Same-sex sexual harrassment at cons

[Kimyou]

I just got back from my first convention, and I have to say 99% of it was a totally awesome experience. I dressed as Lust from FMA (I'm female) and got a lot of compliments on my outfit, so I'm really happy that the hard work I put into my costume paid off.

However, I did notice a weird trend that I didn't expect going to the con. I had heard about unwarranted glomping, heard about the pervy guys who try to take cell phone shots up your skirt, heard about the guys who make lewd sexual comments... and I didn't experience any of that. However, what I did get was a lot of what could be interpreted as sexual harassment from other females.


Example 1: A girl came up to me and said, "If it weren't illegal, I would rape you right now." (This one didn't bother me so much because she just seemed really excited, plus my friends and I talk to each other like that all the time anyway.)

Example 2: I was talking to both a guy and a girl, and the guy started saying something along the lines of "nice dress." The girl immediately followed this up with an exclamation of "Nice boobs!"

Example 3: On the last day of the con, my friends and I were walking out of the hotel to get to our car and go home. There were a bunch of people lined up in the hallway near the lobby, and as I passed a certain girl, she blurted out, "I'msorryLustbutIhavetodothis" and then grabbed one of my boobs. I was so startled that all I could do was let out a small shriek and keep on walking, but it left me in a horrible mood for the rest of the day. I wish I had attended the panel about sexual harassment to know how I could have better dealt with the situation.


So, discussion: have any of you experienced sexual harassment from someone of the same gender at a convention? Do you think that same-sex harassment is more justifiable than opposite-sex harassment, or are both equally offensive? Where do you feel the line is between a compliment and sexual harassment?

[Envy Gilead]

I'd say both are equally offensive, but... then I might have a weird mind, considering I'm bisexual. sweatdrop It'd have more... harassment behind it for me? xD

[AmericanZombie26]

Either way. Sexual Harassment is sexual harassment. It does not matter what sex (same or opposite) it is coming from. Thing is, I know EXACTLY how you felt in that situation.

I haven't cosplayed lust (yet) but when I was twinning with my friend in our Lolita outfits we were constant bugged by other con goers to kiss. They just wouldn't take no for an answer, and kept bugging us. (until I had enough and started to yell at them XD)

However, when comments like that are coming from the same sex, it can be harder to deal with. When in those situations, sometimes the person who is harassing you does not really know that what they are doing is bothering you. Sometimes they just get too excited to see you dressed as a character and act without thinking. It can be difficult to tell the difference between joking and serious sexual harassment. (I have no idea if any of this makes sense XD)

[A True American Hero]

Dude.
I've never experienced anything like sexual harassment at a convention. nothing out of the ordinary anyway...

Playing devil's advocate; however, I can kind of understand where these people were coming from. Sometimes people get very excited ( As you stated ) and can't control themselves, especially in a setting such as an anime convention.

It's quite overwhelming for any anime fan... so perhaps when they were harassing you they didn't quite know what they were doing at the time...

But as a previous poster said, sexual harassment, is sexual harassment... and if it made you feel uncomfortable then it is definately sexual harassment, and you should be assertive and let the person/persons know that you were uncomfortable. B| I would most definitely feel violated if I was in your shoes as well ( And if someone decided to grope my breast ( or any part of me for that matter. ), no matter the gender, I'd probably have punched them in the face. )

Though, don't let it bother you too much.
Anime conventions are a magical and amazing experience heart I apologize in the name of all fangirls when I say, sometimes we can over do it a bit sometimes. sweatdrop

[A Purple Duckie]

For me, not too much. I've had a couple of girls ask to grab my boobs or butt and I turn it down and offer hugs instead. Only close friends can hug my boobs razz

But yeah, while comments like "nice boobs" aren't too bad, touching without asking is. I sugguest making it known to people you do not appreciate it, and tell them they should always ask first. If you are particularily bothered by someone, you can bring it up to con security

[Kimyou]

Thanks for your comments, everyone. heart The boob-grabbing incident was the only instance of someone touching me without my permission at the convention. A lot of people asked me very nicely for hugs or pictures, and of course I obliged. (That's what cosplay is all about! ^^) Of course there were also a lot of guys who came up to me and complimented me on my costume while staring at my chest, but I found that to be more amusing than creepy. At least they had the decency to pretend like they were admiring my costume instead of my cleavage, lol.

It's just totally boggling my mind how someone, male or female, could ever think it's okay to randomly grab a stranger's chest. sad I realize the excitement of seeing a cosplay of a character you love can cause people to do really bizarre things, but... damn. I cannot think of a scenario where that would ever be acceptable behavior.

[OhNoesItsMiho]

...Hm, I haven't gotten sexually harassed by the same sex. I got many unwanted side pokes by a random guy in the noise room, though. I know my friend did put her hands on my chest, but she's a friend so meh, you know?

