Government letting yet another child down?

[Wee Little]

My parents have been making phone calls all night while we try to pull strings on what we can do.

I live in Michigan, and my sister lives in Virginia. For pretty much a decade now she has struggled with drug addiction. 8 years ago she lost custody of her 4 kids because thanks to her habits, she was neglecting them and putting them in a dirty and dangerous environment. A year later she gave birth to another baby, but it was born addicted to crack, and she lost custody almost instantly, and my parents were granted custody. We then let a family friend adopt him because my parents were already overwhelmed.

Random info about my sis over the years:
-She's been shot, beaten, and been held hostage by dealers 3 times.
-She went to prison for drug charges for 3 years
-She's been to prison two other times, but just for 3-6 months.
-She's been to rehab 3 times.
-She's been ordered and offered counseling multiple times (on her own and with family), but only took the offers twice.
-Dr.Phil's show has asked us to come on.
-A local news station even did a story on us.

So last September she gave birth to her 8th baby. This was the only baby she had custody of. When the baby was born, we and her ex whom she was living with called CPS letting them know that she was a known drug addict, was not working, and had lost custody of multiple children and it was perhaps best to investigate her and consider taking custody away from her. Her condition hasn't gotten any better over the years, so we didn't want to take risks. They said since the baby was physically okay and she had a legal residence, she could take her home. After that she stopped talking to my mom because she found out my mom was one of the people who called CPS on her. Of course she made an exception around Thanksgiving when we were in Virginia and she had nothing to do on Thanksgiving... after that, she stopped contacting us again.

Today we got a call from her ex, who told us that she had been arrested and that she was going to be in prison for awhile and that care had been passed onto the baby daddy. This is where things definitely get ******** up. Immediately, my parents called CPS to see if they could try for custody since my sister has been arrested. We found out that we couldn't do that because when my sister went to jail during her pregnancy, she enrolled herself in some second-chance program where they try to get drug addicted or criminal mothers treatment and get over their issues and addiction and part of that program was that if the mother had a relapse (or you know, doesn't change...), the baby would be given to someone on a list of individuals decided by the mother. All of the people on the list are shady people, two are confirmed drug addicts, and the first person, the person who got the baby, is the father, some guy named Sammy.

My dad asked what were his qualifications because from what we heard, she hadn't put him on the birth certificate and he lived in another state, and the worker said they did a paternity test and it was confirmed he was the father, so the baby automatically went to him. Here's something more ******** up...

Sammy refuses to give people his last name. He just goes by "Sammy." My sister's ex tried to ask for his last name, and he refused to give it. Sammy is staying with my sister's ex currently. Julius, the ex, is only doing it because he wants to keep an eye on the baby and make sure everything is okay, so he offered to let the guy stay with him. He doesn't have an actual home. He hops from home to home. Julius wanted to put Sammy on the lease for legal purposes (but not make him pay), and the guy flipped out on him telling him he couldn't do that. He has no job, he has no home, and he refuses to give his last name or provide ID.

Why the ******** did the state give custody to this guy??? Did they even do a background check on him? Last I recall, it doesn't matter if you're blood, if you don't have a home or a job, you are NOT fit to be a parent. He's probably a felon with a warrant! And knowing my sister, he's probably a drug addict as well. And Julius and my parents are freaking out because they don't know who the hell this guy really is, they just know he goes by Sammy. If he decides to take off with the baby... there's no way to track them down. Yet, if they call in to inquire about perhaps having custody turned over to them, they get told a flat no because she's in that stupid program that probably doesn't even work for a majority of those who go into it. I understand they're trying to keep kids and women out of the system, but this baby has capable family willing to take her in, and they give her to a bum?

TL;DR:

My crackhead sister went to prison and thanks to a second change program, they put the baby in the biological fathers care. They clearly didn't do a background check because this guy is confirmed homeless and jobless and is probably a wanted felon as he refuses to give people his real name. Discuss the state letting down this poor innocent baby.

I wish there was something we could do, but we're running out of ideas. My dad is going to call her second-chance case worker and b***h the lady out for giving custody to a man who is basically homeless and potentially a wanted criminal. I know a lot of people would say its none of our business and to give up, but its easier said than done until you've been in the situation and gotten to see and hold the baby and care for it deeply. I was thinking if we can't go through CPS, maybe contact the police somehow? This guy does act suspicious, and he refuses to register his name to an address.

