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Do you believe TruMoo® Chocolate Milk is a conspiracy to inject our children with toxic mutagens to try and kill off the future generations of the populous? I would go further into the details, but I fear the government might seize my laptop if they knew I might have the evidence to expose them...

If you have anything to support this theory please don't be afraid to share it with me.
I will be comparing all given notes to my initial evidence. This could save your children!

Also, if you want to gift me Port Royale 3 on Steam, PM me telling me so...

After a long night of study I have concluded this may also affect females between the ages of 15 and 35. I will conduct an experiment over a 3-year period to see if the fertility rate in females who drink TruMoo will drop. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it! My subjects will be between the ages of 20 and 35.

I will also require women from different ethnic groups with no past health issues, STD's, or any children already, for accurate results. I shall continue studying TruMoo with non-personal tests on the male subjects.

I will also go out of the way to ask for donations...
Now wait! before you get angry at me for requesting money let me fill you in on what your donation will be going towards! which includes but is not limited to:

Carnival Cruise Lines
Six Flags AstroWorld and Seaworld
Skydive Hawaii
Shanghai Grand Hyatt Hotel
McDonald's
and many more!
I love this troll thread! rofl
Mrtyu-Mara's avatar

Dapper Informer

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I blame the Illuminati.
Princess Creampie
I love this troll thread! rofl


I thought it was nice. c:
little_boy_luke's avatar

Original Genius

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If anyting, dose hormones dey putted in cows woulda makes girls getted fertile more earlier. confused
marshmallowcreampie's avatar

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If you want to come up with a crazy conspiracy, that's fine, but you need to figure out a MOTIVE for True Moo to want to do this. What could they possibly have to gain by killing off future generations? Are they actually run by someone else using the chocolate milk as a cover? And why only the people who buy their chocolate milk? Even if they succeed in taking out our future generation, there will still be people in other countries who don't have access. Every good conspiracy theory has a reason, a motive.
I am sure Pocky has loads of proof for you. rolleyes Wonder how the mole men will figure in to this one...
Bundle of Funyuns's avatar

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This isn't exactly comedy gold, but I got a good giggle out of it.

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