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The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Emotional repression tends to cause difficulty with understanding others.

Inability to convey feeling through language is just another manifestation of emotional repression. It's hard to describe what you don't understand, and it's hard to understand something if you actively or passively avoid it.


How is it repressive? Words may not convey how one feels in any meaningful way. A guy could wax on for hours trying to explain the intense feelings he may have for a girl, or he could simply hold her in his arms and show it. Emotions are pretty irrational and hard to understand, is communication solely verbal?
Men aren't expected to express emotion. Such repression makes it difficult for someone to accurately convey what they mean in words or action. For instance, someone can't accurately convey love without having experienced it first, and if someone's emotionally repressive, that could make it harder for them to express it.


Maybe you and I have different concepts of communication and emotion? confused

Maybe its that society, or a lot of people, unfairly privilege verbal expression of emotion over others. One could express love all sorts of ways that don't involve words, frequently words don't do ones emotions justice. It need not solely be expressed in words, but in actions. Sex for example, could be an act that involves no spoken words, however it can convey all of ones emotions and passions towards the other person.

Perhaps the key stepping stone to an acceptance of verbal expression as a viable option is some word changes. Men are not sensitive, they are passionate. Men, obviously don't want to be weak and frail. None of those traits are particularly inviting to me or to many women at all. Passion on the other hand is alluring, sexy, intense, strong, all of the traits that entice. emotion_dowant It isn't what your asking, but how your asking it. "Be more sensitive guys!" sounds like a whining plea to be a weak, fragile piece of s**t. That isn't an endearing or attractive option. The idea of verbal expression can be part of passion. So can empathy, it's the "fuel of the fire!" so to speak. Also though, we have to recognize that not all emotional expression and empathy will come in words. A man may not cry, but he may hold you for comfort. Sex is also a form of emotional expression, so is art, making someone a meal, or just simply embracing your lover. I've found men are very emotionally expressive, even without words. But unfortunately the society police have decided verbal expression is the only valid expression and since men tend not to do that, they are heartless jerks. Women, well we talk a lot. Language is even stronger in women then in men do to brain development and stuff. So your just privileging the feminine form of emotional expression as the only valid one.
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
Firebird v3
Another part of where I can actually choke up, is when Nina and her dog are killed by scar in FMA. I hold it in, though; silent crying.

Every time I tell a woman that I'm a sensitive guy, they go "aaaawwww."
Now it should be noted that women value sensitive men in long-term relationships. But my question is this:

If women value sensitive men in long-term relationships; why do they not value us in the short-term? For example, studies have shown that women want a masculine man for short-term relationships. Such as the facial structure, scaring, and facial hair are factors in short-term dating. But I say that sensitive men should take the initiative to be compatible for both short and long-term relationships. And women should take notice.


First of all, that part of FMA was sad as ********] Last week, me and two of the bros sat around, watching that s**t on repeat, crying. You're not alone.

Anyway, honestly, being sensitive, as in emotionally affected by your surroundings, aka compassionate is attractive. Getting easily butthurt is not. In anyone.
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Emotional repression tends to cause difficulty with understanding others.

Inability to convey feeling through language is just another manifestation of emotional repression. It's hard to describe what you don't understand, and it's hard to understand something if you actively or passively avoid it.


How is it repressive? Words may not convey how one feels in any meaningful way. A guy could wax on for hours trying to explain the intense feelings he may have for a girl, or he could simply hold her in his arms and show it. Emotions are pretty irrational and hard to understand, is communication solely verbal?
Men aren't expected to express emotion. Such repression makes it difficult for someone to accurately convey what they mean in words or action. For instance, someone can't accurately convey love without having experienced it first, and if someone's emotionally repressive, that could make it harder for them to express it.


Maybe you and I have different concepts of communication and emotion? confused

Maybe its that society, or a lot of people, unfairly privilege verbal expression of emotion over others. One could express love all sorts of ways that don't involve words, frequently words don't do ones emotions justice. It need not solely be expressed in words, but in actions. Sex for example, could be an act that involves no spoken words, however it can convey all of ones emotions and passions towards the other person.

