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bobloon
What ever happened to young women(late teens to early 20's) wanting to go out into the world to find themselves, experience the beautiful opportunities that are available, and not be tied down instead of staying at home raising babies? And to me personally, anyone who thinks they can do both is wrong because that child doesn't deserve to share you with anything else. Once you become a mother, your focus should be solely on the development of that kid.
MOTHERHOOD: ONCE YOU START, YOU ARE NO LONGER AN ACTUAL PERSON. YOU EXIST SOLELY FOR YOUR CHILD.

Fathers, on the other hand, they always get to do what they want, child or no.
Mika Talanis
bobloon
What ever happened to young women(late teens to early 20's) wanting to go out into the world to find themselves, experience the beautiful opportunities that are available, and not be tied down instead of staying at home raising babies? And to me personally, anyone who thinks they can do both is wrong because that child doesn't deserve to share you with anything else. Once you become a mother, your focus should be solely on the development of that kid. All your selfishness must go out the window. Oh, and it would be beneficial to know who you are before you give yourself up to a baby. I wanna smoke cigarettes, stay up late, stare at the tv for hours, only have school to be stressed about, have a job to be able to buy whatever I want for myself and family and friends, decide to go out whenever I want, drink soda, eat food that's bad for me, travel with only a toothbrush, etc. To be noted: all the things that I mentioned that I want to do shouldn't lead you to think that being a parent does not equal not being able to do healthy things that you love. You shouldn't smoke when you have a child; you shouldn't drink soda when you have a child(because then you can't control them drinking soda), and the same for junk food; you can't stay up late for the heck of it because it'll only be hurting you; you can't travel with only your toothbrush when you have a child; having a job means money for your child, not for any silly thing for whomever else.... Now people are going to grumble about me stating the obvious, but oh well.



So.. you're selfish and have the nerve to say that a woman who wants both a career and family is selfish? Really? Wow. Just wow.
Women exist to be breeders. They need to recognize their place in the world. Once you have a baby, you should never leave that baby/child's side, ever. You should be with them 365 days a year for 18 years. Maybe longer. Your entire world must always revolve only around your children. You should never have outside hobbies. You should never leave the house without your child in tow. You shouldn't eat things you want to eat, because they might be bad for you and the child will automagically become deathly sick because you put processed food into your own body. You never get a night to yourself, because your child must be attached to your hip at all times.

If you do eventually get a job, you should never work overtime. You should only work the exact hours the child is in school. Ideally, you shouldn't work, though, because you should be homeschooling your kid. You can never again buy yourself anything nice, because your child should always be as spoiled as possible and any spare money goes towards them, never you.
Mika Talanis
seal pup tirade
catspook
What about fathers? Are they not allowed to have lives either?

Seriously, just because your child is your first priority does not mean they have to be your only priority - I've seen mothers who made their kids their whole lives; the kids didn't do so well.


not really possible to have any other priority if your first is a child

not any SERIOUS priority... that actually goes huge places, or means anything profound, or rewards you hugely in any way



Wait, so my mother, who raised four children and put herself through law school, didn't do anything meaningful with her life because her first priority was to her children?
Obviously, your mother didn't love you. rolleyes
Cherrytini
MisdreavusPrincess
bobloon
catspook
What about fathers? Are they not allowed to have lives either?

Seriously, just because your child is your first priority does not mean they have to be your only priority - I've seen mothers who made their kids their whole lives; the kids didn't do so well.


Fathers don't have an equal relationship with a child in the first year of that child's life. And I don't think that you should throw your whole identity as a person away when you become a parent. But I still see so many parents with selfish tendencies that effect their child's behavior.





User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.But fathers SHOULD have to give up just as much.
Also, this is why I don't want to have a child for a long time despite being married (I'm still in college!)

But one day when I do have kids, it will be when and only when a babysitter or nanny could be hired to change the diapers and do dirty work.
And no breastfeeding. I'm not letting my breasts get saggy or gross.

I'm not going to give up my entire life and things I like to do just because I have kids one day--me and my husband have talked about it on several occasions and we'll be lenient parents. Junk food? Soda? Sure, as long as our kid doesn't get fat in which case we'll explicitly tell them to cut back on eating.

We'll teach our kids respect but also allow them to be individuals; we're not gonna just use them as a molding toy as some parents do.User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.