[low iq 111]

write them a million letters and keep calling
etc etc

[I Shall Grant You NoMercy]

Why hasnt your family disowned her yet?
-_-

[rizuhbull]

Go on Dr.Phil's show than rob him :3

[razorsarz]

she really has 8 kids? time to use a condom?

[Miss-dark8607]

Sadly that's kind of the norm. People lie to the state all the time. Something very similar happened in my family. There is a lot of loopholes in the system and a good case of "who gives a ********". Even when they do a POOR job of it social workers and/or CPS will get paid either/or. I'm really sorry for your family. Its too bad its illegal to get such people "fixed" like a cat or dog. Cause sorry but sounds like your sister needs to be fixed.

[Aries.Girl.Loves.Dance]

So your parents get custody of the baby and the, what? They allow another family friend to adopt it? (EDIT: not that adoption is bad but something about it in this situation doesn't sit right with me.)

Or better yet the State takes it away and it ends up bouncing around in foster care.

Perhaps you should consider that the baby is right where it needs to be for the moment. Maybe The "father" won't give his last name to you but he did to the state. I highly doubt they would hand the baby to him if he refused to give proper identification. I'm not saying he's not weird or that the situation isn't odd but still...

Also being homeless and having no job does not automatically mean unfit parent. There are actually many family homeless shelters and transitional housing programs in VA that help people with this kind of situation precisely. Maybe something like this needs to be looked into.

And as a side note; where are babies 1-4 and 6-7?

[Jaydi Blaze]

Miss-dark8607

Sadly that's kind of the norm. People lie to the state all the time. Something very similar happened in my family. There is a lot of loopholes in the system and a good case of "who gives a ********". Even when they do a POOR job of it social workers and/or CPS will get paid either/or. I'm really sorry for your family. Its too bad its illegal to get such people "fixed" like a cat or dog. Cause sorry but sounds like your sister needs to be fixed.

Every time you post you prove just how little you know.

[Miss-dark8607]

Jaydi Blaze

Miss-dark8607

Sadly that's kind of the norm. People lie to the state all the time. Something very similar happened in my family. There is a lot of loopholes in the system and a good case of "who gives a ********". Even when they do a POOR job of it social workers and/or CPS will get paid either/or. I'm really sorry for your family. Its too bad its illegal to get such people "fixed" like a cat or dog. Cause sorry but sounds like your sister needs to be fixed.

Every time you post you prove just how little you know.

yeah cause we all know WIKI trumps actual life experience. rolleyes

[Yuki the Third]

Miss-dark8607

Jaydi Blaze

Miss-dark8607

Sadly that's kind of the norm. People lie to the state all the time. Something very similar happened in my family. There is a lot of loopholes in the system and a good case of "who gives a ********". Even when they do a POOR job of it social workers and/or CPS will get paid either/or. I'm really sorry for your family. Its too bad its illegal to get such people "fixed" like a cat or dog. Cause sorry but sounds like your sister needs to be fixed.

Every time you post you prove just how little you know.

yeah cause we all know WIKI trumps actual life experience. rolleyes

and your real life experience makes it illegal for people to get their tubes tied how?

[Ms Ragnarok]

Wee Little

...had a relapse (or you know, doesn't change...)

Besides this tid-bit which makes me pretty damn angry, I feel bad for everyone involved. cat_cry

[ChronoSpark]

Miss-dark8607

Jaydi Blaze

Miss-dark8607

Sadly that's kind of the norm. People lie to the state all the time. Something very similar happened in my family. There is a lot of loopholes in the system and a good case of "who gives a ********". Even when they do a POOR job of it social workers and/or CPS will get paid either/or. I'm really sorry for your family. Its too bad its illegal to get such people "fixed" like a cat or dog. Cause sorry but sounds like your sister needs to be fixed.

Every time you post you prove just how little you know.

yeah cause we all know WIKI trumps actual life experience. rolleyes

Wikipedia links to sources with empirical evidence and data. "Actual life experience" = anecdotal evidence unless backed up by some kind of empirical data as mentioned.

