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Post: 44677061_31 created on Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:10 pmPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:10 pm
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Golden Shirohana This may only be true in my own case, but...there's also a deep fear of getting better. It's a difficult thing to grasp, being alone in your own head when you've become so comfortable with not being alone. I honestly don't remember anything before hearing voices in my head; my first memory starts at nine years old, then it black out until I'm ten years old. From there on, memories are very scattered, but I still recall having the comfort of other presences to rely on. ...Which now makes me wonder that, if this is DID, am I my true personality? It's a comfort issue that makes it difficult to want to get better, unusually enough. But that reluctance could also be from a lack of belief in DID; I still have a lot of trouble thinking this is much more than my imagination at work. I don't want to kill my imagination - it really is my only outlet, helping me write and partake in other creativity-based hobbies. The chance on you having been aware of their presence if you're the host are pretty slim. The host is typically completely unaware. To the point where in some systems, one of the alters actually thinks they're the host until the host comes back. |
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