Hardened Individuals and the Causes of them...

Hardening if the fault of:

Total Votes:

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This poll closed on December 25, 2004.
No longer accepting new votes.

[Sensedog]

My personal opinion is that the individual's control over themselves is less than the stress caused by whatever life can throw their way. Sometimes, they just don't have a choice but to do what they have to do.

[DINOSAURS!]

circumstances, without a doubt. although some people may be misanthropes by nature, they don't completely turn their back on the world without a catalyst, such as a harsh upbringing or unfair treatment. people who are "hardened", "cold", or "uncaring" are simply reacting to their environment.

[ioioouiouiouio]

I believe that it is both the circumstances and the person. If it werent for the person being who they are then they would have crumbled under the pressure. I, myself, am a bit of a "hard" person and I know that many in the same place would not be able to cope as well (well, thats a bad word, I should say efficiently) as I can.

Though psychologically a person is nothing more than the collective of their past experiances.

[Sabredog]

Well, if we're going to get technical, the cause of the hardened individual itself is when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, and...

Circumstance. Nobody's a lost cause - it all depends on what you teach them and in what quantities. Until someone discovers an opinions gene, I think that theory works quite nicely. 3nodding

[MandarHobbit]

Now, "Hardened" does not necessarily mean "evil". Okay, my boyfriend, Nikola, grew up in war-torn Serbia during the NATO bombing. Before he was 5 he saw people mowed down by gunfire, cut in half, die of shrapnel wounds and get decapitated. Then, he moved to Australia. His mother bitches all the time, his father forces him to work hard(For his own benefit, though) and his younger brother disgraces the proud race of Serbians.

Now, he is what you would typically consider "hardened." He knows matrial arts and can kick your a** any day of the week. He wears dark clothes and blends into the background. Also, he has a warped sense of humour, is extremely pessemistic and write very dark and depressing literature.

On the other hand, he's a very caring person with those that he learns to trust. He's not bad, he's just a wounded soul that doesn't want to get hurt again...and that makes him seem "distant", although he wouldn't go out and pick a fight. Honestly, it depends on what type of hardened person you are...

But, this is not necessarily true for all people...so, this is just an example of the not so masoginistic hardened type.

[FallenLeaves]

Circumstances. It's a defense mechanism, and the beginning of the process, anyway, is likely subconscious. When faced with an intolerable situation, we do what we must to preserve ourselves.

[Cassandra022]

I'd say it's more circumstances then anything else. If you were raised in a certain enviroment, your way of thinking, acting, and looking at the world will be different then it might otherwise. Some things would probably be the same regardless of enviroment, but I think 'hardness' is mostly enviromental 3nodding

[Vicar_of_Sagacity]

We are all products of our enviroment. Your mind is shaped by the things that happen in your life, we all see reality in a different way, it also affects our morals, actions, thoughts, ect. So if a person were to be treated in the way you describe in the first post, then it would affect the persons sence and interpretation of reality. Therefore what they see as "right" and "wrong" would change. If it's serious enough it will create a person who warped with dagerious problems. Some would see things and justify things in a different light.

Its is not entirely their falt, mearly their interpretation of reality, created by the enviroment they were sorounded by. So blaming it on them may, or maynot be reasonable.

[Tenzin Chodron]

The individual decides how they react to circumstances. Therefore, it's not the circumstances which harden a person, it's the person's chosen reaction to them.

[Vicar_of_Sagacity]

Quote:

The individual decides how they react to circumstances. Therefore, it's not the circumstances which harden a person, it's the person's chosen reaction to them.

Correct, but the choice is due to their twisted logic and interpretation of reality, which was a product of the enviroment they lived in.

[Shallafynn]

Quote:

Its both. Sure the circumstances were bad and I can understand that becoming self-reliant can sometimes be the only way to survive or get ahead in life. But I believe its also up to the individual to grow from those circumstances and make the decision to become a better person.

I agree.... I have had friends who rose above the abusive circumstances of their upbringing. The ones that don't, end up blaming everyone and everything but themselves. Choice is important. You always have a choice.

[Vicar_of_Sagacity]

Has anyone heard of "Tabula Rosa" or "Complex Adaptive Systems". These are things that go on in our mind, it's how we learn from the world and enviroment around us.

How we interpret, see things in the world, and make choices are defined and made from what we learn. Our identity(who we are) is created through this.

[Vicar_of_Sagacity]

Quote:

Quote:

Its both. Sure the circumstances were bad and I can understand that becoming self-reliant can sometimes be the only way to survive or get ahead in life. But I believe its also up to the individual to grow from those circumstances and make the decision to become a better person.

I agree.... I have had friends who rose above the abusive circumstances of their upbringing. The ones that don't, end up blaming everyone and everything but themselves. Choice is important. You always have a choice.

Of course, some people are stronger than others, have more hope, ect. We all have a choice, but it is these choices and the enivroment that help shape us. Some are not so lucky.

[Sakerra]

The circumstances, if that person grew up in a rich loving family, chances are they would like a different life.

[Ghaben]

I would like to give you an example, so that you can see what I speak of.

Both my parents used to be teachers in high school, while they were still pursuing their business degrees. My father and my mother both had different experiences. They both taught math, because that is what they had gotten their bachelor's degrees in. (I guess math geeks are very attractive to each other or something).

Unfortunately, they came across some very pathetic cases during their careers. There were students who would come in looking very sleepy, because they had been watching their siblings the night before. Others would come in and try their hardest in class, but be unable to study at home because of unstable home lives. Not everyone is as fortunate as I was to have an abuelita to escape to when things got hectic at home.

My mother would sometimes stay a few minutes after class to cheer her downtrodden students up. When she came home, she was my mom again. She was able to compartmentalize the bad parts of her day, and still come home and be nurturing to me and my father.

My father, on the other hand, became highly jaded, and began seeing his students as numbers. He couldn't handle the amount of troubles that faced many of his students, so he simply shut down that part of himself. He grew a very thick skin, and now it takes a lot to move him.

Maybe it's because my mother is a woman, and my father is a man that they handled the situation differently. But in either case, I think that the responsibility for the way they handled their respective situations lies squarely in their own laps.