That is so cute that you think breastfeeding makes women's breasts saggy and gross. Formula is a disgusting chemical processed food that makes babies sick and choosing to formula feed should be a very informed decision not an ignorant one. I breast feed and my tits are awesome, guess what? I also don't have a baby tied to me. I use a breast pump and bottle feed the baby it's as simple as that. Hormones in pregnancy cause breasts to sag, breast feeding tones them and also breast feeding mothers lose weight faster and easier than non breastfeeding mothers, it burns 500-800 calories a day just to produce breast milk. I hope to god you never have kids until you get educated about the proper nutrition and care a baby requires. You don't want to do any mothering work, you want to be a lazy selfish peice of crap mother by dumping your future kids off on a nanny and sticking chemically processed food in their mouths. Please, do not EVER have children.


I applaud you for that, you said it better than I could.
lumnata
Mika Talanis
bobloon
What ever happened to young women(late teens to early 20's) wanting to go out into the world to find themselves, experience the beautiful opportunities that are available, and not be tied down instead of staying at home raising babies? And to me personally, anyone who thinks they can do both is wrong because that child doesn't deserve to share you with anything else. Once you become a mother, your focus should be solely on the development of that kid. All your selfishness must go out the window. Oh, and it would be beneficial to know who you are before you give yourself up to a baby. I wanna smoke cigarettes, stay up late, stare at the tv for hours, only have school to be stressed about, have a job to be able to buy whatever I want for myself and family and friends, decide to go out whenever I want, drink soda, eat food that's bad for me, travel with only a toothbrush, etc. To be noted: all the things that I mentioned that I want to do shouldn't lead you to think that being a parent does not equal not being able to do healthy things that you love. You shouldn't smoke when you have a child; you shouldn't drink soda when you have a child(because then you can't control them drinking soda), and the same for junk food; you can't stay up late for the heck of it because it'll only be hurting you; you can't travel with only your toothbrush when you have a child; having a job means money for your child, not for any silly thing for whomever else.... Now people are going to grumble about me stating the obvious, but oh well.



So.. you're selfish and have the nerve to say that a woman who wants both a career and family is selfish? Really? Wow. Just wow.
Women exist to be breeders. They need to recognize their place in the world. Once you have a baby, you should never leave that baby/child's side, ever. You should be with them 365 days a year for 18 years. Maybe longer. Your entire world must always revolve only around your children. You should never have outside hobbies. You should never leave the house without your child in tow. You shouldn't eat things you want to eat, because they might be bad for you and the child will automagically become deathly sick because you put processed food into your own body. You never get a night to yourself, because your child must be attached to your hip at all times.

If you do eventually get a job, you should never work overtime. You should only work the exact hours the child is in school. Ideally, you shouldn't work, though, because you should be homeschooling your kid. You can never again buy yourself anything nice, because your child should always be as spoiled as possible and any spare money goes towards them, never you.



That is so dripping with sarcasm. At least I hope its sarcasm.
lumnata
Mika Talanis
seal pup tirade
catspook
What about fathers? Are they not allowed to have lives either?

Seriously, just because your child is your first priority does not mean they have to be your only priority - I've seen mothers who made their kids their whole lives; the kids didn't do so well.


not really possible to have any other priority if your first is a child

not any SERIOUS priority... that actually goes huge places, or means anything profound, or rewards you hugely in any way



Wait, so my mother, who raised four children and put herself through law school, didn't do anything meaningful with her life because her first priority was to her children?
Obviously, your mother didn't love you. rolleyes


ROFL Obviously. Where do people get these outlandish ideas?
Mika Talanis
lumnata
Mika Talanis
bobloon
What ever happened to young women(late teens to early 20's) wanting to go out into the world to find themselves, experience the beautiful opportunities that are available, and not be tied down instead of staying at home raising babies? And to me personally, anyone who thinks they can do both is wrong because that child doesn't deserve to share you with anything else. Once you become a mother, your focus should be solely on the development of that kid. All your selfishness must go out the window. Oh, and it would be beneficial to know who you are before you give yourself up to a baby. I wanna smoke cigarettes, stay up late, stare at the tv for hours, only have school to be stressed about, have a job to be able to buy whatever I want for myself and family and friends, decide to go out whenever I want, drink soda, eat food that's bad for me, travel with only a toothbrush, etc. To be noted: all the things that I mentioned that I want to do shouldn't lead you to think that being a parent does not equal not being able to do healthy things that you love. You shouldn't smoke when you have a child; you shouldn't drink soda when you have a child(because then you can't control them drinking soda), and the same for junk food; you can't stay up late for the heck of it because it'll only be hurting you; you can't travel with only your toothbrush when you have a child; having a job means money for your child, not for any silly thing for whomever else.... Now people are going to grumble about me stating the obvious, but oh well.



