Cybering. The intelligent discussion.

[Nekoyuusha]

Adair-Nicca

Wonderfully typed. I always thought of cybering as a horrible thing, or, something only desperate people did, which was half true...anyway, thank you for this bit of information...thought I still think it's slightly wrong to do... stare

But WHY is it wrong?

[Nekoyuusha]

i.am.a.penguin

Adair-Nicca

Wonderfully typed. I always thought of cybering as a horrible thing, or, something only desperate people did, which was half true...anyway, thank you for this bit of information...thought I still think it's slightly wrong to do... stare

Same with me. I thought it was wrong and kind of gross (and I still kind of do), but I never really thought of it where the people are in love, but live far apart. Its just never been a reason thats come up.

It's gross? How is it gross? Please tell me how words on a screen can be GROSS =/
It's basically just interactive porn, or a kind of sex, depending on the intention of the individuals. Neither of those two things are in any way wrong.

[Shixam]

Nekoyuusha

i.am.a.penguin

Adair-Nicca

Wonderfully typed. I always thought of cybering as a horrible thing, or, something only desperate people did, which was half true...anyway, thank you for this bit of information...thought I still think it's slightly wrong to do... stare

Same with me. I thought it was wrong and kind of gross (and I still kind of do), but I never really thought of it where the people are in love, but live far apart. Its just never been a reason thats come up.

It's gross? How is it gross? Please tell me how words on a screen can be GROSS =/
It's basically just interactive porn, or a kind of sex, depending on the intention of the individuals. Neither of those two things are in any way wrong.

I'm sorry, its just that from my point of view there is something about it just doesn't feel right.

[Nekoyuusha]

i.am.a.penguin

Nekoyuusha

i.am.a.penguin

Adair-Nicca

Wonderfully typed. I always thought of cybering as a horrible thing, or, something only desperate people did, which was half true...anyway, thank you for this bit of information...thought I still think it's slightly wrong to do... stare

Same with me. I thought it was wrong and kind of gross (and I still kind of do), but I never really thought of it where the people are in love, but live far apart. Its just never been a reason thats come up.

It's gross? How is it gross? Please tell me how words on a screen can be GROSS =/
It's basically just interactive porn, or a kind of sex, depending on the intention of the individuals. Neither of those two things are in any way wrong.

I'm sorry, its just that from my point of view there is something about it just doesn't feel right.

That doesn't really hold in the ED. You need some REAL reasons for your opinions, something to back it up with.

[YoshiKaji]

My husband and I cyber every now and then, and just as long as it's just between the two of us, I find nothing wrong with it(He's doing a tour of duty over in Iraq right now, he's been gone since October of last year). Now when other people start coming into play, that's when there's going to be a big problem.

[Valaquesse]

I can't beleive someone made a serious thread on the topic eek
Cool!!!

There's nothing wrong with cybering although people should be careful and reamain annonymous (unless they know each other, other than online).
Its quite amusing and is a good laugh, especially if you try and creep out whoever you're with.... ^_^

[Angelic M Plus]

"Thank you everyone for the positive replies, however I'm looking for some more input then just "great thread". Now here is my input on some of the things said."

Penn Almasy

Yes, thank you. Cybering isn't all about pixel sex. It IS a type of RP, albeit being sexual. But if you're discreet about it, then no one else has to know.

"I don't ever feel it's about pixels either, unless your avatar on whatever area of the net, if one is provided, is what you are while you cyber. This can go into affect saying that if you cyber on Gaia, not that you should, then your avatar is most likely the thing the other person is going to go along with. Most Cybering is done without visuals until a person gives a description."

Tyn_Dawn

ydoubother

a lot of people cant really help it, personally i blame the parents for not sitting down and telling them to get self control.

You can't always blame the parents. Children have their own sense of right and wrong, they're making the choice to do it, so it's their own fault, simple as that.

"This is all true. I started using the net at 13, and shortly afterwards I begun to cyber. My father didn't think it well for me to look at porn and such then, so this was my way of releasing what sexual tension I had."

A broken hearted idiot

I also believe that people cyber for human interaction, but I think theres more then that.

People often have online sexual relations because they feel that they don't have to be themselves for a while. Much in the same way as people who like to RP on Gaia. Its an escape from the harsh reality that most people who cyber are: lonely, unattractive, have a lower self-esteem, have closet homosexual or lesbian desires (a large portion of people who cyber pretend to be the opposite sex), or have any other type of social dysfunction.

In short people who cyber often do it to make up for a lack of social interaction in the 'real' world.

"This is where my part about role play comes into effect. People are able to be something they feel comfortable with. And I cannot say that people who cyber are lonely, unattractive etc... but that they just feel comfortable with their own setting and surroundings."

i.am.a.penguin

Adair-Nicca

Wonderfully typed. I always thought of cybering as a horrible thing, or, something only desperate people did, which was half true...anyway, thank you for this bit of information...thought I still think it's slightly wrong to do... stare

Same with me. I thought it was wrong and kind of gross (and I still kind of do), but I never really thought of it where the people are in love, but live far apart. Its just never been a reason thats come up.