[Wee Little]

Aries.Girl.Loves.Dance

So your parents get custody of the baby and the, what? They allow another family friend to adopt it? (EDIT: not that adoption is bad but something about it in this situation doesn't sit right with me.)

Or better yet the State takes it away and it ends up bouncing around in foster care.

Perhaps you should consider that the baby is right where it needs to be for the moment. Maybe The "father" won't give his last name to you but he did to the state. I highly doubt they would hand the baby to him if he refused to give proper identification. I'm not saying he's not weird or that the situation isn't odd but still...

Also being homeless and having no job does not automatically mean unfit parent. There are actually many family homeless shelters and transitional housing programs in VA that help people with this kind of situation precisely. Maybe something like this needs to be looked into.

And as a side note; where are babies 1-4 and 6-7?

Now please don't assume we haven't thought about what we'd do, we've been thinking about this ever since she told us she was pregnant. It's not about taking her baby away from her simply in spite of her. It's about getting this baby into a safe home with responsible parents. My sister lost her kids because of her lifestyle leading to her neglecting them, not because she was a drug addict. She did things to lose them, and overall, her lifestyle hasn't changed. We wouldn't put her in foster care, we'd let my sister's ex, or a family friend, adopt her. I've volunteered to care for her until we are able to get her to a new home. We have a few family friends in Virginia who are looking to adopt and have told us they are willing to take her if something were to happen with my sister. Both of her other kids that were adopted were put into an open adoption, so its not like she can't see them.

But from experience, we know she is not fit to be a mother right now. We know my sister, we know the people she associates with, its been the same stuff for 10 years, possible longer... she's never really associated with that great of people and when she did know a generally good person, she merely used them. We are pretty confident this guy is not suitable. Seriously, he won't give his name to a man who is giving him a home? That does not sit right with me and its typical to druggie and criminal behavior. If he was honestly in a bad situation out of his control, I am certain he would be grateful for being given a home and would give his name to ensure that he could continue to live there. Nicknames are common in the drug business and world, and he will only let people call him Sammy. This is to make it harder for cops to track them down, because when they ask about said individual, all they can get is a nickname. Being homeless and jobless doesn't always mean someone is down on his luck. If he is associating with my sister, is it most likely because he can't keep or get a job due to something like not being able to pass a drug test, or he's a felon (then again, felons can find jobs), he is in hiding, or simply because he's a druggie who is more concerned about hunting down his next high.

Her first baby she had died at birth, the second one is with us, the third was put up for adoption (because the baby very obviously not her husbands. Her decision), fourth through the sixth are with us, the seventh was put up for adoption, and the eighth is the current one we're trying to get into a safe home.

The only reason we trust her ex is because he is a genuinely good guy. He is a single father who is working as a high school teacher. He was not aware of her lifestyle when they began dating. She was in a halfway home when she met him, and seeing him was what got her kicked out of it so he let her come live with him since she was pregnant. He wanted to believe she had changed, and tried to support her. But her habits soon kicked back in. He's only put up with her for the baby's sake and because he was promised he could be the legal father. But I think she decided to not put his name on the birth certificate because we called CPS on her and she knew he had spoken to us.

[Old Blue Collar Joe]

Wee Little

My parents have been making phone calls all night while we try to pull strings on what we can do.

I live in Michigan, and my sister lives in Virginia. For pretty much a decade now she has struggled with drug addiction. 8 years ago she lost custody of her 4 kids because thanks to her habits, she was neglecting them and putting them in a dirty and dangerous environment. A year later she gave birth to another baby, but it was born addicted to crack, and she lost custody almost instantly, and my parents were granted custody. We then let a family friend adopt him because my parents were already overwhelmed.

Random info about my sis over the years:
-She's been shot, beaten, and been held hostage by dealers 3 times.
-She went to prison for drug charges for 3 years
-She's been to prison two other times, but just for 3-6 months.
-She's been to rehab 3 times.
-She's been ordered and offered counseling multiple times (on her own and with family), but only took the offers twice.
-Dr.Phil's show has asked us to come on.
-A local news station even did a story on us.