Perhaps the key stepping stone to an acceptance of verbal expression as a viable option is some word changes. Men are not sensitive, they are passionate. Men, obviously don't want to be weak and frail. None of those traits are particularly inviting to me or to many women at all. Passion on the other hand is alluring, sexy, intense, strong, all of the traits that entice. emotion_dowant It isn't what your asking, but how your asking it. "Be more sensitive guys!" sounds like a whining plea to be a weak, fragile piece of s**t. That isn't an endearing or attractive option. The idea of verbal expression can be part of passion. So can empathy, it's the "fuel of the fire!" so to speak. Also though, we have to recognize that not all emotional expression and empathy will come in words. A man may not cry, but he may hold you for comfort. Sex is also a form of emotional expression, so is art, making someone a meal, or just simply embracing your lover. I've found men are very emotionally expressive, even without words. But unfortunately the society police have decided verbal expression is the only valid expression and since men tend not to do that, they are heartless jerks. Women, well we talk a lot. Language is even stronger in women then in men do to brain development and stuff. So your just privileging the feminine form of emotional expression as the only valid one.
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?
Firebird v3
If women value sensitive men in long-term relationships; why do they not value us in the short-term? For example, studies have shown that women want a masculine man for short-term relationships. Such as the facial structure, scaring, and facial hair are factors in short-term dating. But I say that sensitive men should take the initiative to be compatible for both short and long-term relationships. And women should take notice.


Okay, advice, never call yourself sensitive. Honestly its not even a pleasant sounding word. Lets break it down,

sen·si·tive

First the word sounds odd, cacophonous even. Sen Si Tive, the sudden T sound in the middle of word is harsh and discorded with the S' sounds elsewhere in the word. Also the word is synonymous with weakness, susceptibility, delicate, frail. Something that is frail requires endless protection and doesn't last, something that is weak will not be reliable, something that is delicate can not withstand the difficulty of life and something that is susceptible has no will of its own.

The very word sensitive is wholly negative and just not something you should use. Sensitive is an insult, they are attacking you as a person. Elsewhere I've said the word Passion a lot, because it is a better word.

Passion is sexy, the very word is sexy. pas·sion [pash-uhn], it is short and euphonious, its pleasing to the ear. The very word is synonymous with intense feeling, emotion, sex. Unlike "Sensitive," it carries no negative connotation of weakness, susceptibility or frailty. Women like passion, women don't like sensitive.

So guys, that is my bit of advice, change your marketing strategy. 3nodding
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Men aren't expected to express emotion. Such repression makes it difficult for someone to accurately convey what they mean in words or action. For instance, someone can't accurately convey love without having experienced it first, and if someone's emotionally repressive, that could make it harder for them to express it.


Maybe you and I have different concepts of communication and emotion? confused

Maybe its that society, or a lot of people, unfairly privilege verbal expression of emotion over others. One could express love all sorts of ways that don't involve words, frequently words don't do ones emotions justice. It need not solely be expressed in words, but in actions. Sex for example, could be an act that involves no spoken words, however it can convey all of ones emotions and passions towards the other person.

Perhaps the key stepping stone to an acceptance of verbal expression as a viable option is some word changes. Men are not sensitive, they are passionate. Men, obviously don't want to be weak and frail. None of those traits are particularly inviting to me or to many women at all. Passion on the other hand is alluring, sexy, intense, strong, all of the traits that entice. emotion_dowant It isn't what your asking, but how your asking it. "Be more sensitive guys!" sounds like a whining plea to be a weak, fragile piece of s**t. That isn't an endearing or attractive option. The idea of verbal expression can be part of passion. So can empathy, it's the "fuel of the fire!" so to speak. Also though, we have to recognize that not all emotional expression and empathy will come in words. A man may not cry, but he may hold you for comfort. Sex is also a form of emotional expression, so is art, making someone a meal, or just simply embracing your lover. I've found men are very emotionally expressive, even without words. But unfortunately the society police have decided verbal expression is the only valid expression and since men tend not to do that, they are heartless jerks. Women, well we talk a lot. Language is even stronger in women then in men do to brain development and stuff. So your just privileging the feminine form of emotional expression as the only valid one.
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Men aren't expected to express emotion. Such repression makes it difficult for someone to accurately convey what they mean in words or action. For instance, someone can't accurately convey love without having experienced it first, and if someone's emotionally repressive, that could make it harder for them to express it.


