been gay since before he came out of his mothers uterus
> it's determined within the first six weeks of (birth?) what your personality is
I have a hard time understanding him at some points. What am i missing here?

Well, it can be hard to be coherent when you're discovering that your parents love is conditional and currently being withdrawn :/ My only reaction to my mother telling me my sexuality was because girls didn't like me, was... emotion_0A0 I mean, hardly a hard hitting response!

I was going to respond with "Seems legit, though.", but nah, even for a joke that would be too mean.

I try not to mess with family stuff. emo

Yeah, how about we don't make jokes out of this issue?

But that's the best way to make ourselves feel better and share in the human experience! emo

Reflecting on the subtle ironies of life and building on that to grow as a person while in the meantime existing in a relaxed environment.

[I AM R U]

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.

Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.

You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.

I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.

Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".

I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

I can never tip you enough for this post, so I'm quoting you as well to tell you I agree with you completely, and have had years of therapy to try and understand the attitude of adults who say things like that ("you should be grateful we fed you" etc). Honestly, what is wrong with some parents who think their children owe them something for simply fulfilling the basic legal requirements of child raising? (Rhetorical question...)

[Lightning the Lulu]

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.
Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.
You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.
I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.
Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".
I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

Actually, I agree with those points.
Maybe I'm just a little confused myself.
No, actually, I'm very confused now.

I'm really sorry. emotion_hug
It is a very confusing thing, I realize this.
Please know that I am an older Gaian and have literally years of therapy and assistance with other abused people behind me to draw on here.
This is not an easy or intuitive thing to get over. If we could logic our way out of mental distress and illnesses the doctors would be our of business, ya know?

I've had years of therapy, but not for any abusive situations.
Recently, I realized I might need it...
I've always had chemical depression, but only PTSD for the past 4 years.
Also, I'm only a new mother.
I'm in the ED most of the time trying to get a sense of myself.
In this case, I'm trying to think as a parent and as the child.
It's hard to know what's right.

You might want to look into it, if you feel like it might be helpful.
Are you back on meds for the depression? On the lookout for aggravated postpartum symptoms?
I've been through treatment for PTSD too.
Having your own child can trigger childhood abuse trauma memories so be careful with yourself ok?
It's very hard to keep perspective, I know it.

[Lightning the Lulu]

I AM R U

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.

Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.

You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.

I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.

Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".

I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

I can never tip you enough for this post, so I'm quoting you as well to tell you I agree with you completely, and have had years of therapy to try and understand the attitude of adults who say things like that ("you should be grateful we fed you" etc). Honestly, what is wrong with some parents who think their children owe them something for simply fulfilling the basic legal requirements of child raising? (Rhetorical question...)

Thank you, because I cannot possibly say it enough.
The people who think a child owes the parent for basic needs really make me want to actively vomit.
Profusely.
A child did not request to be born and appreciation is earned.
Children do not owe their parents custom-made personalities in exchange for keeping them out of the elements and from starving.

[Lightning the Lulu]

I AM R U

Suicidesoldier#1

I AM R U

The20

How's he recording this? Why's he recording that? Is this whole thing set up?
Why's he even arguing with them? It's obvious from the start that this will only end in pain and misery.
Also, i understand this is kinda part of the problem, but way to argue with religious people emotion_facepalm

Also, does this sound contradicting to anyone else?
> he's been gay since before he came out of his mothers uterus
> it's determined within the first six weeks of (birth?) what your personality is
I have a hard time understanding him at some points. What am i missing here?

Well, it can be hard to be coherent when you're discovering that your parents love is conditional and currently being withdrawn :/ My only reaction to my mother telling me my sexuality was because girls didn't like me, was... emotion_0A0 I mean, hardly a hard hitting response!

I was going to respond with "Seems legit, though.", but nah, even for a joke that would be too mean.

I try not to mess with family stuff. emo

Yeah, how about we don't make jokes out of this issue?