So.. you're selfish and have the nerve to say that a woman who wants both a career and family is selfish? Really? Wow. Just wow.
Women exist to be breeders. They need to recognize their place in the world. Once you have a baby, you should never leave that baby/child's side, ever. You should be with them 365 days a year for 18 years. Maybe longer. Your entire world must always revolve only around your children. You should never have outside hobbies. You should never leave the house without your child in tow. You shouldn't eat things you want to eat, because they might be bad for you and the child will automagically become deathly sick because you put processed food into your own body. You never get a night to yourself, because your child must be attached to your hip at all times.

If you do eventually get a job, you should never work overtime. You should only work the exact hours the child is in school. Ideally, you shouldn't work, though, because you should be homeschooling your kid. You can never again buy yourself anything nice, because your child should always be as spoiled as possible and any spare money goes towards them, never you.



That is so dripping with sarcasm. At least I hope its sarcasm.
From me, indeed it is. Very sadly, it seems as though there are actually people who believe this s**t.
Mika Talanis
lumnata
Mika Talanis
seal pup tirade
catspook
What about fathers? Are they not allowed to have lives either?

Seriously, just because your child is your first priority does not mean they have to be your only priority - I've seen mothers who made their kids their whole lives; the kids didn't do so well.


not really possible to have any other priority if your first is a child

not any SERIOUS priority... that actually goes huge places, or means anything profound, or rewards you hugely in any way



Wait, so my mother, who raised four children and put herself through law school, didn't do anything meaningful with her life because her first priority was to her children?
Obviously, your mother didn't love you. rolleyes


ROFL Obviously. Where do people get these outlandish ideas?
No clue, but I've long been growing weary of them. Actually, I do have a clue. It comes from patriarchal views that women exist to raise children and take care of the men. They should dedicate their lives to this, for it is their sole reason for existing.
Its because of those damned baby dolls that every 2-3 year old carries around with them. By the age of 15, they are so baby crazy that they just need real ones. Can't stop a girl from being brainwashed from day one. sad
lumnata
Mika Talanis
lumnata
Mika Talanis
bobloon
What ever happened to young women(late teens to early 20's) wanting to go out into the world to find themselves, experience the beautiful opportunities that are available, and not be tied down instead of staying at home raising babies? And to me personally, anyone who thinks they can do both is wrong because that child doesn't deserve to share you with anything else. Once you become a mother, your focus should be solely on the development of that kid. All your selfishness must go out the window. Oh, and it would be beneficial to know who you are before you give yourself up to a baby. I wanna smoke cigarettes, stay up late, stare at the tv for hours, only have school to be stressed about, have a job to be able to buy whatever I want for myself and family and friends, decide to go out whenever I want, drink soda, eat food that's bad for me, travel with only a toothbrush, etc. To be noted: all the things that I mentioned that I want to do shouldn't lead you to think that being a parent does not equal not being able to do healthy things that you love. You shouldn't smoke when you have a child; you shouldn't drink soda when you have a child(because then you can't control them drinking soda), and the same for junk food; you can't stay up late for the heck of it because it'll only be hurting you; you can't travel with only your toothbrush when you have a child; having a job means money for your child, not for any silly thing for whomever else.... Now people are going to grumble about me stating the obvious, but oh well.



So.. you're selfish and have the nerve to say that a woman who wants both a career and family is selfish? Really? Wow. Just wow.
Women exist to be breeders. They need to recognize their place in the world. Once you have a baby, you should never leave that baby/child's side, ever. You should be with them 365 days a year for 18 years. Maybe longer. Your entire world must always revolve only around your children. You should never have outside hobbies. You should never leave the house without your child in tow. You shouldn't eat things you want to eat, because they might be bad for you and the child will automagically become deathly sick because you put processed food into your own body. You never get a night to yourself, because your child must be attached to your hip at all times.

If you do eventually get a job, you should never work overtime. You should only work the exact hours the child is in school. Ideally, you shouldn't work, though, because you should be homeschooling your kid. You can never again buy yourself anything nice, because your child should always be as spoiled as possible and any spare money goes towards them, never you.



That is so dripping with sarcasm. At least I hope its sarcasm.
From me, indeed it is. Very sadly, it seems as though there are actually people who believe this s**t.