So last September she gave birth to her 8th baby. This was the only baby she had custody of. When the baby was born, we and her ex whom she was living with called CPS letting them know that she was a known drug addict, was not working, and had lost custody of multiple children and it was perhaps best to investigate her and consider taking custody away from her. Her condition hasn't gotten any better over the years, so we didn't want to take risks. They said since the baby was physically okay and she had a legal residence, she could take her home. After that she stopped talking to my mom because she found out my mom was one of the people who called CPS on her. Of course she made an exception around Thanksgiving when we were in Virginia and she had nothing to do on Thanksgiving... after that, she stopped contacting us again.

Today we got a call from her ex, who told us that she had been arrested and that she was going to be in prison for awhile and that care had been passed onto the baby daddy. This is where things definitely get ******** up. Immediately, my parents called CPS to see if they could try for custody since my sister has been arrested. We found out that we couldn't do that because when my sister went to jail during her pregnancy, she enrolled herself in some second-chance program where they try to get drug addicted or criminal mothers treatment and get over their issues and addiction and part of that program was that if the mother had a relapse (or you know, doesn't change...), the baby would be given to someone on a list of individuals decided by the mother. All of the people on the list are shady people, two are confirmed drug addicts, and the first person, the person who got the baby, is the father, some guy named Sammy.

My dad asked what were his qualifications because from what we heard, she hadn't put him on the birth certificate and he lived in another state, and the worker said they did a paternity test and it was confirmed he was the father, so the baby automatically went to him. Here's something more ******** up...

Sammy refuses to give people his last name. He just goes by "Sammy." My sister's ex tried to ask for his last name, and he refused to give it. Sammy is staying with my sister's ex currently. Julius, the ex, is only doing it because he wants to keep an eye on the baby and make sure everything is okay, so he offered to let the guy stay with him. He doesn't have an actual home. He hops from home to home. Julius wanted to put Sammy on the lease for legal purposes (but not make him pay), and the guy flipped out on him telling him he couldn't do that. He has no job, he has no home, and he refuses to give his last name or provide ID.

Why the ******** did the state give custody to this guy??? Did they even do a background check on him? Last I recall, it doesn't matter if you're blood, if you don't have a home or a job, you are NOT fit to be a parent. He's probably a felon with a warrant! And knowing my sister, he's probably a drug addict as well. And Julius and my parents are freaking out because they don't know who the hell this guy really is, they just know he goes by Sammy. If he decides to take off with the baby... there's no way to track them down. Yet, if they call in to inquire about perhaps having custody turned over to them, they get told a flat no because she's in that stupid program that probably doesn't even work for a majority of those who go into it. I understand they're trying to keep kids and women out of the system, but this baby has capable family willing to take her in, and they give her to a bum?

TL;DR:

My crackhead sister went to prison and thanks to a second change program, they put the baby in the biological fathers care. They clearly didn't do a background check because this guy is confirmed homeless and jobless and is probably a wanted felon as he refuses to give people his real name. Discuss the state letting down this poor innocent baby.

I wish there was something we could do, but we're running out of ideas. My dad is going to call her second-chance case worker and b***h the lady out for giving custody to a man who is basically homeless and potentially a wanted criminal. I know a lot of people would say its none of our business and to give up, but its easier said than done until you've been in the situation and gotten to see and hold the baby and care for it deeply. I was thinking if we can't go through CPS, maybe contact the police somehow? This guy does act suspicious, and he refuses to register his name to an address.

Tell Julius that next time he does the dishes, lift a cup/glass that Sammy has drank out of, and get prints ran on it, then check and see if old Sammy is a wanted felon somewhere. He could get a reward for it.

[InariKistune]

Old Blue Collar Joe

Wee Little

My parents have been making phone calls all night while we try to pull strings on what we can do.

I live in Michigan, and my sister lives in Virginia. For pretty much a decade now she has struggled with drug addiction. 8 years ago she lost custody of her 4 kids because thanks to her habits, she was neglecting them and putting them in a dirty and dangerous environment. A year later she gave birth to another baby, but it was born addicted to crack, and she lost custody almost instantly, and my parents were granted custody. We then let a family friend adopt him because my parents were already overwhelmed.