Agreed, and filed under "Even More Reasons Suicidesoldier#1 Will Never, Ever, Get Off Ignored"

[I AM R U]

The Legendary Guest

I AM R U

The Legendary Guest

Chahklet

The Legendary Guest

I am a parent.

Keeping a roof over your child's head and putting food on the table is not raising the child. It is covering their basic survival needs. It is not something the child should be expected to show gratitude for.

You do not choose what other people think over your love for your child, then claim that you truly love and support them.

I am a parent too. And I am grateful for what my parents have given me even if they are emotionally abusive. Why? Because I have seen friends who had it so much worse. They have more freedom but then thats only because their parents do not even care at all. Actually, I still haven't figured out what is worse. Parents that do not care whatsoever? Or parents who care so much that it ends up controlling, codependency, and emotionally abusive? Ugh, it's hard to find a balance.

You and I differ, in that case.

I am grateful to my less-than-adept-at-parenting, who I now realize is doing the best they can, and I feel complete apathy toward my absurd and abusive parent. Only one of them EXPECTED gratitude and used it to manipulative ends, the other knew it was just a matter of doing what you do for your kids and never asked me to be someone I was not in return for my basic needs being met.

Things I have learned in abuse recovery and parenting classes:
The fact that there are degrees of abuse does not excuse abuse on any level.
Being a victim is not a contest - someone having it worse does not make it acceptable for someone else to have been abused.
Meeting your child's basic physical needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Meeting your child's basic emotional needs is something you owe your child without expecting gratitude in return.
Adult children are adults and do not owe you anything for having raised them.
"Caring" does not manifest as manipulation and ultimatums. That's "ego".

I could go on, but this is obviously a big sore spot for a lot of people. The bottom line is that I strongly disagree with anybody who is calling the child in the video "ungrateful", including his parents.

I can never tip you enough for this post, so I'm quoting you as well to tell you I agree with you completely, and have had years of therapy to try and understand the attitude of adults who say things like that ("you should be grateful we fed you" etc). Honestly, what is wrong with some parents who think their children owe them something for simply fulfilling the basic legal requirements of child raising? (Rhetorical question...)

Thank you, because I cannot possibly say it enough.
The people who think a child owes the parent for basic needs really make me want to actively vomit.
Profusely.
A child did not request to be born and appreciation is earned.
Children do not owe their parents custom-made personalities in exchange for keeping them out of the elements and from starving.

heart
All the agreement. Children have basic rights, and fulfilling them doesn't make one a good parent or deserving of praise/appreciation. Its the bare minimum that parents agree to perform by giving birth to a child - making such things conditional on the child meeting certain expectations makes one a bad parent and a horrible human being.

[I AM R U]

The Legendary Guest

I AM R U

Suicidesoldier#1

I AM R U

The20

How's he recording this? Why's he recording that? Is this whole thing set up?
Why's he even arguing with them? It's obvious from the start that this will only end in pain and misery.
Also, i understand this is kinda part of the problem, but way to argue with religious people emotion_facepalm

Also, does this sound contradicting to anyone else?
> he's been gay since before he came out of his mothers uterus
> it's determined within the first six weeks of (birth?) what your personality is
I have a hard time understanding him at some points. What am i missing here?

Well, it can be hard to be coherent when you're discovering that your parents love is conditional and currently being withdrawn :/ My only reaction to my mother telling me my sexuality was because girls didn't like me, was... emotion_0A0 I mean, hardly a hard hitting response!

I was going to respond with "Seems legit, though.", but nah, even for a joke that would be too mean.

I try not to mess with family stuff. emo

Yeah, how about we don't make jokes out of this issue?

Agreed, and filed under "Even More Reasons Suicidesoldier#1 Will Never, Ever, Get Off Ignored"

The only reason he isn't on my ignore list is my general policy of not putting people on the ignore list... But he's gotten very close, many times...