Adoption, Why is it a dirty word?

[Flaming Taboo]

I didn't think that adoption was consider so "dirty". I always thought that it was a good way to get a kid.
Well I guess I overestimated america intelligence again ... damn

[marshmallowcreampie]

Flaming Taboo

I didn't think that adotion was consider so "dirty". I always thought that it was a good way to get a kid.
Well I guess I overestimated america intelligence again ... damn

People hear too much from the media. Many of the adopted kids shown in the media such as television show these kids with behavioral problems and such, or these adopted kids have an urge to go find their "real family". A lot of people would feel betrayed if their adopted kid went to go find their biological parents, so that fear turns off adoption. Plus, the adoption process can be pretty expensive. Some even have the fear that the biological parent will track down the kid and try to take him back (but it does happen from time to time, so that is a fairly rational fear).

[Steam Punk Adept]

marshmallowcreampie

Flaming Taboo

I didn't think that adotion was consider so "dirty". I always thought that it was a good way to get a kid.
Well I guess I overestimated america intelligence again ... damn

People hear too much from the media. Many of the adopted kids shown in the media such as television show these kids with behavioral problems and such, or these adopted kids have an urge to go find their "real family". A lot of people would feel betrayed if their adopted kid went to go find their biological parents, so that fear turns off adoption. Plus, the adoption process can be pretty expensive. Some even have the fear that the biological parent will track down the kid and try to take him back (but it does happen from time to time, so that is a fairly rational fear).

And all this fear-mongering makes it harder for a child who needs it to find a family.

[marshmallowcreampie]

AntiThesis of Time

marshmallowcreampie

Flaming Taboo

I didn't think that adotion was consider so "dirty". I always thought that it was a good way to get a kid.
Well I guess I overestimated america intelligence again ... damn

People hear too much from the media. Many of the adopted kids shown in the media such as television show these kids with behavioral problems and such, or these adopted kids have an urge to go find their "real family". A lot of people would feel betrayed if their adopted kid went to go find their biological parents, so that fear turns off adoption. Plus, the adoption process can be pretty expensive. Some even have the fear that the biological parent will track down the kid and try to take him back (but it does happen from time to time, so that is a fairly rational fear).

And all this fear-mongering makes it harder for a child who needs it to find a family.

Yep. Even my mom is convinced that all kids in the adoption system are abused crack babies with genetic diseases and mental illnesses. When I told her the onl way I would ever have kids was adoption, she told me that the kid might burn the house down or something because according to her, 99.9% of all kids up for adoption are crazy and hate everyone. rolleyes

[Temishi]

Hmm....before I say anything else, I am completely open to the idea of adopting a child if I'm not married and trying to concieve by the age of 30.

With that out of that way...

I've never heard of adoption being a dirty word, but I noticed that when I mention it to some people that are friends of mine while at school, quite a few seem put off by the idea.


"It's different when it's your own kid."

I can see where people are coming from this statement. When it's your child, it came from your own flesh and blood, and it's kind of like having an extension of yourself.
At the same time, I guess it doesn't really matter to me, since if I'm going to adopt a child, I'm going to consider them family, regardless.

"But I'm the last male in my family, I have to have my own kids to carry on my family name."

I happen to be somewhat in that situation myself, actually. But like you said, there is the whole legally change last name thing.

"Adoption takes too long"

...to be absolutely honest, I'd rather sign some paperwork than having to wait 9 months and nearly get killed by my labor induced wife while she strangles me as she pushes the baby out, screaming "I'mma kill you for doing this to me!!!"
...or some other random statement.


I guess what I'm trying to say is, that while I am open to the idea of adoption(and may even adopt even if I already have kids of my own, I happen to like kids xD) I can also see where the people who are against it are coming from. Even if it is kinda redundant and not really much of an argument.

[MauEvigEternalCat]

Quote:

Yes i hate when some one says that a gay couple cant raise kids properly and insted of them going to a family that would love and treat them with the upmost respect they would rather them go to a strate family who could care less for them.

Oh yes, because obviously a straight family couldn't possibly take care of someone else's child! Because all straight adoptive parents suck at adopting!

Alright, I'm sure that's not the point you were trying to make, but I should hope you're not implying that straight couples who want to adopt couldn't do a good job of it. I'm not doubting homosexual couples couldn't either.

Personally, I think I'd rather adopt. I don't want to go through the whole pregnancy thing, and while sharing dna would be neat and all...I rather give a child who needs a home a chance to have that. Blood shouldn't matter.