Random info about my sis over the years:
-She's been shot, beaten, and been held hostage by dealers 3 times.
-She went to prison for drug charges for 3 years
-She's been to prison two other times, but just for 3-6 months.
-She's been to rehab 3 times.
-She's been ordered and offered counseling multiple times (on her own and with family), but only took the offers twice.
-Dr.Phil's show has asked us to come on.
-A local news station even did a story on us.

So last September she gave birth to her 8th baby. This was the only baby she had custody of. When the baby was born, we and her ex whom she was living with called CPS letting them know that she was a known drug addict, was not working, and had lost custody of multiple children and it was perhaps best to investigate her and consider taking custody away from her. Her condition hasn't gotten any better over the years, so we didn't want to take risks. They said since the baby was physically okay and she had a legal residence, she could take her home. After that she stopped talking to my mom because she found out my mom was one of the people who called CPS on her. Of course she made an exception around Thanksgiving when we were in Virginia and she had nothing to do on Thanksgiving... after that, she stopped contacting us again.

Today we got a call from her ex, who told us that she had been arrested and that she was going to be in prison for awhile and that care had been passed onto the baby daddy. This is where things definitely get ******** up. Immediately, my parents called CPS to see if they could try for custody since my sister has been arrested. We found out that we couldn't do that because when my sister went to jail during her pregnancy, she enrolled herself in some second-chance program where they try to get drug addicted or criminal mothers treatment and get over their issues and addiction and part of that program was that if the mother had a relapse (or you know, doesn't change...), the baby would be given to someone on a list of individuals decided by the mother. All of the people on the list are shady people, two are confirmed drug addicts, and the first person, the person who got the baby, is the father, some guy named Sammy.

My dad asked what were his qualifications because from what we heard, she hadn't put him on the birth certificate and he lived in another state, and the worker said they did a paternity test and it was confirmed he was the father, so the baby automatically went to him. Here's something more ******** up...

Sammy refuses to give people his last name. He just goes by "Sammy." My sister's ex tried to ask for his last name, and he refused to give it. Sammy is staying with my sister's ex currently. Julius, the ex, is only doing it because he wants to keep an eye on the baby and make sure everything is okay, so he offered to let the guy stay with him. He doesn't have an actual home. He hops from home to home. Julius wanted to put Sammy on the lease for legal purposes (but not make him pay), and the guy flipped out on him telling him he couldn't do that. He has no job, he has no home, and he refuses to give his last name or provide ID.

Why the ******** did the state give custody to this guy??? Did they even do a background check on him? Last I recall, it doesn't matter if you're blood, if you don't have a home or a job, you are NOT fit to be a parent. He's probably a felon with a warrant! And knowing my sister, he's probably a drug addict as well. And Julius and my parents are freaking out because they don't know who the hell this guy really is, they just know he goes by Sammy. If he decides to take off with the baby... there's no way to track them down. Yet, if they call in to inquire about perhaps having custody turned over to them, they get told a flat no because she's in that stupid program that probably doesn't even work for a majority of those who go into it. I understand they're trying to keep kids and women out of the system, but this baby has capable family willing to take her in, and they give her to a bum?

TL;DR:

My crackhead sister went to prison and thanks to a second change program, they put the baby in the biological fathers care. They clearly didn't do a background check because this guy is confirmed homeless and jobless and is probably a wanted felon as he refuses to give people his real name. Discuss the state letting down this poor innocent baby.

I wish there was something we could do, but we're running out of ideas. My dad is going to call her second-chance case worker and b***h the lady out for giving custody to a man who is basically homeless and potentially a wanted criminal. I know a lot of people would say its none of our business and to give up, but its easier said than done until you've been in the situation and gotten to see and hold the baby and care for it deeply. I was thinking if we can't go through CPS, maybe contact the police somehow? This guy does act suspicious, and he refuses to register his name to an address.

Tell Julius that next time he does the dishes, lift a cup/glass that Sammy has drank out of, and get prints ran on it, then check and see if old Sammy is a wanted felon somewhere. He could get a reward for it.

And drop any mutha ******** that tries to step up on the prints, ya feel me playa?