[NPC] Ivan
I can't take it anymore, Gaians! The noise. The noise, noise, noise, noise, NOISE! The riotous cacophony seems to follow me wherever I go. Where is it coming from? Why am I seemingly the only one who notices? I just can't take it anymore! I'm exhausted! Beleaguered! Weeks of sleep deprivation have rendered my mind into a finely minced mush! I may just be a mild mannered accountant, but even I have my limits.
And so, in the throes of another sleepless night spent listening to the thudding footsteps of soldiers -- at least I assume they're soldiers -- marching in unison, I stumbled upon across an interesting passage in one of my old accounting textbooks. Did you know that we accountants mastered the art of time travel years ago? We created a time machine so we could go back and find any lost receipts we could use as tax write offs, but I have a far, far better use for it. Yes -- I plan to go BACK IN TIME until I can finally find somewhere nice and quiet. Then at last I'll finally get some rest! IT'S BRILLIANT! Right? This isn't just the sleep deprivation talking? Okay, good. Because I'm going to need your help, Gaians! I promise some ample rewards for your patronage. For example, our top ten donators will score this fashionable Rot Cruz Halo:
So what do you say, Gaians? Will you help a poor, sleepy accountant who is down on his luck? There are some pretty fabulous prizes lined up for those generous folks who lend me their aid! Help me travel back in time so I can finally nap once and for all! But hurry, because I only have until October 20, 2014 11:59pm PDT to collect the gold!