[KingPern]

I am adopted, which turned out to be a very good thing. First, I wasn't aborted. Aside from all of the the "is it wrong or right" arguments, that sure makes me happy! Secondly, I was adopted when i was 10, which is incredibly rare because nobody wants a kid that old. By then, they've been in and out of so many different foster homes and through so much crap that they have a huge load of emotional baggage. I wouldnt have cared who adopted me as long as somebody did! And as for being adopted not mattering, it does if you weren't adopted as a baby. I was in one foster for 5 years and they said they were going to adopt me. Instead, i was moved to a different foster home when i was 9. The reason why was because my foster mom had heart disease, but i didnt know that.
How could I, I was 9, I thought it was my fault. I didnt know about the heart disease part until i was 15 or 16. all those years i thought it was my fault. Adoption is not a dirty word but a blessing. everybody should be allowed to adopt reqardless of their sexual orientation.

[Imported Bum]

From what I have read, everyone seems to be on the subject of adopting babies or very young children. I have four adopted siblings, and they were all adopted as teenagers. One boys was 15, two girls were 16, and the oldest boy was 17. My parents were foster parents and loved these kids so much we adopted them. The process was not long or a hassle. They all speak to their biological parents, and they all are very succesful and smart. I love every one of them and I know our parents love them just as much as they love me and my biological siblings. I understand why people would be hesitant towards adopting, but if you were to open your heart to even one of these kids, you love them just as much as a child of your own.
On the topic of foster care. Foster care is a joke, and the kids who are in foster care and don't get adopted end up in group homes where they are treated like prisoners because their parents messed up. They can't drive until their eighteen,they arn't allowed to go to a friends house without the friend being fingerprinted, they are treated different because their parents messed up. Not only that, but most foster parents arn't good people. There was a little girl who lived at our house for a year( she was adopted by another family), and in the foster home she had been in previously, she was constanly sexually abused by her foster parent. She was eight years old. The foster care system, in my opinion, actually does more harm then good. Of course it's good to get the child out of the home they were in, but they are usually not placed into a better one.
While you may have to go through a few months of paperwork and screening(6 months usually), it's really for the childs own good. To make sure your not some disgusting pervert, or something along those lines.

[thoughts13]

In any case, I plan to adopt a girl.
I've already picked out her name and everything.
I'm really looking forward to it.
And she's only 9 years away!
So excited.

[KingPern]

ya it took me a year to get adopted because my social worker felt so bad about how badly they had screwed up. she wanted to make real sure that i was getting adopted into a good family.

[Pasithea]

I too find this whole idea that women have nowadays about having babies to be rather sickening. They would rather spend up to thousands to ten thousands of dollars to receive IVF treatment to make their own baby out of their own eggs and spouse/bf/mate/whoever's sperm.

It just blows my mind. I believe that I am fertile myself and have the ability to procreate naturally yet I personally would prefer to adopt a child simply because I don't care for the whole 'pregnancy' idea. But who knows, maybe my mind will change in the next 5 years. God knows it has in the past.

Still, even though I see it as incredibly selfish and disturbing for families to choose procreation all the time over adoption, or for parents to choose to have a child they can't care for and then place it in the piece of s**t we have for an adoption system, I think people should be allowed to have these choices because every child should be a wanted child.

If parents feel obligated or is pressured into adopting a child when they really don't want to, they shouldn't have to because I fear that child would only be raised up by parent's that don't really love them or even want them.

[iMystere]

{Jesus saves and loves};;

Usually it ends up being a superiority complex where the person just HAS to let their heritage and genes live on. Conceited much?

But don't automatically bag on someone. Some people just dream of having their own children (Yes, someone women actually WANT to go through childbirth), or various other reasons. It's up to the person, really, but adopting is an amazing thing, and there's no reason to love your child any less (Besides, they all go through that angsty, rebellious teen stage). »»

† For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life. †

[Steam Punk Adept]

The fact of the matter is, that children within the system are being pushed aside now for what ammounts to little more then a test-tube baby, because OMG, mom and dad couldn't concieve without science and absolutely HAD to have a child with thier DNA.

[Kaeje]

I'm with the thread owner on this one. What makes your DNA more worthy of love than someone else's?

[Steam Punk Adept]

Kaeje

I'm with the thread owner on this one. What makes your DNA more worthy of love than someone else's?

Which brings us back to the point, why is adoption so frowned upon?