Cats think they own you and never come up to say hi.
Dogs run up to the door when you come home.
Cats may sit on your lap, but they dig their claws in.
Small dogs just fall asleep and don't try to pull any sh*t
Big dogs will sleep on the floor by the couch if they can't fit on
Dogs mean you're more likely to get exercise - you have to walk them
Cats scratch up your furniture if you go out for a walk
Dogs may do their business inside the house sometimes, but at least they're ashamed of it
Cats are trained to do it inside, in a litter tray - and stink out the entire room
Some dogs are very smart, and some are very dumb - but they love their owners all the same
All cats think they are smart - even the extremely stupid ones
You can't sit and pat a cat for ages - they don't give much or any warning before they swipe
A dog will sit there and take your cuddling like a b*tch
A cat only has fun when it can get its claws out
A dog has fun doing anything - being cuddled, playing fetch, sniffing butts, walking, swimming, etc
Cats damage/completely wreck furniture when they're bored
Most dogs just steal socks, shoes or tea towels to get attention, then hand them over once they've been given a cuddle
Overall:
Cats = mean
Dogs = nice