Eye Contact

[Suicidesoldier#1]

When you peer into my eyes, you will see the glassy eyed stair of a man filled with fire, the zealot blaze of a man still burning with intense passion, a man who's lived a 1000 years with an age that goes beyond the initial, genteel appearance; a fading, subtle haze, that peers into your soul, grasping at your very being, and driving you to insanity.

It's not for the faint of heart.

[-Kali-La-Fae-]

pinchot

1) Does eye contact bother you?
2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?
3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?
4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?

-No but me making eye contact seems to bother some people, i've been told my eyes change color. "they are intense" is the most common thing I hear.

-That what they are saying is somehow a falsehood.

-Both in different ways, it's hard to explain.

-Neither, really, it is a standard non-greeting. but i'm around random people a lot and because of point one people tend to take notice of me in those circumstances.

[Mynolis]

Fermionic

I use eye contact to intimidate people, it seems to work.

[shadow22cat]

1) Does eye contact bother you?
Yes, if it's for a prolonged period of time. Oh, and especially if they're really intense about it. And, if you look away for a sec, they follow you. It's kind of creepy. I don't feel particularly intimidated by it, though. I tend to use eye contact right away, then glance away for a little bit, look back, etc. Sometimes if I really want to listen to someone, I use eye contact first then move my head so one of my ears is closer to the person speaking and concentrate on it. I sometimes look at the ceiling during this. I pay very close attention to the person while I do it. It's not like I have a hearing problem (in fact, I can hear very well. Better than most of the people I know), I just want to hear everything. Some people talk really softly.

2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?
If they really keep up the eye contact I think of them as being serious and intense, even if they smile at me. If they don't make any eye contact, it feels funny as well. Kind of like you aren't there, or they're thinking of something else, or they're bored.

3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?
Encouraged at school, but my family didn't really care. Even in the culture I grew up in, it's iffy. They don't necessarily encourage or discourage it.

4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?
Neither uncomfortable or reassuring. sweatdrop More like they're just being nice, polite, and/or neighborly. I like it. I smile at everyone. Most of the time people smile back. They seem happier too. Some people remember me as 'that smiling girl'. Not sure if that's a good thing to be remembered by. rolleyes And, I do nod quite often when I greet someone.

[Viscount]

1) Does eye contact bother you?

I've had one experience where eye contact really unsettled me. The guy's gaze was too intense, too piercing. Something about it felt ominous and oppressive. I turned down the job offer. Otherwise, I've never had issues with eye contact.

2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?

I study the deductive art of body language quite avidly and eye contact is a big deal. The myth is that someone who can't make eye contact is lying to you; that's not entirely true. A person who is lying to you will either not make eye contact or will not break eye contact. If a person is able to still glance around and perform other tasks during conversation without missing a beat, they're either a very talented liar or they're not lying. When somebody ceases their behaviors entirely and maintains unflinching eye contact, they're trying very hard to seem honest.

3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?

Encouraged. It implies pride and self-control, supposedly. In direct, one-on-one conversations, such as interviews eye contact is strongly encouraged, but intense eye contact implies manipulation.

4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?

A bit of both. I would nod and smile back, or I'd do it first, because that's just what I do. But it's very uncomfortable because, depending on how far you are from each other, now you either have to uncomfortably maintain that gaze as you pass each other or go back to pretending a person exists who you just acknowledged the existence of.

[Ask Jappleack]

pinchot

ever since i was a kid, my father told me: "If you don't look a man in the eye, they will only tell you lies." from there i was under the impression if i spoke to anyone i was to look them in the eye, even if they didn't look back. if i were walking down the street i was to look a man or woman in the eye if they caught mine and give them a down-right-honest smile. that was what everyone in town did after all.

as i've grown older, and moved out of Podunkville, i've noticed there are mixed feelings on this. in fact, i've had some people inform me that looking someone in the eye can be considered rude or flirtatious. in most species beyond humans (aren't we always the oddballs?) direct eye contact is a very threatening display. nonetheless, it seems some cultures are taught to use direct eye contact or avoid it.

personally, i like it. i know someone is paying attention to me (and i them) when we're meeting eye-to-eye. in some cases it also makes judging the type of person they are much easier. it also makes telling the truth from lies a lot easier and noticing if someone really does know what they are talking about or if they aren't too sure... all from eye contact. the passing glances part... i dont have a preference but it often feels nice to give a smile to someone. some will return it with the same gusto but more often than not, it's a wary sort of smile like they aren't sure if they should smile to a stranger or if they are in danger or something but it isn't the most comforting.

so ED, what are your thoughts and feelings on eye contact? here's a quick list:

1) Does eye contact bother you?
2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?
3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?
4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?

in american psychology avoiding eye contact is seen as a symptom of mental illness.