Maybe you and I have different concepts of communication and emotion? confused

Maybe its that society, or a lot of people, unfairly privilege verbal expression of emotion over others. One could express love all sorts of ways that don't involve words, frequently words don't do ones emotions justice. It need not solely be expressed in words, but in actions. Sex for example, could be an act that involves no spoken words, however it can convey all of ones emotions and passions towards the other person.

Perhaps the key stepping stone to an acceptance of verbal expression as a viable option is some word changes. Men are not sensitive, they are passionate. Men, obviously don't want to be weak and frail. None of those traits are particularly inviting to me or to many women at all. Passion on the other hand is alluring, sexy, intense, strong, all of the traits that entice. emotion_dowant It isn't what your asking, but how your asking it. "Be more sensitive guys!" sounds like a whining plea to be a weak, fragile piece of s**t. That isn't an endearing or attractive option. The idea of verbal expression can be part of passion. So can empathy, it's the "fuel of the fire!" so to speak. Also though, we have to recognize that not all emotional expression and empathy will come in words. A man may not cry, but he may hold you for comfort. Sex is also a form of emotional expression, so is art, making someone a meal, or just simply embracing your lover. I've found men are very emotionally expressive, even without words. But unfortunately the society police have decided verbal expression is the only valid expression and since men tend not to do that, they are heartless jerks. Women, well we talk a lot. Language is even stronger in women then in men do to brain development and stuff. So your just privileging the feminine form of emotional expression as the only valid one.
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Expression of an emotion can be hard if you don't exactly know how emotions can be expressed. Men are expected to repress emotions. Emotional repression causes problems with knowing how to understand or express emotion.
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Expression of an emotion can be hard if you don't exactly know how emotions can be expressed. Men are expected to repress emotions. Emotional repression causes problems with knowing how to understand or express emotion.


i disagree. In my experience, men repress verbal emotion but are very expressive with body language, actions and textual expression.

Men know how to express emotions, society has merely refused to define those methods as valid.
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
I'm referring to every manner of emotional expression. Not just verbal. People in general, but men especially, don't know how to express love effectively in any shape, form, or fashion.


Perhaps that is your experience, it is not however my experience.
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Expression of an emotion can be hard if you don't exactly know how emotions can be expressed. Men are expected to repress emotions. Emotional repression causes problems with knowing how to understand or express emotion.


i disagree. In my experience, men repress verbal emotion but are very expressive with body language, actions and textual expression.

Men know how to express emotions, society has merely refused to define those methods as valid.
I should note that men aren't expected to repress all emotion. Just those involving sympathy or understanding.

And no, I'm not saying that this is how it pans out or generally pans out or what-have-you. Just the consequences of such a system.
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Expression of an emotion can be hard if you don't exactly know how emotions can be expressed. Men are expected to repress emotions. Emotional repression causes problems with knowing how to understand or express emotion.


i disagree. In my experience, men repress verbal emotion but are very expressive with body language, actions and textual expression.

Men know how to express emotions, society has merely refused to define those methods as valid.
I should note that men aren't expected to repress all emotion. Just those involving sympathy or understanding.

And no, I'm not saying that this is how it pans out or generally pans out or what-have-you. Just the consequences of such a system.


Who told you that? Maybe that is your experience but it has never been mine. A man understands pain, stress, frustration or what have you.
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
If you've never seen the sky, but you've read about it, would you say that someone who has seen it would be better at describing it than you?


Now I am not sure what your really talking about.
Expression of an emotion can be hard if you don't exactly know how emotions can be expressed. Men are expected to repress emotions. Emotional repression causes problems with knowing how to understand or express emotion.


i disagree. In my experience, men repress verbal emotion but are very expressive with body language, actions and textual expression.

Men know how to express emotions, society has merely refused to define those methods as valid.
I should note that men aren't expected to repress all emotion. Just those involving sympathy or understanding.