"I don't understand how it is "wrong", unless some religion believes that even textual based erotica is bad. I can understand it not being something you'd care to do, but 'wrong' is a poor choice of words."

[Angelic M Plus]

Xetalia

ydoubother

a lot of people cant really help it, personally i blame the parents for not sitting down and telling them to get self control.

My parents don't know about what I've done on Gaia via PM. Let me tell you a story:

Ever since I was a child, I've had this little dark corner in my mind. Every time I saw someone being tied up, whether it be Wendy in Peter Pan or some other kids show, I...enjoyed watching it. I was always puzzled by this strange feeling I got from it. I instinctively knew that it wasn't normal, so I never told anyone about it.

Then I got older, got my own computer, and discovered bondage. Apart from reading up on the items involved, I read up on the reasons for it. I discovered that bondage, without a doubt, isn't for everyone. You have to have a certain type of mind, the right kind of wiring, to find it attractive.

Reflecting back, I realize that one is just born with these fetishes. And I say if cybering helps fill a gap in your life or discover something about your own wiring like I did, I say explore. Just make sure to keep it from those who would react adversely. The reactions of others messes with your emotions, and thus your opinion about cybering and yourself overall.

3nodding "And so a discussion evolves from your post. What is the boundaries of your fetish with bondage? What other fetishes have you come aware of that you like? Has cybering, if you've been involved in some, allowed you learn more about those fetishes?"

[Angelic M Plus]

ez-er

I can't beleive someone made a serious thread on the topic eek
Cool!!!

There's nothing wrong with cybering although people should be careful and reamain annonymous (unless they know each other, other than online).
Its quite amusing and is a good laugh, especially if you try and creep out whoever you're with.... ^_^

"I rather enjoy cybering with people I get to know over a short period of time. Sometimes I'm able to learn more about a person that way."

[Nisha_bob42]

Why do they cyber? Who knows...it could be boredom...or they have no lives or real sexual encounters...or any obvious other reason.

[Angelic M Plus]

Nisha_bob42

Why do they cyber? Who knows...it could be boredom...or they have no lives or real sexual encounters...or any obvious other reason.

"How does one survive in the ED by making a blunt line such as "they have no lives" part of their argument? Perhaps 'you' don't have a life if you cannot accept a world full of different people, with different needs and ideas?"

[Xetalia]

Angelic M ~Returns~

Xetalia

ydoubother

a lot of people cant really help it, personally i blame the parents for not sitting down and telling them to get self control.

My parents don't know about what I've done on Gaia via PM. Let me tell you a story:

Ever since I was a child, I've had this little dark corner in my mind. Every time I saw someone being tied up, whether it be Wendy in Peter Pan or some other kids show, I...enjoyed watching it. I was always puzzled by this strange feeling I got from it. I instinctively knew that it wasn't normal, so I never told anyone about it.

Then I got older, got my own computer, and discovered bondage. Apart from reading up on the items involved, I read up on the reasons for it. I discovered that bondage, without a doubt, isn't for everyone. You have to have a certain type of mind, the right kind of wiring, to find it attractive.

Reflecting back, I realize that one is just born with these fetishes. And I say if cybering helps fill a gap in your life or discover something about your own wiring like I did, I say explore. Just make sure to keep it from those who would react adversely. The reactions of others messes with your emotions, and thus your opinion about cybering and yourself overall.

3nodding "And so a discussion evolves from your post. What is the boundaries of your fetish with bondage? What other fetishes have you come aware of that you like? Has cybering, if you've been involved in some, allowed you learn more about those fetishes?"

I'll try not to be too graphic here, for the sake of the rules, heh.

It helped me learn how bondage can assist in sex, and what I might seek in future real relationships in regards to intimacy. It also helped me experience things that I would never be able to do in real life, such as role playing a rape. Cybering really extends the boundaries for playing the field and learning what you like, from my experience. And all with the anonymousy (sp?) of the Internet and the flexibility and safety of not being in a real relationship or situation.

[Angelic M Plus]

Xetalia

Angelic M ~Returns~

3nodding "And so a discussion evolves from your post. What is the boundaries of your fetish with bondage? What other fetishes have you come aware of that you like? Has cybering, if you've been involved in some, allowed you learn more about those fetishes?"

I'll try not to be too graphic here, for the sake of the rules, heh.

It helped me learn how bondage can assist in sex, and what I might seek in future real relationships in regards to intimacy. It also helped me experience things that I would never be able to do in real life, such as role playing a rape. Cybering really extends the boundaries for playing the field and learning what you like, from my experience. And all with the anonymousy (sp?) of the Internet and the flexibility and safety of not being in a real relationship or situation.

"I understand completely, it was through cybering, and the internet, that I learned of my own fetishes. A small problem tho is that I'd like to experience some of them, including light bondage, some rough sex (including biting/scratching that would cause bleeding) and maybe some use of toys."

[The Love Fairy]

Maybe it feels good. But I think cybering is lame