I know, that's why I said I hoped it was sarcasm. It is sad that there are people who think that way.
lumnata
Mika Talanis
lumnata
Mika Talanis
seal pup tirade
catspook
What about fathers? Are they not allowed to have lives either?

Seriously, just because your child is your first priority does not mean they have to be your only priority - I've seen mothers who made their kids their whole lives; the kids didn't do so well.


not really possible to have any other priority if your first is a child

not any SERIOUS priority... that actually goes huge places, or means anything profound, or rewards you hugely in any way



Wait, so my mother, who raised four children and put herself through law school, didn't do anything meaningful with her life because her first priority was to her children?
Obviously, your mother didn't love you. rolleyes


ROFL Obviously. Where do people get these outlandish ideas?
No clue, but I've long been growing weary of them. Actually, I do have a clue. It comes from patriarchal views that women exist to raise children and take care of the men. They should dedicate their lives to this, for it is their sole reason for existing.


That sounds about right.
Henry Hobo-Master
Its because of those damned baby dolls that every 2-3 year old carries around with them. By the age of 15, they are so baby crazy that they just need real ones. Can't stop a girl from being brainwashed from day one. sad


I guess its a good thing I never played with dolls then. wink
/Sips on wine

As a mother, turning twenty one actually on November fourth. I'm absolutely happy with my life and my age. My boyfriend is wonderful, I have an awesome career. I do stay up late doing homework for college, I have a glass of wine a night to relax, I have a 4.0, while I'm in college during the day she go's to a wonderful mothers day out program at my favorite church and she loves it. She is talking in full sentences before most her age, when I drop her off she's excited and when I pick her up she's just as happy to see me.
I don't see my goals as selfishness. Would I love to be home some nights. Yes, but I'm also an adult. I have responsibilities to her to set a good example for one and two take care of her. As a parent we teach many things including work ethic. When she is older, my daughter will be able to say I worked extremely hard as a single mother, she will follow that influence. She's happy, healthy and she turns two in May. Children do take up time, they need you 24/7 when you are home.
However unless you are a parent, you will not ever understand how it works. I don't care if you babysit, work at a daycare, don't give a flying ********. When you go through a day of labor, give birth, have a child of your own, manage, college, work, parenthood, homework, perfect attendance, I'm also VP of my school ambassadors I run two charities one for animal shelters in the city another helps a women's home, my boyfriend is deployed, friends and family are factors, I do so much in a day sometimes I could pull my own hair out.
I do ALL of this while being a wonderful mom. I believe she made my life BETTER. Children are blessings, in my case she was. I was married, he left. She gave me the confidence to take up for myself, to go after my dreams instead of being controlled, if it wasn't for my daughter I would not be successful. She is my motivation, my life, my heart and I would kill for her. I do great in life because of her, for those who choose not to see their children the same way I do. I have no words, but I don't judge a group of people by age, religion, culture, views, none of it. We live our own lives. At the end of tonight, I'm going to bed happy and no one can change that.
As for women wanting to have children young, let them. If you don't approve, honesty no one cares about what you think. You aren't living that life, you aren't marrying that person or learning those lessons. We ALL learn lessons through life and you will learn your own. Let them be happy.
bobloon's avatar

Peaceful Pumpkin

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Okay, whatever, guys. All I know is that I'm the only one out of any of my girlfriends that is a college junior... The rest work and take care of their kids. And on their time off, they just wanna drink with me. If you have children, a job, and make time for other time consuming/fulfilling/whatever things, that's something to be proud of because it's pretty difficult. My friend, Tammy, was going to beauty school, though, but had to drop out when she lost her house. Argue with me if you must, but people that can afford to do more than work and take care of their children are either really lucky or work their asses off. Is it not possible to be sexually active and not get pregnant without hormonal/physical/genetic problems? Like, am I stupid or something?
Suicidesoldier#1's avatar

Fanatical Zealot

bobloon
Okay, whatever, guys. All I know is that I'm the only one out of any of my girlfriends that is a college junior... The rest work and take care of their kids. And on their time off, they just wanna drink with me. If you have children, a job, and make time for other time consuming/fulfilling/whatever things, that's something to be proud of because it's pretty difficult. My friend, Tammy, was going to beauty school, though, but had to drop out when she lost her house. Argue with me if you must, but people that can afford to do more than work and take care of their children are either really lucky or work their asses off. Is it not possible to be sexually active and not get pregnant without hormonal/physical/genetic problems? Like, am I stupid or something?


...genetic? O_o

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