And no, I'm not saying that this is how it pans out or generally pans out or what-have-you. Just the consequences of such a system.


Who told you that? Maybe that is your experience but it has never been mine. A man understands pain, stress, frustration or what have you.
Men understand physical pain. Emotional pain is somewhat different, since that is repressed. If someone represses all of their emotional pain and never comes to terms with it, they're much more likely to wonder as to why another person is being bogged down by emotional pain. Hard to understand when they're having problems you don't believe you do.

Think of bullying; two people are bullied, but one represses the emotions. They're not likely to be able to sympathize with the person who gets depressed about it. They'll possibly react negatively, since they were bullied, too, but manage just fine or some such.
Firebird v3
So I stayed up all night because I had to do a term paper, and after that I played ME3 for the remainder until now. I've noticed that Mass Effect pulls you in emotionally. For example, if you had Mordin sing in ME2, he will sing when he's curing the genophage and then he dies from an explosion. Also, another scene is where you find a Rachni Queen and free her and sacrifice a whole Krogan platoon. This is a very emotional scene because the Krogan commander goes out in a blaze of glory with emotional music being played. Another emotional scene is when the new primarch's son sacrifices himself to destroy the bomb on Tutchanka. In all of these scenes, I became sad, and sometimes teared up, but never cried.

Now, this is where I have actually cried. In the first Pokemon movie, when Ash turned to stone, I started crying, and after the movie, the people who invited me to the movie made fun of me for crying. I was just a little kid. Another part of where I can actually choke up, is when Nina and her dog are killed by scar in FMA. I hold it in, though; silent crying.

Every time I tell a woman that I'm a sensitive guy, they go "aaaawwww."
Now it should be noted that women value sensitive men in long-term relationships. But my question is this:

If women value sensitive men in long-term relationships; why do they not value us in the short-term? For example, studies have shown that women want a masculine man for short-term relationships. Such as the facial structure, scaring, and facial hair are factors in short-term dating. But I say that sensitive men should take the initiative to be compatible for both short and long-term relationships. And women should take notice.


SHort term relationships are based on sexual compatibility, not on emotional stability. If I want to have a fling with someone I need them to be insensitive so when it ends neither of us are left in a heap and we both have positive and scandalous stories to tell our friends. If I want a partner I need someone who can handle my emotional issues without letting it ruin our romantic life. The simple fact is the desires are different because the goals of short and long term relationships are different.
The Living Force
Men understand physical pain. Emotional pain is somewhat different, since that is repressed. If someone represses all of their emotional pain and never comes to terms with it, they're much more likely to wonder as to why another person is being bogged down by emotional pain. Hard to understand when they're having problems you don't believe you do.

Think of bullying; two people are bullied, but one represses the emotions. They're not likely to be able to sympathize with the person who gets depressed about it. They'll possibly react negatively, since they were bullied, too, but manage just fine or some such.


Okay, I have to stop you right there. Men understand emotional pain plenty. However because society has come to the conclusion that only verbalized emotional expression counts, men are left awkwardly searching for the socially acceptable means of communicating empathy. Men grasp empathy, they grasp it extremely well. Since we define talking as the only valid means of emotional expression, we leave the non-talkers in the cold and shun and ostracize them as frigid jerks. When in reality they are likely a raging furnace of passion. heart

As for the bullying example, simply one is taking a more pro-active measure against the bully. In a sense the one not being depressed is at least doing something, that does not imply they lack pain or anguish over their situation but are not going to collapse into a heap of mush over it. If someone picks on them, I channel my anguish and suffering in defeating my attacker, not falling over into a pit of hopeless despair. However, why is the passive person seeping into his shadowy pit of depression so much more "emotionally expressive," then the person who is not being depressed? Perhaps the other person is simply adaptive, and channeling his or her emotions into rising above and defeating this "opponent?"

Again, it just seems your privileging certain forms of emotional expression over others. Emotions seem to have to be passive experiences only. I hotly and passionately disagree with that notion.
Jessi Danger
The Living Force
Men understand physical pain. Emotional pain is somewhat different, since that is repressed. If someone represses all of their emotional pain and never comes to terms with it, they're much more likely to wonder as to why another person is being bogged down by emotional pain. Hard to understand when they're having problems you don't believe you do.