Anyway, I think they're both equally offensive. I don't mind if that person comes up and asks for a hug or a glomp or if they don't say anything and just hold out their arms, I'll know they want a hug or whatever. Like, when I did the Numa Numa with some dude in the noise room. The song was over and he held out his arms and I gave him a big old hug.

I'm flat so no one will probably go squeezing my boobs. I mostly got hugs when wearing my Milk-chan cosplay. I'm actually surprised people asked for my permission. I've noticed so many people hugging others without asking.

[Squidums]

I've never been to a con and I'm going to my first one in January. I'm kinda scared, but not to much not go. I can't worry about the boob grabbing much because I have no boobs (I am female) I also have no a**, so I'm good in that area! XD

I sorry to hear about your harassment, stupid fangirls. ^^

[OhNoesItsMiho]

Squidums

I've never been to a con and I'm going to my first one in January. I'm kinda scared, but not to much not go. I can't worry about the boob grabbing much because I have no boobs (I am female) I also have no a**, so I'm good in that area! XD

I sorry to hear about your harassment, stupid fangirls. ^^

January?? Going to Ohayocon?


I agree with you, though. Random fangirls sexually harassing other girls is NOT cool. Same with guys. Sexual harassment isn't cool.

[Squidums]

OhNoesItsMiho

Squidums

I've never been to a con and I'm going to my first one in January. I'm kinda scared, but not to much not go. I can't worry about the boob grabbing much because I have no boobs (I am female) I also have no a**, so I'm good in that area! XD

I sorry to hear about your harassment, stupid fangirls. ^^

January?? Going to Ohayocon?


I agree with you, though. Random fangirls sexually harassing other girls is NOT cool. Same with guys. Sexual harassment isn't cool.

Nope sorry, Ikkicon Austin, TX! ^^

[Ciyana]

Holy crap. I've never experienced anything that bad. Luckily when cosplaying Envy most people just want to touch my wig cause they're all OMG! over it.

I did get one girl who stalked me around one year I did Kenshin though. I went into the bathroom and of course, I'm female so I used the girls bathroom but she gave me s**t and started like beating on me. Back then I was still fairly new to the convention scene so I just basically told her to go away and did nothing more, though I probably should have.

I'm so sorry that had to be your first experience though. Seriously if anyone wants to do anything risky, it's for photos and you should always ASK first to make sure people are okay with it.

Again, I'm so sorry, me I just like to hug people at cons, and again, I still ask.

Only situation I could think of where that would be acceptable is if it's for a cosplay skit, with people you know well, and even then it'd probably be a fake grope :/ I dunno what runs through peoples head sometimes.

I'd love to see pictures of your cosplay though =3

.:HEARTLESS SHAPESHIFTER:.

[stellacadente]

It wasn't Youmacon, was it? Because OMG, people there would shock a veteran porno director. burning_eyes

And yes, the subject matter does, ahem, stir up hormones in otherwise repressed individuals -- even if they're too young to attend a hentai or yaoi panel, they see it in the con book and go apeshit nuts.

But that's no excuse. I'm not really sure, other than reverse peer pressure, what will work to get people to stop. Except maybe the occasional right hook. Conventions ought to have "self defense from horny cat girls" panels.

[Kimyou]

Miho - I actually saw you there! I was the Lust that pointed at you and squealed "Milk-chaaaan!" I was going to ask for your picture, but it seemed like you had to go somewhere. I dunno if you remember me among the sea of cosplayers. ^^;

Squidums - In an ideal world you wouldn't have to worry about harassment no matter what your body type. I hope you have fun at your first con! ^^

Ciyana - Wait, someone started physically beating on you? Why? Was she mad you were a girl or something? neutral

stellacadente - Nah, it was Sugoicon. I'm afraid to ask what kind of stuff you've seen at Youmacon, but... care to elaborate?


Here are some pictures of my cosplay, if anyone's interested. My apologies about the hair - I didn't use a wig because I was over my budget by the end of the project, and I don't have any experience in styling wigs. I did have violet contacts in, but they didn't show up very well in the photos.

[Canada Oh Canada]

I usually cosplay guys since I have almost no chest, so yeah. Never had that happen.

But one time I cosplayed Lavi and two guys came up to my friends and I (One who was cosplaying Komui and the other not cosplaying anyone) and asked us to write down our characters, e-mail, and our bra-sizes.

>__>

[Gennivieve]

Ugh. This is the one thing I hate about anime cons..

Being excited about seeing a good cosplayer is not an excuse for acting like a moron.
Being excited about seeing a good cosplayer is not an excuse for acting like a moron.
Being excited about seeing a good cosplayer is not an excuse for acting like a moron.

If you allow it, you're just furthering the problem. Harassment is harassment, no matter what sex the offender is. No one should ever just randomly grope a perfect stranger.

Going to a con is no reason to forget how to conduct yourself as a civil human being.