[Viscount]

No-Mi-Jutsu-Yu

pinchot

ever since i was a kid, my father told me: "If you don't look a man in the eye, they will only tell you lies." from there i was under the impression if i spoke to anyone i was to look them in the eye, even if they didn't look back. if i were walking down the street i was to look a man or woman in the eye if they caught mine and give them a down-right-honest smile. that was what everyone in town did after all.

as i've grown older, and moved out of Podunkville, i've noticed there are mixed feelings on this. in fact, i've had some people inform me that looking someone in the eye can be considered rude or flirtatious. in most species beyond humans (aren't we always the oddballs?) direct eye contact is a very threatening display. nonetheless, it seems some cultures are taught to use direct eye contact or avoid it.

personally, i like it. i know someone is paying attention to me (and i them) when we're meeting eye-to-eye. in some cases it also makes judging the type of person they are much easier. it also makes telling the truth from lies a lot easier and noticing if someone really does know what they are talking about or if they aren't too sure... all from eye contact. the passing glances part... i dont have a preference but it often feels nice to give a smile to someone. some will return it with the same gusto but more often than not, it's a wary sort of smile like they aren't sure if they should smile to a stranger or if they are in danger or something but it isn't the most comforting.

so ED, what are your thoughts and feelings on eye contact? here's a quick list:

1) Does eye contact bother you?
2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?
3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?
4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?

in american psychology avoiding eye contact is seen as a symptom of mental illness.

This is terribly vague. Yes, it's a symptom of autism and anxious disorders, but even a schizophrenic can maintain prolonged eye contact. The eye contact thing is more prevalent with social disorders.

[Elskeleton]

pinchot

ever since i was a kid, my father told me: "If you don't look a man in the eye, they will only tell you lies." from there i was under the impression if i spoke to anyone i was to look them in the eye, even if they didn't look back. if i were walking down the street i was to look a man or woman in the eye if they caught mine and give them a down-right-honest smile. that was what everyone in town did after all.

as i've grown older, and moved out of Podunkville, i've noticed there are mixed feelings on this. in fact, i've had some people inform me that looking someone in the eye can be considered rude or flirtatious. in most species beyond humans (aren't we always the oddballs?) direct eye contact is a very threatening display. nonetheless, it seems some cultures are taught to use direct eye contact or avoid it.

personally, i like it. i know someone is paying attention to me (and i them) when we're meeting eye-to-eye. in some cases it also makes judging the type of person they are much easier. it also makes telling the truth from lies a lot easier and noticing if someone really does know what they are talking about or if they aren't too sure... all from eye contact. the passing glances part... i dont have a preference but it often feels nice to give a smile to someone. some will return it with the same gusto but more often than not, it's a wary sort of smile like they aren't sure if they should smile to a stranger or if they are in danger or something but it isn't the most comforting.

so ED, what are your thoughts and feelings on eye contact? here's a quick list:

1) Does eye contact bother you?
2) What do you assume of those that do or do not make eye contact with you?
3) Was eye contact encouraged or discouraged when you were younger?
4) If you were walking down the street and caught eyes with a stranger who nodded and smiled to you, would that seem uncomfortable or reassuring?

I think that's really good for you! :] You can be observant of people and situations because you are not shy of looking to anything.
I have met a lot of people who I feel enjoys eye contact actually. I feel like they do think I'm paying attention more and that they trust me more because of it.
BUT I personally have difficulty with eye contact.

(1) It doesn't bother me until I become consciously and painfully aware of it. And I observe the way the eyeballs are moving and everything. To which case, I strain my eyes on something else.
It also makes situations (especially with very close friends) awkward for some reasons. I make eye contact to people I'm not very close with though.

(2) I don't mind whether or not they do as long as I'm not terribly close with them lol

(3) it was never addressed or talked about

(4) No, it would be different and pleasant. That rarely happens to anybody and I imagine it can make someone's day. Unless it's someone you vaguely know and are sort of awkward with and you failed to greet back because you are too close and it's too late do or say anything in response. yep.

[Salmonberry Bird]

I LOVE TO LOOK AT PEOPLE IN THEIR EYES

Maybe then they'll give me their delicious salmonberries, the divinest of all berries blaugh

Like mind control! blaugh

[pinchot]

Salmonberry Bird

I LOVE TO LOOK AT PEOPLE IN THEIR EYES

Maybe then they'll give me their delicious salmonberries, the divinest of all berries blaugh

Like mind control! blaugh

oh man, just to tell you, your name and icon confused me for a bit. i was like: "that looks like a swainson's thrush wtf is a salmonberry bird?" lo and behold they are the same thing. wonderful bird choice. thrushes have some of the most amazing songs i've ever heard, particularly the varied thrush. they sound pretty spooky when you're alone in the woods.

[Salmonberry Bird]

pinchot

Salmonberry Bird

I LOVE TO LOOK AT PEOPLE IN THEIR EYES

Maybe then they'll give me their delicious salmonberries, the divinest of all berries blaugh

Like mind control! blaugh

oh man, just to tell you, your name and icon confused me for a bit. i was like: "that looks like a swainson's thrush wtf is a salmonberry bird?" lo and behold they are the same thing. wonderful bird choice. thrushes have some of the most amazing songs i've ever heard, particularly the varied thrush. they sound pretty spooky when you're alone in the woods.

We are trying to spook you! It's so you don't steal our precious SAlmonbarriers!