Think of bullying; two people are bullied, but one represses the emotions. They're not likely to be able to sympathize with the person who gets depressed about it. They'll possibly react negatively, since they were bullied, too, but manage just fine or some such.


Okay, I have to stop you right there. Men understand emotional pain plenty. However because society has come to the conclusion that only verbalized emotional expression counts, men are left awkwardly searching for the socially acceptable means of communicating empathy. Men grasp empathy, they grasp it extremely well. Since we define talking as the only valid means of emotional expression, we leave the non-talkers in the cold and shun and ostracize them as frigid jerks. When in reality they are likely a raging furnace of passion. heart

As for the bullying example, simply one is taking a more pro-active measure against the bully. In a sense the one not being depressed is at least doing something, that does not imply they lack pain or anguish over their situation but are not going to collapse into a heap of mush over it. If someone picks on them, I channel my anguish and suffering in defeating my attacker, not falling over into a pit of hopeless despair. However, why is the passive person seeping into his shadowy pit of depression so much more "emotionally expressive," then the person who is not being depressed? Perhaps the other person is simply adaptive, and channeling his or her emotions into rising above and defeating this "opponent?"

Again, it just seems your privileging certain forms of emotional expression over others. Emotions seem to have to be passive experiences only. I hotly and passionately disagree with that notion.
Of course they understand it, but they don't understand how to deal with it because they repress it. If they learn to manage it wrong, they'll not be able to empathize with people having trouble managing it.
[callister]'s avatar

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I am dating a man that is very manly in appearance and is a Marine. He is also a sensitive guy, and we plan on staying together and getting married. It just depends on the woman. I don't determine short-term with how manly or un-manly a guy looks, but rather how he treats women, how he carries himself, how he conducts his life, and if he loves me.
It really depends. Sensitivity can be good as it often instills the person with empathy and a guy who is sensitive can be seen as more considerate than others. But at the same time, girls are genetically predisposed to be sensitive (not all the time, but thanks to estrogen we can be). So for 2 sensitive people in a relationship... it could lead to a lot of conflict. Sensitivity can come out as aggression too. All but one of the guys I've dated have been sensitive.

The first one was just a big baby... would get upset over everything. If I could do anything better than he could, he'd start acting emo despite his own merits. The second was sensitive and wore his emotions on his sleeve but put up a tough front and also had a lot of pride, so we'd end up fighting a lot. My current boyfriend is just a little sensitive a time, but mostly to specific things. He doesn't like it when I call him creepy or things like that, even if I'm joking (but I think all guys have things they don't like to be called... no matter what). When I'm getting a little 'tudey with him over something (like when he procrastinates on something), he'll claim I'm yelling at him and ask me to calm down and be nicer to him because it upsets him when I yell at him. I don't yell lol.

Also there's the stereotypes--- Sensitive guys are assumed to be wusses. They have no back bone, confidence, etc. And a lot of girls want a man with confidence and tough exterior who can be their knight in shining armor when the moment comes. Lets say there is a creepy guy pestering a girl, and she goes to her boyfriend for help. Most girls (even I) don't want their boyfriend to shrug it off like "Meh" or give in and suggest that they leave or relocate themselves to avoid the guy in order to avoid conflict. I'd want my boyfriend to maybe inquire about it, ask if the guy has been persisting, what he said, what he did. And then if it sounds like the guys being an asshat, go up to him and simply tell him to knock it off.

It may come off as a bit sleazy, but a lot of girls like that, to see that their guy is willing to stand up to a complete stranger in order to make sure she is happy and safe.

When a girl says "I want a bad boy" it doesn't mean she wants some hardened criminal who'll beat her. Or when she says she wants a sensitive guy, it doesn't mean she wants this. Basically, a nice way to put it is a lot of girls want a well rounded guy. A guy who can share romantic and intimate moments with her, have fun and joke with her, take things seriously when the time comes, and if the moment arises, be tough and protective. And most importantly, they have to have confidence in themselves. All of the amazing husbands I've seen have been all of the above.

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